How you see me inside these walls

no no

no no stay seated stay seated hi

um my name is rick i’ve been uh i’ve

been a stand-up comic for the last 11

years or so

that’s one of the reasons why they asked

me to come here today another reason

they asked me to come here is that for

the last 15 years i’ve been an officer

in the department of corrections

13 of which at this facility so when

they asked me to do this i

accepted right away and then i asked

them what the theme

the topic was for the for this event and

they told me healthy living

so i was like well i had a good run um

thanks thanks anyways but then they told

me healthy living was acceptable and i

was like well i’ve been

mentally health that also accounts for

that so i was like you know what i’ve

been faking that for years i can do that

for at least four more minutes

so here you might notice i’m not in

uniform today um i didn’t wear uniform

today for a lot of reasons

one i’m on vacation until the 23rd so

i’m not gonna wear that thing whatsoever

two i don’t have any clean laundry and i

won’t probably until the 22nd

so that’s another reason and the main

reason

is that i don’t want to be seen like

that today i want to i want to try and

illustrate that we don’t have to be

the people that everyone sees us as when

we’re behind these walls

everyone who’s in here right now

everyone who walks around today

we all have preconceived notions laid

upon us from the minute we walk in here

like the way officers look at inmates

the way inmates look at officers the way

we all look at each other the way we

look at our own kind

and that’s like and being an officer you

know correction officer in this day and

age

the media paints us a certain way all

the time you know we’re either

they paint us as either like sadistic

apathetic

you know like mean like porn stash and

orange is the new black like that kind

of a person

or the other side of that coin is that

they try and paint us as like

you know lazy overweight out of shape

never mind let’s keep moving on

let’s go let’s uh

let’s go past that a little bit

but we all have our own things going on

you know like people there’s everyone’s

got their own thing going for them like

i’m

a you know i’m a father i’m a comic i’m

a writer i’m a husband

i’m a drinking buddy i’m you know i’m in

the bill’s mafia for life i you know i

have

that’s right that’s right

i’m going to jump through a table when

i’m done with this just uh

just make it but you know what i mean i

can be sarcastic i can be a jerk you

know what i mean that’s just the way it

is

and we all have our own things going on

you know we all have our own

things about us that we have to try and

put out there and it’s

it’s hard you know i mean it’s hard to

not be seen in that light

you know it’s hard to not be seen as you

know a guard

a co a criminal an inmate a murder a

drug dealer you know what i mean like

getting past that

is what we have to do in order to

just to survive you know what i mean and

it seems impossible

but it’s not like you know i mean that

word impossible that’s the problem

is that we least waste a lot of our

lives

thinking about what’s possible and

what’s not and thinking that things are

impossible and the word impossible

that’s with the walls

that are built around us that we build

ourselves it’s not impossible

like 15 years and 100 pounds ago like i

would have thought

like i thought it was impossible to do

25 years in this department like

the end was out of sight it was

impossible

you know now it’s you know it’s

impossible to lose weight if you’re

divorced you think yourself it’s

impossible to meet somebody else it’s

gonna be impossible to fall in love

again

you know it’s going to be impossible to

not be seen as

that criminal you don’t mean to not be

seen as weak to not be seen as

you know you mean you tried your best to

not be seen as just a wife you know what

you mean like there’s a lot of things to

to overcome and that’s and that’s the

problem and those things that we do

those are the walls we build inside our

head and

your will to try and become a better

person like that’s

what you can use to try and break down

these walls and stand on top of the

rubble you know what i mean to be better

because these walls these walls are

around us all the time not just the ones

outside of this building

but the ones in our heads you know what

i mean we’re in the you’re in the

shadows of those walls no matter where

you are

you could be in here you could be on the

ride home and those walls are around you

you know what you mean unless you

try and overcome what these walls are

there’s no way to like feel the breeze

on the other side to see how green the

grass is you know and that’s the thing

that we have to try and we have to try

and be better

in our own heads and that’s the only way

through it that’s the only way like

you’re will to be a better person

that’s the bulldozer you know you mean

that you need to knock down these walls

now i want you all to keep in mind this

is a metaphorical bulldozer i don’t want

to be held responsible for some

sort of an elaborate bulldozer escape

plan that happens here

that’s not what i want to have here um

now for you guys in here that live here

you guys that are locked up

you guys i mean let’s be honest like i

might

you know i should just say it out loud

the deck is stacked against you guys

from the minute you know we put

a sweater on you in jeans and send you

on the bus you know what i mean it’s

it’s hard out there you know what i mean

but it’s not impossible it’s just hard

to try and get a job in a place that

doesn’t trust you

you know what i mean to try and like get

a footing in a world that doesn’t want

you you know what i mean to try and

make a competitive wage at a job that

like you they know that you need them

more than they need you

you know what i mean but and is that

impossible no it’s just

you’ve got to have that that will to get

past it

and that’s what this is you know what i

mean that’s what all of this is that’s

you need to be ready that’s what you’re

training for now every day when you wake

up

you know what i mean because you don’t

have to be the person you were when you

got locked up

you don’t have to be the person you were

yesterday you can wake up tomorrow

and realize that that guy yesterday was

a jerk you know what i mean

and then you can change and that will to

change that’s how you can overcome this

that will to be a better person that

will to

just make a difference in yourself

because that’s where it has to start you

know i mean you can try and change the

world as much as you want

but it’s got to start locally you know

it’s got to start locally as in in your

own head in your own mind in your own

sense of being and that’s uh that’s the

only way we’re gonna get through this

like nothing’s impossible

you know what i mean unless you’re

trying to get a phone call out of me on

an off night then that’s just not gonna

happen i’m just not

i’m just not gonna do it and that’s

honestly all i have for you guys today

i’m gonna keep it breathing thank you

very much and have a good day