Shared Leadership
when you try to define a leader
it’s really looking at someone who’s
taking charge or taking
a step forward when you think of leader
the most immediate examples that come to
mind
are the leaders we know the positional
leaders the leaders in the army generals
the presidents the parents
us as parents you know being leaders in
our homes
and what do we know ourselves for we do
a lot of ordering i do that a lot in my
home ordering my teenage daughter and
son
we do a lot of we give a lot of
direction people are going to
automatically look to you
as the person who can give the answers
and this is very seductive
it is very very seductive one of my
professors at the harvard school used to
tell us
please do not allow yourself to be
seduced because what happens
when everyone is looking at you for
leadership for protection
for guidance for order what happens when
you’re unable to give this direction
what happens when you’re unable to give
this order
so in many times if you notice if you’re
running an organization or you’re
chairing a a team
you’ll notice that when you walk into
the room the first thing people do is
they will look to you
people actually if you’re sitting around
that they’ll turn to that face where
that chair person or chairwoman or
chairman sits and they’ll look to you to
give the start
they’ll hope you have all the answers
and we do get seduced we feel we are the
visionary we feel we are the leader we
are the one they have been waiting for
you’ve heard of that
and the one they have been waiting for
the moment you are appointed
the first things we do is jump into that
traditional role because that’s what’s
expected of us
and like we’ve been coached and nurtured
into that
we find we are jumping into this role i
remember when we’re at school
we did a story we did a book on uh
darkness at noon i think
and there was the whole pavlov’s dogs i
don’t know if anybody remembers that
pav loves dogs at lunch time the bell
wouldn’t even have to ring
they would automatically go to for food
you know
at on the hour they were coached and
because as puppies had been trained
they didn’t even have to ring the bell
anymore at eight a.m they were ready for
their breakfast at
noon and at six and we as humans have
also fallen into that
routine we do look up to people to guide
us
and protect us and to lead us and of
course it can be very frustrating
because often when you’re leading
from that sense you do get a lot of pain
and anger when people are not following
you know we also had a professor would
say we have so many leaders without
followers
why do people want to lead when they’re
not followers you know but we get so
angry and frustrated when we find people
are not
doing as they would what we would want
them to do and that’s why you find
people saying i’m the only one
who can bear this vision i’m the only
one who knows what to do
and before long you get stuck if you’re
not in the office
nothing will move if you’re not at your
desk nothing will move we have seen
people who have failed to go and live
for years
because they’re the ones who know the
answers
be very afraid if you’re in that
position
be very afraid if you’re the one who has
to unlock every problem
if nothing can move and everything is
waiting for you to take a decision
be very afraid because it does lead to
burnout
it does lead to a lot of pain it does
lead to a lot of anger on our part
but also leads to confusion and pain
from the other side where people
are not getting that sense of direction
that you had promised
in your doings and so my
questions have been
what can we do differently what can i do
differently
i left my work in 2016 and went back to
study i had all these questions i wanted
to ask about
leadership and i said why not go to the
best school in the world to try and find
out these answers that i
was seeking these questions so many
unanswered uh questions
but unfortunately when you get to
harvard you end up having the same
answers
questions hit back at you because it’s
back to you as an individual
what is your view on these issues how
would you do something differently
and so my question that i’m posing to
you is how would you change
that narrative in your own work in your
own family
in your own life and i have three or
four areas that i’m
going to share with you based on the
work i’ve done
so one of the things that i wanted to
look at because often we look at the
external for the solutions
but the intel the solution should really
come from us so one of the things that
i’ve
looked at in my journey is it’s not
about them it has to start with me
one of the things i’m seeing is i have
to adopt new ways of working
i have to adopt new attitudes i have to
adopt a new culture because it starts
with me
and we all know that we all hear that it
starts with you
but i’ll give you an example when i was
a consultant for a long time in my
career i worked as an independent
consultant
i had this idea of perfectionism i had
this idea
that unless i wrote the report unless i
completed the report it could not be
submitted
i am done who knew the best analysis and
who knew the way to write the reports
and i had these sayings you’re only as
good as your last report
you cannot submit something that is not
you know so good and you know what
happens it locks you up
because you’re so tied into this virtue
of perfectionism
into this cycle of i have to be perfect
i have to be the one with the answers
and the one with the solutions and you
know what happened
i was not able to grow as a consultant i
did grow a bit i did a lot of work but i
was so busy
many times i would find myself at my
desk at six a.m i’m still writing a
report
you know two days straight i’m working
i’m writing reports i’m not completing
my assignments on time because
you do get burnt out because yes you’re
good yes people want you
but because you’re unable to deliver on
time
people are starting to question why are
your reports coming late but they’ll go
in perfect yes
they’re going well they’ll go in good
but they’re late
and so i had to learn uh one of the
things i’ve had to learn to do
is to change my attitude of course the
first thing i thought can i clone myself
it’s not possible none of us here can
clone ourselves i know science is
growing so fast
but none of us can clone ourselves so
i’ve had to learn
that it doesn’t have to be me it’s good
it doesn’t have to be perfect let it get
done getting something done is better
than not getting it done at all
you know so i have had to change my
attitude around perfectionism
and around being the one with the best
writing the best ideas
and the best insights but another
interesting thing that has been
happening in the last few years as i
grew higher and higher in rank
is that you notice that people look to
you and we
encourage it i talked earlier about
seduction you’re being seduced
you encourage it and so if people don’t
come to you you’re asking why haven’t
you asked me for
answers we need to learn to let people
to trust people so i have had to learn
to trust people i’ve had to learn not to
question when someone does something
wrong i have
to learn to agree that we have gotten
something good let’s move with it
but i’ve also had to learn that when i
give ideas people at times tend to jump
you know when if you’ve seen a
traditional leader in the sense of
leadership when you give your ideas
people immediately do that as if it’s
the only solution
people won’t look elsewhere they will
look to you
all the time and my challenge is to you
what attitudes do you have to change
what behaviors do you have to change
what what has to change in you for you
to enable others to grow
and that’s the journey i’m working right
now i have headlines step back from
perfection
but i’m also learning that when i give
ideas people should not take it as a
command
because every time you say let’s do this
people will immediately run into action
before you know it a whole
establishment has set up because alain
said one two three
and so i’m learning to be careful with
how i voice my requests or my ideas
so that i don’t start an avalanche but
it’s a tricky one and it’s a tough one
because remember like pavlov’s dogs
we’ve been coached to do the work and to
push
but i’ve also learned that i have to
trust people
that i have to let them get on with what
they they are doing
and that i should not take back the work
we have a famous saying of taking back
the work you know at home if you ask
someone to do something and they don’t
do it
do it well you then do it or if you’re
setting up the tents and you feel they
have not done it well
you find yourself before long you’re
climbing up to set up the tent
and if you have a whole team you know so
i have to learn not to take back the
work
those are some of the things i’m
learning to do because often because you
think you can do it best you want to
step
in and do it but remind tell me there
are some things i’m struggling i’m not
the best at i.t
so now there if the height is not
working i cannot jump in because i don’t
know it that well
so i’m learning to trust people and to
step back and to avoid taking back the
work
the second thing that i’m learning on
this journey is to create
a village by choosing the people around
me very
very carefully if you look at all the
great leaders in the
in history i think one of the most
famous things
that is often unspoken about is the
people they surround themselves with
often we focus on the leader so for
wakisa ministries we made focus on
vivian but there’s a whole army around
vivian
and vivian perhaps has selected that
army carefully and that’s likewise what
i’m trying to do
to really try and select people that are
around me we have a famous professor who
would always say
choose your friends carefully but your
enemies even more carefully
i’m trying to choose my village very
carefully and that’s one of the things
that has helped me
through girls for girls to spread this
word around the world
i would never have been able to do this
on my own but together with eight ladies
we founded girls for girls it was a bold
dream
we want to reach 1 million girls by 2025
we know that we can mentor girls and
share our stories
but can you imagine what it would take
me to replicate myself to go around the
world sharing my story
and what we have done instead is i’ve
looked at how best to create a village
how best to create a group of people who
can
actually carry this vision forward and
some of the things that i’ve learned
that help look at people who share your
values
i’m looking for people who share my
values
i’m looking for people who share my
purpose and vision
and perhaps my energy i’m very energetic
so i’m looking for people who share that
energy who are positive not people who
are going to be grouching and
complaining
but people who want to make a difference
and i believe everyone in this room
wants to make a difference
we all want to do something that is
changing our communities
that is changing our world but we also
know that we will get burnt out if we do
it in the old way
of i have to lead and i have to do
everything and so
i’m really very deliberate about the
people i surround myself with
i’m struggling with the enemies bit but
on the friends and people who share my
passion i think i’m doing quite well
and for me the key issue is that once i
have these people around me
let me trust them so there’s a whole
process of building trust
let me trust you that you’re going to be
able to do this well
that there’s a level of of a minimum
minimum level
that we are agreeing under this clarity
of purpose
but my challenge now and the unanswered
question i have is how do i translate
this down the line
because many times when you select
someone to work with you
remember what i said at the beginning
the moment you are pointed into
a position you feel i am the one i am
the vision bearer for this i’m the
leader
so even the people i’m working with
often you find the tendencies coming
through you find someone is actually
pushing to be the one leading and i’m
telling them look
who are you working with that’s the
first question i now ask people
who are you working with who is with you
on this
you know i prompt i i i engage
i challenge i am pushing who is with you
on this
how are you working with others to get
this done because what happens is
because
those tendencies are with us people will
tend to fall back onto what they know
best
which is leading from the front what
we’re trying to create is a shared
leadership
model that allows us all to shine
together
to share this joy together and to grow
together
and so for me that is a key lesson and
as i’ve said one of the challenges i’m
struggling with is
how do i keep the enemies as close as i
would keep say the friends and that
means
allowing and opening myself for
criticism taking feedback
allowing to hear that voice that’s
coming from even the
person in the team who may not hold a
high influential position but wants to
share something
and so we are trying to create those
spaces where people can
can speak and engage it leads me into
the third area so i’ve talked about
myself
my my what i have to change about myself
my attitudes my
insights my approach i’ve talked about
creating a village
and the third one is of course about the
system
kovid has taught us so much kovid has
taught us
a lot about uh we always thought we had
things foolproof but
things fall apart when you get such a
challenge of this magnitude and i know
each of your lives have changed
my life has changed covet came when what
a time in my organization
uh trademark we felt we were climbing
we’re on top of the world we were doing
so much we’re actually expanding
we were going to get new territories we
were
working west africa was calling we just
had a a
team visit from west africa and they
wanted us to go and spread the good news
of the work we do because we do good
stuff
we ease the cost of doing business
around the region we build roads we
build
uh bridges we we we do trade systems
like recently with the truck drivers we
did a system that helped
is uh the truck drivers because of the
coveted pandemic
we have built a system that has allowed
truck drivers now to cross safely into
countries because
their records are can be tracked because
otherwise countries were closing up
borders and yet we’re a landlocked
country for instance in uganda all our
foods
medicines ppe comes from somewhere else
so we create systems but when covid came
of course we were challenged and these
pandemics can set us back
you know the most important thing is if
you have in place the appropriate
systems and platforms for shared
leadership you’re going to have
people rallying around and sort of
overcoming
but what happens with a pandemic is you
tend to fall back into the old ways
and so we found that in the beginning
months of covid we were working 24 hours
we’re not sleeping everyone was hot
pained
angry why are there things moving we are
trying to make change can people see we
are doing this
and so you find that you fall back into
the characteristics ways of leading from
the front
and for me the challenge within the
corporate structure how to fight that
hierarchy how to flatten those
steps that people feel free to give
ideas so the ideas don’t come from me or
from the other leaders in the
organization
so that even the messenger and the tea
person and the driver
feel free to be able to generate ideas
if any of you have those systems in
place i would be glad to hear about them
because for me it remains unanswered
question we have a number that we have
put in place
that we create spaces where people can
speak and engage
but at times people are shy because
again that whole leader follower
mentality comes in
what we need to do is show people that
we are all together in this
that shared vision reiterating it and
getting people to continue
to believe in what we are doing
and then the last one that i wanted to
share is the whole issue of
transitioning
stepping back and stepping out within
the traditional leadership
mold it’s so hard for us to step back
because you believe you’re the vision
bearer or the one that has the answers
it’s so hard for you to
take a step back and say what if i were
not here
what would happen and so for me that’s a
challenge that i’m now working with as i
grow systems for instance within girls
for girls
we recently have transitioned to what we
call 2.0
girls fergus 2.0 which is now a
five-year strategy
to take us into the the one million
girls that we want to achieve
but one of the issues has been we as the
founders
fighting the founders syndrome and
stepping back we know we have created a
team
but there’s always the fear of what if
they fail us
so you keep jumping in to rescue you
know the rescue mentality
you keep jumping in stepping in you’re
always wanting to think oh my god it’s
going to fail let me step in so one of
the things i’m struggling with now is
how to step back
and keep out and let people go but
doesn’t mean i fold my hands
it doesn’t mean that i abdicate
responsibility
it means that i put in place systems for
shared accountability
and responsibility it means that i
encourage people to own
this thing as well they may not have
founded it but that they i inspire them
to own it
it means that when i trust them i don’t
actually come back and take back the
power
that i had sort of handed over it means
that i use the power that i have
very carefully that i do not overstep
that i do not
call people that i do not make them
fear to actually move forward but i also
must learn to
create a way out for myself my exit
how do i exit this beautiful thing that
i am so passionate about
how do i step back i’m not looking to
folding my hands
i am not looking to sitting back but i’m
trying to find that space
where together with the team that i’ve
created and we have grown together
where i can still be of value and use
because you see the fear we have is that
if i hand over this power seems to be
relevant
and yet it’s not the case there’s always
a space but i must learn to use the
power i have
more judiciously and more carefully
[Music]
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