My journey to the stage

[Music]

[Music]

choose

hi everyone my name is shivani bafna and

giving a ted talk has been a dream on my

vision board

for the last five years and the fact

it’s actually happening right now

feels surreal so when i was asked to

give this talk

i first had a little happy dance in my

room but then it hit me

what could i possibly say that hasn’t

been said before

what could i a 24 year old say to

inspire you

and honestly who from this college board

even deemed me worthy of being here

like many of you i too have watched a

countless number of these talks

but i was always left wondering how was

that guest invited to be on this side of

the stage

and how could i do the same and when i

really thought about it

this has been the case for every single

dream of mine

where was the road map and that’s when

it clicked

let me give the talk today that 16 year

old shivani wished she could have seen

how to get to the tedx stage well

virtually

so to begin let me introduce myself some

of you may know me as a content creator

some of you may know me as a tv host to

interview celebrities

and some of you may know me as that girl

from the bollywood paris proposal video

but i hope all of you by the end of this

know me as someone who has spent the

last five years of her life

striving to build a unique path but more

importantly who has celebrated the

journey

every step of the way i am a second

generation indian american

who grew up in a very privileged

midwestern bubble

i lived in indiana for 10 years ohio for

the next 10 years

and if you’re wondering where that is

yep you’re right it’s in the middle of

nowhere

my dad is a doctor my mom’s an

accountant my younger brother and fiance

work in finance

and i was raised in an environment that

stressed good values and a strong work

ethic

so with my quintessential high school

resume and an admission to the

university of michigan’s biomedical

engineering program

my dream was to become a doctor now

let’s pause

if i went down that route i would have

gotten the collapse from the uncles and

aunties

but i probably wouldn’t be giving the

speech right now so if we go back to the

initial question

how to get to the tedx stage tip number

one

embrace the discomfort of not pleasing

society

because you’re likely shaking things up

and thus

let me share anecdotes from my journey

that i believe got me invited on this

stage

and maybe some of the learning lessons

will resonate with you to go out and do

the same

in your own journey eighteen-year-old

siobhani who was all set to become a

doctor

decided that the summer before she

entered college was the one time she

could do something non-science related

upon seeing a facebook post of the

company miss malini looking for interns

i emailed the address given with my

application and i heard no response

i proceeded to find the founder’s name

melanie agarwal and typed in

all the combinations and permutations of

her email

malniatmasmalini.com

until one email finally went through and

i landed the internship

so tip number two be stubbornly

persistent with your goals

i interned at miss melanie as a blogger

but also thought

while i was in mumbai why not try my

hand at modeling

but again how does one start so of

course

i thought of an ingenious idea i googled

how to become a model mumbai and saw a

few results talking about this place

aramnagar

so anareshvani gets in an auto and says

i get to this area and they’re just

numbered little homes everywhere

i see some model looking people walk in

so i just followed him inside

the casting director would look me up

and down and say who called you for this

audition

and on the spot i would respond with a

poker face

shaolin he sent me shaolin is my mom’s

name

and they’d go there’s no charlie that

works here

to which i’d open up my whatsapp scroll

through a few messages

pretend to find a chat and then look up

and say uh

it’s in here somewhere i’m not finding

it can i still give an audition

and 85 of the time they’d agree

so tip number three fake it till you

make it

that summer finished up and i realized

that this feeling of doing something

unconventional

and figuring it out myself was addictive

but

i’m also my writing and i needed to find

a way to monetize this and make it my

profession

so at 19 i did another google search

bollywood company in america and i

learned there was only one company that

was doing this

the asian variety show again upon

emailing them tweeting at them

cold calling them with no response

detective shivani took to facebook

i looked up abs’s founder’s profile raju

seti

and saw that he’s good friends with

someone else who ran a pr

company and although i had no interest

in working in pr

i decided i would intern there in the

hopes that the friend would give me a

referral to raju

which would ultimately land me the

connection i really wanted

and that brings me to step number four

invest in the marathon

and look at opportunities with a longer

term investment because you’re not

always going to land your dream gig from

day one

now two years into college i realized i

didn’t want my entire undergraduate

experience to just be bollywood and

entertainment focused

so the following years i did corporate

internships media buying and brand

management as well as a three-month

strategy co-op

so tip number five intern and network as

much as you can especially during

college

it’s the best way to get your feet wet

and make mistakes at a company’s expense

fast forward to college graduation and i

have to decide

am i taking the full-time stable

corporate job in new york city

or am i moving to mumbai to work in

entertainment without a set plan

and i’m sure you can guess by now i

trusted my gut

i took a calculated risk and i moved

from my midwestern bubble

to mumbai i didn’t know of a single

person who had done something similar to

what i wanted to do

nor did i have any friends or familial

connections to bounce ideas off of

but what i did have was a lot of passion

a passion to prove myself and to the

world that i could

figure it out a passion to take risks

and a passion to break the mold

so tip number six dream big but with

passion

because without it you’re just watching

other people’s dreams become a reality

like thousands of people who come to

mumbai to make their dreams come true

i too was determined but i made it a

point that i candidly document and share

the ups and downs of the journey behind

every dream of mine there

so that in the off chance some of those

dreams came true thousands of young

adults could learn from my mistakes and

successes

and follow the same steps that i took so

yeah it was cool that i interviewed

shout out khan and acted in tv

commercials and featured on billboards

but what was more important to me was

showing you how those dreams happened

and the craziness and bloopers behind it

all so tip number seven

celebrate the journey as much as the

winds because you are creating a path

for so many to follow and in the words

of gamla harris

while i may be the first i definitely

won’t be the last

the countless rejections at auditions

taking local trains

lying to my landlord and telling him i

worked in finance in order to rent my

apartment as a single girl

difficulties getting paid on time

drinking countless cups of chai

in bed doubting whether this was even

the right decision at all

these were some of those in-between

moments i captured these memories so i

could one day potentially show my future

kids the craziness their mom pulled off

but what i realized is that hundreds of

thousands of people

loved following along my adventures too

we all love a good story right

be it politics reality tv business

sports

sure we root for people who achieve

wonderful things

but we root harder when we’re attached

to their story

so tip number eight embrace the failures

and don’t be shy

admitting when you stumbled a story

isn’t built with just

roses and unicorns ultimately

my story took me back to the us to work

towards building something bigger than

just myself in bollywood

and to be closer to my family in order

to maximize memories created with them

kovid made sure that the former goal had

many many entrepreneurial hiccups

and that the latter goal happened on

overdrive after now living in the same

home as my family for the last nine

months

bringing me to tip number nine maintain

perspective

it’s less about the cards you were dealt

and more to do with how you play them

in a couple of weeks you all are the

first to find out

i am launching a community driven

platform that strives to celebrate the

not so glamorous moments behind

every dream because let’s be honest if

this talk goes to show anything

it’s that the journey is where the magic

happens

my goal is to see more candidness and

authenticity on social media

in our conversations with others and

with ourselves

the platform could very well be a

disaster but it could also be a

transformational movement

so finally tip number 10 find

your purpose it doesn’t happen overnight

and i’ll admit i’m still not entirely

sure i figured out mine

but taking in all of your experiences

and finding a resounding theme

is a good start so getting back to the

initial question

how to get to the tedx stage i’ve shared

10 tips from my personal experience

on what i think landed me here today

because

there was no conscious strategy no

application filled out no sweet talking

someone on the board

someone just dm’d me with the invite so

to everyone in this audience or who

watches this video who dreams of being

on this side of the camera i hope this

talk inspires you to embark on a roller

coaster

journey and embrace all the highs and

lows that come with it

thank you for listening