LIFE SKILLS PRACTICE AND APPLICATIONS
dear lovable friends hope you stay fine
with my 25 years experience in the field
of psychology today i thought of talk to
you on the topic life skills what is
meant by skill if i am giving you a new
piece of information that will be a
knowledge for you
where you can use that knowledge
when somebody will be asking you
about that or when you find somebody who
is not
aware of all those things but the skill
is different skill is a capacity or
ability that we acquire like you learn
how to swim
how to drive a vehicle there was a time
you may be sitting in the bank of a pond
putting your leg in the cold water and
feel the coldness and feel like how nice
if i can sleep but for swimming you just
have to jump into water somebody should
be there to help you support you and
make a practice and a day will come when
you will be swimming without the support
of anybody that is skill the skill is
something like a capacity
where the cognitive capacity will be
like a learning in the brain and about
life
life is something very difficult to
define and i
i’m not able to do that but still just
think
where were you
before
taking birth into this world where will
you go
after your death
studies say that
the elements that is there in the body
that is already there in this earth
and this is just like a state
and in the organism we are receiving
certain kind of a duration
so what is life skill
life skill is something related and we
began to think about life skill
when w ho was being concerned about the
increased number of hiv positive cases
in youngsters
and there was more statistics related
with aids related death
like that studies were conducted
worldwide and it was found that if we
have certain kinds kinds of abilities
we can withstand
the peer pressure which will be leading
to this kind of unhealthy conditions the
study is extended it was found that if
you acquire life skills that will be
very helpful for us in our personal and
professional life
so
there comes the core life skills
and today i am talking about that
when we think about
people that you know
sometimes we feel that how they are
behaving like this they are educated but
in behavior something
like it’s not as expected like now
suppose you talk to a fifth standard boy
we will get astonished to see that what
all things they know they’ll thought
about plants animals maybe food chain
and we’ll talk about organization and
we’ll say that i have done projects i
have i am doing a
seminar and things like that but even
when you reach up to the post doctor
level nobody will be asking you what
kind of a person you are
which means that it is very difficult
for us to look into oneself and see
what kind of a person we are
we think about life we can see that life
is impossible for human beings without
the support of science
just to cut an umbilical cord we are in
need of a blade at least
which was a raw material in the earth
and that happens to become a weapon
or a kind of supporting system
when that happens to go through human
intelligence through number of people
when we think about being independent
understand the fact that that is
something
impossible for us we just have to
understand the need for culture the need
for togetherness then only human beings
can just live and move on
just to understand these kinds of things
we understand what we are
it is very difficult to look at oneself
and see what strength we have what our
limitations we have how we can
understand the social surroundings and
utilize our capacities over there that
is why who called this skill as a mother
skill when we have self-awareness that
help us to develop into many other kinds
of skills
suppose
some of your friends or colleagues talk
about their issue
you are such a nice fellow so that what
you think is okay i can console them
i can advise them i just have heard
about certain things so that i can
narrate certain things so that’s why i
has to extend them to life
of course those kinds of things are very
good
but suppose you have a pain in your
stomach
occasionally it is coming it is
disturbing you
what will you decide
you will decide to go to an expert
where you are in need of the highest
level of technology you need a
scientific diagnosis you need a painless
treatment is it what you intend for
what happens when you put yourself into
that position the things are changing
that is another kind of very important
social skill which can be called as
empathy it is very difficult for us to
put ourselves into the true of others
but when that comes things are different
while talking about empathy today during
one through what’s happened all
you might have heard about number of
narrations and
advices related with empathy development
studies also they say that empathy is
not a kind not a kind of skill which has
to be flourished in a very high level
and see that that is very wonderful no
over empathy response also will be
harmful for us
and studies also say that functional mri
study says that our brain has got a
system which is quite differently
working other than empathy and lead to
theory of mind which means that
we can
do certain kinds of support kind of
extension
when theory of mind has to be developed
so even when you talk about empathy it
has to be understood scientifically too
okay are you listening me
yeah you just do as i say you just raise
your right hand
wave like this okay keep your hands
straight now fold your small finger
ring finger middle finger and thumb only
for your finger pointing upwards okay
bring your hands down and touch your
chin see how many of you are touching
your sin
you are touching your cheek right okay
even when we are communicating even when
you are listening see
especially teachers and parents have to
listen to the fact that you know people
will be reading not simply our words
we are communicating in a number of ways
so that communicating effectively that
is the another kind of life skill
many a time when we deal with analysis
of cases related sexual harassment and
all we could find that it is not a
stranger or a sudden coming to the
person and doing that kind of harassment
it might have started even very earlier
the victim is not communicating thing
effectively it’s not simply lack of
communication capacity it is not
communicating effectively and there
comes the importance of assertive style
of communication or different varieties
of communication and told and many of
you know that you know assertive
communication is something if you have
an answer the communication also should
be
really bringing it out that kind of
content itself so some people say that
saying no is assertiveness but it is not
saying no to your duties saying no to
your responsibilities when somebody is
violating your right
then you have to say no and people you
also used to ask is this the only way to
communicate no there are different
styles of communication like aggressive
communication passive style of
communication is that something needed
very much needed when the nature create
anger that is highly needed for us anger
help us to self-protect anger help us to
fight against certain injustice there
are situation where we have to pass you
sometimes we have to obey because that
will be our responsibilities and duties
that will be the need of the hour
sometimes we will be taking into
consideration the relationship as more
important so that we may not be
asserting ourselves so things are
different we should be able to
understand different styles of
communication and selecting accordingly
okay you may have a favorite teacher
why do you like that teacher the most
people
do not say it is because of the subject
expertise alone they say that the
teacher has got a general kind of
behavior she or he approaches me very
nicely she just look into my eyes
and i know that you know some kind of
warmth is coming things like that that
is nothing but interpersonal
relationship skill that is highly needed
for
for the social beings and extending our
social responsibility we feel that we
have interpersonal relationship skill
but there are so many kinds of social
expert that will be influencing us just
like of gender discrimination some
stereotype that will be there in our
life we feel that
certain kinds of others
so-called others cannot come closer to
us to what extent they can come
sometimes even because of the religious
beliefs we are detached by from many
parts of the society many groups of the
society that affects our
kind of secularism and social behavior
when i come to the thinking skill that
also is very wonderful uh thinking
critically and creatively how far we are
jumping into decision that is is that
increasing our complexities in life
of course the life will be a series of
failures and conflicts sometimes we feel
that we just have to escape from
conflicts do conflicts have any benefits
of course it has benefits it has
benefits in the personal familial and
organizational context when there will
be conflict conflicts we can understand
the fact that the party is engaged or
the participant has equal rights to open
up their opinion and come to certain
kinds of negotiations only when the
conflicts are continuing we are think
about certain kinds of other
interventions or else even in
organization when we think critically
the conflicts will be bringing us to
certain kinds of negotiations strategies
and plans which has to be continued in
the further development so thinking
critically is highly needed and that has
to be a quality or a capacity for
children and adolescents so as to face
their crisis in the life and but when we
think about creativity people used to
say that oh that person is dancing oh
and another person is singing very well
and he is also painting very well but i
don’t have that kind of creativity see
critical thinking is something different
if you think out of box if you have a
new unique style if you are becoming
individualistic that shows you are
create having creative thinking capacity
and studies say that almost everybody
has creative thinking capacity we just
have to identify that facilitate and
come to euron’s style of expressions
about decision making and problem
solving
that has to be
developed like a skill from childhood
onwards if we are getting an opportunity
to engage in family budgeting
considering certain kinds of issues
facing certain issues that will work
like a behavioral vaccine like that that
will be there in our character and can
be utilized whenever necessary so only
when we are encountering with the
situation these kinds of skills can be
developed
and still another group of skills are
called as coping skills or management
skills
so that we can deal with the crisis deal
with the difficulties deal with the
different kinds of encounters easily
when these skills are being developed
those are coping with emotions and
coping with stress
how we get different kinds of emotions
the emotions has got a biological basis
it has got a hormonal basis and we have
no control over it so how can we control
our emotion is it something possible
the expression of emotions can be
controlled it can be learned the teacher
may be having so much so much aggression
and will be just like
crushing the baby but will be saying
that oh come on why don’t you do like
that because the situation demands that
the job situation demands that even when
we are in the organizational setup when
we are working what happens is
the situation demands certain kinds of
control of our emotions and this is just
like we are doing an emotional labor we
are getting salary for controlling our
emotions too and that is highly needed
in the social interactions about stress
what is stress if you feel that your
resources are not enough to face certain
situation that leads to certain kinds of
imbalances certain changes in the
homeostasis that is called as stress and
stress will be having a number of causes
it can be biological physical or
psychological your guilt may be working
or it can even be social so study says
that this is quite inevitable we cannot
just escape from stress so stress have
to be managed we are not thinking about
eradication of stress but management of
stress isn’t it so how can we manage
stress of course when a stress is there
the course has to be identified and just
see whether cause can be addressed or
not
that is the first thing we have to do
and there are two ways of stress
management it is called as problem
focused approach an emotion focused
approach
a mother who identified that her baby is
hearing impaired she is highly depressed
she thought about a suicide but after
some encounters she says that oh i
thought that
this baby is from god
god might have thought that why this
lady has to be selected as the mother
god has a purpose
he might have seen some kind of
qualities in me that is by that is why
this baby is given to me
so the thinking differs
the management differs nothing is going
to happen for the situation but the way
the person thinks the cognitive
restructuring will be working so as to
face the situation in a better way
so sometimes it can be emotion based
management but many a time we can also
think about a problem focused method
where the reason has to be found out the
reason has to be addressed the reason
can be sometimes your ageism the reason
can be sometimes your perfectionism the
reason can be certain kind of gender
bias that you carry you identify that
and try to address in some way or the
other that has to be the mechanism why
you are talking about a yoga or a stress
management technique like relaxation or
meditation
is that the technique that we have to
use
when i think about public in general i
never support these kinds of system that
can be done by an affluent society very
well but you think about the society in
general people are there working in the
agricultural sector or in the
construction structure or they they are
running for their daily wages or they
are laborers do you think that these
kinds of techniques can be done
the people will be having their own
personal style of dealing with stress
some people say that i’ll just sit and
relax for some time i’ll just drink a
coffee i’ll just go for walk i’ll just
move away from the situation i will call
my favorite friend i’ll be sometimes
going to beach and just watching the
waves for some time
all these are different styles of stress
management people select for they
themselves very personally so these are
the techniques that will be working
wonderfully if you find a person
having high stress and their daily life
is highly affected out of it
you just refer that person for a
professional support of course therapies
are available for which stress
management can be addressed
at the same time when we talk about all
these different kind of skills
don’t think that this is the kind of
skills which will be leading us to
victory and will be encountering with
competitions and things like that when
we think about application of these
skills understand that this is becoming
applicable only in a social context your
attitude is important as our social
responsibility is important how we are
socially aware is important then only
the skills will become meaningful