Should we be Punished for a Lifetime for our One Worst Act

[Music]

[Applause]

hi everyone

my name is bethany

i am a convicted felon

is that what you expected me to say when

you saw me walking up here

when you think of the word felon

am i the image that immediately comes to

mind

do i look like a felon

do you

so how did i get this label

we all make choices in life

i’m a convicted felon because i made a

bad choice

i was 24 years old and i did something

stupid for a boy

he was 28 years old but really he was a

boy

i took drugs from my job at a veterinary

clinic

and i gave them to the guy i was dating

specifically

i sold him a small amount of ketamine

an animal tranquilizer that can also be

used by people to get high

what i didn’t know is this

the man i was dating

was working undercover for the police

15 minutes after handing him the drugs i

was handcuffed and arrested in front of

my co-workers

when i arrived at the jail i called my

mother

and this is what she said

you are not my daughter

you are no longer welcome here

do not come home

those words

broke me

they echoed through my mind during the

four days that i spent in jail before i

was released to await sentencing on

december seventh 7 2009

just a few days earlier i was working

full time and living with my parents

now

i was unemployed

homeless

and facing felony charges

that same year more than 3.3 million

americans were arrested on drug-related

charges according to the u.s department

of justice

by 2010

people with felony convictions accounted

for eight percent of the adult

population in the united states

two years after i was arrested i was

sentenced

to one felony count delivery of ketamine

the judge sentenced me to 90 days in

jail

two and a half years on probation

and a two and a half year prison

sentence

the prison sentence was imposed and

stayed

meaning if my probation was revoked i

would be sent to prison

i was ordered to pay 25 restitution to

the veterinary clinic

yes

that’s right

i’m a convicted felon over 25

worth of drugs

what i did

was wrong

and i am incredibly ashamed of my

actions

i cannot begin to describe how sorry i

am

and if i could go back and change the

past

i would

but i can’t

so all i can do is be a better person

than who i once was and make better

decisions in the future

i was approved to complete my 90-day

jail sentence under house arrest while

wearing a gps monitoring ankle bracelet

and an alcohol monitoring ankle bracelet

every half hour the alcohol monitoring

ankle bracelet would loudly vibrate as

it tested my skin for the presence of

alcohol

for one hour each morning and each

evening

i had to sit next to an electrical

outlet and plug my gps monitoring ankle

bracelet into charge

police officers conducted random

searches of my apartment at all hours of

the day and night

i was only allowed to leave my apartment

to go to work

i successfully completed my 90 day house

arrest sentence

and i continued regularly seeing my

probation officer

a year into my sentence my probation

officer called me into her office

i was going back to jail on a probation

hold

well she investigated a tip about me

i had no idea what i had done wrong or

how long i would be locked up for

some of the other inmates told me they

had been locked up for six months or

longer on a probation hold

i felt terrified and defeated

that evening i sat on the bunk of my

jail cell

with a noose made out of a bed sheet

tied around my neck

i didn’t actually know how to tie a

hangman’s noose

but each jail pod had a set of stairs

leading to the second floor of cells

my plan was to tie the noose to the

second floor railing and jump

my hope was that if the knot failed the

impact of falling two stories would

break my neck and kill me

as i reached for my cell door

i stared up at the industrial gray walls

with pen and pencil graffiti covering

them

and i wondered if those walls would be

the last images

i would ever see

is this really it i thought

will my death be payment enough for the

mistakes and bad choices that i’ve made

i thought of everything i had already

been through in my life

and i thought of everything i would

never get the chance to experience if i

decided to end my life

and i realized i couldn’t go through

with it

the punishment did not fit the crime

i took that noose off of my neck and i

decided that i am worth more than my

worst act

nothing came of the probation

investigation

except that i lost 75 days of my life

my probation officer took me straight

from jail to a halfway house

where i stayed for another 90 days

i was released from the halfway house

and i started my life over again for the

second time

i successfully completed the remainder

of my probation

i paid my 25 restitution

and my case is considered closed

i did the crime

i paid the time

now i get the chance to move on and live

my life right

wrong

no one would rent to me

no one would hire me

no one would give me a chance

must have a clean record they’d say

sorry

our insurance won’t allow us to hire

felons

the incarceration rate in america is

higher than any other country in the

entire

world

politifact reports that by 2017

about 30 percent of all americans had a

criminal record

that’s 30 out of every 100 people

about 32 out of every 100 people held a

bachelor’s degree in the u.s that same

year according to the u.s census bureau

that means

you have almost the same likelihood of

being arrested and charged in this

country

as you do of obtaining a bachelor’s

degree

in fact the wisconsin budget project

reported that wisconsin

spends more on incarceration

than it spends on the entire university

of wisconsin system

so

we have mass incarceration

combined with a criminal justice system

that is designed for people to fail

in 2018 the prison policy institute

reported that formerly incarcerated

people are unemployed at a rate of over

27 percent

an unemployment rate that is higher than

the u.s unemployment rate during any

time in history including the great

depression

so

where does a person live when they can’t

rent an apartment due to a past

conviction

where does a person turn when no place

will hire them

what choices are left for them

most likely

the only choices left for them

are the same choices that led to their

initial incarceration

and this cycle repeats itself

our system is supposed to work in a do

the crime pay the time sort of way but

for felons

we never

stop

paying

my charge was for a non-violent drug

offense from 12 years ago

but there are many things that i still

can’t do

i can’t work in healthcare

or at banks

or with children

at many places i can’t even volunteer

felons are denied entrance to many

countries

i live in wisconsin and we’re so close

to canada

but i can never visit

even though my charge had nothing to do

with weapons or violence

as a felon i’m permanently prohibited

from purchasing or possessing a firearm

even if it’s just for deer hunting

i can even be arrested if a gun is near

me

such as in a car that i’m riding in

i understand

that what i did

was wrong

and i have paid for my mistakes

i have paid my 25 restitution

i have paid with jail time

i have paid with probation

and i have paid with a felony conviction

permanently on my record

but all of these other things

being denied jobs

being banned from volunteering

being denied housing

having to explain my worst act to

everyone i meet

over and over again

these things were not listed as part of

my punishment

i am

so

sorry

that i stole from my employer

and i have paid for my mistakes

but i keep on paying

there will always be a box at the bottom

of a job application that says

have you been convicted of a crime

that box

allows me to be discriminated against

that box

serves future employers my worst act on

a silver platter

northwestern university reports there

are more than 19 000 statutes in the

united states that involve the denial of

job opportunities for convicted felons

the university also reports that 60

percent of employers refuse to hire a

person that has a criminal conviction

and when people can’t get jobs

it increases their chances of

reoffending

that little check box at the bottom of a

job application

causes more pain

suffering and missed opportunities than

you can begin to imagine

and it is time to consider

whether we need to ban the box

this idea that we need to ban the box

isn’t something new

proponents have been advocating for a

ban for many years

a 2017 study by economic inquiry found

that banning the box

would increase the probability of public

employment for those with convictions

by about 30 percent on average

and it is beyond time that we ban it

we need to move our society from one of

punishment and judgment

to a society of forgiveness

and mercy

if you’re a business owner or you work

in human resources

the next time you’re looking through job

applications

and you start to discard the applicants

that disclose they have a criminal

history

remember

it’s people like me

that you’re pushing aside

for those of you without a criminal

history the next time you’re filling out

a job application and you get to that

check box at the bottom

instead of just skipping past

take a second

to stop and think about what that

checkbox really means to people like me

people are more than a check box at the

bottom of a job application

we are more than the label that we’re

given of felon

we are more than the mistakes that we

have made and we deserve the chance to

redeem ourselves

it’s been nine years since the day that

i stood in a jail cell

with a noose made out of a bed sheet

tied around my neck

i drove past that same jail on my way to

speak to all of you today

as i drove past i flashed back to the

smells

and the fear

and the nightmares

the feeling of not being in control of

my own fate

and i thought to myself

haven’t those of us who’ve been

convicted and served our sentences

paid for our mistakes

should we be labeled for a lifetime for

our one worst act

i looked up at that jail and i thought

of how far i’ve come in nine years

despite the obstacles that i’ve faced

i am a college graduate

i am a writer

i am the founder of a non-profit

i am more than a convicted felon

and we are all worth

so much more than our worst act

[Applause]