Thrown into the Fast Lane Learning to Adapt

good evening my name

is amber i’m very honored to be able to

stand here

and share some story with you i only

have 400 instagram followers

i’m only a graduate of middle school i

never won’t roll competitions

i never found companies i am a student i

a 11th grader i live a life pretty

similar to you people usually talks

about those things that seem

impressive but today i’m sharing

something behind this

that people really talked about which is

about mental health issues

but mental health issues i don’t mean

depression or bipolar disorder

it may simply be problems about

relationships

family pressure given or made

according to the world health

organization estimated 10 to 20

percent of a dozen globally experienced

mental health conditions

yet remain under diagnosed and under

treated

i believe you all have met mental

challenge maybe in the past

currently or maybe you will in the

future

so what will you how will you define

mental challenge or perhaps

mental challenges there’s a period of

time in my life when i feel

miserable and helpless and i question

myself over and over again

why am i here in this world through two

of the biggest turbulence i met in life

i found a thing that can break me i

found a better way to be involved in the

community

to organize my emotions and to balance

my life

and to balance between me and people

around me

what we’re thinking when you’re in

seventh grade well i thought i was a

self-centered person but first i thought

i was a super hero

and i believe i’m the best person in the

world

i can do everything by myself i don’t

need people

because i feel like i’m having super

power

i can finish all the projects do all the

things by myself

and every time when the teacher asks a

question i raise my hand so quickly

when we’re in a group discussion i

always share my idea as loud as possible

and believe it is the only correct and

the best one

and because of this self-centered salt

it created a layer between me and my

classmates so

i don’t really have a friend i go

through a time when i was very depressed

and very lonely and it’s a mental

challenge that i don’t know how to

describe to others

the thing that helped me through is

music

i started to spend two to three hours

per day or even 45 hours doing vacations

to practice the violin

and it’s the moment when i understood

how music is something that can

accompany me

it won’t run away and it won’t betray me

it’s like your best friend

and every time when i can pick

i pick it up it can help me it can cheer

me up and

get me out of the depressed time so

music became something i turned to i’m

happy

sad or i felt lonely so i got through a

time when i was

quite depressed and

i started to reflect and think myself

over and over again

and i found out that i should

reflect so i start to

think what problems i have and i found

out that i should listen to others more

i should spread kindness to people

around me and that’s

the time when i realized the importance

of cooperation and listening to others

during a period time i can grow even

more because

i’m not alone i’m not using my own power

but instead

a group of people’s power so this is how

i go through my first and second chat

my first mental challenge the first

thing i learned is to find an interest

whether it is a musical instrument a

sports or any hobby that can

accompany you or make you happy while

doing it

the second i learn lesson i learned is

to reflect to

improve yourself i’m not telling you to

be like what others want you to be

but because we always live in a

community and interaction within people

is very important and necessary so

probably by making some small changes it

can allow you to

get interact with more people and grow

even better

so i kind of overcome my first mental

challenge

but it also became the reason why i met

my second turbulence

which happened recently so during 9th

and 10th grade

i turn from a very self-centered person

to someone who cares too much about

others

not about what they want me to be like

but about

what they feel is about my actions

during 7th and 8th grade

i won several volunteer competitions and

i turned afraid to play for others

i’m afraid i’ll fill people’s

expectations on the award winner

and i also found so many people that

plays much better than me

and afraid that people

around me will feel like their friends

or my family plays much worse than

others

so i turned less and less interested in

practicing and performing the violin

as you might heard i graduate as the

founders honor award in both primary

school and middle school

that’s the moment when i receive my word

in 9th grade

i’m so afraid that my grade will drop

that my assessment will not be as good

as they were and

teacher will be disappointed from what

they expected of a girl who won

founders honorable twice

so i’ve imagined so many situations of

how family

friends and teachers can be disappointed

on me

i’m a person who rarely cries but during

a period of time my tears can always

drop out of nowhere

when i’m showering lying at bed talking

to friends or

even just walking every moment when i’m

allowed to think those

expectations and scary pressure will

come into my mind

and moreover i tell myself that i

shouldn’t

be sad because i’m so lucky i have

healthy body

i have lovely family and friends i

receive a good education i can

get almost reasonable things i want i

just cannot desire more than what i

already have

so every time when i feel depressed or

when i want to complain

i tell myself that i shouldn’t because

there are so many more people living a

much worse life than i am right now

so summing up those pressures and

imagination i feel like

everything i do is for people around me

i practice violin i play violin so that

my family

and friends will be proud of me i study

because my family and friends and

teachers will be happy if i could

get a good grade so i found that i did

everything for people around me instead

of myself

and i questioned myself what’s the

purpose of doing these

why should i practice why should i play

violin what’s the purpose of studying

what’s the purpose of

going to school and make people happy or

doing things so

people will be proud of me i lose the

reason why

i still do these things or why i work

hard to for these

so i turned very unmotivated and

i turned also depressed because i hate

the amber that

is very unmotivated i try to make some

changes

i start to search for motivation videos

on youtube

so there’s usually like piano and drum

as the background music

and a guy will usually say something

like this there’s no other way around

a success is a goal you’re ultimately

seeking you must be obsessed with the

process

so yeah i watch them one by one over and

over again

but never make changes have you ever

told yourself that you don’t want to be

like someone or

be kind of person i told myself that i

don’t want to be three kind of person

lazy unmotivated and aimless and i found

out that

i fit all them i fall in the unmotivated

cycle every single day

and i just cannot get out of it the

thing that

magically happened is in 2019 during

december

i started to be happy every single day i

still cannot find a reason why maybe

it’s christmas but

after i have a happy mood i realize the

importance

of having the good emotions i’m able to

think and reflect

and decide that i should change my

mindset

i turn those expectations to something

that encourages me

i start to practice violent because i

enjoy

and i want to play beautiful music i

start to study because

i want to learn from it i want to

fulfill my curiosity

and i want it to help me go through my

dream path

and that’s also the moment when i pick

up my violin again after i put down

those fear of expectations and pressures

and i found having an interest helped me

to go through time when i have worries

and can always trim me up so music

became very very important to me

so i got through my second turbulence

by first having a happy mood by having a

happy mood i’m able to reflect

think clearly and to acknowledge that

what problems i have and second just as

the first

turbulence i learned to have an interest

that can cheer me up and

help me go through times the third thing

i learned is to change those

mindsets turn those scary expectations

and pressure from

those things that fears you to something

that encourages you

i found a quote and i really love it

so if the person actually cares about

you they want you to be happy

so if you’re able to be happy and you

can work to your goal

all those people should who really

really cares about you

should be so proud and be so happy to

you so you don’t need to

strive for working for them and make

them happy

if you’re able to motivate yourself and

be like who you want to be

they should be so proud of you if they

really really cares about you

so from the first and second turbulence

i learned some lessons and you can see

my transitional thoughts

i turn from someone who is very

self-centered

so someone that is not so motivated and

not so confident

moreover i learn the lessons

are dissimilar to adapt reflect

and balance the way i did it is to first

have a happy mood and have an interest

to cheer

up or accompany you through times the

second thing

then after you have a happy mood you can

start to reflect

and improve yourself you can change your

mindset

and a bit by a bit you can improve

yourself and one day you can adapt to

the environment that you’re not used to

so repeat again the way to go through

turbulence or challenges in my mind

in my way is to first have a happy mood

second to work towards reflex and third

you can adapt

so reflect adapt and balance

before i finish my speech i would like

to share you one of my favorite

volunteers

called polonius by vinosky hope you

enjoy it and hope you can find something

that can do the same as music

is to me

[Applause]

[Music]

okay

[Music]

thank you

[Applause]