How To Create A Life You Love With Vision
welcome
to the future
my name is nakimbe oya oshan baobab
i am an empowered life specialist
if you don’t have the business you want
the relationships you want
the sex success money fortune and fame
you want
if you’re not getting the attention you
want or if you’re not the person
you really want to be if you don’t have
the job you want
or the body you want if you don’t have
the health
the youth or the looks you want or if
you don’t like parts of yourself
very much if you don’t have the courage
or the confidence you want and if you
feel
weak and you don’t have the strength or
the self-expression you want
if you don’t have the freedom the
independence the respect you want
the validation you want or the happiness
you’re looking for
and if you’re not living life on your
own terms and in your own way
i can guarantee you it’s because you do
not have a clear vision of yourself
and your life that list i just rattled
off for you
i had none of those things and now i
have all of those things
and it’s because i created a clear
vision for myself
lived into that vision and made it my
reality
and i’m going to show you how you can do
it too
the thing about visions is that most
people don’t understand or recognize
their power to create
their world and change situations around
them
a vision is not a visualization and a
vision is bigger than a vision board
a vision is greater than a goal
you see a goal is just some finite thing
that you go after and once you get once
you get it it’s done for example
you want to go to school become a lawyer
lose weight
get a boyfriend get a girlfriend etc
those are goals
visions are infinite and they encompass
the life you really want to live overall
in the dictionary a vision is defined as
the ability
to plan or think about the future with
imagination
and wisdom in business they have a term
they use when
thinking about or setting the direction
of a company’s growth
they call it a vision statement
and just as you can have a vision
statement for your business
you can also have a vision statement for
your life
i first came to know the term vision
statement about 25 years ago when i had
to write my very first
business plan and i thought to myself
wow
how cool is that what if i created a
vision statement for myself
and my life what would that look like or
how would my life turn out so about 10
years ago that’s exactly what i did
and i’m excited to show you how it all
turned out
but first i want to convey to you why
this message is so important
i’ve seen people live their lives on
repeat
constantly doing the same
self-destructive thing
over and over and over again
sometimes missing out on love or health
or business or financial success
simply because they had the wrong vision
of themselves or
they were stuck in someone else’s
predefined
vision of them the relationships
the self-esteem the money the health
all of it can be yours if you understand
this one thing
you can create the life you want for
yourself
if you have a clear vision
the thing about visions is because they
contain wisdom and imagination they are
not
bound to the confines of space and time
visions are a part of a continuum
visions have a history a presence and a
future
and in order for you to actualize your
vision you have to
start at the beginning
what’s your story and what’s your
history
before you answer those questions i want
you to know that there are
intergenerational stories
and intergenerational visions societal
norms
gender norms and information that has
been passed on to you by your parents
religion and the media these notions
need to be deconstructed in order for
you to create a vision
of your very own
here’s why that’s important you see
you can adopt a vision of yourself that
you are aware of
that serves you well but you can also
adopt a vision of yourself that you are
not aware of that does not serve you
well and in fact
hinders you those are called blind spots
and they can drastically skew your
vision of yourself
let’s take me for example let’s go over
my history
my father immigrated to toronto in 1972
from trinidad and tobago he wanted
nothing more than for me to attend
the university of toronto that was his
dream
that was his vision for me when i was a
young girl he would say
look you’re black
you’re female you have no choice
but to get your education in this world
or you’re going to have a very difficult
time
so that’s what i did i went out i got
good grades i got my education
and i adopted my father’s vision of me
for myself
as if it were my own and that served me
very well in life of course i
was very successful in my academic
career and in my business life
however i was also terribly codependent
and that’s because as a young girl i
adopted another vision of myself
that i was not worthy of unconditional
love
and that’s because as wonderful and
amazing as my father was
he wasn’t always as emotionally
available to me
as i had hoped he would be so therefore
having constructed a vision out of
myself out of that
experience it wasn’t at all uncommon or
unfamiliar if i entered relationships
where i didn’t always feel fulfilled
so finally at the age of 35 fed up
with being in a relationship that did
not honor me i took off to live in japan
for one year my goal was to create a new
vision for myself
and uncover the person that i really
wanted to be
here’s a poem that i wrote and i hope it
helps you understand
i didn’t like myself very much as a kid
i was
living out a lie that lie caused me pain
i didn’t want to live with that pain
anymore so i deconstructed the lie
and dismantled the pain until i became
a blank slate free to create
the vision of me i always wanted to be
now i am that person and now i live an
empowered life
i’m going to give you an example of a
lie that i deconstructed and dismantled
that helped me to double my
income in just one year
apparently at some point i had created a
vision of myself
where i believed that white men would
not do business with me
because i was a black woman
in order to overcome this obstacle i
created a very powerful affirmation card
for myself
and i would say it every single day
until it sunk deep
into my subconscious
i am a money magnet and i deserve
wealth i can be as rich and wealthy
as anyone i’m completely comfortable
with my wealth and accepted by my
wealthy peers
i deserve success and since then not
only is my business
thriving but i’m very highly regarded
and respected
by some of the top white and non-white
businessmen and business women in the
world
now since shifting my vision over 10
years ago
i have completed my mba i’ve won awards
i was in the relationship i waited my
whole entire life
to be in i’m traveling i’m living in a
very nice condo downtown
i’m attending conferences i’ve got a
nutritionist and a personal trainer
and everything is wonderful
until it’s not
you see your vision can get you things
like success health and relationships
but your vision can also help you get
through things
like difficult situations challenges
and obstacles i’m going to tell you a
story about how my vision
really helped me about three years ago
it was becoming
abundantly clear to me that my 20 year
old daughter was having some type of
mental health issue
i was dealing with this all on my own as
the love of my life was away for work at
the time
i couldn’t wait for him to come home so
i could tell him what was going on and
that he could just
hold me but
we ended up breaking up over something
else instead
losing my baby girl and my partner at
the same time were incredibly
challenging for me to handle
despite this however i’m still working
very hard in my business
and it’s still growing and it’s doing
quite well
and i’m doing it but now i’m doing it
alone
and i didn’t know who i was doing it for
or
what i was doing it for anymore
besides that i was tired
i was tired of working and i was tired
of working so
damn hard
i was absolutely visionless at that time
but then i had to realize that my vision
wasn’t about my ex
my vision wasn’t about my daughter my
vision was about me
and my life i knew i still had a vision
for myself
and i still had a vision for my business
i have a vision of me traveling and
living freely
and that’s why i started my company
mapped him international
a digital marketing company and mobile
application development company
so that i could work anywhere in the
world i want to as long as i have a
computer and the internet
i also recorded all of my marketing
campaigns
in a web series called m slice tv
marketing with a slice of life on the
side
to make it as easy as possible for my
children
to follow in case they wanted to work in
it one day or take it over
the reason for that is because a part of
the vision i have for myself
is also of leaving a legacy of wealth
for my children however you have to
understand that
your vision is not always just about
wealth and the accumulation of material
things
your vision is also about the person you
want to be
and who you want to become and building
character
for example there were times in my life
where i felt
incredibly weak when all i wanted to do
was
feel incredibly strong
my vision allowed me to do that too
about one year after breaking up with my
ex
i ran into him at the corner store we
gave each other that
polite embrace but when i walked out of
the store
i knew something was different i was
different
i wasn’t the same person anymore i loved
him
but i wasn’t going back and that was
huge for me
it was a powerful moment because i was
now the person i wanted to be
in actuality and real in reality and not
just the vision that i had of myself
in my head as i said
it was very powerful
now before i go i just want to talk to
you about the role that parents
play in shaping their children’s vision
my father’s vision for me was to attend
the university of toronto
and not only did i do that but my son
also did that and graduated with
distinction
i graduated as an outstanding
undergraduate research
award winner so my father’s vision of
education has been passed down to a
whole other
generation my vision is also coming to
play right here today
because i’m getting to speak to you and
to do that on this stage in this campus
is
extra special because that guy who just
came on before me mars the poet who’s
living out his vision
he’s my son
and that is how visions have
intergenerational impact and can shape
an entire
lineage okay so now what happens
if you can’t complete your vision is it
possible that you can still feel good
about your life well i hope this helps
you find the answer
about four months ago my father passed
away of cancer
towards the end of his life i wasn’t
quite confident that he felt
satisfied with how it all turned out and
that saddened me
i really wanted my father to know and to
feel like he was a success
two days before he passed away i said
these final words to him
i said dad i know you may not feel like
your life was a success or maybe it
turned
didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to
because you didn’t get the big house or
the fancy cars
but at the end of the day as you can see
none of those
things really matter what matters is the
legacy
that you leave behind you did
everything you came to this earth to do
which was true
my father was exactly the father that he
needed to be to make me
the woman that i am today a respected
successful educated
badass fully self-expressed woman
entrepreneur
and i can’t wait to see
[Applause]
i can’t wait to see what your vision
does for you
but remember this no matter the outcome
you may have a big impact on somebody’s
life
you could be part of a bigger larger
vision
and not even know it that makes
you and me and everyone
significant special and worthy
and that is the highest vision of
yourself
that you must hold
so now in the intentional and relentless
pursuit of your vision
i want you to ask yourself these four
questions today
in this very moment
what is your history and how does it
impact
the current vision that you have of
yourself
also what is the real vision that you
want to have yourself in this
present moment and how will that impact
your future
so no matter what the answer to that
question i wish you
great clarity and 20 20 vision
because vision gives direction
direction gives purpose and once your
purpose starts to unfold
then your vision happens effortlessly
and easily
so remember this don’t ever
stop don’t ever quit
no matter what you do hold on to your
vision
and just keep on going
thank you
[Applause]