Breaking Down Apathy

later today you have lunch planned with

a friend

and your homework is already done do you

get out of bed

okay now imagine this last night you got

home super late

you had gotten into another argument

with your parent your friend

your work your boss you had said

something that hurt them

and you haven’t eaten since yesterday’s

breakfast

sleep your mind playing past mistakes on

loop

only to wake up with your alarm

screeching in your ear

you realize you only have 10 minutes

left before you have to leave and you’re

almost certainly going to be late

do you get up okay what

do you really have will staying in bed

make anything better

your class is still going to start your

workplace is still going to open

and the world is going to keep on

turning by choosing to stay in bed and

ignore it all you just take yourself out

of the picture

like most teenagers getting out of bed

is just the first challenge i face in a

day

then i’m off to school homework studying

i go to work

i have chores there’s friends to see and

i like to write or play the piano

after all teenagers are expected to have

a social life and extracurriculars

there’s pressure to perform well in

school to get into a good college

to get a steady job and have a stable

life

teenagers have to make big decisions

with only part of the information

and sometimes it can feel like every

decision we make can make or break the

rest of our lives

we have to find a balance between

expectations the future we want and the

lives we are currently leading

in my experience this workload is

overwhelming school has always been

a big priority for me giving 110 in

every class

but in the end school isn’t everything

and as i near adulthood i’m realizing

that this work ethic has made me

lose chances to discover and pursue my

interests

so now i do try to learn new things i’m

relearning the piano and learning how to

juggle and as i’m a very social person

i like to share the things i learn the

things i do and my opinions

sometimes people will scoff feeling the

need to weigh in with their judgment on

how i spend my time

the consequences of all of this has left

me anxious

and a perfectionist who sometimes feels

lost when she’s looking towards the

future

and i’m not the only one so many

teenagers feel the immense pressure to

perform while in school or fail

so many teenagers feel the judgment that

comes along with being a teenager

being inexperienced and a bit awkward

nobody wants to be

a disappointment but after failing to

meet expectations

over and over again sometimes we can

start to believe it

and stop caring the merriam-webster

defines apathy as one

a lack of a feeling or two a lack of

interest or concern

lots of teens turn to apathy as a

defense against the world if we don’t

care about something it can’t hurt us

how do we justify doing poorly in school

we don’t really care about our grades

the forests are on fire and there’s

nothing we can do about it

doesn’t matter to us did i say something

that hurt somebody i care about

it’s like i don’t care about anybody the

problem is

apathy takes so much more than it gives

it leaves you feeling empty

life becomes gray and there’s no point

in anything

no point taking care of ourselves no

point in helping others

the good news is apathy isn’t a natural

thing for people

to become emotionally numb we have to

lie to ourselves

we have to shove down our feelings and

pretend they aren’t there

so why do we do it and how do we escape

apathy those are the questions

because every person is different and

the causes of our apathy are too

so healing there’s no one good way to

heal

one of my friends experiences apathy as

a side effect of seasonal depression

when she’s overcome with this emptiness

she plays the guitar and sings

she goes to therapy to learn how to cope

and remain a functioning member

of society so when she feels up to it

she can go out with her friends and have

real fun

and she can almost enjoy doing her

homework

someone else i know used to insist the

world could burn for all they care

for years people told them they had to

do something they just weren’t

and so they shut down their grades were

dropping and their relationships with

others was deteriorating

and while things can still be rocky

they’re trying now

but they had to choose to ignore the

expectations

and just be themselves

for me apathy persists sometimes i wake

up

wishing i could just disappear and other

times i wake up

staring at my ceiling and trying and

failing to get up

there’s also of course the times when i

can spring right out of bed

when i am overcome with apathy

i try not to bully myself too much and

just let it happen

so when i do get up i can find the

people and things that remind me that

life is worth living

so healing is different for everybody

and

like i said before there is no one good

way to do it

but i have found that there are three

important shifts in internal dialogue we

can all make

that can make it a little bit easier

first

saying i am not trapped whenever we feel

stuck

or like our current situation is going

to go on forever

remember that life can change at any

moment and that while we can’t control

the external world

we do have control over the internal we

choose how we see the world and how we

react

second saying i am enough because it’s

true

even when you fail even when you don’t

meet other people’s expectations

you are enough third and finally

saying my life matters

when you feel too small or too

insignificant and you forget

the things you do and the things you say

impact other people

please remember that every day you

change the world just by being who you

are

so teenagers can make a difference we

can change the world

and maybe not the whole world right away

but certainly our corner of it

apathy will not protect us forever like

a straw hut it will fall down at the

slightest breeze of trouble

and then it just becomes an obstacle in

the way of becoming who we

want to be in the beginning

i gave you those scenarios and whether

the circumstances were ideal or terrible

it was still you choosing to get out of

bed

no matter what is happening no matter

what anybody says to you they can’t

change

they can’t change who you are and they

can’t make you stay in bed

thank you