The Art of Reinventing Yourself

[Music]

as i’m standing here today

what comes to my mind is one of my

favorite

proverbs it’s a chinese wisdom

that says that a journey of a thousand

miles

begins with one single step

and isn’t it so true that each step we

take in life

is just a part of a much bigger journey

today i want to share with you my

journey

of a personal transformation a journey

of stepping out of my comfort zone

a journey of facing the challenge to

reinvent myself

a journey that started with one single

step i often remember myself

as a young energetic ambitious girl in a

business attire

always eager to grow higher and to learn

more i got my third master degree at the

age of

25 and got my first top managerial

position

at 27 career promise to be

exciting and big but life is interesting

because it constantly throws us

challenges

and it had other plans for me

so it took me uh on an adventure of

a constant self-discovery and

rediscovery

by taking me and my family to different

countries and challenging me to discover

new

and hidden sides of my personality

and to reinvent myself each time

with the alternative of getting

completely

lost it all started about

10 years ago when my husband got a

once-in-a-lifetime

opportunity to study in one of the best

universities of the united states

and so i left my successful career

and with our three tiny kids

followed him on his adventure and threw

myself

into the unknown of a new country

new culture and what proved to be later

a totally new what they call expat

life uh to be very honest with you i

didn’t realize

fully what i’m signing up for i thought

it’s just a short break from my career a

time

to support my husband to be with my

children

and maybe a time to explore something

new

but the truth is that whenever you take

such

breaks um no matter how hard you try

to maintain your ties with your past it

starts

slowly slipping away from you

and you start slowly losing it

because everything around us is in a

constant change

we change the people we use to know

change the place

the places we use to work for change

as a result you find yourself in a place

where

you are not a part of your new life yet

and at the same time you are not a part

of your old life anymore

it’s a very strange place to be and it’s

filled

with so many ups but with even more

downs novelty is always

exciting especially if you are a curious

explorer like myself but very often

you feel like losing your ground

constantly being

physically in one place but mentally

in another you miss home

your family friends you miss your life

and you miss yourself in that life

what happens in that space between the

past and the present that doesn’t

feel like yours not to mention the

future full of uncertainty

is that you try desperately to keep

floating to rebuild your identity

almost from zero as you realize that

all your past achievements aren’t worth

much

in the new context that you found

yourself

in in those times

perhaps your deepest values are the only

compass that helps you to stay on the

track

and not to fall apart you also start

appreciating and sticking to your roots

more

hoping for them to hold you while you

bend with the winds

and face the whole discomfort of

breaking

down and reinventing yourself

anew what i realized later was that for

quite a long time i lived in my past

and by my past without fully

embracing my life here and now

and for quite a long time my only hope

was to go back there to my past

one day seven years

two different countries three different

cities

between home and places that start

eventually feeling like

home but every time you start

at the new place your whole set of

stereotypes beliefs and

stories gets

questioned challenged falls apart like

pieces of a puzzle and then slowly

gets back together again in a beautiful

yet very different

picture and view of the world

and of yourself in that world

on top of the all the challenges of

constantly

adapting to living in the new places

i remember through all that time

stressing out about that gap in my

resume this is my hr background

speaking here as a result i took

all the uh each and every possibility

uh be it volunteering free and underpaid

consulting copywriting editing

helping people with their applications

helping friends with their businesses

organizing school fundraisers and

negotiating with donors

starting the business myself

i would never say no to an opportunity

to do some work and as a result i got

a bunch of experiences which i would

never have if i had stayed in my

successful hr career i met

hundreds of people from more than a

hundred

different countries and learned so much

about

their cultures and their traditions and

most

importantly i learned to respect and

love them all and learned so much about

the human

nature so different and yet

so alive i started to paint

wrote a book of poems

listened to tons of audio books went

back

to study again became a profit in

cooking of course became quite

advanced in pilates in every moment of

time

i would try to find something creative

and

meaningful for myself to do something

that would be a new learning experience

for me

something that would something to

experiment with something that would

keep my brain

active agile and challenged

and yet all that time i felt like

i’m not enough something is missing

just because of that gap in my resume

which was bugging me the whole time

and dragging my confidence down and down

by taking away the last chance my last

chance

of going back to the great corporate

career

i once had until one day

i realized that that gap on my resume

was a blessing it gave me an opportunity

to discover so many other sides

of my personality

and to learn so many new things

in life and today i’m not

trying to fill that gap

anymore i’m proud to say that

that gap was so full of events

and experiences that it can hardly

be called a gap and it made me so rich

as a personality

that today i feel like i can do

virtually

anything and anywhere

and as a part of my work i empower

those people who face similar challenges

to reinvent themselves and to transform

their careers and their lives

so we all have stories each precious

and so unique we all

partly have to face what life throws at

us

and partly write our stories ourselves

but it’s important what we take from

each and every experience

that we face whether it’s positive

or negative we all reinvent ourselves

many times throughout our lives even

without traveling

we often find ourselves in a place

between the past where we don’t fit in

anymore

and the present where we haven’t found

ourselves yet

life isn’t standing still as ancient

greek philosopher heracletus said

you cannot step in the same river twice

for it’s not the same river and you are

not

the same person we all go through

relationships we change workplaces

careers we find and we lose

we rise and we fall even today we speak

of a new normal

new reality created by the pandemic

and it’s almost like a new country with

its own new rules and we all

have to reinvent ourselves once again

to be able to keep going to adapt

and to thrive into this new environment

so what is this process of reinventing

yourself

all about i’d like to share with you

five wisdoms if i may say so which come

straight from my heart but they

many of them can be also found and

backed up by a scientific research and

studies from the field of positive

psychology

so reinventing yourself is about

letting go of your past and old

narratives and not getting stuck

there no matter how glorious or

miserable it was it’s over it’s behind

it has shaped you as who you are

today appreciate it take

all those useful lessons that will serve

you in your journey

but focus on your present and look

forward life is happening here and

now it’s about allowing yourself

to be a beginner

because every time we find ourselves in

a new

reality let’s face it we become

beginners

and it’s not an easy concept to grasp

especially if you have been an expert in

something else or somewhere else

but allowing yourself to be a beginner

gives you permission

to learn and not to be too hard on

yourself

it gives you permission to start again

and to reach your full potential at some

point

it’s also about being aware of your

weaknesses but relying on your strengths

in the times when we feel like falling

apart

we become even more vulnerable and we

tend to

dig on our failures and on what we did

or didn’t do or what went wrong

and that drags us even further down

creating this perpetual cycle of

self-blaming and self-pity

and we tend to disregard those things

that went well

and those small wins that we had

nevertheless

along the way so it’s important to make

that shift

and to think of your strengths and

to hold on to them and to rely on them

because you’ll be able to

build your new identity around your

strengths

not around your weaknesses we always

speak about

what we need to do and how we need to be

to achieve something but we often forget

about the power and the importance of

support

so i would say that the process of

reinventing yourself

is greatly about leaning on your support

system

and your social network human connection

and human

support are one of the most valuable

things

that we may have in life and it’s um

and there are always people around you

who are willing and ready

to support you in your journey

just look around don’t be afraid of

being

vulnerable and trusting people and

you’ll find

all you need to move on and not to feel

alone

in your journey reinventing yourself

is about connecting the thoughts it’s my

deepest

belief that all your past experiences

will come together once

all the things that you learned or did

along the way

will serve you in one way or another one

day

along your journey be open to

experiences

don’t deny anything coming your way

don’t close the doors

even if it’s not a positive experience

it still

makes you rich it adds to your wisdom

and to your

resilience and it makes you so

you can unique and exquisite

and finally it’s about keeping your

mind and heart open life

is an adventure and as much as your

ability

to uh succeed and to maximize your

well-being

depends on your ability to plan and live

up to your goals

it depends twice as much on your

ability to be flexible and to adjust

when your whole plan falls apart

so keep your mind and heart open

to new experiences and to new

you thank you