Life is funny if youre willing to laugh

the santa roo makes some noise

men make some noise women make some

noise

all the agendas make some noise

it’s good in it it’s fun men make noise

like women

there’s always one always one who’s like

i’ve had it took for weeks shed i’m

ready for this

women make noise like men what sort of

men are you sleeping with that’s

it’s a weird one i’ll be honest guys i

have no idea what i’m doing up here uh

guys from my council of state

barely talk to frank let alone do ted

talks so i’ve got 15 minutes and three

jerks i hope you laughers

joke one i’m trying to lose some weight

so i recently downloaded a jogging app

where you run five kilometers but it’s

not working because every time i run

i end up at a burger king turns out i

downloaded couch to be

care it’s a joke

joke two i recently wrote on facebook

wrestlemania soon any predictions and

someone commented you’ll never have sex

i’ve since then had to delete my mum off

facebook

i just don’t need that negativity in my

life

joke three how can when people without

stigmatism wear glasses it’s fashion

but if i go around in a wheelchair it’s

benefit fraud

that’s it that’s three jerks we’ve got

15 minutes oh god this time left

all right well let’s talk about it i’ll

be honest guys i don’t know how to do a

ted talk without trying to be funny

heck i don’t know how to live without

trying to be funny i have spent the last

10 years trying to be a stand-up

comedian right

i have literally got on stage for the

last 10 years

and told jokes and sometimes it’s gone

well and people

have laughed sometimes i’ve got on stage

told jokes

it’s gone badly and i’ve ruined

granddad’s funeral

it’s not a great place to be right

i learned to be funny at a young age

right for me comedy

is a tool to deflect right i grew up in

a

council estate in a rough area in hull

right and it’s a

it’s a first-class poor council estate

and by that i mean

the best way to sum it up is christmas

these households would have 200 pounds

worth of christmas lights on the outside

but have three pound on the electric

meter you know i mean we’d have some

magical christmases

like whatever you want it’d be bikes

xboxes games consoles trainers

kids on our council states would get

them however february was shipped when

brighton took it all back

congratulations if you don’t get that

bright house reference you’re not poor

that’s how that jerk works right and

growing up in this environment people

fighted for what they wanted

and growing up as a fat nerdy kid i had

to learn to look after myself

and i’m not a lot i’m not a fighter or a

lover sorry ladies uh

so i had to learn to be someone else i

had to learn to be funny i used comedy

as a

deflective technique because let’s be

honest you can’t bully the fat kid

who’s got better fat jerks and is

somehow shagging your mama

just doesn’t happen that way right and

i’ve always

thought this i thought this for such a

long time growing up that comedy is a

defense mechanism

and it wasn’t until something happened

about three years ago

i went to visit my auntie who was dying

and we was in hospital

and i knew she was dying she knew she

was dying and i didn’t know what to say

because i don’t know how to say anything

without trying to make it funny

so i just went to her so what have you

been up to and she went

working through my bucket list i was

like brilliant what have you been up to

and she went i just went to see the

second 50 shades of grey movie

with your mum and that voice

in my head that girl she shouldn’t say

this went yeah say it

i went that’s a terrible choice that’s a

trilogy you’re never going to see how it

ends

do you know what happened she laughed

but it was a good laugh

do you know that left where you go i

should not have laughed at that and then

proceeded to laugh more she told me

jerks back she was like hey

i’m dying you should have a cancer pass

and i was like what’s that mean she’s

like

just use it as an excuse to have a day

off work and go enjoy yourself

it was beautiful right it was beautiful

and i hold these cherry memories close

and that’s made me realize that i have

been using comedy as a defense mechanism

when it’s not you know what it is it’s a

key

it lets people in my heart i told a joke

she laughed

we shared a beautiful moment and i was

like i can’t be the only person that do

does this i’m not there is a whole

generation of us talking about things

and joking about things we shouldn’t you

only have to go on the internet to see

this you only have to go on twitter

on facebook on reddit basically we’re

sharing memes the millennial generation

is sharing memes

we are the generation that go hey where

do you see yourself in 10 years

hopefully dead right and we’re not

saying it

to be macabre or sad we’re saying it

because we want change

and we want to make our voices heard

right we are a generation that has been

labeled as lazy

uh as self-centered and as narcissistic

and i am here at a ted talk

with a microphone that i don’t have to

hold

to tell you that’s not true jed

salisbury

it’s not we’re not a lazy generation

what we are we’re a different generation

we’re we’re we’re confident we’re we’re

forgiven we are

careless we are we are faulted we are we

are

exci actually uh actually we’re not da

cause

most millennials i know aren’t confident

and they aren’t accepting of other

people well they are on the most but

most millennials i know have anxiety and

think the stories are

so it doesn’t quite balance out

all right and where where where did we

get this sense of humor from like where

have we decided that you know these

jokes is how we’re going to deal with

the situation

uh is it is it did we look at the

results of how the climate

is currently dying everything’s going to

did we turn on tv and go this is

awful

yeah we did uh and to quote a millennial

icon

from arrested development tobias

i don’t want to blame it all on 9 11 but

it certainly didn’t help

right because when you think about it we

grew up in a world

where we have seen nothing but the lack

for nothing but

since we live in a post-9 11 world where

we’ve seen war

terrorism on the rise austerity the rich

are getting richer the poor are getting

poorer

and we get our young and what have we

done with it we’ve decided to joke

because at this time when all this was

happening the only silver lining we had

in this confusing time as mass media

lied to us

was that nickelodeon was pretty dope

like to this day i can’t tell you

if the wars in afghanistan or iraq are

just

but i can tell you who loves orange soda

all right and we’re not doing we’re not

we’re not doing these jokes

to make people feel awkward or ashamed

what we’re doing

is we’re talking about our depression

we’re joking about it

where we’re tweeting about it because we

are getting a sense of community

we are saying hey man i’m depressed

you’re depressed let’s have a good time

with it

because when you’re not having a good

time with it it means you’re not talking

about it

and if you’re not talking about it

that’s when it becomes a problem right

and it’s not all doom and gloom honestly

you don’t have like the the millennial

comedy comes from

certain things it’s absurdity it’s

whimsical and it’s self-deprecating

you’ve heard all that tonight right and

it’s fun to have

because who doesn’t want to be

self-deprecating at times because if

you’re owning it

that means no one else can fire it at

you if you’re being absurd

good it means you’re getting you the

attention you want millennial right

it’s brilliant right so i’m gonna teach

you

some things because it’s not all doing

we’re not all doing this oh i’m

depressed and sad there’s some fun

things you can do in life do you want to

hear some fun things

yeah when you order a coffee and they

hand it over say thanks a lot eh

when you’re at a bar or getting on the

bus and the driver’s like single

go you asking

when you’re on the phone to your friends

and they’re like all right i’m going now

go okay bye love you

and don’t hang up because we have

learned something

massively fragility just breaks and they

have to go

love you too so what i’m saying is let’s

not ostracize people from making jokes

right let’s embrace it let’s get on

board let’s do them retweets

uh ladies and gentlemen uh i’ve been jed

salisbury love you

have a good day see you later

you