I Am Bold Bald and Beautiful

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

you’re too short

you’re too skinny you’re too

fat oh my gosh you have a gay

child you don’t have any kids yet at

this age

tell me you make more than a hundred and

fifty thousand dollars a year

is this the neighborhood you live in

i only got 150 likes for that story

i must not be good enough

that is enough

imagine the power of challenging what

society deems successful

beautiful and acceptable

by recognizing and honoring

the greatness that dwells within and

then inviting the world to experiencing

who am i many people live a lifetime

unable to discover the answer there’s a

poem by bevan lee that says

i am two of the most powerful words for

what you put after them

shapes your reality i can say that when

i reflect on my life

it took me decades to discover

understand and walk in my

i am so when did i finally

begin living when did i finally

take my first breath take a walk with me

it’s a typical friday night

it’s preparing for my next day

gazing in the mirror

preparing to get my weave done the next

day

and as i was gazing in the mirror

i can tell you that something came

over me like a ton of bricks

i can’t begin to tell you what it was

except

that it was a feeling of being

done done with being preoccupied with

what other people thought of me

done with hiding the reality that i

could no longer grow hair

done with being uncomfortable in my

own skin just to make other people

around me feel comfortable about how i

look

done with not living because of what

grows

and what does not grow out of the top of

my head

see i was done

in that moment i called my super stylist

and i said

i’m done tomorrow when i come in i’m

shaving it all off

and i’m not bringing in any hair because

i can’t chicken out in this moment

i had to be all in

she on the other end of the phone said

are you sure

i couldn’t have been more sure of

anything in my life in that moment you

see

for us it had been a five year journey

five years of me going to her salon

after hours so that no one could see

what was under my mask

called to weave five years of me sitting

in her chair

weeping because i was ashamed

five years of her holding that space for

so that i could be vulnerable even if

just for that moment

five years of me living in a box that

had become

too small too small

too confining too limiting and each time

i would try to flatten my wings

to flourish and grow i was reminded that

i was

tethered to that box

you see my hair was only symbolic

of a bigger issue my bigger issue

is that i had an identity crisis

so this journey for me it wasn’t easy

but it was necessary i would always ask

her

what if i just shaved it off her serious

you will when you’re ready

so walk in the salon saturday

preparing to spend my entire saturday in

the salon

it was packed usually it’s just me and

my stylist but this day there was

no chair empty

and so i walk in and i’m thinking oh my

word i chose

this day to be bold

there was no turning back for me now

so i sat in her chair

she said are you ready

let’s do it she pulled off my scarf

exposing my male balding hair pattern

she then pulled out the clippers

she began to shave

shaving the weight that i had carried

since i was

10 years old shaving the preconceived

ideas

i had about beauty shaving to reveal the

core

of me i am not my hair

and as she shaved we both cried cried

tears of joy

and celebration of true liberty i was

finally free i was finally

a lover of me i was finally

unapologetically me

i am free

we are free

i left that place a completely different

person

i left that place no longer being

consumed by the

uninformed opinions that people had of

me i wore a different kind of confidence

instead

i wore my i am my i am of

strength my i am of perseverance

tenacity kindness and generosity

i sat shade out of that place like no

one could believe

people were so complimentary

what i recognize is they weren’t

responding necessarily

to this yes it’s a bit shocking but it

wasn’t this that they were responding to

what they were responding to

is the work that i had done from the

inside

that then permeated outward for the

world to see

you see beauty that’s an inside job

ask yourself these questions

what is my i am

who am i at my core that i can then

unleash to let the world experience

what can i summons from within when life

happens because life happens and it hits

us hard

what can you call upon your strength

your perseverance your tenacity your

eagerness

so that you can persevere and be strong

thrive and have peace

and as we begin to work on ourselves

there’s one thing that we can’t forget

there’s a generation coming behind us

what are we doing to model what it means

to really

live in our i am what examples

are we setting for them

why because they’re watching

be well be great

and most importantly be you

you