How I made obstacles the fuel of my life

i grew up in a beautiful fantastic

island with white sand and crystal water

and that island is sardinia after the

pandemic

as soon as you can go you should

definitely book a trip for yourself

for 18 years i never left the island

yet i was dreaming about crossing the

sea visiting the world

and discovering all the beauty of all

the cities

fast forward is 2021 i

live in another beautiful island at this

time a little bit more far away from

sardinia

and is the island of manhattan in new

york city

i’m in my 12th year at google i’m very

happy and satisfied with my job

which has been quite a treat and i’m

enjoying my life

in this beautiful space how on earth

did i get here so let’s start from the

very beginning

i spent my past 38 years of life

chasing my dreams overcoming my

obstacles while flirting with time i’m

here today

because i’d love to share with you my

learnings as i went through all of them

in my life

and not because i believe my obstacles

are unique to me

even though i think i’ve had a very good

share of them

to be here with you today but because i

believe

that my way of approaching them could be

an inspiration to all of you

and i hope that you will walk away

energized by my five ways

to utmost happiness so

let’s begin this journey i would like

you to come with me

back in time to 1988

when i was a little girl six years old

with short boyish hair

by the way my mom used to keep them that

way so that she could treat lies

more easily so i’m in school

and my favorite teacher cecilia is

asking

that question to all the kids what do

you want to be when you grow up

me without hesitation i raise my hand

and i say

i want to be a leader in a large

corporation

now what did i know about large

corporation at six years old in a little

town in sardinia

it’s still a mystery to me but little

did i know

that i was already learning a very big

life lesson which was to dream big

to have a vision even if that vision

seems impossible to you

and let’s go back to my life for a

minute

my teenage years were quite interesting

i was bullied at school almost every day

for not looking as pretty as the other

girls and for my

religious upbringing as i grew up in a

very strict geova witness community

i could not celebrate birthdays i could

not celebrate christmas

parties and sleepovers all of that was

out of sight

and even if i was attempting to do any

of these things

i would be reported to my mom and i

would then get finished

eventually head home i had my good fear

of challenges as well

my parents were fighting every day

because of the religious differences

they were treating each other with

divorce every day

and i remember having nightmares of

waking up

in the morning and seeing my father

walking away leaving us alone

now i knew back then that my environment

was not normal water falling from the

ceiling every winter cute little rats

visiting us every summer you know

i still enjoy seeing the rats in the

street of manhattan

but right now from my apartment i have

to say

and while i was thinking how could i

escape that environment

my only survival were my books

i remember just spending my afternoon

studying and reading

literature history dante was my favorite

friend

so while i was plotting my liberation

the only way that i could think about

planning things

was about doing any possible job in

summer to raise

some money to cross that sea selling ice

cream

under the burning sum in fantastic

sardinia locations or cleaning

apartments all over

just to make a little money to pay for

my trip

to italy the best news of my life

back then arrived when i was 18 years

old

the day that the college of applied sent

me a letter

that i was accepted and that they were

offering me a scholarship

just to study there in that moment

i could see the light at the end of the

tunnel

and i still remember vividly the night

that with my mom

we boarded that ferry from albia to

genoa

to cross that sea by the way we wish we

could have done it with a flight but

flight were way too expensive

back then after those

super long 15 hours of navigation and

you know train and buses and everything

we arrived in milan

and i still remember that day as being

a horrible horrible day for the rest of

the humanity

especially for america for new york and

for all those families and people

that day that i called my second

birthday

was the 9 11.

and life truly came full circle because

now

is only few block from my place

but let’s go back to that night when i

arrived in milan

and i knew that was one more thing that

i needed to close

before i could be totally happy which

was cutting my dead ends

so i had to tell to my mom that i’ve

been lying all those years

and that my only plan since the very

beginning was to escape and go to milan

to study for college

so i took the courage in my hand and

i faced her and i told her that i was

quitting

that i had enough that i wanted to just

live my life and being like any other

person

enjoying all the things that you could

discover

for her this was the most

you know dreadful news that she could

hear

she didn’t speak to me for a year when i

quit

but it was the only way for me to

finally get relief

and really be happy and enjoy my life

eventually i graduated going through

another fair share of challenges which

include

being threatened of murder from your

best friend

having to escape your apartment in the

middle of the night

um be technically homeless for two weeks

um

doing any sort of job you know to have

some money to enjoy

a pretty close and anything but the

moment and that day

that i finally at that paper you know

that i

completed my five years of college i

still remember a big sense of

accomplishment for achieving that dream

and you know when i found my first job i

thought that that was

it you know i was like i’m done i’m

happy i can settle

i found a good-looking boyfriend which

is now my husband and i said

no more obstacles for me no more

challenges

but little did i know again that life

had other plans

for me at one point i even

thought that those challenges were sent

on purpose

so that i could strengthen myself be

stronger

and somehow i was using those obstacles

as a fuel

to keep going and it was kind of a game

the more i could get through

the stronger would i get and i thought

maybe those are gifts in disguise

you know so you might be wondering

what other gifts life brought me

one day i received an amazing call from

an irish recruiter

i remember being terrified by the

interview because i said my english is

crap they’re going to never hire me

and then there i was one month later

boarding a flight

to dublin the day i landed in the city i

still remember

was pouring rain i was alone i couldn’t

understand

a word from the taxi driver and

[Music]

even if all of that was going on i could

feel that life was bringing something so

joyful to me

i was literally like a kid in a candy

shop

i was experiencing all these new friends

i was enjoying my work

up and down you know the country and i

thought that i was done again

i said this is happiness nothing else is

going to happen

until one day was 2011

and my mom is calling me uh luckily

she was talking to me again after all

these years and

she had forgot about me uh doing that to

her

and casually on the phone she’s like you

know i’m here at the hospital i’m doing

some checkups et cetera and by the way i

have cancer

and then i’m like whoa i never thought

about my

mom honestly being ill because to me

she was invincible she could do whatever

she wanted

you know she was always up and down

again and doing amazing jobs

but then here she was telling me that

awful news and i was okay what am i

gonna do now

so we started the journey you know um

over illness endless visits

uh treatments trying to find a way to

see

if it was possible to you know survive

and then one day we were in my living

room and she’s like nadia i want you to

know something

and i was like mom telling me and she

said well

i want you to know i’m gonna start

turning yellow

and i said what do you mean by turning

yellow she’s like well you know

the type of concert i have i will be

yellow very

soon uh and she was like that she was

brutally honest

very direct either you loved her either

you hated her

and she did turn yellow in the end

and few months later after that you know

conversation um she passed away she was

51

and once again i was faced with an

honorable reality

uh of preparing your body for a funeral

uh finding a way to dispose of her

hashes you know

following your dreams and dealing with

any sort of family disgrace

two weeks after that event

i accepted to relocate to paris life was

teaching me again

another very big lesson um when it’s

time to

heal and grieve do take that time

but when it’s time to pursue your dreams

you just need to get

going and push through to make them

happen

now is there more to my life oh you bet

were there more obstacles more

challenges

there were so many more things that i’m

deciding to write a book about

it honestly including one that is

above all of us these days a global

pandemic

last year when i got the american role i

was about to give up

the embassies were closing i couldn’t

get a visa

it felt that i couldn’t make it uh

the travel ban and all of it and i was

like this is it i’m done

and then my six years old self came back

to me and she said well

nadia you don’t give up you take your

greet you take your perseverance and

you’ll make it

and here i am telling you you know this

story from my apartment in battery park

in new york now you might have had a

life

that is totally different than mine you

might have had

many more more dreadful obstacles

you might have had less obstacles and

everything was

you know done and done but what can be

the same in every situation is the grit

and the energy and the tactics that you

line up to pursue your dreams

so i want to uh conclude my talk today

in sharing my five ways my five

learnings

to really change your dreams

so number one dream big

and when you think that big is enough

dream bigger

have a vision uh make those you know

things uh even the most impossible real

in your head

because it’s in that moment that you’ll

see the possibilities

and number two uh accept the obstacles

that you’re given for what they are

you know sometimes they can be gifts in

disguise

and only after you’re gonna find out

number three cut the dead ends so

do yourself this very big favor even if

his friends

relatives whomever free yourself

from the toxicity so that you can go

after your dreams uh being your best

self and once you’re done number four

surround yourself only with people that

lift you up

people that believe in you people that

give you energy

and strength to go through your life so

that you can

be happy and number five be mindful of

time

you know sometimes we think that time is

too slow sometimes we think the time is

too fast

but the real time is now so be present

in your days

and be mindful that when you need to

catch your dreams

you do need to go fast now

how can you earn your time what are some

of the things that you could be doing

today

for example you could catch a piece of

paper and write down something that you

really want to do

write it down now that is going to be

your catalyst

it’s going to be your way to turbocharge

your future

and it’s going to be your way to finally

own your time

today tomorrow and trust me

forever so thank you