Wisdom from The CulDeSac.

[Music]

as a writer

a community activist and a searcher

i’m someone who believes and happy ever

after

and yet i still carry this angst that i

haven’t quite yet accomplished are

achieved

i’m kind of cut between a rock and a

hard place

externally i look like i have it all

together

yes i teach and i have been part of some

really good stuff

work-wise but i always find that

i think i’ve more to do i haven’t quite

got there

i started out teaching personal

development over 25 years

ago they say you teach best what you

need to learn most

and i suppose that’s true for me

for instance i would have started off

reading

man search for meaning scott peck the

road less

traveled then further along the road

less traveled questions on the road less

travel

and i then found that i never

quite knew where i stopped i always

searched and went outside

so 2020 was to be the year draw the line

in the sand

and i was going to step out of my

comfort zone and practice what i

preached

i started off by booking my one woman

show

why i haven’t met oprah yet

i was so excited had a theater book list

old the cultural capital of the world

and then just at the end of february

early march my father had a fall

fractured his hip and as a result

complication set in and

he never really recovered so sadly he

passed

away i wrote his eulogy

i called it the father tries because he

used to say a musical instrument won’t

play itself unless you pick it up and

give it a go

this is a man who could play ten

different instruments he was self-taught

he couldn’t read sheet music

he was a plumber by trade he taught

everyone on the cul-de-sac how to swim

i remember the time he made a raft out

of pallets that he had in the shed

he put it on his bedford van and brought

us all down to the river daughter

there must have been about 10 or 12 of

us sitting on this raft

with sticks as paddles we thought we

were in the movies

i can still recall the glee

what my father was saying was give it a

go

try it live now not soon

i found myself then back in the same

cul-de-sac i was brought in

locked in with my 81 year old mother and

all my old neighbors

and in a strange way this pandemic has

put us all into a force cul-de-sac

where we’re all leveled where aesthetics

and prestige

don’t matter as much i looked around me

and i watched my neighbors

lily betty tony molly k

i watched them wrestle with change all

in their own unique way

my mother used to take out her prayer

beads she used to keep them in a little

sachet a little purse and every day at

half 12

she turned on the television and joined

in

with the covet rosary and then at

lunchtime she’d say i feel i did some

good today

i feel i’m fighting the virus as well

because prayer matters and then molly

your friend up the road 88 used to walk

up and down her garden this is a woman

who took up art in her 70s

still plays bridge always has a lovely

necklace on her lipstick

she said to me one day as i pass by

i think they’re going to have to teach

us how to walk again

if we don’t move we’re going to lose it

and then we share a laugh

across the road peggy

who has hands that are gifted she made

everyone’s communion dress

there was nothing she couldn’t do with

her hands and our garden

looked like it could win prizes

then i used to call in to lily she had a

fantastic mind i remember as a kid being

sent to a message to lily

and she’d always bring me in she made me

my first cup of coffee

on hot milk i remembered the skin in my

mouth and it burning me

but she was telling me about the velvety

and rabbit i’ve never forgotten it

lily today has two knee replacements and

they get too

hot in the summer so she couldn’t come

out in the garden and talk so she used

to

sit at the window and we used to talk to

her

and then there was sky news nora she

kept us all informed of the news and the

trivia

a great brain she knew the workings of

the government

nationally globally and she knew the

trivia the facts the soaps

she knew who was who and what was on

she has lost her husband

her grandson and her son in a very short

time

so she knows grief intimately

and she still gets up and says yes to

life

before covet i was traveling at a pace

of not to do to go to fresh to carry

multitasking thinking that was the way

of the world

i’d barely look up and say hello to my

neighbors

and missing out on the richness that

they held

these made me realize

the importance of connection because

what i was looking for

was something even more primal than that

i was disconnected i was in my own

cul-de-sac

i was looking to belong to be part of

the bigger picture

more innately actually what i realized

was

i had had it all along in the cul-de-sac

you see in the cul-de-sac time stand

still

time is immortal and they still see me

as the kid i was and

i suppose i still see them as the

wonderful big people

who were my first role models who

informed me

whose lives they were all interspersed

matter of factly

we got on with our lives rituals

rites of passage all looking out for

each other

everyone’s kids belong to each other

the first time i fell coursed

kissed got lost was heartbroken

is etched on the lines in the footpaths

on the walls that i know

it’s in the gardens in the houses in the

smells in the trees that i know so well

today more than ever the elders are

teaching me again the importance of

connection

because they’re just getting on with

getting on

they’re meeting life where it’s at

they’re feeling the fear and doing it

anyway and that’s without a book

the importance of a hello how are you

connecting my father from wherever he is

now

is saying show up

give it a go that shows that you care

be present connect just do your best

in all this time

what i was looking for was right beside

me

i had had it all along

what i learned in this cul-de-sac

was the best lesson i could have ever

got

the importance of connection and i could

put it into three words what the

cul-de-sac teaches you

it says how are you and it really means

it

so i invite you the next time

that you’re sitting with a neighbor or a

friend

to really ask how they are

and enjoy the wonder and the magic

that unfolds thank you

[Music]

you