Go the Distance Be a Life Enthusiast

[Music]

[Applause]

can you guys hear me well yeah

i’m feeling feeling pretty good okay

yeah cool you know what that means right

you hearing this in this moment means

that you are

existing you have an opportunity

that trillions of people do not have

do you wish to go the distance with it

to bring your life to the table

because i know for a fact i didn’t think

about being existing

i just so happen to be

so i want you to take a moment right now

to get into your body

welcome to tedx women here i am my name

is joy zavada

well legally lauren but essentially joy

but we’ll

we’ll get into that today i want to

share with you

my story my story of how

i got into my body to find my joy

and to become a life enthusiast you guys

ready for this

yes call me joy so you see this little

gal right here

right there that is me and if i were to

look at myself at that age and go up to

myself

and say hey one day you’re going to be

public speaking

and you’re going to be doing these races

and you’re going to be you know an

artist i would just look at myself

and walk away i wouldn’t believe it

and it’s because there’s messages that

were given to me from my childhood

that stopped me from believing in myself

and the value of what i had to bring to

this earth

so today i want to share this with you

there were a few lines that i was told

that really did hinder me from

being to where i’m at today but it but

in turn

what it did was make me who i am today

so

there was an experience in first grade

there’s something about putting my hand

out the window

as i was going home from the bus after a

day of school

it was just one of my favorite things to

do just to peer out the window and to

experience it

and if you guys know me today you always

see me with my head out the window

it’s just it’s a thing for me so here i

was as a young girl

struggling to get the window down and in

my mind i’m like

i just have to it’s like first day of

spring i just wanted to feel the fresh

air so what do i do

i i peep over and i look to the little

girl in front of me and i’m like hey

can you please help me put down my

window she ignores me

i’m like okay well persistence i’m gonna

try this again

excuse me can you please help me put

down my window

she ignores me again i’m like hot damn

okay i see you

so i try one more time excuse me

the boy sitting next to her turns around

and looks me in the face and he says

don’t you ever speak again

and punches me in the face

and as i laid back in defeat

with streams of scarlet going down my

face

that delivered a powerful message to me

do not speak if i

wanted something if i felt like i needed

help with something that meant that it

would cause me pain

so i changed schools you know it

happened just so happened to be i

already struggled with speaking as it is

i had a

pretty severe outer processing disorder

and i just it was already

that was already a thing so a few years

later

about two as i was in school

i went up to my teacher to grab a ball

at her feet

and as i went down and picked it up and

smiled at my teacher

she looked at me and she said you know

you would be way prettier if you never

smiled

in fact you would age better

so what did i do i believe that as truth

for my life

and you see the progression after that

of me believing that

my essence shouldn’t fill a room

this these messages specifically started

to take hold in my being i started to

believe that i should not

shine and this contributed to what i

would become in my teenage years

saying that your appearance will

determine the wellness of your life

that you are some of the messages like

you know you’re just

a girl i remember

feeling so defeated in my existence i

was 17 years old

i was sitting in this hallway and i was

i was facing a friend and it just so

happened to be

one of the longest nights of my life and

i was facing him and here we were in

this in this little hallway

and the sun was just coming up

and it was hitting the tops of the

houses and i exhaled the smoke out of my

lungs i looked at him

and i knew i knew that if i did not

leave this place in my existence i would

not be here today

and i felt something beyond me say

this is not the life i have for you

so i look to my friend who’s no longer

with us

and i i got in that car that day

and i i left and there was something

that that belief started trickling into

my body i’m like i have

nothing all my relationships are severed

i feel like i have nothing to attribute

to the world

all i knew how to do was run guys that’s

all i knew how to do so i started

running

i would run 8 to 15 miles a day that’s

all i had that i felt like i could do

and then something started changing for

me

getting in my body something changed

it started changing the way that i

thought about my life

it started changing my voice i started

using my voice in a way that i hadn’t

before

and what did that lead to for me

well i ended up meeting someone

and that person actually got me into out

of

my metron into something new that i’ve

never experienced in my life

i started rapping and making music and

going out to new york city i was still

in high school

i’m a scranton native so just being out

there and experiencing the world from a

different way

i was told my whole existence

that the only way that i’d have

something to contribute to this world

is through higher education and this to

me didn’t feel right it didn’t feel

authentic for me

but i still went along with it but as i

continued

to use my voice and get empowered in my

body i recognized that there was

something more that i was longing for

than just myself

i was looking for my community

there was one day that i was a freshman

in college

and it was a tough day for me i was like

wow i don’t know why i’m in school i was

just told i should be in school

but here i am i’m here and i was in this

coffee house i just wanted to be outside

of myself

and there’s this girl sitting in the

corner

right over there taking photos hi baby

um she looks at me

and she says hey

i like your boots i’m like

hey i like your outfit so we start

talking

and she looks at me and she asks

what is your vision and i was like

finally someone that’s like interested

in this stuff okay what’s my vision

we sit down we talk and immediately that

day we realize that we’re meant to be in

each other’s lives

a week later what do i do but i’m

involved with him in a

coffee shop ministry i’m doing what i

feel passionate about

i start seeing that this is what i have

to offer and to bring to the world

it’s not about me i’ve never even

thought to be existing i just so happen

to be and

what i was actually looking for was

community of people

that wanted to live the same way that i

did

so when you find your people you find

your purpose

but first you have to bring it back to

yourself

because i didn’t know that until i got

into my body and i recognized this

you are unique no one has your body is

only you that gets to live inside of

your existence

you like to watch movies right

make your life a movie why not like this

is your story

no one else gets to live in your skin

but you

but you know having your body and voice

using that is power

it’s powerful my friend looking at me

and saying

hey i like your boots

change my existence she used what she

owned that day

people using what they own will change

an environment

and cultivate a culture you i look to

the people

to that guy that that boy that punched

me in the face

and i recognized that that was

generational

someone looked at him and said you do

not speak you should not speak and

sealed it with a punch to the face these

things that we’re dealing with

are generational and we have an

opportunity

to do the work that our ancestors didn’t

have the strength to do

we get to mend the bridges that have

been burned and recognized that

we are all the same

there’s no manual on how to live life

the best way we’re all just trying to

figure this thing out i just so happen

to pop out of a womb

one day i mean thanks here we all are

as people existing

that’s pretty cool so history calls upon

us to be authentically who we

are because only us doing that

can we step into what we have to bring

to our community

you look to an ecosystem and i’m pretty

sure

precipitation doesn’t look to

evaporation it’s like oh i’m jealous of

you i wish i could be you

they all have unique parts to bring to

the table that only they can do

now as i was experiencing this as truth

for my life

there was something that happened when i

was around my people

and it tested me because it was during

this time

that i ended up in the grips of an

abusive relationship

so as i was doing the work to start

healing

and seeing that this is what is right

for me

life went like this to test if i

actually believe that as truth

so as i got dragged out of that house

and thrown into the car and transported

to

the places that i was before

it took some time for me to fight for

myself

and those states of desperation

i grappled on to hope for something that

i had value to bring so i ended up going

back to school

and i got an internship and you know i

was doing this thing but it didn’t feel

right to me or just kind of

out of a need of necessity to feel like

i’m alive as a human being

because my body was no longer my own my

voice was suppressed and i no longer had

my people

but then one day

i finally had the strength to get out of

that relationship

and i finally had the strength to go see

my friends which

was traumatic to think about seeing my

friends

i would get told that if i were to see

them

that terrible things would happen so i

finally have the strength to go

and be around my people and as i go to

them they

welcome me with open arms

and when i tell them what had just

happened in my life

they look at me and they’re like well we

need to go on an adventure

i’m like you’re damn right please i need

an adventure let’s do it

so what do you know they buy me tickets

to go to texas

and as i’m on the plane and i i land at

the terminal i am

i’m a norm with the people that i call

my family

and as i look up in the sky i see

hundreds of thousands of white

butterflies overhead

and my dear friend my dear friend

she turns to me and she says

i feel like you are joy

and in that moment

i said i am joy call me joy

i am joy so what does it mean

to accept joy for your life

joy is not determined by circumstance

it is something that transcends

finding joy is to embrace

and endure suffering because there is

something greater

beyond that for your life

so what do i wish to share with you guys

yeah see

that’s the photo from this is from that

trip guys

this was one of the shots that justine

took of me

that day and you could see

that there was a freedom that was found

in my being that i was finally

starting to follow my authentic self

and it’s hard it’s not an easy path

to go through your life and be like what

have been all the things that people

have said to me that stuck to me that

actually aren’t

truth for my existence if you do not do

that work

those things will be passed through your

life

so we have a unique opportunity guys

that trillions of people do not have

that trillions have lost we get the

opportunity to shape history

to change the world

just by being who we are

being a life enthusiast means to embrace

your humanity

no one has it figured out we’re all just

trying to figure it out

we’re all existing in this plane of

existence

the best thing you can do

is to use your body and voice to be kind

to others

to open space

and to care so i want to say thank you

for making space for me today

to share with you thank you

for choosing to be here in this moment

and i’m excited for you for what you

will do for the world in this community

because we need you and that is why

you’re existing you are needed in this

world

i want to say thank you thank you

[Applause]