The Importance of Setting Boundaries

[Music]

let’s take a moment to tap into our

current experiences and close your eyes

what is the most important thing in your

life

suppose there was a global pandemic in

an hour

who would you go to and who would you

want to be with

if that’s a tour to think think about

the world now

what the world was a month ago a year

ago living a normal life going to school

working eating dinner with families

hanging out with friends going on

vacations

all the things that we took for granted

personally think parent of rice might

have been a lesson for all in each one

of us

of knowing the invaluable part of what

we call

an ordinary life

so many people have lost their families

friends regular lifestyle happiness

struggle for mental illnesses depression

lockdown quarantine and now how much of

a change

has this pandemic brought to you into

our world

like this we don’t really realize how

much of a gifted life we’re living in

with the gifted people around us so now

open your eyes

and think again when the world doesn’t

know comes to end

who would you want to spend the time

with i believe

a lot of them answer your loved ones the

people you care for the most

but what i really want to ask is if

these people are this important to you

how much love are you showing them what

actions are you taking

to show them sometimes people say that

when we get too used to having someone

next to us

such as our families we start taking for

granted until we realize

how important their lives how we should

better treat them better when they’re

finally

not with us in this world

[Applause]

hi my name is ryan and today i’ll be

talking about the importance of setting

boundary

to pursue the love within your loved

ones and for that reason

i’m here to share one of my experiences

of letting you an important part of my

life

and the boundaries that i set for my

family

back when i was in korea which is about

four years ago i was in a professional

soccer team

i was scouted by one of the top three

middle school soccer teams in korea and

of course when i heard about this i was

i’m actually shocked and happy

because soccer was literally everything

i’ve invested my whole childhood in

playing soccer she really reached out

one more step

and becoming an actual one the school

was a boarding school

that was about an hour and a half away

so every weekend i would take an hour

and a half metro to see my family

but you know what the worst part was

that i barely had the time to see them

on friday i passed them at seven in the

night and i was so tired

that i had to limp to the station have

you ever had a feeling

where your legs just can’t stay still

and just constantly vibrate some muscle

overlay

like you’re not walking normally but

within your abnormal walking trying to

find a flow to move a certain direction

like a conscious drunk walk but whatever

by the time i was home it was around 9

00 p.m and my family will be waiting for

me to dinner

stepping inside the house i’ll hear my

mom’s voice coming on me

brian are you here with the joyce and

blizz

the screamings and smiles greetings from

my brothers and sisters

all the effort and exhaustion from

soccer vanishes and feels like pure

happiness

but my time with my family was fleeting

as watching a sentimental loving movie

in the beginning

every tiny part of my heart would be

filled with love romance as i hugged my

mom

laughing with myself and joking my dad

had an inspiration like the end of the

movie how they end up breaking up

tearing your heart into thousands of

pieces my eyes soaking every bit for you

monday but here is it again waking up

six in the morning

getting ready for another week of

training my mom would always drive me to

the station

and seeing my mom car disappears as

you’ve drawn away from the cities

says station in any wish i had more time

with them

sometimes i missed out my dad’s birthday

my little sister’s kindergarten

graduations

all the small events that i could have

attended if not for soccer

in the beginning year of boarding school

i was very passionate about soccer

i really envisioned myself becoming one

of the famous soccer players like son

yet after a year of attending my

performance was not that outstanding

compared to other players i was a middle

fielder a center mid

who plays a crucial role in

transitioning the ball from left to

right

right to left giving through passes the

core of the team

there were three other players fighting

for my started position and soccer is

such a competitive sport

because whenever you made a minor

mistake your coach would just sub you

out which means you devalue yourself and

think you weren’t worth it

because i was one of the hard working

players who really practiced during

midnight when no one was

whose spiritual time of the weekend for

that extra training

to really earn that spot but whenever i

got sub

it made me think if i should give up the

three other players were my best friends

my close friends

but whenever we steps inside the field

we were like three major predators in

the jungle fighting for the top of the

food chain

like lazy before coming out of your eyes

cravings crushed and downs

it’s such a competitive sport and it’s

all that mentality i had to stay strong

but my thick skin didn’t last long and

not so after a year i saw myself

emotionally drained down from the

depression competition to really

maintain my status as a starter

so i knew this time i really had to

think for myself

prioritize my health and make the right

decision the best decision for myself

after a long week of constitution

consideration i decided

to give him soccer and at that time this

was a really big decision for me

i spoke to my parents about it and i

arranged a meeting with my coach

sitting across my coach i was definitely

nervous it was definitely hard because

he would expect me that i would say i

would give up

but i was determined so with clear voice

and confidence i looked them in the eyes

and said

hey coach um lately i’ve been feeling

emotionally dreamed down

and i don’t think i can play soccer

anymore he was shocked

his eyes moved from left to right his

face turned red with disappointment

he didn’t expect me to say but he didn’t

try to make it seem obvious that he’s

doing that but i knew

so after a long five minutes of silence

he calmly sit back

here i am i’m sorry that i don’t know at

the moment

but i’m sure you’re certain with your

decision so i can’t say anything but the

lady god

i wish you good luck in the future it

was on

it was done i said no to soccer and i

placed my boundary

so how was my life after losing

everything i’ve invested it was great

that it was of course it was not easy at

first to imagine the

dream or being a soccer player but time

really

i got into the fitness industry i got

into kinesiology i studied

i tried different muscle variation

myself i met new people who might be my

best friends forever

and i even got into studying which i

hated hated and hated

and most importantly i didn’t miss out

any family dinners

vacations all the small events i was

there

at the present moment whenever i could

this image presents the validity of

small steps

the reason why i’m showing you this

image is because setting boundaries and

showing love doesn’t have to be a major

sacrifice

it could be something simple like muting

your phone before dinner

or a kiss before seat a hug before

school

it shouldn’t be an obligation the action

should be generally preceded by your own

so here’s the steps to setting

boundaries one put yourself in the

future and imagine

if you ever regret the action that

you’re making right now two

if you know that the right decision is

to put your phone away or sparing time

for family vacation

prioritize family over anything and do

it don’t think to yourself

self-compromising but do it

and lastly set the boundaries push away

the things give up the things

that prevents you from happiness and go

to your true values

set the boundaries and make the actions

because the biggest pain

is not losing your loved ones it’s not

getting a chance

to show your true feelings because from

the other person

the only part they see is your actions

they don’t see your emotions

thoughts how much they really mean to

you how much you love them

until it becomes reality so my message

here

is choose to be there in the present

moment

whenever you can thank you