Learning How to Get What You Want

let me tell you a familiar story

it’s dinner time we’re at the table and

my son junior hasn’t eaten any of his

vegetables

and i’m like most moms i want him to eat

his vegetables in a reasonable amount of

time

without hiding him under his plate or

trying to feed him to the dog

so what do i do well first i have to

figure out

what do i want and i want him to eat his

vegetables

before bedtime then i have to position a

solution

to one of his problems now what’s one of

his problems

being his mom i can tell you for sure

one of his constant problems

is not getting all the ice cream he

wants so in this case

vegetables are going to become the

solution to his problem

of wanting ice cream and i say after

dinner

we get dessert

exciting right and i say junior

look your sisters finished their dinner

and now they’re eating ice cream now the

girls are in on it and they want their

little brother to grow up healthy and

strong

and eat his vegetables of course and so

i say girls

how’s your ice cream are you glad that

you ate that salad

and they say oh mommy it’s so good it’s

so yummy

junior hurry up eat your vegetables so

you can have ice cream with us

and i say junior can’t you see the

faster

you eat those vegetables the faster

you’re gonna get ice cream and i’m no

longer

nagging him instead i’m giving him a

path

to getting what he wants so how does

this work

the process comes from sales and you

might say

oh no thank you i’m not into sales

that’s not for me yes it is

we’re all in sales from ideas

to interviews we sell daily

now over the last two decades

of selling managing

running a sales program creating sales

competitions

and training i’ve analyzed thousands

of sales conversations and

just recently i actually joined a team

where we created a technology

that is able to analyze sales

conversations in bulk

just last semester we analyzed over

46 000 sales conversations

and through these sales conversations

we’ve been able to really hone

in on the sales process now over time

i’ve seen the sales process

help people to win business to get

promotions

get jobs but i’ve also seen it help my

own students

have better relationships with their

friends their family

and their significant other if you can

hone in and stick to a process that you

know

works you’re going to be on your way to

getting what you want

but then also building some confidence

along the way

so what’s the process right

the process is know what you want

be what they want and be prepared

to handle pushback so how does this work

for sales let’s break it down what do

you want

well you want to make a sale what does

the company want

the company wants to cut cost so how can

you be what they want

the solution to their problem well

fortunately

you sell a technology product that can

help the company to become more

efficient

and also to save at least 10 percent of

cost

and the company is hesitant and they say

how can we trust these numbers

but you’re ready for that and so you

clarify and you make sure you understand

the pushback that you’re getting and you

share

evidence data stories

testimonials from several customers

that you’ve recently been able to help

just in the last six months

to save 10 or even 20 percent

so you ask can you see how we can help

you

to save at least 10 percent in the next

six months

the company agrees and you’re on your

way to making that sale

now how can this work for you what if

you don’t sell that technology product

or what if what if you don’t have that

ice cream adoring sun like i do what if

you don’t even know what you want

well let’s break that down and you

guessed it

there’s a process for that too the

process is

align your values

your experience and your talent

to find direction values

what’s important to you experience

what have you done and talent

what are you good at it can help in some

of the toughest scenarios

like trying to find out what do you want

to get out of life

what do you want to do for a job and

even one of the hardest decisions of all

what do you want to make for dinner

right that’s a tough one and every day

every day you have to make that one now

let’s go ahead and illustrate this with

that example

of what we want to make for dinner let’s

start with value

i value using things up before they go

bad

so i’m gonna head over to the

refrigerator i’m gonna see what’s in

there and let’s say

i see some chicken some pasta and

cottage cheese so i’m gonna take that

out

experience i’ve learned over time that

sometimes

foods pair together and others they

don’t so i’m going to put that cottage

cheese back in the refrigerator

and talent i can heat these up add some

jarred sauce

and there’s dinner so we originally

created this process

in order to help people create their

brands online with social media

because they could post around that

purpose

but it can do so much more than that

i like to say yes to projects

i like to help people when they ask for

it

and i have a tendency to over commit

right hannah’s here in the front row she

can tell you she sees it all the time

but if you can identify your purpose

when a new project request comes in

you can look at it and say is this going

to get me on the path

to where i want to go or is this just

going to be

a waste of time and a distraction so

identifying that purpose

can help you to say no to projects

and it can help you in so many ways

so do yourself a favor before you go

into that next meeting

take 30 seconds and think about what do

you want to get out of that meeting

before you go into it and chances are

that meeting is going to be more

productive

now we’re going to talk about being what

they want

and i’m not saying give up who you are

this is really about framing and

positioning yourself

as the solution to the problem now you

might notice up here

you see a screen of cookies these are my

favorite cookies

but you can just imagine your own

favorite cookies up there

it’s important to remember when you are

going after what you want

it’s it’s tough but most people

they don’t care what you want they don’t

want to help you

get what you want they want what they

want

so how can you bring them over to your

side

well you’ve got to show them that

helping you

is really giving them what they want

companies do this all the time people

don’t buy

products they buy solutions to problems

they buy outcomes drivers are not just

buying

cars right they’re buying autonomy

and dependability and status during the

pandemic

the consumption of comfort foods has

gone up

we’re not buying cookies at the store

we’re buying

outcomes we’re buying solutions that

little slice

of happiness that ability to treat

ourself

after a tough situation or the crispy

sweetness

and enjoyment of that after a tough day

to really

take our mind off of the stress

so you might wonder how can we do this

how can we be

what they want

well you guessed it spoiler alert

there’s a process

for that too and the process is

udea now keep in mind when i’m not up

here

i’m a mom of three and i don’t get much

sleep so i’ve worked these around in

many combinations

and this is what i’ve come up with but i

think you’re actually going to remember

this

because instead of an idea it’s about

the person you’re talking to so it’s a

you dia

so when you’re going after what you want

to be

what they want first you have to

understand understand what is the

problem

that needs solving next dig

deep really understand why is this

problem important to the person

why does this problem need solving and

why does this problem need solving now

the next is evidence provide

data stories statistics

evidence to show that you are the

solution to the problem

that you’re the right fit for that job

that you should be the one

that they buy from and then finally

agree do they agree with you

do they agree that you are the solution

to the problem judea

if you can identify that problem and

really understand why it’s important

and get the agreement that you can solve

it

and of course that they want the problem

to be solved that’s another talk

in itself but if you can do those things

you’re going to be on your way

to getting what you want

next we’re going to talk about pushback

pushback is fun if you learn how to

handle

it properly you’ve got to

lean into objections lean into pushback

it’s it’s really difficult when we get

pushback because we often get defensive

or we want to run away so what happens

in a meeting

if you have an idea someone speaks up

and they say nope

that’s not going to work that’s not good

what do you do

do you withdraw from the group and stop

speaking up

do you find a reason to leave the group

all together

or do you defend your idea right away

there’s another option and in sales it’s

called a

wait for it process

process and you know what this process

should be very easy for you to remember

because we just talked about you dia and

now this is yuvia

now remember i am a mom of three and i

don’t get much sleep but this is what

you get

and i think you are gonna remember it so

when you’re getting pushback

first understand

really clarify and lean in to understand

what the true concern is usually it’s

not evident and there’s

layers so we have to try to understand

but naturally we have a knee-jerk

reaction and we want to be defensive and

we don’t listen

so you have to fight that it could be as

simple as just

asking why but i’m telling you

it takes a mindset shift

and you really have to work at it next

validate sales is all about helping

we’re on the same team you don’t have to

agree

with that objection with that pushback

but you should let them know that it’s

okay for them to feel

the way that they feel that they have a

right to feel that way

next evidence prove with data

story statistics testimonials what you

say to be true

and then finally agree do they agree

with you

are they no longer concerned about that

objection

and if they are it’s important to go

back

to you to start all over again

to see what it is that you missed now

objections can come at any time of

course they can come when you’re asking

for the sale and

they can come when you’re asking for

that promotion you’ve been wanting

but they can even come when you’re

walking in the door

one of my students jordan he was

interviewing for

a position and it wasn’t just any

interview

it was his perfect dream job interview

he was so excited he went to the

company’s website

at least a hundred times beforehand he

practiced

he walked in with his nice blue suit he

had his leather

portfolio with him and they took him

right away

as soon as he entered the hiring

manager’s office as soon as he walked in

the hiring manager stood up and he said

we don’t hire college students right out

of school

and i’m not planning to i just want you

to know that

i’m really just taking this meeting

as a favor to a friend so just so we’re

on the same page

coming in right that’s really hard

that’s really hard to handle

going in but you know what jordan

he remembered his training and he stayed

calm

and he went to understand and he said oh

yeah

why is that why don’t you hire right out

of college

and the hiring manager went on to say

look we don’t do it because we hired a

student out of college

he didn’t have experience he needed too

much training we couldn’t do that we’re

a small company

so jordan validated he said you know

what i can certainly understand

why you wouldn’t want to hire somebody

who doesn’t have experience

it makes perfect sense you’re a startup

you have so many other things to do

and here’s the deal you can’t argue with

somebody who’s not arguing back

right the hiring manager felt like

jordan got the message

and they continued the conversation this

gave

jordan that opening to talk about his

experience

he had internships he was the president

of the sales team

he had competed nationally and

internationally where he was ranked

he had done hundreds of role plays now

the manager was

surprised he didn’t even know that you

could study sales while you were in

college

and jordan went in for agreement

he said can you see

that i have experience that i’m going to

hit the ground running

the hiring manager did agree and he

hired jordan

and not only that he gave

jordan two promotions just within

the first year of working there

uvia it’s a simple process

and if you use it i hope that you can

lean into pushback

and see the opportunity in that

hesitation

today we talked about learning how to

get what you want

know what you want be what they want

and be prepared to handle pushback

so now the only thing left to figure out

are you ready to get what you want

thank you