Shared Leadership

when you try to define a leader

it’s really looking at someone who’s

taking charge or taking

a step forward when you think of leader

the most immediate examples that come to

mind

are the leaders we know the positional

leaders the leaders in the army generals

the presidents the parents

us as parents you know being leaders in

our homes

and what do we know ourselves for we do

a lot of ordering i do that a lot in my

home ordering my teenage daughter and

son

we do a lot of we give a lot of

direction people are going to

automatically look to you

as the person who can give the answers

and this is very seductive

it is very very seductive one of my

professors at the harvard school used to

tell us

please do not allow yourself to be

seduced because what happens

when everyone is looking at you for

leadership for protection

for guidance for order what happens when

you’re unable to give this direction

what happens when you’re unable to give

this order

so in many times if you notice if you’re

running an organization or you’re

chairing a a team

you’ll notice that when you walk into

the room the first thing people do is

they will look to you

people actually if you’re sitting around

that they’ll turn to that face where

that chair person or chairwoman or

chairman sits and they’ll look to you to

give the start

they’ll hope you have all the answers

and we do get seduced we feel we are the

visionary we feel we are the leader we

are the one they have been waiting for

you’ve heard of that

and the one they have been waiting for

the moment you are appointed

the first things we do is jump into that

traditional role because that’s what’s

expected of us

and like we’ve been coached and nurtured

into that

we find we are jumping into this role i

remember when we’re at school

we did a story we did a book on uh

darkness at noon i think

and there was the whole pavlov’s dogs i

don’t know if anybody remembers that

pav loves dogs at lunch time the bell

wouldn’t even have to ring

they would automatically go to for food

you know

at on the hour they were coached and

because as puppies had been trained

they didn’t even have to ring the bell

anymore at eight a.m they were ready for

their breakfast at

noon and at six and we as humans have

also fallen into that

routine we do look up to people to guide

us

and protect us and to lead us and of

course it can be very frustrating

because often when you’re leading

from that sense you do get a lot of pain

and anger when people are not following

you know we also had a professor would

say we have so many leaders without

followers

why do people want to lead when they’re

not followers you know but we get so

angry and frustrated when we find people

are not

doing as they would what we would want

them to do and that’s why you find

people saying i’m the only one

who can bear this vision i’m the only

one who knows what to do

and before long you get stuck if you’re

not in the office

nothing will move if you’re not at your

desk nothing will move we have seen

people who have failed to go and live

for years

because they’re the ones who know the

answers

be very afraid if you’re in that

position

be very afraid if you’re the one who has

to unlock every problem

if nothing can move and everything is

waiting for you to take a decision

be very afraid because it does lead to

burnout

it does lead to a lot of pain it does

lead to a lot of anger on our part

but also leads to confusion and pain

from the other side where people

are not getting that sense of direction

that you had promised

in your doings and so my

questions have been

what can we do differently what can i do

differently

i left my work in 2016 and went back to

study i had all these questions i wanted

to ask about

leadership and i said why not go to the

best school in the world to try and find

out these answers that i

was seeking these questions so many

unanswered uh questions

but unfortunately when you get to

harvard you end up having the same

answers

questions hit back at you because it’s

back to you as an individual

what is your view on these issues how

would you do something differently

and so my question that i’m posing to

you is how would you change

that narrative in your own work in your

own family

in your own life and i have three or

four areas that i’m

going to share with you based on the

work i’ve done

so one of the things that i wanted to

look at because often we look at the

external for the solutions

but the intel the solution should really

come from us so one of the things that

i’ve

looked at in my journey is it’s not

about them it has to start with me

one of the things i’m seeing is i have

to adopt new ways of working

i have to adopt new attitudes i have to

adopt a new culture because it starts

with me

and we all know that we all hear that it

starts with you

but i’ll give you an example when i was

a consultant for a long time in my

career i worked as an independent

consultant

i had this idea of perfectionism i had

this idea

that unless i wrote the report unless i

completed the report it could not be

submitted

i am done who knew the best analysis and

who knew the way to write the reports

and i had these sayings you’re only as

good as your last report

you cannot submit something that is not

you know so good and you know what

happens it locks you up

because you’re so tied into this virtue

of perfectionism

into this cycle of i have to be perfect

i have to be the one with the answers

and the one with the solutions and you

know what happened

i was not able to grow as a consultant i

did grow a bit i did a lot of work but i

was so busy

many times i would find myself at my

desk at six a.m i’m still writing a

report

you know two days straight i’m working

i’m writing reports i’m not completing

my assignments on time because

you do get burnt out because yes you’re

good yes people want you

but because you’re unable to deliver on

time

people are starting to question why are

your reports coming late but they’ll go

in perfect yes

they’re going well they’ll go in good

but they’re late

and so i had to learn uh one of the

things i’ve had to learn to do

is to change my attitude of course the

first thing i thought can i clone myself

it’s not possible none of us here can

clone ourselves i know science is

growing so fast

but none of us can clone ourselves so

i’ve had to learn

that it doesn’t have to be me it’s good

it doesn’t have to be perfect let it get

done getting something done is better

than not getting it done at all

you know so i have had to change my

attitude around perfectionism

and around being the one with the best

writing the best ideas

and the best insights but another

interesting thing that has been

happening in the last few years as i

grew higher and higher in rank

is that you notice that people look to

you and we

encourage it i talked earlier about

seduction you’re being seduced

you encourage it and so if people don’t

come to you you’re asking why haven’t

you asked me for

answers we need to learn to let people

to trust people so i have had to learn

to trust people i’ve had to learn not to

question when someone does something

wrong i have

to learn to agree that we have gotten

something good let’s move with it

but i’ve also had to learn that when i

give ideas people at times tend to jump

you know when if you’ve seen a

traditional leader in the sense of

leadership when you give your ideas

people immediately do that as if it’s

the only solution

people won’t look elsewhere they will

look to you

all the time and my challenge is to you

what attitudes do you have to change

what behaviors do you have to change

what what has to change in you for you

to enable others to grow

and that’s the journey i’m working right

now i have headlines step back from

perfection

but i’m also learning that when i give

ideas people should not take it as a

command

because every time you say let’s do this

people will immediately run into action

before you know it a whole

establishment has set up because alain

said one two three

and so i’m learning to be careful with

how i voice my requests or my ideas

so that i don’t start an avalanche but

it’s a tricky one and it’s a tough one

because remember like pavlov’s dogs

we’ve been coached to do the work and to

push

but i’ve also learned that i have to

trust people

that i have to let them get on with what

they they are doing

and that i should not take back the work

we have a famous saying of taking back

the work you know at home if you ask

someone to do something and they don’t

do it

do it well you then do it or if you’re

setting up the tents and you feel they

have not done it well

you find yourself before long you’re

climbing up to set up the tent

and if you have a whole team you know so

i have to learn not to take back the

work

those are some of the things i’m

learning to do because often because you

think you can do it best you want to

step

in and do it but remind tell me there

are some things i’m struggling i’m not

the best at i.t

so now there if the height is not

working i cannot jump in because i don’t

know it that well

so i’m learning to trust people and to

step back and to avoid taking back the

work

the second thing that i’m learning on

this journey is to create

a village by choosing the people around

me very

very carefully if you look at all the

great leaders in the

in history i think one of the most

famous things

that is often unspoken about is the

people they surround themselves with

often we focus on the leader so for

wakisa ministries we made focus on

vivian but there’s a whole army around

vivian

and vivian perhaps has selected that

army carefully and that’s likewise what

i’m trying to do

to really try and select people that are

around me we have a famous professor who

would always say

choose your friends carefully but your

enemies even more carefully

i’m trying to choose my village very

carefully and that’s one of the things

that has helped me

through girls for girls to spread this

word around the world

i would never have been able to do this

on my own but together with eight ladies

we founded girls for girls it was a bold

dream

we want to reach 1 million girls by 2025

we know that we can mentor girls and

share our stories

but can you imagine what it would take

me to replicate myself to go around the

world sharing my story

and what we have done instead is i’ve

looked at how best to create a village

how best to create a group of people who

can

actually carry this vision forward and

some of the things that i’ve learned

that help look at people who share your

values

i’m looking for people who share my

values

i’m looking for people who share my

purpose and vision

and perhaps my energy i’m very energetic

so i’m looking for people who share that

energy who are positive not people who

are going to be grouching and

complaining

but people who want to make a difference

and i believe everyone in this room

wants to make a difference

we all want to do something that is

changing our communities

that is changing our world but we also

know that we will get burnt out if we do

it in the old way

of i have to lead and i have to do

everything and so

i’m really very deliberate about the

people i surround myself with

i’m struggling with the enemies bit but

on the friends and people who share my

passion i think i’m doing quite well

and for me the key issue is that once i

have these people around me

let me trust them so there’s a whole

process of building trust

let me trust you that you’re going to be

able to do this well

that there’s a level of of a minimum

minimum level

that we are agreeing under this clarity

of purpose

but my challenge now and the unanswered

question i have is how do i translate

this down the line

because many times when you select

someone to work with you

remember what i said at the beginning

the moment you are pointed into

a position you feel i am the one i am

the vision bearer for this i’m the

leader

so even the people i’m working with

often you find the tendencies coming

through you find someone is actually

pushing to be the one leading and i’m

telling them look

who are you working with that’s the

first question i now ask people

who are you working with who is with you

on this

you know i prompt i i i engage

i challenge i am pushing who is with you

on this

how are you working with others to get

this done because what happens is

because

those tendencies are with us people will

tend to fall back onto what they know

best

which is leading from the front what

we’re trying to create is a shared

leadership

model that allows us all to shine

together

to share this joy together and to grow

together

and so for me that is a key lesson and

as i’ve said one of the challenges i’m

struggling with is

how do i keep the enemies as close as i

would keep say the friends and that

means

allowing and opening myself for

criticism taking feedback

allowing to hear that voice that’s

coming from even the

person in the team who may not hold a

high influential position but wants to

share something

and so we are trying to create those

spaces where people can

can speak and engage it leads me into

the third area so i’ve talked about

myself

my my what i have to change about myself

my attitudes my

insights my approach i’ve talked about

creating a village

and the third one is of course about the

system

kovid has taught us so much kovid has

taught us

a lot about uh we always thought we had

things foolproof but

things fall apart when you get such a

challenge of this magnitude and i know

each of your lives have changed

my life has changed covet came when what

a time in my organization

uh trademark we felt we were climbing

we’re on top of the world we were doing

so much we’re actually expanding

we were going to get new territories we

were

working west africa was calling we just

had a a

team visit from west africa and they

wanted us to go and spread the good news

of the work we do because we do good

stuff

we ease the cost of doing business

around the region we build roads we

build

uh bridges we we we do trade systems

like recently with the truck drivers we

did a system that helped

is uh the truck drivers because of the

coveted pandemic

we have built a system that has allowed

truck drivers now to cross safely into

countries because

their records are can be tracked because

otherwise countries were closing up

borders and yet we’re a landlocked

country for instance in uganda all our

foods

medicines ppe comes from somewhere else

so we create systems but when covid came

of course we were challenged and these

pandemics can set us back

you know the most important thing is if

you have in place the appropriate

systems and platforms for shared

leadership you’re going to have

people rallying around and sort of

overcoming

but what happens with a pandemic is you

tend to fall back into the old ways

and so we found that in the beginning

months of covid we were working 24 hours

we’re not sleeping everyone was hot

pained

angry why are there things moving we are

trying to make change can people see we

are doing this

and so you find that you fall back into

the characteristics ways of leading from

the front

and for me the challenge within the

corporate structure how to fight that

hierarchy how to flatten those

steps that people feel free to give

ideas so the ideas don’t come from me or

from the other leaders in the

organization

so that even the messenger and the tea

person and the driver

feel free to be able to generate ideas

if any of you have those systems in

place i would be glad to hear about them

because for me it remains unanswered

question we have a number that we have

put in place

that we create spaces where people can

speak and engage

but at times people are shy because

again that whole leader follower

mentality comes in

what we need to do is show people that

we are all together in this

that shared vision reiterating it and

getting people to continue

to believe in what we are doing

and then the last one that i wanted to

share is the whole issue of

transitioning

stepping back and stepping out within

the traditional leadership

mold it’s so hard for us to step back

because you believe you’re the vision

bearer or the one that has the answers

it’s so hard for you to

take a step back and say what if i were

not here

what would happen and so for me that’s a

challenge that i’m now working with as i

grow systems for instance within girls

for girls

we recently have transitioned to what we

call 2.0

girls fergus 2.0 which is now a

five-year strategy

to take us into the the one million

girls that we want to achieve

but one of the issues has been we as the

founders

fighting the founders syndrome and

stepping back we know we have created a

team

but there’s always the fear of what if

they fail us

so you keep jumping in to rescue you

know the rescue mentality

you keep jumping in stepping in you’re

always wanting to think oh my god it’s

going to fail let me step in so one of

the things i’m struggling with now is

how to step back

and keep out and let people go but

doesn’t mean i fold my hands

it doesn’t mean that i abdicate

responsibility

it means that i put in place systems for

shared accountability

and responsibility it means that i

encourage people to own

this thing as well they may not have

founded it but that they i inspire them

to own it

it means that when i trust them i don’t

actually come back and take back the

power

that i had sort of handed over it means

that i use the power that i have

very carefully that i do not overstep

that i do not

call people that i do not make them

fear to actually move forward but i also

must learn to

create a way out for myself my exit

how do i exit this beautiful thing that

i am so passionate about

how do i step back i’m not looking to

folding my hands

i am not looking to sitting back but i’m

trying to find that space

where together with the team that i’ve

created and we have grown together

where i can still be of value and use

because you see the fear we have is that

if i hand over this power seems to be

relevant

and yet it’s not the case there’s always

a space but i must learn to use the

power i have

more judiciously and more carefully

[Music]

you