What Happens on the Road Not Taken

i’ve actually secretly

been practicing my tedx speech since the

age of 14.

and now 10 years after when my dream was

finally materializing into a reality

i was dumbfounded i was absolutely blank

i had no words coming out of my mouth

and i

panicked i was wondering why is this

happening

it’s not because i have nothing to say

to the contrary i feel

everybody has stories and experiences

that are worth sharing

it’s only a little later that i realized

the root cause of this

was the cause of all the major issues in

my life

pressure pressure and only pressure

pressure to impress pressure not to

disappoint pressure to succeed

i feel all of us have fallen prey at

some point in our life

to this idea of an ideal life and

what it means to have an ideal life it

begins with

getting good grades in school which

eventually leads to

getting a job which eventually leads to

making money

which then leads to having a successful

life

or a failed life um and all along

you know we give in to all the standards

that are set by society

sounds like a lot of pressure but i’m

not here to be a therapist

or to be a philosopher i’m just here to

talk about my life and talk about

concepts

that have helped me make some decisions

in my life and hopefully might help you

too

when i was growing up i was extremely

academically driven

i had only three things on my mind good

grades good grades

and with roshan i was the head girl of

my school

and i had blinders on that you know i

have to do well in school

then i have to do well in college then i

have to get um you know graduation

degree

and then a master’s and then by 25 i

have to buy a car

by 30 i have to buy a house and that was

a way forward for me

and all along you know there were a lot

of words that were thrown at me

um like profession and passion and

ambition

and not once that i sit down and really

think about whether they all

meant the same thing or anything

different i

felt like if i picked a profession

um you know in something that i was

passionate about it was

a sure short ladder to success

so i started looking at all my passions

and i had varying passions you know like

i was passionate about

baking i was passionate about helping

animals i was passionate about

traveling i was passionate about

performing so i did

between career paths i wanted to be

a veterinarian doctor at one time i

wanted to be a pilot for the longest

time

i wanted to be an actor it’s only

much later did i realize my mistake

is why i’m talking about it today my

parents actually sat me down

and they told me a story which

completely

changed my life it’s about a

twenty-something girl

who’s one aim in life

was to be successful that’s all she

wanted that’s all she thought about she

woke up and she was thinking about being

successful when she was sleeping

she thought about being successful she

dreamed of being successful

so she went to her mentor and she asked

him can you please give me the key to

success

and she kept asking him kept asking him

kept asking him until one point he told

her okay meet me

on the beach at five in the morning so

she went really excitedly and said oh my

god today’s the day i’m going to

you know get the key to success

so she showed up and he said i’m going

to ask you two questions

and she agreed um she asked her

how badly do you want to be successful

and she said extremely badly that’s all

i want

i’ve not slept all night this is exactly

what i’m made for i want to be

successful

so he said okay um you know enter the

ocean

so i mean a little skeptically she

ventured in and he kept telling her to

go further and further in so she kept

moving forward into the deep ocean

and she kept swimming until a point when

she started to drown

and then she was clawing and gasping for

breath and yelling help

help help and after some time um

her her mentor went and he rescued her

and got her back to the show and when

she

gained back her consciousness she was

exasperated she

was livid she was just like are you

insane i could have died

and he said oh i need to ask you my

second question she couldn’t understand

what was wrong with him

that you know she was almost about to

die and he wanted to ask her the second

question but he did

he asked her when you were under water

what was that one thing you wanted

and she said i wanted to breathe what

else i mean are you

like have you completely lost it and you

said to her very calmly

when you want to succeed as much as you

want to breathe

then you will be successful this story

absolutely changed my mind i realized

that i was passionate about wanting to

buy a car at 25

and buy a house at 30 and

only when you’re really really

passionate about something can you use

it as inertia to propel you

further in life i’d already set these

milestones in my

in my head without having a path to

build them on so that’s what my parents

told me they told me to create a path

for myself before

i even begin setting milestones for

myself

and they sat me down calmly and they

told me to think about what i really

enjoyed doing and what

i could see myself doing for the rest of

my life

and that’s when i shifted my focus

towards performing

i was performing in school and college

all my life like

i used to take part in debate

competitions

in poem recitations in dramatics in

theater

state level national level and that was

truly the time that i would

really come alive and i would be really

happy

and i had a realization that performing

is that one thing

i wanted to do as much as i wanted to

breathe

but that was just the beginning of my

journey that was a long way ahead

any profession that you pick is laced

with tons of hard work

a lot of blood sweat and tears and joy

so i started working hard towards what

made me happy

um i finally got the confidence to pick

it as a profession and

up until then i could never look at

myself in the mirror and

say confidently that you know i want to

make a profession out of this

but i started doing classes i started

auditioning

and that’s how i began working and it’s

been a beautiful journey up until now

and it’s just the beginning

but i was wondering why was i so fearful

why didn’t i ever take the plunge

you know a lot of us look right and left

before crossing the road

you know i don’t know if any of you do

that but i do that all

the time and i realize why can’t we just

use

that and apply to our real life you know

just be cautious instead of being

fearful cross that role

but be cautious and you know work hard

towards it so that

you become certain let’s not be fearful

you know if this also still doesn’t help

you you know give you clarity about what

probably you want to do

in your life then i’m sure you guys have

at some point use you know these

apps which help you find directions like

google maps or anything like that

and you know when the artificial

intelligence asks you

in 150 meters turn right

without batting an eyelid we turn right

so when your heart truly tells you that

shaya

i don’t want to be a copywriter i want

to be an actor

why are we so fearful why do we think

twice

why why are we so scared to fail

yes we all want to pay bills and nobody

wants to fail but

we can learn from our failures and you

have only one life

and a very wise man once said

buddy honey i really believe in that

concept

so i did exactly that and i really feel

that that is one

idea which has really changed my life

and i hope it can help you change yours

but there’s another factor that comes

into all of this

and that again is pressure pressure

pressure

how do we create an environment that is

devoid of any kind of pressure

how can we create an environment that

when we’re taking decisions

we’re not pressurized by any kind of

factors be it external or self-inflicted

that will only happen if you not only

follow your dreams but you allow other

people to follow their dreams as well

live and let live you know when you see

somebody turning

right in their life and they can be

turning right as many times as they want

when you realize that somebody is doing

something that they want to do as much

as they want to breathe

support them you know help your friends

and family

be there for them um if they falter pick

them up

you know and that’s the only way we can

create a safe environment for ourselves

to make decisions that are devoid of any

kind of pressure

you know when i hear of a doctor

becoming a dancer

or an engineer becoming an actor i also

hear people say

what a waste of a seat you know if

that’s what they wanted to do why didn’t

they do it from the beginning

or when a lawyer becomes a dancer or any

profession

any you know there’s a switch in any

kind of profession you will hear people

say oh maybe

that person wasn’t good at what they did

um so they were just wasting their time

let’s not do that let’s not judge people

let them be

you know let people make their mistakes

and learn from their mistakes and let’s

help

each other um to sum it up i just want

to say that

don’t make your life all about picking a

singular

passion and making a career out of it

choose your profession for the right

reasons and trust me your passions will

follow

i want to end this speech with something

that a mere cat and a warthog taught me

hakuna matata