The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Life of Kindness

when i started as a journalist

a woman walk correspondent was an

oxymoron

a contradiction in terms if you’re a

woman

you can’t be a war correspondent and if

you’re a war correspondent

you can’t be a woman my gender

was my biggest obstacle even if we got a

job as a reporter we were sent to cover

events like

inauguration of a toy train in a city

park

which actually was my first assignment

yet within a few years i managed to

sneak into work

on java in sri lanka how did this

happen success is

all about overcoming obstacles

it’s not a hundred meter run or even a

marathon

overcoming obstacles is a lifelong

hurdle race it ends only

when you retire or when you die

so never give up you fail only because

you give up

there is no magic mantra or steroid

build

overcome obstacles but i’d like to share

with you a few

simple qualities and strategies that

worked for me

so how did i get into warzone jaffna

become a war correspondent

despite being a woman my strategy

was to convert my gender liability into

an

asset sounds simple but it can be hard

the good news is that there are

solutions

and these solutions can be simple so to

enter the war zone in jaffna

i dressed like a local woman in a saree

the soldiers didn’t bother to check my

papers they just waved me through

remember women cannot be war

correspondents

all the male reporters were checked and

turned away

remember men can be more correspondents

i was the only one to get in and it was

because

i was a woman instead of giving up

because of my gender my strategy was

flipping the attitude switch in my head

flipping the attitude switch

find a way to convert the obstacle into

an asset

the only tool i required was a sari

which i borrowed from a local villager

of course i don’t travel into conflict

zones with sarees in my

rook sack when you flip the attitude

switch something extraordinary happens

instead of being paralyzed by gloom you

are energized you get

hope you get new ideas you get momentum

you seek and therefore find solutions

you are motivated to keep going ahead

thanks to the frontline work done by my

generation of

uh women reporters gender is no longer

an obstacle for today’s women reporters

but they face new obstacles just as men

must deal with their

share of obstacles we all have a quota

of challenges in life cultural

generational

personal flip the attitude switch

instead of allowing obstacles to crush

you

squeeze opportunities out of them

be determined be patient just

don’t give up people say

success is the right person at the right

time

that’s true but how do you become the

right person

how did time become right this magic

does not happen

suddenly it’s the result of

preparation not for weeks not for months

but for

years i’m known for my interview with

prabhakaran the tamil tiger chief

it was the first interview given by this

lethal

reclusive guerrilla leader but it took

years

of hard work and running into walls

before that interview even happened it

all began

with a one paragraph item i saw in the

hindu newspaper

the jaffna public library had been

burned down

no more details burning a factory

or a house or even a police station is

normal

especially those days but burning

a public library that’s like what

happened to alexandria public library

it seemed a deliberate act of cultural

destruction what was going on i had no

idea

and remember this was long before uncle

google was born

so i started digging the old-fashioned

way

going to libraries in chennai where i

lived

interviewing tamil scholars locating sri

lankan tamils who were living in tamil

nadu to get their

take of the situation

preparation is the best strategy

and strategy by definition is long term

gradually the picture became clear this

was

vendetta on the tamil minority by the

sri lankan state

the pandora box of a brewing

ethnic conflict blew open in my face

none of this was in the mainstream news

but my research revealed a tragedy was

unfolding so with three

years later remember three years later

the brutal anti-tamil sri lankan riots

broke out

i was fully prepared armed with

knowledge and information

that i could do the right kind of

analysis could understand what was going

on

i was ready i became the right person at

the right

time it took three years

to get with zero success

along the way my reports and the

photographs i took of a burning uh

colombo

were displayed in parliament by angry

parliamentarians

who wanted india to intervene to protect

the families

india did benefit

of all this attention and action was

that i

became a natural and neutral choice for

prabhakaran to give his

first interview but remember it came

after nearly four years

of research hard work and reporting

in life-threatening riot situations of

mayhem and madness and murder

i mean people remember you know the

result

the interview i remember the process

all that i had to go through for four

years before that interview happened

so it’s never easy and it takes a lot of

time

a lot of preparation i want to touch

upon

just two qualities just two

that i feel helps to overcome obstacles

qualities you have if you are simply a

nice

person i mentioned this because

across the world you see a terrible

erosion of ethics

values decency the first quality i want

to touch upon is

treating people with respect

ahmed was a small time party worker

in devi gowda’s office in bangalore this

was long before devi gowda became the

prime minister of india devi gowda was

a minister in karnataka government and

ahmed

a low-level janta party worker who hung

around in his office

no one gave ahem at the time of day i

was with

the india trade those days i always

asked ahmed how he was

how was his family once he looked a bit

ill so i asked him if he was

heading for a flow and suggested he’d

take vitamin c which is my answer to all

health problems

it was a trivial incident and i forgot

all about it

but not emmett about ten

years later i’m in delhi with cnn and

devi gowda becomes the prime minister of

india news reporters and tv networks

were waiting for uh for devi gowda to

come down

and make his inaugural statements the

new prime minister always gave his first

interview to durdash in those days

followed by a press conference baby

gaura comes down the stairs and who do i

see

beside him ahmed he was beaming

the reporters mobbed devay gowda

ahmed came to me and whispered he will

arrange an exclusive interview for me

i began beaming when devi gowda started

moving to the right uh to the room where

durdashan had

set up their interview ahmed tugged devi

gowda’s

uh sleeve and pulled him to the left

and led him where our the cnn camera was

set up

we got the first interview and you know

cnn went to

town with their promos new indian prime

minister gives first interview to cnn

all thanks to humble ahmed all because i

was nice to him

10 years ago a kind of mirror

incident happened in pakistan which

illustrates the second

simple tactic i want to highlight

always appeal to people’s better

instincts

or as i said the higher angel

that exists in all of us during an

election

campaign i followed both the candidates

benazir bhutto and nawaz sharif and

benazir was the hot favorite to win

all the western media reporters were

following her

i did too but i did not ignore nawaz

sharif

he saw me at several of his campaign

meetings and i discovered

that benazir bhutto was the darling of

the west

but nawaz sharif was becoming the

darling of pakistan

if only because people were fed up with

benazir’s

husband’s corruption i saw a navajri

wave on the last day of the election

campaign when we were on the plane back

to islamabad

i told nawaz sharif he would win he was

thrilled

and then i was quick to strike a deal if

you become the prime minister will you

give me your first interview

he agreed immediately he really didn’t

expect

to win like in india the

custom in pakistan is that the prime

minister gives his first interview

to state television pakistan tv ptv

despite my so-called deal i didn’t

really expect nawaz sharif to keep his

side of the bar again

there will be hell to pay um

cnn is an american channel i’m an indian

journalist why take that

uh risk absolute no no

but i decided to appeal to navashari’s

better instincts after all he had

promised

so when nawaz sharif was being miked by

the ptv

crew i went up to him and reminding

candy

you promised you would give me your

first interview

he stopped in his strengths he told the

ptv

chief i’m sorry meaning i had promised

he took off his microphone and came to

our set

uh in the next room where cnn had set up

and that’s how i got my first interview

with nawaz sharif as the new prime

minister

and then well you know cnn

and by the way this also proves i have

interviewed more people than prabhakar

i have so many stories of people i was

nice to who came to my help

10 20 years later at critical moments

helping me to break stories even saving

my life i’m not exaggerating

attitude gives the lift to overcome

obstacles determination keeps you going

not to give up thomas edison said

many of life’s failures are people who

did not

realize how close they were to success

when they gave up just think about that

they did not realize how close they were

to success

when they gave up and safe

and successful landing is attributed to

luck

i say it’s karma or grace

it’s good to be good it pays off

in moments you least expect

in ways you can never imagine

thank you

you