Why Being Whole Is Necessary

[Applause]

once divorced

twice married mother of one though of

course some sites say that i have two

children i don’t know where the second

one

is a wife a daughter a sister

a friend a tv presenter a comper an

actor in all mediums

a radio jockey a model a dubbing artist

but most importantly a woman who has

made all of the above choices

when life handed me that menu why not i

said

i’ve always believed that you are always

given

a choice in life because you are the one

who has the gumption

to handle it so i’ve always said seize

the day and make the most of it

anytime anything comes to you now along

the way you should always do things for

yourself

that make you proud to say that i did

this all on my own steam that’s always

been one of my mantras throughout my

life

uh it’s it’s you know it’s quite quite

an adrenaline rush when you look at

yourself in the mirror

and feel proud of all of the choices

that you’ve made i think everybody would

agree to that

now why that’s the topic for today solve

for y

is a question that kind of only arrives

when we are constantly second guessing

our present okay every time we try to

answer

that question why the variable changes

and we always start questioning

our presence so isn’t it better to find

the solution

for that why before this whole conundrum

comes into

our to our life therein lies the path

to your happiness feeling complete in

yourself independent

of anyone else or anything else now

in my life i’ve done a myriad of things

okay be it personally be it

professionally

at 17 i decided to start modeling

alongside my engineering studies

i got married in my final year of

engineering all of 20

i moved to the uk once i graduated a

young bride at 21 my first marriage

there

once there i i you know i didn’t work as

an engineer i wasn’t one of those people

who

uh you know wanted to go and do an ms or

sit there designing a printed circuit

board i was sushi and there was a whole

lot of other things going on in my head

which i wanted to do but i never

i never planned on the acting okay so

now it’s during this uh stint of work

that i got my first audition this is

where the whole journey began okay i got

my the chance to

my first audition for a french film to

play the lead in a french

film called la prix dune farm which was

about the dowry system in india

having no background in acting i had

only played a mouse

in cinderella in school i had played uh

you know two roles in amateur theater

when i was you know 10 12 years old

in bombay uh uh but just with all of

that

only under my belt i went for this

audition now there were a lot of other

girls over there

uh jennifer jaffrey was the casting

agent there were a lot of other girls

who were all trained

studied in radha shadow you name it all

of these schools and um i remember the

girl in front of me

who went before me uh we were given two

scenes very intense scenes which we had

to learn in 10 minutes and go and do it

for her

and i heard her telling uh i heard her

telling uh jennifer

that um you know we can’t really imbibe

the character

etc etc so it was my turn i went in

there and

ten minutes later so uh uh jennifer told

me why don’t you sit down and do the

reading

now this was as i told you there are two

very intense scenes of the movie where i

had to break down and cry

etc etc but uh when she said please sit

down here and read

i said uh no ma’am i’d like to act out

the scene for you

she said oh okay um how many years have

you been acting

i said uh this is my first audition so

naturally she was a bit surprised and

she said okay fine

it’s all right act out use the papers

it’s fine i said no i don’t want to use

the papers i don’t want to use the

script

i’ll just remember what i remember and i

will make it up along the way

if i forget and uh you just play the

other part

at the end of that audition at the end

of the second scene i had broke

actually broken down i was crying and i

was at her feet at the end of that scene

i will never forget this you know i

really i will never forget this because

this changed my life she picked me up

and she put me on the sofa next to her

and she looked at me straight and she

said so chitra please tell me the truth

how many years have you been acting and

that is what changed my life and that is

what got me to realize that this

is where i want to be this is what i

want to do and and you know this is

where

my journey is supposed to take me so

now do what it takes to turn every stone

you know a friend once told me this this

was a

you know uh this was the start i would

say this movie was the start to me

promising myself to turn

every opportunity into a journey

towards the next adventure in the path

that i had chosen as my career

doing my part honing my skill you know

being the best

at what uh i had chosen to be that was

what was in my mind after that

now post witch another life changing

uh decision you know uh had to be taken

as a drifting apart of

souls happen this i’m talking about

personally my ex-husband

and myself uh well i had to move back to

mumbai while he was posted in tokyo and

that’s what kind of

caused the drifting apart of two people

an amicable uh divorce but this was of

course

i have to admit a hiccup in my personal

life

uh because it was the big decision that

hangs over your head of getting

the divorce and it had to be addressed

now many of my loved ones you know and i

say this for all

uh for all the girls and uh uh all the

people watching

uh you will be influenced by a lot of

people uh people

who you would think you know have your

best in christendom sometimes do

many of my loved ones insisted that i

would be very much happier in tokyo

being mrs so and so yeah but i

i then itself i knew that it didn’t take

anybody else

for me to have my happiness you know i

knew that i could create it for myself

um not being restricted by geographical

boundaries or

uh or personal laws that’s one strength

i’ve always had um

never say never uh you know it and it

didn’t scare me then

it doesn’t scare me now so coming back

to the story at 27 here i was with bags

in hand at my parents house

you know i was the first ever divorced

in my mother’s side of the family in

history

uh you know but the only thing that i

told them as they stood there with their

arms wide open

was that you know i promised to make

something of myself

without compromising on the values that

they had instilled in me and without

stepping on anybody’s toes to get there

you know i’ve always i’ve always said

don’t sit around

waiting for things to happen make those

opportunities happen

for you you know it’s always been my

constant mantra and today at 50 it still

is so this is what urged me

in 1997 to go out there and actually put

it into practice by getting a job

for myself as a dj uh off the very

famous

channel b this is how that happened now

i met the general manager of the channel

at a party and uh um he uh

was you know we were chatting and he

said oh you know i’m the i’m the gm of

this channel called channel b and it’s a

very

it’s a very interesting channel and i

said yes yes actually it is i very

calmly looked at him and i said it’s a

wonderful channel

uh channel b but frankly it’s your loss

that i’m not on it

and uh he was uh he was obviously

very very stumped uh you know he said

really you want to prove it

then in a week’s time he gave me uh you

know the opportunity to get an audition

that’s literally saying that one

sentence

to him you know going out there and

getting it for myself is what i did

and he said uh come in uh next week for

an audition which also led to two weeks

later

uh me getting a call from hong kong

saying that they were creating a show

for me called simply south and that i

was officially now a vj

at channel b so that story happened over

there i tried

at that channel it was the place to be

it was the job to have you know when

you’re still

young per se you know 27 28 uh

and you’ve had things like a divorce

behind you it’s great to be able to

stand on your feet again and prove

something

uh you know to everybody and to yourself

more than anything else

now despite that the actress in me at

that point

uh while i was still a vj at channel b

and comparing jobs started happening

etc the actress and me started getting

opportunities the first of which was the

opportunity to do dance like a man

which was the play uh that i started way

back in 1997

i’m still doing it now 23 years later

650 shows nearly across the world from

new zealand

to the other end of america and the same

four people until last year were doing

it only one person’s changed now

but 23 years you know uh uh and we’re

still doing it as i said

this play dance like a man uh and i’m

still in that so theater started

happening

with this and after that i did a lot a

lot more shows with uh

lillet to bay and primetime theatre

company um

life is not always a bed of roses you

know

rejection at auditions uh people saying

no

which many take as failure yeah i use

them

as stepping stones many take as uh you

know and they take it personally when

you’re rejected

for a job or whatever i still use that

as a stepping stone

uh to be able to take no as an answer is

definitely a very very big strength

to be able to adapt that’s an even

bigger string

adaptability is the biggest strength

that anybody can have

and that has been a major part of our of

my journey

i’m giving my 100 to everything that i

chose to do

you know to to to make something of

anything that people had put their trust

in me knowing that i was the one who

could make a success

uh success of it uh so no one else could

play my part in that and

for that reason i had to give my 100

come come what me in between all of this

love relationships breakups tears

you know all of that followed uh but uh

they all played an important part i

would say

in making sushi who she is today so i

thank every single one of those people

who touched my life in some way who

taught me lessons who broke my heart

into a million pieces

and in spite of that i can truthfully

say that i

i truly and still believe you know in

love and at that time i still knew that

it would find me again

and again and again and again and i

wasn’t gonna get scared by it

but you know um i wasn’t gonna base my

level of happiness

on someone else being in my life or not

at that point

you are enough to make that happen for

yourself you know you can find it all

in in things that you do and you find it

all right there in you

another journey that started happening

of course is music which has always been

part of my life

you know since i was a kid and when i i

connect that with rejections because the

very first project i did was a musical

album which uh

music album which i was completely

rejected by the record company you know

and here was i have stars in my eyes

thinking i’m going to be a pop star

and they rejected it saying that no this

is not the kind of music that people are

listening to right now so sorry

after signing the contract this is what

happened you know so um

as i said don’t allow no’s and don’t

allow rejection to get to you so what

did it do for me it made me actually

start working again

uh you know with another uh uh another

wind under my wings uh

with gusto for my first album which was

called such is life

or suchi’s life which was an indie pop

album which was released in 2011

and uh presently my second album which

is uh you know an ode to the history of

rock and roll that is ready and will be

really soon that’s an english rock album

and i hope

that uh all of you you know get to uh

hear

it sometime now uh enough the job that

i’ve done and i started doing was

that of a dubbing artist um you know

i’ve been responsible for making

uh people like angelina jolie emma

thompson

sorry uh maggie gyllenhaal meryl streep

kate blanchett maggie q many other women

speak convincingly on screen in hindi

believe it or not

so here was another part to play on this

stage called life

how was i going to be able to juggle uh

you know everything

how is that going to be able to balance

this multifaceted career as i said i was

still doing all of these things all

together

time management but it was only me at

that point that i had to think about now

responsibility taking on you know a

family

a husband a child was i going to be able

to do all of this you have all of those

doubts in your head it’s only normal

that you do

but then again i thought i mean an age

is catching up

with me i need to have a baby at the

right time so i did

and it only takes one decision frankly

speaking you know for all of you who are

watching it takes one decision that of

deciding

to make a success of anything that you

take on you know

knowing that you would do the best that

you can

and uh that’s all that’s all that’s

needed you know

my husband for me has been that he’s

been the one with

my wings and he has put that into

practice by

uh you know letting me fly letting me be

the person i

am and uh letting me uh live my life to

the fullest

i would say you know so you’ve got to as

a woman

uh in this day and age all it takes is i

think time management

priority setting selflessness these are

the three things that i would

uh say any working woman needs to know

how to balance it’s

uh so it’s always nice to appreciate the

people who are in your life

you know it takes it takes nothing just

you know once in a while look at them

and say thank you for just being you

thank you for being there for me

and you know you get so much back in

return and you know that they’ll always

always be there

you know and now experience in this in

this day and age the new wave the new

wave of uh

of showbiz you know it’s fascinating

when you have 27 years of experience uh

uh uh behind behind you to see how the

industry has actually evolved

and you know how lucky one has been to

have been part of that

and seen the journey and now being part

of this you know

these life lessons that you know that uh

or you know at least what i call life

lessons what i’ve shared with you today

i also

you know what i what i pray my child

anika kind of imbibes from me that will

be the biggest uh

you know biggest present for me if she

if she gets all of this and she kind of

puts it into practice into her life but

it is her journey you know it’s her ud

journey which she has to take and uh you

know i hope

but she has that strength to turn around

and say anything is possible

so much done so much more to achieve

miles to go before i sleep well it will

never be enough you know for somebody

who loves

doing what they do as much as i do i

think that shows in the in the work that

i do and that’s why i’m still here

that’s why i’m still

uh doing stuff and that’s why you know i

say never say die

there will always be more that you want

to achieve there is there will always be

more that you want to try there will

always be more

that will make you happier and yes that

is all right that’s okay you can think

about all of those things

but solve for your own unique why

after all you are all still here because

you are capable

of finding your own solutions reach for

the stars for there won’t be any more

fences to stop you

all that’s required from you just to do

that is commitment

drive integrity to give it your best

shot

that jupta is what i say till the end of

your days

that’s what you need to do give it your

100 and that’s what makes for a life not

wasted