3 rules for better worklife balance The Way We Work a TED series

Transcriber: Leslie Gauthier
Reviewer:

For so many of us,

myself included,

our days feel filled
with a million small interruptions.

And this is true even of our days off.

Maybe you’ve taken a call at the beach,

texted your boss from the grocery store

or emailed a colleague
while on a picnic with your family.

We’ve convinced ourselves
that these behaviors are no big deal.

It’s just one email.

But there’s a real cost
to these interruptions,

and there are smart strategies
we can all take

to better protect our time.

(Music)

[The Way We Work]

These moments seem so small at the time,

and yet research suggests
they add up to a tremendous loss.

The constant creep of work
into our personal lives

can increase our stress

and undermine our happiness.

So just what is the cost?

In one study,

researchers recruited parents who were
visiting a science museum with their kids.

Some parents were told to check
their phone as much as possible;

others were told to check their phone
as little as possible.

After the visit,

parents who used their phones reported

that the experience
was significantly less meaningful.

They also felt much lonelier.

In another study,

tourists who were asked
to have their phones out

while visiting an iconic church

remembered fewer details a week later.

And in my research,

employees who were paid
for their performance

spent increasingly less time interacting
with friends and family,

and more and more time
interacting with colleagues and clients.

These constant interruptions
come at a cost to organizations, too.

Companies lose 32 days of productivity
each year to employee depression,

which is often caused by the stress
and burnout of our always-on culture.

Despite knowing better,

I, too, have found myself focusing
on “urgent work distractions”

over important life moments.

Most recently,
I found myself texting a client

while in the middle
of my first child’s first ultrasound …

happy client,

guilty mom-to-be.

When you add up all of these moments,

the sum total is a life
shortchanged on meaning,

joy,

connection

and even memory.

As we remake our models of work
in the wake of the pandemic,

now is our opportunity to create
a new culture that respects time.

And the way to make this really big change

is through small steps
that we can take right now.

The first step that we need to take
is to reframe rest.

Reflect for a moment about what you think
about when you hear the word “rest.”

Sounds amazing, right?

But in my mind,

I immediately worry
about not being productive enough

or letting down my colleagues.

When we do have time off,

we need to find ways in which
we can enjoy the present moment

and savor the leisure time
that we have available,

as opposed to seeing it
as an unproductive barrier to our work.

One specific strategy we can take

is to treat our upcoming
weekend like a vacation.

On Friday afternoon,

jot down how you would act and behave
as if you were on a holiday.

Maybe you and your partner
will buy a bottle of wine

and watch online clips
of the Eiffel Tower.

Maybe you’ll visit a local café

and listen to some live music.

Or maybe you’ll go for a long
walk in the middle of the day

with no phone and no agenda.

The plan doesn’t have to be
expensive or extravagant.

Another strategy you can take
is to create clear boundaries

for your time off.

Instead of saying, “I’m out of the office.

Feel free to Slack me whenever,”

say, “I’ll be offline.

Call me only if it’s urgent.”

To uphold these personal goals,

work together as a team.

Set team goals for personal time.

Do it publicly,

collect data

and hold each other accountable.

These goals could sound like,

“I will not check email
between 6:00 and 8:00pm;”

“I will have dinner with my family
four nights a week;”

or “I will go for a jog midday.”

Check in our your team’s progress

and see how everyone’s doing.

If you or your teammates are unsuccessful,

work together to help
accomplish personal goals.

Lastly, you can negotiate for more time

to prevent work from creeping
into your personal life.

In business school, I teach
students to negotiate for salary

but realize I spoke almost nothing
about negotiating for more time.

What does this look like in practice?

You can ask for more time
on adjustable deadlines at work.

If your client asks
for a deliverable Monday morning,

ask for an extension
until Tuesday afternoon

so you don’t find yourself working
on your well-deserved weekend.

And don’t worry too much about reputation.

Quality truly is the metric
that matters most.

In my data,

employees who proactively
asked for more time

reported lower levels
of stress and burnout,

and were seen as more committed
and professional by their colleagues.

These are small but powerful changes
to not only reframe rest,

but to reclaim it.

Once you discover the profound impact
that these changes can have,

you’ll feel empowered to demand
that others respect

and accommodate your approach to time.

Maybe they’ll even feel inspired

to piece together the fractured moments
of their lives, too.