How To Create A Life You Love With Vision

welcome

to the future

my name is nakimbe oya oshan baobab

i am an empowered life specialist

if you don’t have the business you want

the relationships you want

the sex success money fortune and fame

you want

if you’re not getting the attention you

want or if you’re not the person

you really want to be if you don’t have

the job you want

or the body you want if you don’t have

the health

the youth or the looks you want or if

you don’t like parts of yourself

very much if you don’t have the courage

or the confidence you want and if you

feel

weak and you don’t have the strength or

the self-expression you want

if you don’t have the freedom the

independence the respect you want

the validation you want or the happiness

you’re looking for

and if you’re not living life on your

own terms and in your own way

i can guarantee you it’s because you do

not have a clear vision of yourself

and your life that list i just rattled

off for you

i had none of those things and now i

have all of those things

and it’s because i created a clear

vision for myself

lived into that vision and made it my

reality

and i’m going to show you how you can do

it too

the thing about visions is that most

people don’t understand or recognize

their power to create

their world and change situations around

them

a vision is not a visualization and a

vision is bigger than a vision board

a vision is greater than a goal

you see a goal is just some finite thing

that you go after and once you get once

you get it it’s done for example

you want to go to school become a lawyer

lose weight

get a boyfriend get a girlfriend etc

those are goals

visions are infinite and they encompass

the life you really want to live overall

in the dictionary a vision is defined as

the ability

to plan or think about the future with

imagination

and wisdom in business they have a term

they use when

thinking about or setting the direction

of a company’s growth

they call it a vision statement

and just as you can have a vision

statement for your business

you can also have a vision statement for

your life

i first came to know the term vision

statement about 25 years ago when i had

to write my very first

business plan and i thought to myself

wow

how cool is that what if i created a

vision statement for myself

and my life what would that look like or

how would my life turn out so about 10

years ago that’s exactly what i did

and i’m excited to show you how it all

turned out

but first i want to convey to you why

this message is so important

i’ve seen people live their lives on

repeat

constantly doing the same

self-destructive thing

over and over and over again

sometimes missing out on love or health

or business or financial success

simply because they had the wrong vision

of themselves or

they were stuck in someone else’s

predefined

vision of them the relationships

the self-esteem the money the health

all of it can be yours if you understand

this one thing

you can create the life you want for

yourself

if you have a clear vision

the thing about visions is because they

contain wisdom and imagination they are

not

bound to the confines of space and time

visions are a part of a continuum

visions have a history a presence and a

future

and in order for you to actualize your

vision you have to

start at the beginning

what’s your story and what’s your

history

before you answer those questions i want

you to know that there are

intergenerational stories

and intergenerational visions societal

norms

gender norms and information that has

been passed on to you by your parents

religion and the media these notions

need to be deconstructed in order for

you to create a vision

of your very own

here’s why that’s important you see

you can adopt a vision of yourself that

you are aware of

that serves you well but you can also

adopt a vision of yourself that you are

not aware of that does not serve you

well and in fact

hinders you those are called blind spots

and they can drastically skew your

vision of yourself

let’s take me for example let’s go over

my history

my father immigrated to toronto in 1972

from trinidad and tobago he wanted

nothing more than for me to attend

the university of toronto that was his

dream

that was his vision for me when i was a

young girl he would say

look you’re black

you’re female you have no choice

but to get your education in this world

or you’re going to have a very difficult

time

so that’s what i did i went out i got

good grades i got my education

and i adopted my father’s vision of me

for myself

as if it were my own and that served me

very well in life of course i

was very successful in my academic

career and in my business life

however i was also terribly codependent

and that’s because as a young girl i

adopted another vision of myself

that i was not worthy of unconditional

love

and that’s because as wonderful and

amazing as my father was

he wasn’t always as emotionally

available to me

as i had hoped he would be so therefore

having constructed a vision out of

myself out of that

experience it wasn’t at all uncommon or

unfamiliar if i entered relationships

where i didn’t always feel fulfilled

so finally at the age of 35 fed up

with being in a relationship that did

not honor me i took off to live in japan

for one year my goal was to create a new

vision for myself

and uncover the person that i really

wanted to be

here’s a poem that i wrote and i hope it

helps you understand

i didn’t like myself very much as a kid

i was

living out a lie that lie caused me pain

i didn’t want to live with that pain

anymore so i deconstructed the lie

and dismantled the pain until i became

a blank slate free to create

the vision of me i always wanted to be

now i am that person and now i live an

empowered life

i’m going to give you an example of a

lie that i deconstructed and dismantled

that helped me to double my

income in just one year

apparently at some point i had created a

vision of myself

where i believed that white men would

not do business with me

because i was a black woman

in order to overcome this obstacle i

created a very powerful affirmation card

for myself

and i would say it every single day

until it sunk deep

into my subconscious

i am a money magnet and i deserve

wealth i can be as rich and wealthy

as anyone i’m completely comfortable

with my wealth and accepted by my

wealthy peers

i deserve success and since then not

only is my business

thriving but i’m very highly regarded

and respected

by some of the top white and non-white

businessmen and business women in the

world

now since shifting my vision over 10

years ago

i have completed my mba i’ve won awards

i was in the relationship i waited my

whole entire life

to be in i’m traveling i’m living in a

very nice condo downtown

i’m attending conferences i’ve got a

nutritionist and a personal trainer

and everything is wonderful

until it’s not

you see your vision can get you things

like success health and relationships

but your vision can also help you get

through things

like difficult situations challenges

and obstacles i’m going to tell you a

story about how my vision

really helped me about three years ago

it was becoming

abundantly clear to me that my 20 year

old daughter was having some type of

mental health issue

i was dealing with this all on my own as

the love of my life was away for work at

the time

i couldn’t wait for him to come home so

i could tell him what was going on and

that he could just

hold me but

we ended up breaking up over something

else instead

losing my baby girl and my partner at

the same time were incredibly

challenging for me to handle

despite this however i’m still working

very hard in my business

and it’s still growing and it’s doing

quite well

and i’m doing it but now i’m doing it

alone

and i didn’t know who i was doing it for

or

what i was doing it for anymore

besides that i was tired

i was tired of working and i was tired

of working so

damn hard

i was absolutely visionless at that time

but then i had to realize that my vision

wasn’t about my ex

my vision wasn’t about my daughter my

vision was about me

and my life i knew i still had a vision

for myself

and i still had a vision for my business

i have a vision of me traveling and

living freely

and that’s why i started my company

mapped him international

a digital marketing company and mobile

application development company

so that i could work anywhere in the

world i want to as long as i have a

computer and the internet

i also recorded all of my marketing

campaigns

in a web series called m slice tv

marketing with a slice of life on the

side

to make it as easy as possible for my

children

to follow in case they wanted to work in

it one day or take it over

the reason for that is because a part of

the vision i have for myself

is also of leaving a legacy of wealth

for my children however you have to

understand that

your vision is not always just about

wealth and the accumulation of material

things

your vision is also about the person you

want to be

and who you want to become and building

character

for example there were times in my life

where i felt

incredibly weak when all i wanted to do

was

feel incredibly strong

my vision allowed me to do that too

about one year after breaking up with my

ex

i ran into him at the corner store we

gave each other that

polite embrace but when i walked out of

the store

i knew something was different i was

different

i wasn’t the same person anymore i loved

him

but i wasn’t going back and that was

huge for me

it was a powerful moment because i was

now the person i wanted to be

in actuality and real in reality and not

just the vision that i had of myself

in my head as i said

it was very powerful

now before i go i just want to talk to

you about the role that parents

play in shaping their children’s vision

my father’s vision for me was to attend

the university of toronto

and not only did i do that but my son

also did that and graduated with

distinction

i graduated as an outstanding

undergraduate research

award winner so my father’s vision of

education has been passed down to a

whole other

generation my vision is also coming to

play right here today

because i’m getting to speak to you and

to do that on this stage in this campus

is

extra special because that guy who just

came on before me mars the poet who’s

living out his vision

he’s my son

and that is how visions have

intergenerational impact and can shape

an entire

lineage okay so now what happens

if you can’t complete your vision is it

possible that you can still feel good

about your life well i hope this helps

you find the answer

about four months ago my father passed

away of cancer

towards the end of his life i wasn’t

quite confident that he felt

satisfied with how it all turned out and

that saddened me

i really wanted my father to know and to

feel like he was a success

two days before he passed away i said

these final words to him

i said dad i know you may not feel like

your life was a success or maybe it

turned

didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to

because you didn’t get the big house or

the fancy cars

but at the end of the day as you can see

none of those

things really matter what matters is the

legacy

that you leave behind you did

everything you came to this earth to do

which was true

my father was exactly the father that he

needed to be to make me

the woman that i am today a respected

successful educated

badass fully self-expressed woman

entrepreneur

and i can’t wait to see

[Applause]

i can’t wait to see what your vision

does for you

but remember this no matter the outcome

you may have a big impact on somebody’s

life

you could be part of a bigger larger

vision

and not even know it that makes

you and me and everyone

significant special and worthy

and that is the highest vision of

yourself

that you must hold

so now in the intentional and relentless

pursuit of your vision

i want you to ask yourself these four

questions today

in this very moment

what is your history and how does it

impact

the current vision that you have of

yourself

also what is the real vision that you

want to have yourself in this

present moment and how will that impact

your future

so no matter what the answer to that

question i wish you

great clarity and 20 20 vision

because vision gives direction

direction gives purpose and once your

purpose starts to unfold

then your vision happens effortlessly

and easily

so remember this don’t ever

stop don’t ever quit

no matter what you do hold on to your

vision

and just keep on going

thank you

[Applause]