Using Active Listening In Time of Hostility

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[Music]

how do we

understand and communicate with

hostility

evading this issue is not the solution

since we all must at some point

talk to or work with individuals who are

incensed

those interactions can be challenging so

i’d like to discuss a method

which may assist in accomplishing this

goal

caution individuals express and

experience aggression in many forms

therefore our reactions will vary

i’m here to have a conversation with you

regarding a method

which will allow us to communicate with

individuals

in a situation of aggression

active listening is a style that is

utilized in areas of rapport building

and counseling active listening involves

the listener to fully concentrate

understand respond and then remember

what is being said

listening skills establish flow rather

than closed-mindedness

active listening is opposite from any

other listening techniques

such as empathetic and reflective

listening

reflective listening is when the

listener repeats

what the speaker just mentioned to

confirm that both parties understand

now empathetic listening is about giving

others a passage

for one’s emotions

wouldn’t it be nice to be able to accept

new perspectives

on troubling topics that cause emotional

suffering

guess what we already have these

capabilities

the man upstairs gave us this gift so

let’s share it with the world

active listening is strategically vital

serving as an integral part

of any effective and successful leader

with the current social arrests in the

united states it is evident

politicians their advisors policymakers

and representatives of law enforcement

are lacking

these skills

these groups instead become defensive

and reactive

which instigate even more public outcry

with damages and violence in our streets

today we’ll highlight the prospect of

actual listening

associated with empathy open-mindedness

and avoidance of

interruptions

dealing with an adverse crowd in today’s

world one should bear in mind that

something went wrong initially and it is

still falling

short of any positive results

as a retired hostage degree i utilize

active listening

and skills for more than 23 years the

fbi

and my professional and academic opinion

are the architects of modern active

listening skills

they use it in hostage negotiations

interviewing methods

and crisis situations

after i retired from law enforcement i

found myself using active listening

skills in all aspects of my life

and if used consistently you’ll see

promising results

therefore i’m here today to offer an

alternative approach

from a person who has a different idea

on how to take

adverse situation and turn it into a

wrath

of rationality

what i have to say today is continuous

in its complexity

but what it suggests is vital

people we live in a world which consists

of

unstable social and political settings

we need strong leadership and strong

leadership

starts with the ability to notice core

details

and issues challenges and opportunities

this is possible when leaders have a

good grasp of active listening skills

don’t get me wrong what i have to say is

not just about listening

but rather listening with a perspective

of recognizing

the problem and then knowing what others

would say in their approach to resolve

this

issue active listening

is the discrete fashion which serves to

improve infrastructures

with a person or a group the goal is to

introduce different methods of

communication

through open-ended questions rapport

building

dialogue research and observation

all for the sake of reaching a

behavioral change

through encouragement and a harmonious

atmosphere

of cohesiveness and understanding

active listening skills also serve to

reduce the emotional tensions and

outbursts

when a leader encourages more

interaction

and interactive adjustments

it enables us to collect enough data

and additional information to set the

record straight

a variety of goals can be attained with

active listening skills

however the main task is to focus on how

rather than what a person says

for example a tone of your voice

demeanor

the use of pauses and tracking of

emotions during communication

are essential goals within the dna of

active listening

as a listener this is time to introduce

a more meaningful

and focused method in communications

once you use paraphrasing to describe

the overall meaning of your conversation

in your own words this allows the person

who is speaking to you know that you are

listening

therefore it is practical to keep

repeating

some of the main words said by another

person

this ensures that the perspective of the

conversation are being covered

the current situation in the united

states after the tragic death of george

floyd

instigated much physical and verbal

aggression in our streets

making america full of social disorder

and public unrest

the recent misconduct by small and i

said small percent of our country’s law

enforcement officials

has caused an emotional service by the

citizens they swore to protect

morsi pity subsequent to the death

of george floyd america’s streets became

filled with so many aggrieved and

intense citizens

i choose to say the word aggrieved

rather than

angry because it is comfortable to call

someone

angry when you don’t understand their

frustration

however the word of grieve represents

adjectives such as wrong

offended or injured so for the remainder

of this

talk i will use the word aggrieved

at this moment i become clear to the

rest of the world that

something is wrong with this country’s

interdisciplinary approaches

and now calls for justice become more

willingly the country became divided

citizens started adhering to the laws of

the street where the fittest survive

and on the other side of this

pandemonium some groups united to

protect their homes

businesses and communities from looters

and rioters

surfing on the wave of public outcry

the thing is these individuals who

follow the idea of

establishing justice through civil

unrest don’t even try to realize or

evaluate the root cause of the whole

problem

in the negotiations between the

government law enforcement and its

citizens

the missing link relates to the

inability or direct disregard

of active listening skills politicians

law enforcement public figures seem to

follow the wrong meaning of active

listening

these groups instead to incorporate

their judgments counter-attacks

pieces of advice and values into a

conversation

and in return they receive an intense

reaction from the public

however it is more important to focus on

the feelings

values and demands of the opposite

parties

they need someone to listen to them

someone influential and responsible

in this respect empathy is essential to

identify and justify

someone’s feelings pertaining to real

life circumstances

and this can only be possible when

leaders are receptive to the different

views

from the ones who suffer from a

fundamental socio-political

problem which has existed far longer

than i’ve been on this earth

first know how to calm oneself before

trying to enter in negotiation with the

aggrieved

i say to the leaders of this so-called

free country

you must understand that these are

individuals who are hurting

whose tempers are no longer a

significant starting point

of their behavioral reactions and when

this happens

this could lead to individuals feeling

they have nothing to lose

therefore the unsurpassed methods in a

troubling situation is to

start by active empathetic listening

avoiding defensive arguments and

establishing goals to persuade the

contrasting parties

listening to the voices of diverse

people during times of ongoing racial

unrest

is a matter of great responsibility

it is critical to recognize the

significance of other people’s views

and what they’re saying perceiving them

equal and straight to the point

regarding the overall situation and its

issues

letting people voice their concerns in

emotional searches

is absolutely imperative during the

process of active listening

it gives grounds to building trust and

furthering relationships

as the conflicting parties start to make

sure their voices matter

mutual trust is mandatory when shedding

light on issues

from someone else’s perspective even if

talking about the collective idea

of what black lives matter as a movement

embodies

it’s all about recognizing one’s

indignation

which does not require complexity just

active listening

this is the exact outlook that police

and politicians will

take when dealing with an aggrieved

group

it’s highly unlikely that chaotic

transformation and

upfront hostility will lead to a

positive change

and it is night e to think this way or

to keep menacing the protesters and

other involved individuals

for the sake of rapport building and

mutual cohesiveness

communicating in a setting of

confrontation should be non-threatening

and without imposing your own judgment

i’m sorry but why is it

that people of power and influence

tend to anticipate feeling their own

significance

by sharing their own messages and

about this problem and then suggesting

their

own solutions as well read my lips

no one wants to hear your solutions

regarding the problems of others right

now

i say it is time for the people in the

streets to be heard

how is it conceivable that the ones

responsible for our country’s social

disarray

and the ones able to resolve it can’t

even hear the cries from the people they

are supposed to protect

and serve

the main task is to listen actively

making certain you

understand then orchestrate all the

pieces together

to develop an optimistic depiction of

the issue

this approach is better served when we

disregard our desires to want to

squabble with a hostile crowd

strategies of communication require

significant variations

therefore we must reroute these

strategies

onto a path of decision making further

interaction

and collaborate with the community

personally knowing the situation from

the inside out

by having a direct relation to the law

enforcement profession

as a retired police officer more

importantly

as a black man i would suggest

looking for more advisors from different

fields

to introduce an interdisciplinary and

cross-cultural approach to the problem

ladies and gentlemen everything matters

in this context

but the primary role should go to active

listening

full of empathy and acceptance of

diversity

active listening techniques are designed

to allow an unreceptive group

transform into a consistent community

open to negotiations and rational

conclusions

aggrieved individuals in the so-called

free country want more understanding

and it starts with the state of being

understood

with no interruptions or judgments in

your response

everybody has a voice and everyone has

something to say

let us show appreciation and value to

their voices

our streets cry of independent values

ideas of

equity serenity and cooperation

hence there is a critical point of

suspending one’s judgment

and turning to active listening which is

open within the scope of effective

for effective and rational leaders

our countries agree want to be

understood

so by indicating your purpose and to

halt judgment

and recognize the aggrieved individuals

without becoming angered yourself

we as a society can help defuse a

hostile situation

active listening is comprised of a

cognizant effort

from the listener to reserve one’s

desire

and to understand the need of an

aggrieved community

so in summary as i observe our country’s

leaders and policy makers attempt to

negotiate in a society facing

uncertainty and civil unrest i will

illustrate my skepticism by citing from

the late minister malcolm x

oh i say and i say it again we have been

had

we have been took we have been

hoodwinked

bamboozled let us stray run amok

this is what they do

ladies and gentlemen we must not allow

those sentiments to resurface again

i am crux conception and i thank you for

the privilege

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