The 3 As of awesome Neil Pasricha

so the awesome story

it begins about 40 years ago when my mom

and my dad came to Canada my mom left

Nairobi Kenya

my dad left a small village outside of

Amritsar India and they got here in the

late 1960s they settled in the shady

suburb about an hour east of Toronto and

they settled into a new life they saw

their first dentists they ate their

first hamburger and they had their first

kids my sister and I grew up here and we

had quiet happy childhoods we had close

family good friends I’m quiet street we

grew up taking for granted a lot of the

things that my parents couldn’t take for

granted when they grew up things like

power always on in our houses things

like schools across the street in

hospitals down the road and popsicles in

the backyard

we grew up in we grew older I went to

high school I graduated I moved out of

the house I got a job I found a girl I

settled down and I realized that sounds

like a bad sitcom or a Cat Stevens song

but life was pretty good life was pretty

good 2006 was a great year under clear

blue skies in July in the wine region of

Ontario I got married

surrounded by 150 family and friends

2007 was a great year I graduated from

school and I went on a road trip with

two of my closest friends here’s a

picture of me and my friend Chris on the

coast of the Pacific Ocean we actually

saw seals out of our car window and we

pulled over to take a quick picture of

them and then block them with our giant

heads so you can’t actually see him but

it was breathtaking

believe me 2008 2009 were a little

tougher I know that they were tougher

for a lot of people not just me first of

all the news was so heavy it’s still

heavy now and it was heavy before that

but you know when you flip open a

newspaper when you turned on the TV it

was about ice caps melting wars going on

around the world earthquakes hurricanes

in an economy that was wobbling on the

brink of collapse and then eventually

did collapse and so many of us losing

our homes or our jobs or our retirements

or our livelihoods 2008 2009 were heavy

years for me for another reason - I was

going through a lot of personal problems

at the time my marriage wasn’t going

well and we just were growing further

and further apart one day my wife came

home from work and summoned the courage

through a lot of tears to have a very

honest conversation and she said I don’t

love you anymore and it was one of the

most painful things I’ve ever heard and

certainly the most heartbreaking thing

I’d ever heard until only a month later

when I heard something even more

heartbreaking my friend Chris who I just

showed you a picture of had been

battling mental illness for some time

and for those of you whose lives have

been touched by mental illness you know

how challenging it can be I spoke to him

on the phone at 10:30 p.m. on a Sunday

night

we talked about the TV show we watched

that evening and Monday morning I found

out that he disappeared very sadly he

took his own life and it was a really

heavy time and as these dark clouds were

circling me and I was finding it really

really difficult to think of anything

good I said to myself that I really

needed a way to focus on the positive

somehow so I came home from work one

night and I logged onto the computer and

I started up a tiny web site called

1,000 songs calm I was trying to remind

myself of the simple Universal little

pleasures that we all love we just don’t

talk about enough things like waiters

and waitresses who bring your free

refills without asking being the first

table to get called up to the dinner

buffet at a wedding wearing warm

underwear from just out of the dryer or

when cashiers open up the new checkout

line at the grocery store you get to be

first in line even if you’re laughs at

the other line swoop right in there

and you know slowly over time I started

putting myself in a better mood

I mean fifty thousand blogs are started

a day and so my blog was just one of

those fifty thousand and nobody read it

except for my mom although I should say

that my traffic did skyrocket and go up

by a hundred percent when she forwarded

it to my dad

and then I got excited when it started

getting tens of hits and then I started

getting excited when I started getting

dozens and then hundreds and then

thousands and then millions started

getting bigger and bigger and bigger and

then I got a phone call and the voice

the other in the line said you just won

the best blog in the world award I was

like that sounds totally fake which

African country do you want me to wire

all my money to

but turns out I jumped on a plane and I

ended up walking a red carpet between

Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Fallon and

Martha Stewart but I went on stage to

accept a Webby Award for best blog and

the surprise and the you know just the

amazement of that was only overshadowed

by my return to Toronto when in my inbox

ten literary agents were waiting for me

to talk about putting this into a book

flash forward to the next year and the

book of Awesome has now been on number

one on the bestseller list for 20

straight weeks

but look I said I wanted to do three

things today I want to tell you the

awesome story I want to share with you

the three A’s of Awesome and I wanted to

leave you with the closing thought so

let’s talk about those three A’s over

the last few years I haven’t had that

much time to really think but lately I

have had the opportunity to take a step

back and ask myself you know what is it

over the last few years that sort of

helped me grow my website but also grow

myself and I’ve summarized those things

for me personally as three A’s they are

attitude awareness and authenticity

let’s just talk about each one briefly

so attitude look we’re all going to get

lumps and we’re all going to get bumps

none of us can predict the future but we

do know one thing about it and that’s

that it ain’t going to go according to

plan

we will all have high highs and big days

and proud moments of smiles on

graduation stages father-daughter dances

at weddings and healthy babies

screeching in the delivery room but

between those high highs we may also

have some lumps and some bumps too it’s

sad and you know it’s it’s not pleasant

to talk about but you know your husband

might leave you your girlfriend could

cheat your headaches might be more

serious than you thought or your dog

could get hit by a car on the street

it’s not a happy thought but your kids

could get mixed up in gangs or bad

scenes your mom could get cancer your

dad could get mean and there are times

in life when you will be tossed down the

well too with twists in your stomach and

with holes in your heart and when that

bad news washes over you and when that

pain sponges and soaks in I just really

hope you feel like you’ve always got two

choices one you can swirl and twirl in

gloom and doom forever

or two you can grieve and then face the

future with newly sober eyes having a

great attitude is about choosing option

number two and choosing no matter how

difficult it is no matter what pain hits

you choosing to move forward and move on

and take baby steps into the future the

second day is awareness

I love hanging out with three-year-olds

I love the way that they see the world

because they’re seeing the world for the

first time I love the way that they can

stare at a bug crossing the sidewalk I

love the way that they’ll stare

slack-jawed at the first baseball game

with wide eyes and a mitt on their hand

soaking in the crack of the bat and the

crunch of the peanuts and the smell of

the hot dogs I love the way that looks

spend hours picking dandelions in the

backyard and putting them into a nice

centerpiece for Thanksgiving dinner I

love the way that they see the world

because they’re seeing the world for the

first time having a sense of awareness

is just about embracing your inner

three-year-old because you all used to

be three years old that three year old

boy is still part of you that three year

old girl is still part of you they’re in

there and being aware it’s just about

remembering that you saw everything

you’ve seen for the first time once too

so there was a time when it was your

first time ever hitting a string of

green lights on the way home from work

it was there was the first time you

walked by the open door of a bakery and

smelt smelt the bakery air or the first

time you pulled the $20 bill out of your

old jacket pockets that sound money the

last day is authenticity and for this

one I want to tell you a quick story

let’s go all the way back to 1932 when

on a peanut farm in Georgia a little

baby boy named Roosevelt Grier was born

who’s about career or rosey Grier’s

people used to call him grew up and grew

into 300 pounds 6 foot 5 linebacker in

the NFL he’s number 76 in the picture

here he is pictured with the fearsome

foursome these are four guys in the LA

Rams in the 1960s you did not want to go

up against they were tough football

players doing what they loved which was

you know crushing skulls and separating

shoulders on the football field but

rosey Grier also had another passion in

his deep deeply authentic self he also

loved needlepoint

he loved he left knitting he said that

it calmed him down it relaxed him a tip

away his fear of fly and helped him meet

chicks he said I mean he loved it so

much that after he retired from the NFL

he started joining clubs and he even put

out a book called rosey Grier’s

needlepoint for men and a great cover

he’s actually if he knows he’s actually

needle pointing his own face and so what

I love about this story is that rosey

Grier is just such an authentic person

and that’s what authenticity is all

about it’s just about being you and

being cool with that and I think when

you’re authentic you end up following

your heart and you put yourself in

places and situations and in

conversations that you love and that you

enjoy you meet people that you like

talking to you go places you’ve dreamt

about and you end up following your

heart and feeling very fulfilled so

those are the three A’s for the closing

thought I want to take you all the way

back to my parents coming to Canada now

I don’t know what it would feel like

coming to a new country when you’re in

your mid-20s I don’t know because I

never did it but I would imagine that it

would take a great attitude I would

imagine that you’d have to be pretty

aware of your surroundings and

appreciating the small wonders that

you’re starting to see in your new world

and I think you’d have to be really

authentic you’d have to be really true

to yourself in order to get through what

you’re being exposed to I’d like to

pause my TED talk for about 10 seconds

right now because you don’t get many

opportunities in life to do something

like this and my parents are sitting in

the front row so I want to ask them to

if you don’t mind stand up and just I

want to say thank you to you guys

when I was growing up my dad uses love

telling the story of his first day in

Canada and it’s a great story because

what happened was he got off the plane

at the Toronto Airport and he was

welcomed by a non-profit group which I’m

sure someone in this room runs and and

this nonprofit group had a big welcoming

lunch for all the new immigrants to

Canada my dad says he got off he got off

the plane he went to this lunch and

there was this huge spread there was

bread there was those little mini dill

pickles

it was olives those little white onions

there was a rolled-up turkey cold cuts

rolled-up ham cold cuts rolled up roast

beef cold cuts a little cubes of cheese

there was tuna salad sandwiches and egg

salad sandwiches and salmon salad

sandwiches there was lasagna

there was casseroles there was brownies

there was butter tarts and there was

pies lots and lots of pies and when my

dad tells the story he says the craziest

thing was I never seen any of that

before except bread I don’t know what

was meat I was vegetarian I was eating

olives with pie you know

I just I just couldn’t believe how many

things you can get here when I was when

I was five years old my dad used to take

me grocery shopping and he would stare

and wonder at the little stickers that

are on the fruits and vegetables he

would say look can you believe they have

a mango here from Mexico they’ve got an

apple here from South Africa can you

believe they got a date from Morocco

he’s like do you know where Morocco even

is and I’d say I’m five I don’t know

where I am just an P and he’d say I

don’t know where Morocco is either well

let’s find out and so we buy the day and

we’d go home and we’d actually take an

atlas off the shelf and we’d flip

through until we found this mysterious

country and when we did my dad would say

can you believe someone climbed a tree

over there pick this thing off it put it

in the truck drove it all the way to the

docks and then sailed it all the way

across the Atlantic Ocean and then put

it in another truck and drove that all

the way to a tiny grocery store just

outside our house so that they could

sell it to us for 25 cents that’s I

don’t believe that he’s like I don’t

believe it either things are amazing

there’s just so many things to be happy

about when I stop to think about he’s

absolutely right there are so many

things to be happy about there we are

you know the only species on the only

life-giving Rock in the entire universe

that we’ve ever seen capable of

experiencing so many of these things I

mean we’re the only ones with

architecture and agriculture we’re the

only ones with jewelry and democracy

we’ve got airplanes highway lanes

interior design and horoscope signs

we’ve got fashion magazines house party

scenes you can watch a horror movie with

monsters you can go to a concert here’s

guitars jamming we’ve got books buffets

and radio waves wedding brides and

rollercoaster rides you can sleep in

clean sheets you can get go to the

movies and get good seats you can smell

bakery air walk around with rain hair

pop bubble wrap or taking a legal map we

got all that

but we only got a hundred years to enjoy

it that’s the sad part the cashiers at

your grocery store the foreman at your

plant the guy tailgating you home on the

highway the telemarketer calling you

during dinner every teacher you’ve ever

had everyone that’s ever woken up beside

you every politician in every country

every actor in every movie every single

person in your family everyone you love

everyone in this room and you will be

dead in a hundred years life is so great

that we only get such a short time to

experience and enjoy all those tiny

little moments that make it so sweet and

that that moment is right now and those

moments are counting down and those

moments are always always always

fleeting you will never be as young as

you are right now and that’s why I

believe that if you live your life with

a great attitude choosing to move

forward and move on whenever life deals

you a blow living with a sense of

awareness of the world around you

embracing your inner three-year-old and

seeing the tiny joys that make life so

sweet and being authentic to yourself

being you and being cool with that

letting your heart lead you and putting

yourself in experiences that satisfy you

but I think you live a life that is rich

and it’s satisfying and I think you live

a life that is truly awesome thank you