A strong mindset for a life without resentment

27 june 2010

we are on the starting gate of the world

motocross

championship series my mechanic is on my

right

he give me some last advice one very

important thing i need to make a quick

start is crucial for the rest of my race

15 second on the billboard five seconds

i hit the gas to get drops i come out in

fifth position

quickly i am overtaken by some other

competitors that are more experienced

than me

but i find myself in a very nice eight

position

i passed front of the pit lane my

mechanics that tell me on the pit board

keep going continue like that

unlike the other time i was riding like

i was flying over the track

i was riding smooth clean just perfect

and i arrived on this fateful jump

a very difficult jump with a lot of

lines a lot of rats

due to the sandy tracks in latvia i take

the bump

the bike threw me out on the front i

land on my back and i feel a big crack

in my lower back directly i know my legs

doesn’t respond anymore

i am paraplegic in one second

i see my entire carrier before my eyes

and i am thinking all of his sacrifice

all of his suffering

love is training during the season and i

said what

all of this for what for being

paraplegic for the rest of my life

luckily i’m being taken off the

racetrack

they bring me directly to the hospital

in latvia

my parents arrived my father first

question

he asked me axel how you feeling do you

feel something

i looked my dad and i told him you know

dad i can’t feel my legs

i am paraplegic he looked at me

and told me you know axel this is your

grand prix

you have to win it this is a grand prix

of your life some of them make it

through you have to fight you cannot be

second

axel this is the fight of your life wow

i look at him and answer you know dad

you know me

i will do everything in my power to make

it through but i will fight until the

end

my mom was just next to him he took her

on the side because she was crying

my mechanic asked me i was i tell him

that my back hurt from the surgery plate

but i still don’t feel my legs

after three days i flew i flew back to

france

by private jets luckily i had a private

jets one time in my life

maybe the last and i am transferred

directly

in hospital in lille and the next

morning the surgeon comes in my room

with all the doctor to see me

he explained me the situation the detail

of my injury

and my first question was sample

i asked him doctor will i be able to

walk again in my life

his own word is simple as well he said

he said mr luther your spine cold

is badly body damaged we can’t know for

sure but one thing is crucial

is we have to do surgery again to

stabilize all the spine cold and

decompress your edema

an operation schedule in three days

three days later

they bring me at the medical block and i

i am on the bed ready to have another

intervention

i am so stressful after this operation

i am transfer in the rehabilitation

center basically

called les pois a center that i know

well

because i already went there four years

ago for ligament to my knee

when i arrived i have a completely new

room wheelchair accessible

i feel good i really feel comfortable

the doctor in charge of the

rehabilitation center comes in my room

with gail my future physiotherapist

both of them explained me the situation

and how it will go

after three days we start the recovery

with gail

and we are starting by a sample exercise

move from the wheelchair over the

therapy table

an easy exercise for you but very

difficult for a publishing person

without his habs

gail explained me how to do it it’s

tricky but after 10 times i find the way

that i found

i found a way to do it then we go on a

second exercise

this time gail asked me to sit up

against the back of the chair

she asked me to cross my arm and she

lowers the back of the chair

at this time i am thinking why does she

want me work sitting down

because i want to stand up quickly as

possible i want to walk again

but i don’t say anything because i tell

myself she has more experience than me

so i put my hands off the table and

there

i fall yeah i fall

i couldn’t even sit still without my ant

support can you imagine that

at this moment i thought wait axel you

won’t work again

you understand quickly as possible and

you cannot sit on this chair that’s

crazy

i saw i thought it’s going to be a very

very long way and you know

in your life if you want to target the

moon you have to target the star before

but you have to taking thing

step by step

marrow constriction i went through a

different stage

hoping despair still hoping

accepting the change in my new life

but one thing is sure is i woke up every

morning for one thing

to walk again my focus reduced only that

to work

again i was trying to instill deep down

subconsciousness this image to see me

stand standing up this image was for me

in my mind

like real real like i can’t touch it

real like i can feel it

i knew if i thought about it 24 hours

each day

and if i remain feastful to this montana

image

one day it was going to come true

of course i don’t think like hey today

i’m going to work again no

i used moment of relaxation moment of

summoners to work

mentally 80 of my recovery

has been mentally

as the week went by i see progress

i see that i am able to work more and

and after a few sessions gail

tells me okay excel from now we are

going to get you up

but this time not in the water but in

the real ground

i tell to gail okay but do you know that

i lost 80 percent of my muscles

but you all get me up between the bars

on the real ground

you’re crazy she said yes of course but

for that

we have to build special braces that

would hold

my feet in 90 degrees in order to be

able to balance

so i called the father of one of my

friends who is an autopotist

and we are trying to think about special

braces

he takes the molds the measurement and

after three weeks in bringing the braces

i try them and being careful do not have

any confusion

i go with my wheelchair front of the

parallel bar with gail

front of me in case if i fall down one

two three i’m going for it and puff i

can stand up

i can stand up with a lot of strength in

my arm

i can do it i can hold it and after a

few sessions i start to be able to work

my balance

between the bars and do small step and

then two

and then and make one-way trip

but after two years i’m not making

progress anymore

the doctor is starting to talk about my

release i can continue the

rehabilitation but this time

outside of the center we set up a date

for my release and at this time i ask

myself about the future

what next maybe go back to school

i’m just 20 years old our continuous

sports sport

is all my life i have always been a

sportsman

so i decide to join a disabled stream

club

to prepare my release because sometimes

the show can be quite brutal to be back

in the real world

i mean in the center we are always

pampered by the nurse

everyone has on the cap and as soon as

you have a problem

someone comes to help you so i joined

this club

where i go stream every saturday we are

now

three days before my release and that

time i tell myself

okay excel this time i want to stand up

but with the crutches

i have nothing to lose i asked gail if i

could

she talked about it to the doctor he

i go between the bars with gail always

safe behind me if i fall down

one two three i take the speed and here

we go

puff i can stand up i can stand up and i

feel that i could be autonomous with

that

so right away we ask the doctor to push

back marie’s date

he decides to push back the real date of

three months

three month later without the help of

gail

i managed to stand up alone with the

crutches

and to even work small step and then two

entry

and walking like 20 meters but you know

be careful when i say walking is like

walking like a robo

but i can do it you know and two years

ago when i arrived

lying on the bed at the center i said to

myself ok excel if you get out from this

down wheelchair it will be the most

beautiful victory in your life

as soon as i left the recovery

i love myself the first challenge

reach my parents car on the parking by

walking

about 50 meters and where they were like

okay excel we know you can walk go in

your wheelchair

don’t take any risk right now that you

finally get out of the center

but when i am on this path to get to the

car many things come to my mind

i realized that i have on the cab for my

entire life

i will have to adapt myself in any kind

of situation

and now that’s the big question

how to make sense in this new life

what will make me go out of the bed

every morning

what will be my life goal everyone have

a life goal big or small but if you

don’t have any life goal

why get out of the bed it doesn’t make

it doesn’t make sense

so first step find out if i can drive a

cow despite my disability

and now naturally when you search

something what are you doing you go on

google

so hi google can i drive a car with a

paraplegic on the cap

i see there is some special hand control

to drive a car

good news i will be able to go anywhere

by myself

then i tap handicap sports and i

discover an outlet who inspire me

enormously oscar pistorius

an outlet that you should know not by

his performance but for what he did

for his dude for rules don’t he killed

his wife

yeah very bad way but when i saw this

outlet make the final at the olympics

while his double amputee i tell myself

okay excel

despite my disability i can be a

champion again

despite what happened to me i can

rebuild myself

and when i was a kid i had also a dream

make the dark car with the motorbike the

rally the car

i don’t know if you know the rally the

car but the dakar is the hardest trolley

in the world more than ten thousand

kilometers in 15 days

more than eight hour racing per day in

extreme condition

as a normal person if you finish this

trailer it’s already amazing

so i said to myself okay excel motorbike

it’s over

but why not realize this dream not on

two-wheel but on four-wheel drive

with the car in 2018 i decided to set up

the project

hashtag you can 2020 a project that made

a lot of sense to me to prove

behind the impossible there is a

possible

demonstrate wherever you are personal

wheelchair

whether you are teenager um your ct or

ceo

manager we can all have a weak moment in

our life

but we can all find a way to boost back

the 17th january 2020

after 15-day racing and extremely

condition

we crossed the finish line of the dakar

i especially

i especially become the first disabled

person

in the world to win a category in a

dakar

with the normal person but today

this victory is not my most beautiful

victory in my life

today my most beautiful victory of my

life is that

after 10 years even if the doctor tells

me i will stay in a wheelchair for my

entire life

even if i lost 80 percent of my muscles

today i can walk again

with two crutches one two three

kilometers

and also with one coaches

today i am autonomous i can drive a car

i can ride a bike i can

ride a motorbike don’t tell that to my

mom i think she killed me

but anyway i can do a lot of different

activity but i have to adapt myself in

any kind of situation

now let’s talk about resilience

what i am trying to share on daily basis

is that life can be tough but generous

at the same time

i always trusted life and had faith in

myself

i learned resilience and resilience

taught me how to accept the situation

accepting the situation allowed me to

continue moving forward

instead of giving up in order to restore

meaning to my life and get back in the

motion

and to to be back in the motion uh

rather than stay at home but

be aware accepting has nothing to do

with giving up

in 10 years i will walk again

i won’t be disabled anymore you know you

normal person

tend to forget this simple real moment

of life

like just running dancing

jumping walking hand in hand you know

this happiness

don’t forget this happiness of life of

each of us

thank you