How paralysis helped me find my true 100

[Music]

[Applause]

hey everybody

i’m drake white i’m a musician

an artist i love bouncing across stages

all over the world

i love music this was me

last year rocking and rolling

[Music]

so

so that’s it that’s what i’m passionate

about

i love that i love that oxygen-rich

blood that pumps through my soul

when i’m getting to do that i love

pushing it to the brink

to the edge because i believe that’s

what the song

that’s what the fan that’s what they

deserve

what do you love what makes the room

change colors

when you think about it do you feel that

that slight pressure in the back your

mind

see i’m a relentless optimist i always

have been to the point where

when i bait the hook and throw the bait

in

i think i’m going to catch a fish every

time when i pick up a pen to write a

song

i think that next song that’s going to

change the world

might just not come out actually i know

it’s going to come out

it’s just part of me i love that

relentless

optimism my favorite quote

is be alert adventure can strike from

any direction

and that’s from a very wise man named

buzz lightyear

see i got a headache in 2019

this wasn’t any headache it gripped my

brain and would

not let go

man i i’ve had a couple of hangovers but

never a headache like this this was

insane and it landed me in the emergency

room

that emergency room visit

told me that i had a wad of veins and

arteries in the back right side of my

brain

called an arterial venous malformation

an avm this avm

was sounds scary and it was scary

but i really wasn’t worried about

anything

i mean i was going to live

my biggest worry was that that stage was

going to be taken away from me

that i wasn’t going to get to do what i

loved

that that 100 percent that i once had

was out of reach was gone maybe you’ve

been there

maybe you’ve strived to climb the ladder

to do something that you love and that

you’re passionate about only to have

that fire

inside your chest extinguished

i don’t know maybe it was a profound

failure or an addiction

or you know a family matter

but whatever it was you’re 100

feels lost you feel like it’s gone

well i came out here today because we’re

wrong

and we’re not wrong because these crazy

things don’t happen

we’re wrong because

we don’t understand what 100 percent

really is

you see it looks like this

passion pressure progression because

we’re passionate

we feel this pressure to progress along

this never-ending trajectory

this ladder to the sky

and it gets us young even as infants

we’re talk to hold our head up then

we’re taught to roll over

then we’ll talk to crawl and then walk

and if any point in that

that scenario we back down it’s just

unacceptable

who we are today isn’t enough

for tomorrow

i got the diagnosis um

when i got the diagnosis from the

doctors i went in

had a bunch of of appointments at the

hospital

and i came in and we started laying out

the groundwork of how to take care of

this

avm the day

i’m sitting in the doctor’s office

doctor walks in

to cover this and i look at his name

tag and i’m sitting there kind of

squinting and it says doctor of

neurology

or brain surgeon

but his name is what stood out to me

dr robert miracle

holy moses i mean my brain surgeon’s

name was dr miracle

talk about relentless optimism this guy

laid out a

an amazing plan he said i’m going to

perform these

embolization surgeries by running a

catheter up your femoral artery up into

the back of your brain

accessing this avm

and i’m gonna pump it full of glue

this is going to take about six to eight

months we’re going to see how you do

with these surgeries and the good news

and what i was wondering is you’ll be

able to continue with your career

doing what you love we can schedule

these out on mondays

and you can jump on a plane or a bus and

meet your band and crew

wherever they’re at in the world um as

long as you feel good

that’s all i needed to know the green

light

the gl the green light was lit the fire

was lit i called everybody i knew and

said

let’s go let’s get this band together

let’s get this tour together

and let’s go out there and do what we

love to do

so off we went

now performing with this avm

was a little different for me i’ve been

used to

bouncing all over the stage not really

caring about anything except for

going for it and i approached this first

show

kind of like a deer approaches a field

very carefully

my biggest fear was that avm would

rupture

and we didn’t want that but there was

only a four percent chance of that

happening

so i picked my spots and went for it

i got on stage and that first show went

off without a hitch

we were we were good kind of dodged a

bullet

well two shows turned to three

three to four four to five and before i

knew it

i had completed three embolizations in

about 25

30 shows

fourth of july came and went and august

was hot

august the 12th was my fourth

embolization

and we went through it and dr america

was confident that he had

80 percent of this avm embolized

that he had 80 percent of it shut off

with this good news i could approach the

next

next rest of our tour with my mind on

that music

instead of my health we blasted off and

were set to go

to roanoke virginia and then myrtle

beach south carolina two of my favorite

places

we loaded the bus blazed off to roanoke

not knowing that we would never make it

to the beach

we got to roanoke virginia and it was 9

a.m in the morning and i kind of went

through my

morning routine a cake up a coffee try

to find a breakfast spot and

really look for antique stores and try

to find some good

guitar deals or try to find a vintage

hat like the one i got on

we uh we went through the day went

through

sound check kept everything rolling and

it was a normal day

before we knew it it was showtime now

this

amphitheater was gorgeous about 2500

people started filing in

the sky looked like a cotton candy

and it was ferris wheels and funnel

cakes

the noises the sounds

man it just lights me on fire today i

love it

so we kicked into the set and i ripped

off a couple of songs you know two or

three songs pretty quickly to get the

to get the blood pumping you know to get

the sweat going

and we had them right there they were

right there with us you know

to the point where i could just feel i

could feel the air moving

in the in the little amphitheater

i decided to bring it down for a song

called the coast is clear

this song feels like your grandmother

playing

organ in church on sunday morning it’s

very peaceful

and it’s padding and about that time i

felt a little tingle

in the left side of my arm that tangle

ran down the left side of my leg

and i looked down

and i realized that i was holding the

microphone as tight as i could but it

felt like i was going to drop it

my left leg felt like i had a 12 inch

cinder block on the end of it all of a

sudden

very heavy and that cotton candy sky

started spinning

about that time i looked up and tried to

tried to get the words out and i

couldn’t

and i heard a i heard a pop and that pop

was that avm the rest of that avm

rupturing

causing me to have what is called a

hemorrhagic stroke

now i was drug off stage

wrapped in a sheet and put on a

stretcher

i went for giving my all across every

stage

in the world that i that i found myself

on

to being hauled around from place to

place like a giant burrito

i remember being backstage and breathing

in through my nose out through my mouth

and through my nose out through my mouth

and thinking

drake if you just keep breathing you’re

not dead

i made that choice to keep going keep

doing to keep

keep going

i made it through the night and i

remember

yearning for a miracle for dr miracle

for my wife for

my family

the next morning i woke up

and i could feel my wife’s presence

there it felt comforting

and this next part of the story is

probably the toughest

part for me

i couldn’t really feel my leg i couldn’t

feel my toes i couldn’t move them at all

and i could hear my wife praying behind

me

just talking softly

and i looked down and i saw her hand

laying in my hand but i couldn’t do

anything i couldn’t squeeze it

i couldn’t feel it and this flood of

thoughts and emotions kind of went

through me

was i ever going to be able to dance in

the kitchen with her again

was i going to be able to play baseball

with my future kids

man i almost lost it

to the point where i started to cry and

i asked her i said

i told her i said i’m i’m paralyzed

i’m not going to be able to do this and

that we’re not going to be

and she stopped me very calmly and she

said drake

you’re not paralyzed you’ve had a

hemorrhagic stroke

and you’re suffering from paralysis that

this brain bleed has caused

and what we’re going to do right now

we’re going to make the choice

to to go to these therapy sessions

to go to rehab we’re going to make the

choice

to keep pushing to keep going because

you you haven’t put 30

000 people in madison square garden yet

buddy you haven’t won any grammys yet we

don’t have kids yet

so we’re gonna make the choice right now

to be an inspiration to keep going

that was amazing to have that in that

moment

as we kind of transitioned back home a

lot of my friends from the music

industry

came by to see me and

they came by to talk to me and

my uh one of my friends and

guys is a great part of my team he came

in and

he just asked me how i was doing i said

man i’m doing

i’m doing good but i’m ready to get back

to the stage i’m ready to get back to

this spot

you know to where i can perform and he

looked at me like i had three heads

and he said drake

you can’t perform you don’t have your

100 percent

that 100 percent i don’t think he said

it like that he said

you’re not at 100 percent and yes i

wasn’t at 100 percent

but i had a new 100 percent a 100

percent

that had a story

that was deeper that was more passionate

and i wanted to share it

in our 100 our life does not follow this

straight line

you know and neither does our potential

it’s not about how we compare

to past versions of herself

our true 100 is our ability to achieve

joy

by leaving it all on whatever stage

we’ve chosen

it’s about giving our whole heart and

laying down our life force

no matter how great or small as an

offering

to what we adore

nowadays i get to go and i’ve met a

couple of people

with abms one is this

21 year old football player ex-football

player

that uh his avm ruptured and it stole

his ability to speak

and i told him man look at us

living with these insane pressures in

our head these things that have been

robbing blood adequate blood flow from

us our entire lives

can you imagine what we’re going to be

able to do when we get these things

fixed

can you imagine what we are going to be

able to do

when we’re healthy you may be able to

speak mandarin

or find a cure for cancer i may be able

to write like dylan or play like

jimi hendrix i don’t know but

the sky’s the limit

my point my point was we’re all living

with this insane pressure

whether it be social media or anything

like that we’re living with this insane

pressure to keep going to keep moving

forward

and i want to ask you today what is that

pressure

that you feel in the back of your head

pulsing threatening

to take away what you love about your

life and i want you to crush it

i want you to embolize it

and i want you to know that when we’re

cheering you on we’re not cheering you

on because

you hit that high note that you’ve never

hit before

we’re not cheering you on because you’ve

climbed higher on the scaffolding

than you’ve ever climbed before we’re

cheering you on because

you gave us your full heart and as long

as you know that

that is what defines your 100 percent

we will never have to give anything less

thank you