Living your dreams and fears

[Music]

i ran a chain

of schools successful schools

130 schools in four countries

india maldives qatar and dubai

and then four years ago i sold them

if i was living my fears and not my

dreams

i would not have let’s see how my life

may have turned out

if i had lived my fears i would

never ever have left the life i knew in

australia for the life i had built in

india

i would be a classroom teacher today

sure

impacting the lives of 20 students 24

students every year

with a focus on academic outcomes

instead of someone who constantly is

striving

to build a more exciting engaging

learning process

with self-driven learning tools which

will allow each one of you

to build your dreams and not your fears

as a teacher i would like to teach you

less math

less history less geography and allow

you more time

to learn more about yourself most people

who live fulfilled engaged and

meaningful lives

have mastered one thing personal

and purpose mastery for you to be able

to move towards your dreams

and not be driven by fear you must

understand your brain and what it wants

remember from an evolutionary

perspective

your brain evolved not to help you

thrive

it evolved to keep you alive to survive

so let me tell you a story about our

brains

once upon a time many many generations

ago

our ancestors were cavemen and hunters

nature gave us a very helpful part of

our brain

called the amygdala this part of our

brain

was extremely beneficial to our ability

to survive

it was and it still always is

on the lookout for danger when we saw a

snake

or a tiger the amygdala would activate

certain areas in our brain

that would trigger a fight or a flight

response

it would talk to other parts of our

brain

then one part of our brain would flood

our body with a hormone

that activates us to react quickly

cortisol which is known as the stress

hormone

it makes us get sweaty bombs makes our

heart race

all in preparation for a quick reaction

another part of our brain creates a

memory of this

which sort of acts like a post-it or a

highlighter in the brain

so if anything similar happens again

the same brain activation the same flood

of hormones

the same body reactions occur

in my case as a child i had a traumatic

experience with a bat

flapping around in my bedroom today

i get the same anxiety with anything

that is black and flaps its wings even

a harmless moth my amygdala misbehaves

my body goes through the same anxious

reaction as it did when i was a child

even though my logical brain knows a

moth is not a bat

i would have to undergo therapy

to go back in time to the memory was

traumatic as a child

and scrub out the highlighter and remove

the post-it

today we no longer have an environment

that is physically dangerous

but we still have the amygdala

and the amygdala is always on the

lookout

and alert to fear something

to be alert for danger rather than

to look out for pleasure you see it was

more important for our ancestors

to see the snake than to see the

luscious fruit on a tree

if you missed fruit you would still

survive

but not so likely if you miss the snake

or the tiger

modern man today by and large is no

longer in a constant state

of imminent danger but our brains have

not evolved

as far as as fast as our external world

has

so we will give more attention to fear

less to dreams

more to pain less to pleasure

more to negative less to positive

more to scarcity less to abundance

so if i were to tell you that you are

intelligent

vivacious charming

statuesque compassionate

kind generous friendly

articulate adventurous but hey

you have a rather large nose your brain

will pay more attention

to the rather large nose even though i

told you ten positives

and only potentially one negative

because people with large noses

according to

auntie flo’s face reading says that more

often than not

the bearer of a large nose is

self-reliant

confident and ambitious now everyone

wants a large nose

as rick hansen someone i recently

interviewed

is very fond of saying the mind is like

velcro

for negative experiences and teflon for

positive ones

our brains will pay more attention to

bad news

rather than good news the media knows

this

and uses it we watched the media and our

negative mindset gets stronger

your brain is literally hooked to paying

attention to fear

and anything that could be negative it

will select

surviving overthriving it is guided by

fear

and will choose the certainty of staying

still or staying stuck

over the uncertainty of chasing your

dreams

because when it is safe it feels safe

and certain the good news

once you know this you can hack this

in order to move towards your dreams so

why did i sell my schools

my dream has always been to ignite human

greatness

to help each one of you create the best

version of yourself

i was not going to be able to do this

within a school framework

no matter how much i tried so i just

changed

tracks i was able to change tracks

because i

understand how the brain works and that

its goal

would have me continue to feel safe with

the certainty around

wealth significance and meaning that i

had created by owning and running these

schools

i can live my dreams and not my fears

because my mind

has mastery over my mischievous brain

this is my dream for you for you to have

mastery over your mind

i cannot reach any child unless i reach

a parent first

you see your parents did not learn

personal mastery when they were in

school

so their brains also crave certainty it

is a part of the human condition

we all know that what we are doing in

schools is not going to cut it

in the world of tomorrow but here we are

we stick with predictable certainty even

though it is actually no longer safe

the world is changing so exponentially

and the scary thing is this if we

teachers and parents

keep living our fears for our children

our children may at best survive

in a world that has increasing amounts

of uncertainty

but will fail to thrive and live a

meaningful

fulfilled life so the first step in the

journey

was for me to talk to your parents to

let them know that the brain’s goals

are not aligned with the children

becoming the best versions of themselves

so i began a live series called moonshot

conversations

which informs parents on how the brain

works and how we can help

children hack the brain’s goals and

break away

from thoughts beliefs and feelings that

don’t allow us to thrive

once parents understand why some people

get stuck and stay stuck

while others aspire grow persevere and

find

meaning happiness and success they will

change seeing a child’s potential

as finite and begin to see it as

infinite how

over and above sharing 29 years of

research that i have done in the area of

behavioral

neuro and energy science i began having

conversations with the greatest thinkers

and thought leaders on this planet and

now i’m working on distilling

and synthesizing this information for

parents

and for children in a way that is

understandable

as i said earlier we need less math

history and geography

and more learning about how our brains

work how it can be motivated

how it gets brainwashed how to create

the newer circuitry

that will help you create the best

version of yourself

so what i’m about to share with you are

some life hacks

that i have learned either through my

research or through my conversations

with great thinkers what i am sharing

is knowledge that i wish my school had

taught me knowledge i wish my parents

had

knowing them will allow you to live your

dreams

and not your fears here goes

life hack number one know your why

if you know your why it creates an

intrinsic motivation into two things

when you are driven by your why it will

give your life a deeper meaning

if you start a business around your why

people who have the same why

will show up why is

powerful because it gives your brain

meaning

your why will lead to knowing your life

purpose

your life purpose consists of the

central

most motivating aim of your life the

reason

you get up in the morning people who

find their purpose

are naturally motivated and naturally

energized

your purpose can be an automatic guide

for your life decisions it influences

your behavior

shapes your goals will offer a sense of

direction

and create meaning it is naturally

intrinsically motivating

as your life purpose comes from within

you

in a purpose in a motivation

life hack number two be insanely curious

and keep asking why this will lead you

to a contrarian way of thinking

society and education teach you that

there is a correct answer

for every question you have been brought

up to obey

comply follow instructions and

directions

if someone tells you to do something or

to believe in something

or to behave in a certain way ask why

keep asking till you get a response that

sits well in your brain

and in your heart the ability to disrupt

establish methods and ways of thinking

and find new ways of looking at old

ideas

is still and will always be one of the

most sought after qualifications in

any field this insane curiosity will

develop this

life hack number three when anything

happens in your life

that you like you have a choice when

anything happens in your life that you

don’t like

you have a choice to be a victim and to

suffer

or to reframe the story so it empowers

you

the decision to identify with anything

in our minds is a choice

when you learn the power of reframing

the story of what happens to you

this becomes a superpower you won’t

always be able to control what happens

to you

you will be able to control the meaning

you’re given know that your character

intelligence and creative abilities are

not fixed

your brain will want to stay in its

comfort zone in order to

thrive but you have to keep growing

moving forward

you can continue throughout your life to

acquire new skills

to learn new things and to event and to

embed new habits

to create the best version of yourself

you must

keep investing in yourself life hack

number four

you have something called the reticular

activation system

in your brain it is a filter that

directs your focus

and shapes your beliefs once you set a

goal

you communicate to this reticular

activation system that anything

associated with this goal is important

to you

writing your goals is a research pathway

of meeting your goals

and activating your reticular activation

system

the intention sets your direction just

like keying in your destination on

google maps

your reticular activation system must

know where

you want to go to be able to take you

there

life hack number five your inner world

creates your outer world

what thoughts would you think if you

knew that every thought

changes the structure of your brain your

thoughts create your beliefs

and your beliefs create your reality

your thoughts and the beliefs you create

can limit your potential

or expand it how do you live your dreams

or your fears

you have the power to create empowering

beliefs

by choosing your thoughts mindfully once

you have chosen a new belief

you can reshape your habits to reflect

this new belief

there is no stronger predictor of

success

than having the competency of optimism

which offers a far

greater chance of success than pessimism

being optimistic can make you happier

healthier and more successful in all

that you do

it can help you overcome problems keep

you focused on goals

make you less stressed help you have

more fun

helps you learn from any situation

being an optimist and thinking positive

thoughts are key ingredients to a great

life and to being the best version of

yourself

life hack number six learn to tune in

and name and feel

all your emotions the good ones and the

bad ones

accept and embrace the fact that there

is an inevitable pain

of being human we will all suffer in one

way or another

at some point in time you will feel the

loss of a person

or a thing or have to deal with

rejection

fear and uncertainty these are all

uncomfortable feelings

but feelings that will happen to every

single human being alive

digital devices and social media can

offer you an instance

escape and distraction from

uncomfortable feelings like loneliness

boredom or sadness this will replace you

having to confront

or lean into these feelings but it will

also stop

you building mental strength and having

resilience

you need to be resilient to thrive in

the world without it you will be rooted

by fears

and not propelled by dreams challenging

experiences in plants

animals and humans act as an advantage

as they build resilience

many challenges and experiences build

your resilience muscle

so that when you face a big one a big

challenge

you have the antibodies the thoughts

beliefs and

mindsets that you will need life hack 7

cultivate self-awareness this means

having a deep understanding of your

emotions

your strengths your weaknesses your

needs your drives

how do we find success and happiness

unless

you know what motivates you what drives

you what excites you what calms you

what makes you feel fulfilled what

causes you stress

on what basis do you choose select and

just decide

ask the questions who am i what are my

values what are my needs

my drivers what really is my definition

of success

what does a happy life look like to me

what are my

dreams when you have the answers and

choose the daily

habits that will lead you forwards

anyone living their dream

finds their purpose the true purpose is

about recognizing your own gifts

and using them to contribute to the

world whether those gifts are playing

beautiful music

for others to enjoy helping friends

solve problems

or simply bringing more joy into the

lives of those around you

your life is ahead of you go live your

dreams

thank you