The Light of the Dark
last year
i like many other people taped up a
paper rainbow
in the front window of my house
this was a fun way to add a little bit
of cheer and extend it outside of my
home
during the year of 2020. a few days
after i hung up this rainbow i was
sitting in the front room of my house
on the other side of the rainbow and i
had an interesting observation about
light
and that led me to draw this drawing
i titled this drawing taped up a paper
rainbow
in my house window now the window lets
less light inside my house
and it puts more light outside of my
house
there are two kinds of light that i’m
talking about here in this drawing
there is a literal light a light being
blocked by this colorful craft paper
which stops less light coming into my
house making the front room darker
and there’s a metaphorical light the
metaphorical light being the light that
i hope to extend outside of my house
i have been looking for light for a long
time now
i have so many so
many drawings where i was
looking for light i don’t believe
i knew whether i was looking for literal
light or metaphorical light
and even though i knew the difference i
don’t know if i knew the difference
and i assumed that they were one and the
same
literal light is external the sun rises
and sets each day
light switches can be used to turn on
and off the light as you choose
and a candle can be lit to shine light
into the dark
literal light is not white it is made up
of a rainbow of colors
as isaac newton discovered in the 1660s
metaphorical light is some kind of hope
or illumination on something dark or
unknown it doesn’t take long
just a quick google search to find a
scroll-worthy
amount of posts or quotes or words about
metaphorical light
from quotes to scriptures to sacred
texts
light is used as a metaphor for hope
from some kind of darkness
metaphorical light is internal and the
good news is
you can find it if you know where to
look for it when making art you cannot
depict the light without also depicting
the dark
like this drawing i did here i rendered
the illusion of an egg
by observing the light and the dark
or these figures here who are looking
for light
in the dark representing one
requires representing the other it is
the conversation
between the two and even the
contradiction or the opposition
of the two that creates the conversation
about light and dark
there is a word used in art terminology
called chiaroscuro
chiara meaning light or an obscuro
meaning dark
together this word literally means in
one word
light dark as i see these figures now
i see these women looking for light
and i also see them wrestling with the
dark
rather than allowing the light and the
dark work smoothly together
i see that they are even afraid of the
dark
and not only are they afraid of the dark
i see that they are afraid of
their dark just like light there are two
kinds of darkness that i see in these
drawings
there is an external darkness and there
is an internal darkness
the external darkness is why we are
afraid of the dark
do any of these phrases feel familiar to
you
don’t walk down that dark alley lock
your doors at night
sleep with a baseball bat next to your
bed just in case
all of these examples have to do with
external darkness
and it is unfortunate and so sad that
some people choose
to take advantage of another person in
the dark
internal darkness is a beautiful thing
it is where it all
begins the lunar cycle begins not with a
full moon where the moon is fully lit
but with a new moon where the moon is
dark and turned into herself
not shining the sun’s light
the full lunar cycle lasts just short of
30 days
and a full moon lasts just short of
three days which means that the moon is
dark
or returning to her darkness waxing or
waning
90 of the time while the sun
offers us light and helps light the way
that we can go
the moon asks for trust and reminds us
to turn into
our internal darkness as often as we
turn ourselves to
the external light trees also begin in
darkness
you can look at a tree only so long and
not see
her roots trees ask us to remember
that the strength of a tree lies not in
what we see above ground but what is
happening below ground
in the dark and we all
began in darkness too
i drew this egg thinking about the
concept of conception
and about how my twin voice grew inside
of me
and i grew inside of my mother and she
inside of hers
and how we all began in the dark
no matter how much light shines on this
egg
the interior of the egg is still dark
and this is the sacred darkness the
darkness where we all
began carl young said
how can i be substantial if i do not
cast a shadow
i must have a dark side if i am to be
whole
it has taken me a lifetime so far to
understand the truth of these words
to be whole i must have light and dark
and to add an iteration to carl young’s
important words i would say
to be whole is to be dark within
at first when looking at your own
internal darkness
you may feel afraid of the dark
and over time you can learn how to
discern
the darkness from your darkness
neutral and existing like the inside of
this egg
waiting to be realized and with more
time
you can grow to love your own darkness
and honor it
realizing this is where the sacred parts
of you
are the seeds of growth and
self-discovery
waiting to be realized and nurtured
i learned to love my own internal
darkness
by making artwork creativity is the very
act of turning inward to your own dark
and then extending into the light what
you find
or the act of turning to your
subconscious and then turning it to
the consciousness this is why
creating is so powerful it is a
vulnerable offering of somebody turning
into their dark and
sharing it with the world and when
experienced
it is a deeply connecting experience
as i look inward and create some of
these parts i choose to share outside of
myself
and some of those parts at least for now
i choose to still keep inside of me
and i still have so much more darkness
of my own
to explore and discover
in the past when i was looking for light
i believe i was doing that with a
fear-based motive to get
more and more and more light to try
to get rid of and eliminate the dark
i see now that was simply not true and
also not possible
i can’t ask myself to be entirely light
in the same way i can’t ask the moon to
be full more often than she is which is
only
10 of the time i cannot ask myself to be
entirely light in the same way i cannot
ask a tree to be rootless
and exist only above ground i cannot ask
myself to be entirely light without
dismissing
the darkness that i was born in
in some way whatever way is true for you
we are all looking for light
we are looking for some hope or
illumination
from the darkness that we are
experiencing
and to find this light i have learned
you must
first look at your dark within
just like the rainbow that i taped up in
the front window of my house
i have found that the more i can be at
home with my own
darkness the more i am able to extend
light
outside of myself
thank you