LIFE SKILLS PRACTICE AND APPLICATIONS

dear lovable friends hope you stay fine

with my 25 years experience in the field

of psychology today i thought of talk to

you on the topic life skills what is

meant by skill if i am giving you a new

piece of information that will be a

knowledge for you

where you can use that knowledge

when somebody will be asking you

about that or when you find somebody who

is not

aware of all those things but the skill

is different skill is a capacity or

ability that we acquire like you learn

how to swim

how to drive a vehicle there was a time

you may be sitting in the bank of a pond

putting your leg in the cold water and

feel the coldness and feel like how nice

if i can sleep but for swimming you just

have to jump into water somebody should

be there to help you support you and

make a practice and a day will come when

you will be swimming without the support

of anybody that is skill the skill is

something like a capacity

where the cognitive capacity will be

like a learning in the brain and about

life

life is something very difficult to

define and i

i’m not able to do that but still just

think

where were you

before

taking birth into this world where will

you go

after your death

studies say that

the elements that is there in the body

that is already there in this earth

and this is just like a state

and in the organism we are receiving

certain kind of a duration

so what is life skill

life skill is something related and we

began to think about life skill

when w ho was being concerned about the

increased number of hiv positive cases

in youngsters

and there was more statistics related

with aids related death

like that studies were conducted

worldwide and it was found that if we

have certain kinds kinds of abilities

we can withstand

the peer pressure which will be leading

to this kind of unhealthy conditions the

study is extended it was found that if

you acquire life skills that will be

very helpful for us in our personal and

professional life

so

there comes the core life skills

and today i am talking about that

when we think about

people that you know

sometimes we feel that how they are

behaving like this they are educated but

in behavior something

like it’s not as expected like now

suppose you talk to a fifth standard boy

we will get astonished to see that what

all things they know they’ll thought

about plants animals maybe food chain

and we’ll talk about organization and

we’ll say that i have done projects i

have i am doing a

seminar and things like that but even

when you reach up to the post doctor

level nobody will be asking you what

kind of a person you are

which means that it is very difficult

for us to look into oneself and see

what kind of a person we are

we think about life we can see that life

is impossible for human beings without

the support of science

just to cut an umbilical cord we are in

need of a blade at least

which was a raw material in the earth

and that happens to become a weapon

or a kind of supporting system

when that happens to go through human

intelligence through number of people

when we think about being independent

understand the fact that that is

something

impossible for us we just have to

understand the need for culture the need

for togetherness then only human beings

can just live and move on

just to understand these kinds of things

we understand what we are

it is very difficult to look at oneself

and see what strength we have what our

limitations we have how we can

understand the social surroundings and

utilize our capacities over there that

is why who called this skill as a mother

skill when we have self-awareness that

help us to develop into many other kinds

of skills

suppose

some of your friends or colleagues talk

about their issue

you are such a nice fellow so that what

you think is okay i can console them

i can advise them i just have heard

about certain things so that i can

narrate certain things so that’s why i

has to extend them to life

of course those kinds of things are very

good

but suppose you have a pain in your

stomach

occasionally it is coming it is

disturbing you

what will you decide

you will decide to go to an expert

where you are in need of the highest

level of technology you need a

scientific diagnosis you need a painless

treatment is it what you intend for

what happens when you put yourself into

that position the things are changing

that is another kind of very important

social skill which can be called as

empathy it is very difficult for us to

put ourselves into the true of others

but when that comes things are different

while talking about empathy today during

one through what’s happened all

you might have heard about number of

narrations and

advices related with empathy development

studies also they say that empathy is

not a kind not a kind of skill which has

to be flourished in a very high level

and see that that is very wonderful no

over empathy response also will be

harmful for us

and studies also say that functional mri

study says that our brain has got a

system which is quite differently

working other than empathy and lead to

theory of mind which means that

we can

do certain kinds of support kind of

extension

when theory of mind has to be developed

so even when you talk about empathy it

has to be understood scientifically too

okay are you listening me

yeah you just do as i say you just raise

your right hand

wave like this okay keep your hands

straight now fold your small finger

ring finger middle finger and thumb only

for your finger pointing upwards okay

bring your hands down and touch your

chin see how many of you are touching

your sin

you are touching your cheek right okay

even when we are communicating even when

you are listening see

especially teachers and parents have to

listen to the fact that you know people

will be reading not simply our words

we are communicating in a number of ways

so that communicating effectively that

is the another kind of life skill

many a time when we deal with analysis

of cases related sexual harassment and

all we could find that it is not a

stranger or a sudden coming to the

person and doing that kind of harassment

it might have started even very earlier

the victim is not communicating thing

effectively it’s not simply lack of

communication capacity it is not

communicating effectively and there

comes the importance of assertive style

of communication or different varieties

of communication and told and many of

you know that you know assertive

communication is something if you have

an answer the communication also should

be

really bringing it out that kind of

content itself so some people say that

saying no is assertiveness but it is not

saying no to your duties saying no to

your responsibilities when somebody is

violating your right

then you have to say no and people you

also used to ask is this the only way to

communicate no there are different

styles of communication like aggressive

communication passive style of

communication is that something needed

very much needed when the nature create

anger that is highly needed for us anger

help us to self-protect anger help us to

fight against certain injustice there

are situation where we have to pass you

sometimes we have to obey because that

will be our responsibilities and duties

that will be the need of the hour

sometimes we will be taking into

consideration the relationship as more

important so that we may not be

asserting ourselves so things are

different we should be able to

understand different styles of

communication and selecting accordingly

okay you may have a favorite teacher

why do you like that teacher the most

people

do not say it is because of the subject

expertise alone they say that the

teacher has got a general kind of

behavior she or he approaches me very

nicely she just look into my eyes

and i know that you know some kind of

warmth is coming things like that that

is nothing but interpersonal

relationship skill that is highly needed

for

for the social beings and extending our

social responsibility we feel that we

have interpersonal relationship skill

but there are so many kinds of social

expert that will be influencing us just

like of gender discrimination some

stereotype that will be there in our

life we feel that

certain kinds of others

so-called others cannot come closer to

us to what extent they can come

sometimes even because of the religious

beliefs we are detached by from many

parts of the society many groups of the

society that affects our

kind of secularism and social behavior

when i come to the thinking skill that

also is very wonderful uh thinking

critically and creatively how far we are

jumping into decision that is is that

increasing our complexities in life

of course the life will be a series of

failures and conflicts sometimes we feel

that we just have to escape from

conflicts do conflicts have any benefits

of course it has benefits it has

benefits in the personal familial and

organizational context when there will

be conflict conflicts we can understand

the fact that the party is engaged or

the participant has equal rights to open

up their opinion and come to certain

kinds of negotiations only when the

conflicts are continuing we are think

about certain kinds of other

interventions or else even in

organization when we think critically

the conflicts will be bringing us to

certain kinds of negotiations strategies

and plans which has to be continued in

the further development so thinking

critically is highly needed and that has

to be a quality or a capacity for

children and adolescents so as to face

their crisis in the life and but when we

think about creativity people used to

say that oh that person is dancing oh

and another person is singing very well

and he is also painting very well but i

don’t have that kind of creativity see

critical thinking is something different

if you think out of box if you have a

new unique style if you are becoming

individualistic that shows you are

create having creative thinking capacity

and studies say that almost everybody

has creative thinking capacity we just

have to identify that facilitate and

come to euron’s style of expressions

about decision making and problem

solving

that has to be

developed like a skill from childhood

onwards if we are getting an opportunity

to engage in family budgeting

considering certain kinds of issues

facing certain issues that will work

like a behavioral vaccine like that that

will be there in our character and can

be utilized whenever necessary so only

when we are encountering with the

situation these kinds of skills can be

developed

and still another group of skills are

called as coping skills or management

skills

so that we can deal with the crisis deal

with the difficulties deal with the

different kinds of encounters easily

when these skills are being developed

those are coping with emotions and

coping with stress

how we get different kinds of emotions

the emotions has got a biological basis

it has got a hormonal basis and we have

no control over it so how can we control

our emotion is it something possible

the expression of emotions can be

controlled it can be learned the teacher

may be having so much so much aggression

and will be just like

crushing the baby but will be saying

that oh come on why don’t you do like

that because the situation demands that

the job situation demands that even when

we are in the organizational setup when

we are working what happens is

the situation demands certain kinds of

control of our emotions and this is just

like we are doing an emotional labor we

are getting salary for controlling our

emotions too and that is highly needed

in the social interactions about stress

what is stress if you feel that your

resources are not enough to face certain

situation that leads to certain kinds of

imbalances certain changes in the

homeostasis that is called as stress and

stress will be having a number of causes

it can be biological physical or

psychological your guilt may be working

or it can even be social so study says

that this is quite inevitable we cannot

just escape from stress so stress have

to be managed we are not thinking about

eradication of stress but management of

stress isn’t it so how can we manage

stress of course when a stress is there

the course has to be identified and just

see whether cause can be addressed or

not

that is the first thing we have to do

and there are two ways of stress

management it is called as problem

focused approach an emotion focused

approach

a mother who identified that her baby is

hearing impaired she is highly depressed

she thought about a suicide but after

some encounters she says that oh i

thought that

this baby is from god

god might have thought that why this

lady has to be selected as the mother

god has a purpose

he might have seen some kind of

qualities in me that is by that is why

this baby is given to me

so the thinking differs

the management differs nothing is going

to happen for the situation but the way

the person thinks the cognitive

restructuring will be working so as to

face the situation in a better way

so sometimes it can be emotion based

management but many a time we can also

think about a problem focused method

where the reason has to be found out the

reason has to be addressed the reason

can be sometimes your ageism the reason

can be sometimes your perfectionism the

reason can be certain kind of gender

bias that you carry you identify that

and try to address in some way or the

other that has to be the mechanism why

you are talking about a yoga or a stress

management technique like relaxation or

meditation

is that the technique that we have to

use

when i think about public in general i

never support these kinds of system that

can be done by an affluent society very

well but you think about the society in

general people are there working in the

agricultural sector or in the

construction structure or they they are

running for their daily wages or they

are laborers do you think that these

kinds of techniques can be done

the people will be having their own

personal style of dealing with stress

some people say that i’ll just sit and

relax for some time i’ll just drink a

coffee i’ll just go for walk i’ll just

move away from the situation i will call

my favorite friend i’ll be sometimes

going to beach and just watching the

waves for some time

all these are different styles of stress

management people select for they

themselves very personally so these are

the techniques that will be working

wonderfully if you find a person

having high stress and their daily life

is highly affected out of it

you just refer that person for a

professional support of course therapies

are available for which stress

management can be addressed

at the same time when we talk about all

these different kind of skills

don’t think that this is the kind of

skills which will be leading us to

victory and will be encountering with

competitions and things like that when

we think about application of these

skills understand that this is becoming

applicable only in a social context your

attitude is important as our social

responsibility is important how we are

socially aware is important then only

the skills will become meaningful