How paralysis helped me find my true 100
[Music]
[Applause]
hey everybody
i’m drake white i’m a musician
an artist i love bouncing across stages
all over the world
i love music this was me
last year rocking and rolling
[Music]
so
so that’s it that’s what i’m passionate
about
i love that i love that oxygen-rich
blood that pumps through my soul
when i’m getting to do that i love
pushing it to the brink
to the edge because i believe that’s
what the song
that’s what the fan that’s what they
deserve
what do you love what makes the room
change colors
when you think about it do you feel that
that slight pressure in the back your
mind
see i’m a relentless optimist i always
have been to the point where
when i bait the hook and throw the bait
in
i think i’m going to catch a fish every
time when i pick up a pen to write a
song
i think that next song that’s going to
change the world
might just not come out actually i know
it’s going to come out
it’s just part of me i love that
relentless
optimism my favorite quote
is be alert adventure can strike from
any direction
and that’s from a very wise man named
buzz lightyear
see i got a headache in 2019
this wasn’t any headache it gripped my
brain and would
not let go
man i i’ve had a couple of hangovers but
never a headache like this this was
insane and it landed me in the emergency
room
that emergency room visit
told me that i had a wad of veins and
arteries in the back right side of my
brain
called an arterial venous malformation
an avm this avm
was sounds scary and it was scary
but i really wasn’t worried about
anything
i mean i was going to live
my biggest worry was that that stage was
going to be taken away from me
that i wasn’t going to get to do what i
loved
that that 100 percent that i once had
was out of reach was gone maybe you’ve
been there
maybe you’ve strived to climb the ladder
to do something that you love and that
you’re passionate about only to have
that fire
inside your chest extinguished
i don’t know maybe it was a profound
failure or an addiction
or you know a family matter
but whatever it was you’re 100
feels lost you feel like it’s gone
well i came out here today because we’re
wrong
and we’re not wrong because these crazy
things don’t happen
we’re wrong because
we don’t understand what 100 percent
really is
you see it looks like this
passion pressure progression because
we’re passionate
we feel this pressure to progress along
this never-ending trajectory
this ladder to the sky
and it gets us young even as infants
we’re talk to hold our head up then
we’re taught to roll over
then we’ll talk to crawl and then walk
and if any point in that
that scenario we back down it’s just
unacceptable
who we are today isn’t enough
for tomorrow
i got the diagnosis um
when i got the diagnosis from the
doctors i went in
had a bunch of of appointments at the
hospital
and i came in and we started laying out
the groundwork of how to take care of
this
avm the day
i’m sitting in the doctor’s office
doctor walks in
to cover this and i look at his name
tag and i’m sitting there kind of
squinting and it says doctor of
neurology
or brain surgeon
but his name is what stood out to me
dr robert miracle
holy moses i mean my brain surgeon’s
name was dr miracle
talk about relentless optimism this guy
laid out a
an amazing plan he said i’m going to
perform these
embolization surgeries by running a
catheter up your femoral artery up into
the back of your brain
accessing this avm
and i’m gonna pump it full of glue
this is going to take about six to eight
months we’re going to see how you do
with these surgeries and the good news
and what i was wondering is you’ll be
able to continue with your career
doing what you love we can schedule
these out on mondays
and you can jump on a plane or a bus and
meet your band and crew
wherever they’re at in the world um as
long as you feel good
that’s all i needed to know the green
light
the gl the green light was lit the fire
was lit i called everybody i knew and
said
let’s go let’s get this band together
let’s get this tour together
and let’s go out there and do what we
love to do
so off we went
now performing with this avm
was a little different for me i’ve been
used to
bouncing all over the stage not really
caring about anything except for
going for it and i approached this first
show
kind of like a deer approaches a field
very carefully
my biggest fear was that avm would
rupture
and we didn’t want that but there was
only a four percent chance of that
happening
so i picked my spots and went for it
i got on stage and that first show went
off without a hitch
we were we were good kind of dodged a
bullet
well two shows turned to three
three to four four to five and before i
knew it
i had completed three embolizations in
about 25
30 shows
fourth of july came and went and august
was hot
august the 12th was my fourth
embolization
and we went through it and dr america
was confident that he had
80 percent of this avm embolized
that he had 80 percent of it shut off
with this good news i could approach the
next
next rest of our tour with my mind on
that music
instead of my health we blasted off and
were set to go
to roanoke virginia and then myrtle
beach south carolina two of my favorite
places
we loaded the bus blazed off to roanoke
not knowing that we would never make it
to the beach
we got to roanoke virginia and it was 9
a.m in the morning and i kind of went
through my
morning routine a cake up a coffee try
to find a breakfast spot and
really look for antique stores and try
to find some good
guitar deals or try to find a vintage
hat like the one i got on
we uh we went through the day went
through
sound check kept everything rolling and
it was a normal day
before we knew it it was showtime now
this
amphitheater was gorgeous about 2500
people started filing in
the sky looked like a cotton candy
and it was ferris wheels and funnel
cakes
the noises the sounds
man it just lights me on fire today i
love it
so we kicked into the set and i ripped
off a couple of songs you know two or
three songs pretty quickly to get the
to get the blood pumping you know to get
the sweat going
and we had them right there they were
right there with us you know
to the point where i could just feel i
could feel the air moving
in the in the little amphitheater
i decided to bring it down for a song
called the coast is clear
this song feels like your grandmother
playing
organ in church on sunday morning it’s
very peaceful
and it’s padding and about that time i
felt a little tingle
in the left side of my arm that tangle
ran down the left side of my leg
and i looked down
and i realized that i was holding the
microphone as tight as i could but it
felt like i was going to drop it
my left leg felt like i had a 12 inch
cinder block on the end of it all of a
sudden
very heavy and that cotton candy sky
started spinning
about that time i looked up and tried to
tried to get the words out and i
couldn’t
and i heard a i heard a pop and that pop
was that avm the rest of that avm
rupturing
causing me to have what is called a
hemorrhagic stroke
now i was drug off stage
wrapped in a sheet and put on a
stretcher
i went for giving my all across every
stage
in the world that i that i found myself
on
to being hauled around from place to
place like a giant burrito
i remember being backstage and breathing
in through my nose out through my mouth
and through my nose out through my mouth
and thinking
drake if you just keep breathing you’re
not dead
i made that choice to keep going keep
doing to keep
keep going
i made it through the night and i
remember
yearning for a miracle for dr miracle
for my wife for
my family
the next morning i woke up
and i could feel my wife’s presence
there it felt comforting
and this next part of the story is
probably the toughest
part for me
i couldn’t really feel my leg i couldn’t
feel my toes i couldn’t move them at all
and i could hear my wife praying behind
me
just talking softly
and i looked down and i saw her hand
laying in my hand but i couldn’t do
anything i couldn’t squeeze it
i couldn’t feel it and this flood of
thoughts and emotions kind of went
through me
was i ever going to be able to dance in
the kitchen with her again
was i going to be able to play baseball
with my future kids
man i almost lost it
to the point where i started to cry and
i asked her i said
i told her i said i’m i’m paralyzed
i’m not going to be able to do this and
that we’re not going to be
and she stopped me very calmly and she
said drake
you’re not paralyzed you’ve had a
hemorrhagic stroke
and you’re suffering from paralysis that
this brain bleed has caused
and what we’re going to do right now
we’re going to make the choice
to to go to these therapy sessions
to go to rehab we’re going to make the
choice
to keep pushing to keep going because
you you haven’t put 30
000 people in madison square garden yet
buddy you haven’t won any grammys yet we
don’t have kids yet
so we’re gonna make the choice right now
to be an inspiration to keep going
that was amazing to have that in that
moment
as we kind of transitioned back home a
lot of my friends from the music
industry
came by to see me and
they came by to talk to me and
my uh one of my friends and
guys is a great part of my team he came
in and
he just asked me how i was doing i said
man i’m doing
i’m doing good but i’m ready to get back
to the stage i’m ready to get back to
this spot
you know to where i can perform and he
looked at me like i had three heads
and he said drake
you can’t perform you don’t have your
100 percent
that 100 percent i don’t think he said
it like that he said
you’re not at 100 percent and yes i
wasn’t at 100 percent
but i had a new 100 percent a 100
percent
that had a story
that was deeper that was more passionate
and i wanted to share it
in our 100 our life does not follow this
straight line
you know and neither does our potential
it’s not about how we compare
to past versions of herself
our true 100 is our ability to achieve
joy
by leaving it all on whatever stage
we’ve chosen
it’s about giving our whole heart and
laying down our life force
no matter how great or small as an
offering
to what we adore
nowadays i get to go and i’ve met a
couple of people
with abms one is this
21 year old football player ex-football
player
that uh his avm ruptured and it stole
his ability to speak
and i told him man look at us
living with these insane pressures in
our head these things that have been
robbing blood adequate blood flow from
us our entire lives
can you imagine what we’re going to be
able to do when we get these things
fixed
can you imagine what we are going to be
able to do
when we’re healthy you may be able to
speak mandarin
or find a cure for cancer i may be able
to write like dylan or play like
jimi hendrix i don’t know but
the sky’s the limit
my point my point was we’re all living
with this insane pressure
whether it be social media or anything
like that we’re living with this insane
pressure to keep going to keep moving
forward
and i want to ask you today what is that
pressure
that you feel in the back of your head
pulsing threatening
to take away what you love about your
life and i want you to crush it
i want you to embolize it
and i want you to know that when we’re
cheering you on we’re not cheering you
on because
you hit that high note that you’ve never
hit before
we’re not cheering you on because you’ve
climbed higher on the scaffolding
than you’ve ever climbed before we’re
cheering you on because
you gave us your full heart and as long
as you know that
that is what defines your 100 percent
we will never have to give anything less
thank you