Living with Multiple Sclerosis Changed by Kindness

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[Applause]

imagine

how would you feel if the doctor told

you

that within 10 years

you would be in a wheelchair and you

would not be able

to recognize the people closest to you

because your brain would face a

cognitive

decline that

is my story

let me take you back when i was in my

20s life was

awesome i just graduated from school

newly promoted newly engaged shopping

for my first house

i had all my goals planned out

and i was so excited to start my

life but along that

cycle i was going through some health

challenges

the tingling in my fingers and toes

were very prominent i was dropping

things so often

i would fall i lost peripheral vision

in my left eye i was forgetful

at the age of 30 i sat in my

neurologist’s office and she showed me

my mri

and all the spots that i had on my brain

many were close to my cerebellum

that was the day that she diagnosed me

with multiple sclerosis

i never imagined that such a young age i

would have

ms a disease

with no cure where my own body attacks

my immune system all of a sudden i felt

like somebody put these opaque

glasses on me where i no longer could

see this future that i had envisioned

i spent many years trying to figure out

how can i find happiness if there isn’t

a cure

i need my goals back i need to be on a

journey to find how i can be happy

i wanted to find happiness

what happened next was my journey

my pursuit of finding

happiness one day i was driving to work

first i dropped my son off at school and

i was

rushing to get to work because i needed

to get to a meeting

and as i was driving and i was speeding

i look in my rearview mirror

guess what i saw red flashing lights and

i

thought uh i’m gonna get another

speeding ticket again

i pull over and i thought maybe it’ll be

a good day after all

maybe the constable will be the same one

i had last time

i envisioned him coming out of his car

with

swagger wearing his uniform

he came to my window and with the female

voice

she said hello ma’am

i fumbled as i was trying to get my

driver’s license

i gave it to her dropped some things she

went back to the police car and i waited

thinking i’m going to be more late

and i waited and i thought i’m for sure

going to be late for my meeting and you

know what

that whole time that i was waiting

she took away all the time that i had

made up speeding

she came back to my car

and she looked at my arm i was wearing

short sleeves that day

and she was she was staring at my arm

you see that night the reason why i was

kind of having a tough morning

was because one of the worst symptoms

that i

feel when my body is in a relaxed state

is i am so itchy that i feel like

someone is pouring bugs

all over me and to relieve

the itching i have a fork in my

nightstand

and i scratch my itches

so hard that sometimes i leave trails of

blood

in my forearm so she looked at the dry

blood

she said i don’t know what you’re going

through

but there’s help out there and i know

you’re a good mom

i saw that picture you dropped when you

were fumbling for your license

is that your son i said yeah he just

turned six

she said he’s beautiful

there are people out there that you can

call if you need it

go ahead so as she gave me my ticket

that was the first time i actually

smiled getting a ticket

as she left i thought to myself wow

she was aware she was aware of what i

was going through and she took time to

be kind

she smiled she lowered the fee of my

speeding ticket

she sent me on my way and as i was

almost at my office i was at a red light

and i looked to my right and there was a

senior old lady there

crying hysterically

she was wiping the tears from beneath

her glasses

i felt compelled to help her i was aware

that she needed

help so i yelled out at her

ma’am are you okay

she shook her head back and forth as she

squinted

to try to see the street signs i didn’t

know what was going on

i just knew that she needed help

so then i yelled again ma’am when the

light turns green

i’m gonna cut in front of you i want you

to follow me into that plaza

that’s exactly what we did

we drove we parked i ran to her window

and i said

are you okay

she said my daughter

is in the hospital having her first

child

at this moment

and her husband left her this morning

i promised my daughter that i would be

there

to help her and she’s alone

can you imagine how i felt

i wanted nothing more than to help her

so i wrote down instructions

i was aware that she needed help and as

i was

writing them down the hospital was so

close i was talking to her

i said you’re going to be there and i

was telling her a little bit about my

life and

and and just kind of breaking the moment

and having her breathe deeply and i said

here’s my business card

on your way to the hospital if you

aren’t feeling well or you get lost

again

i want you to stop at a gas station and

call me i will be there for you

she said thank you and i also told her

that as you’re driving there

i am going to call the hospital and make

sure

that they tell your daughter that you

are on your way

and i will make sure that they know that

you are safe and you will be there

she said thank you she drove off

i got on the hospital and i made sure

that i stayed on that phone with that

volunteer until they came back to me to

say

her daughter is aware she hasn’t yet had

the baby she will soon i said thank you

when i got to work i felt

relieved i thought i was aware of an

opportunity

and i was kind

and that was the day that i finally

found

four words

that brought me happiness you see

kindness goes a long way

it’s a non-medicinal way to heal

within

two months later i received a letter

from her it was the first time that i

had heard

from her i have that letter with me

today

and i would like to share it with you

dear gabriela my angel

i think about you often and how kind you

were to a distressed

old lady thanks to you

i witnessed the birth of my grandson

both the baby and my daughter are fine

thank you for being aware that i

needed help thank you

for being kind here is a little

something

maybe you can get a pedicure or get your

son

something for christmas from

genie

you see jeannie called me

her angel but little did she know

she was mine i found

happiness in four words

the common words in the days proceeding

up to this letter

was be aware be

kind i figured it out

being aware of opportunities around you

doesn’t mean you have to schedule

kindness into your calendar

there are opportunities all around

us that we can take and i realized from

that experience

that every time i did an act of kindness

i felt better and

inside i was healing

kindness is like the ripple effect

if i were to take a stone and whip it

into the water

there would be waves rippling around

that stone and the waves get bigger

and the lily pad over there might do a

little dance

and the birds will sing and the frog

will jump because that’s the energy that

we’ve just

thrown into the water that’s what

kindness is

when we throw kindness it

spreads now kindness it’s nothing new

but the idea of being aware

and then being kind is something that we

can

all look at and take advantage in

you see i gave my son the money that she

had put in the envelope

and he said to me mommy that was really

nice

of what you did i want you to give that

money

to a charity

that’s when the ripple effect started to

unfold that came from a six-year-old who

had a hard time communicating his

thoughts and yet

the police officer was nice to me i was

aware

kind to the lady she was kind back to me

my

son the ripple effect started

and who knows how many other people we

hit see kindness isn’t linear it’s not

like i have to help you and you helped

out me no

when you put it out there it’s gonna

come back to you

one day in some form

and just to prove that point with my son

one day after school when i opened up

his lunch bag

he left me the most beautiful notes he

said

dear mommy everything

was okay except for the rice

you need to put more butter

love john luca

with a little smiley face

now again that’s from a child that had a

hard time communicating and yet

he found a way to be kind with me

and i’m sure that ripple effect took

place

again through his life in school

you see jeannie she definitely was my

angel

she motivated me to start a movement

a kindness movement called be aware

be kind that’s what i was in pursuit of

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shoveling snow or cutting someone’s

grass without them even asking you to

stopping at a kid’s lemonade stand and

buying a drink

giving your umbrella to a stranger when

it’s raining

sending postcards to sick children in

hospitals

kindness is giving food to a homeless

person

noticing someone who needs help with

directions and approaching them before

they ask you for help

kindness is donating your unused

clothing at small appliances

writing a positive review for someone on

social media without being asked

serving food at a homeless shelter

saying hello and smiling at everybody in

the elevator

and kindness is loving for others what

you love for yourself

kindness is showing your support for a

friend

while walking in a fundraiser

in your neighbors lawn or flowers

saying hi to strangers on the train bus

or subway

donating your glasses and hearing aids

asking someone how are you really doing

and then really listening for a response

volunteering at a charity event

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raising money for families in need

giving blood

be aware be kind

be aware be kind join us in the kindness

movement

see where it becomes

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do

[Music]

do you remember when i told you that my

neurologist told me that within 10 years

i would no longer be able to walk and my

brain would suffer cognitive

decline i was diagnosed

15 years ago i’m still standing

and i remembered the speech

thank you thank you think about your

life

what are you going through what do you

want to heal

in your core in your soul do you want to

be happy

if you want to be happy and find healing

please raise your hand

oh yeah all right so then

will you join me in a challenge

will you find an opportunity

to be aware this

week find an opportunity to be

kind is the answer yes

yes yes or yes yes or yes

wonderful that will help you heal i

truly believe in my core in my

soul that i am healing

i will always have ms until there is a

cure

but ms does not have me

i will choose the right attitude i will

be kind to others

because by doing so it allows us to find

happiness

in those four words be aware be kind

i ask you again this week take the

opportunity to be aware

be kind be aware

be aware be aware

thank you