Seventeen in Quarantine

[Music]

[Applause]

two weeks

that’s what they told us on my last day

of high school

well at least i hope not and it was in

those two weeks

that i realized that this virus

and this microscopic thing that nobody

could touch

and nobody could see was what was

keeping us apart

from our friends and our family and away

from

everything that we loved and i wrote

this poem

it was the first one i wrote for my book

and i wrote it

when the two-week break was still a

possibility

and i wrote it in regards to humanity

and if

the virus was taking us out why were we

trying to do the same to each other

we’re just humans we’re just people we

should be loving each other

not trying to hurt each other and that

was the inspiration behind this first

poem that i’m about to tell you guys and

this one’s called

the world was never ours

and in these times of uncertainty and

scare

we’re reminded of our own morality

the world is reminded of the pain and

the suffering

that comes with being a human being

and regardless of technology advances

wars

and seemingly perfect lives we’re

nothing but cells with a conscience

if something so small can take out the

globe

why are we trying to do the same thing

to each other

this next poem i remember writing i was

sitting on my balcony on the last day of

summer

overlooking the city and i came

and i realized that i could think about

all the things

that didn’t get to happen this summer

all of the moments

that i didn’t get to share with my

friends the parties we didn’t get to

throw

and the trips that i didn’t get to go on

but i had to stop myself

because some of the most amazing

relationships in my life

the best people that i know i never

would have met had coven not happened

and the memories and the creative ways

that i got to see my friends

also never would have happened and

even my book i never would have written

it and

i feel like the second that we stop

focusing on just the bad

and we stop spiraling down these holes

is when we start to see a little bit of

hope

and we start to feel like there’s a

little bit of purpose

behind what’s going on and while i can’t

tell you what that purpose is right now

i know that there’s got to be some of it

and this next one’s called

some divine plan and maybe we were never

meant to see

what could have been without the world

ending

the way our lives would have progressed

without the newfound strength

the memories or the creativity

the relationships we built and the ones

we found

didn’t matter anymore the shallow holes

we were swimming in

became deep holes of prosperity we never

knew we needed

so i don’t think we were ever meant to

see what could have been

because without the world ending our

lives would never have changed

i posted my senior pictures on instagram

in july

with some caption about having an online

senior year

and some boy in the grade below me

commented

maggie people are dying

and let me tell you that shook me up

i immediately felt awful who was i to be

upset

about logging into a zoom call instead

of walking into a classroom

when there were people that were losing

their jobs and people that were

dying and i wrestled with this for a

really long time

but i came to the conclusion that humans

cannot control the way we feel about

things we just do

and one person’s feelings does not

devalue

another’s and after i published this

book

some people that were really close to me

had a lot to say

and they told me that i couldn’t publish

a book about a global pandemic

but i think that’s the beauty of it

because

this is the biggest story that i’ve ever

been a part of

and there’s seven billion sides

and it’s my side to

the story and i’m 17.

and if you want to read it you can if

you don’t that’s fine too

but sharing my feelings i hope can help

someone else

find validity through their humanity

and that was the inspiration behind this

poem and this one’s called

will this ever end remember when it was

april 6th

april 20th april 30th

next year for sure september 18th

october 8th hopefully next semester

please stop crying

what if my life wasn’t made of half

experiences

where when things get good they

disappear

into my own little figment but relax

because people are dying

my eyes burn from the screens my head

hurts from the tears

my lungs burn from the masks and my

heart burn hurts from the memories

but relax people are dying

never easy i know that but i thought the

world could give me a break

something i once enjoyed has me

completely burnt out

please stop crying

the days seem to slip away into the same

mundane routine

virtual classes with no learning eating

lunch alone

constant sadness but relax

people are dying

why is this the way my childhood has to

end

i can’t be in solitude overthinking

everything

feeling so beaten down but relax

people are dying i transferred high

schools

as a junior and while there are plenty

of struggles that come with switching

high schools halfway through

you know meeting new friends and already

formed social circles

or even transferring my credits

the biggest for me was going from my

private suburban high school

to a public inner city one let me tell

you

i was terrified but the people at my new

school

were some of the most caring kind

understanding and diverse people

and they welcomed me with such open arms

and love

and they were so excited to hear my

story and know who i was

and i had never felt that before and so

i wrote this poem

not only as a reflection on my past but

as a thank you to them

and this one’s called beauty and

brokenness

and suddenly the world in which she

surrounded herself

was one of purity and love the walls

that once enclosed her

and the fears that once debilitated her

came crumbling down

with her perfect reputation but to her

finally that was okay

and finally the people that she ran to

were the ones who truly cared

and for the first time since forever

someone actually wanted her there

i’ve always loved the metaphor that

people are like stars

how by themselves they shine but

together they glow in these gorgeous

galaxies and constellations

and beyond that i’ve always loved that

every single person on this earth has a

story

to tell and it’s always been hard for me

to understand

that i will never know all seven billion

of those stories

and of the fraction of people that i do

get to meet

i won’t know them all fully and i

remember writing this poem

and i looked up at stars and i looked

back at the people i was with

and i thought to the people that i love

and i came to the conclusion

that the people in my life have to

outweigh

the experiences that i’ll never have

they have to outweigh

the places that i’ll never go and all

the people that i’ll never meet

and the stars that i’ll never get to

touch because there’s

quite a lot of things that i will never

get to do

and right now my support system does

that for me and i think everybody’s

support system needs to do that for them

and this slowly became one of my

favorite poems that i’ve ever written

and this one’s called my trip to the

stars

there are so many stars i’ll never see

people i’ll ever meet places i’ll never

go

but for the first time maybe ever the

people that filled my world

my tiny sweet little world

where the people that made life worth it

the people i’ll never meet the places

i’ll never go

the stars i’ll never see don’t matter

anymore

because the world is far too big far too

vast

and that’s okay i don’t have to see the

world

i don’t have to touch the stars because

my world was what i needed

the universe picked me to be the person

that i am

and the stars are mine i see them in the

people i know

the people that i love the stars are

mine

thank you

[Music]

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