The magic of self love and forgiveness

i aspire to inspire till i expire hi

folks my name is mannini day you know me

as a film and television actress i’m a

voice artist i’m an empath a parent a

healer and i work for animals for

children and for women’s rights

you know today is a very very beautiful

day that i am getting to share my story

with you which is no less than a 70 mm

film yes

there is nothing small about my life for

sure from the time that i was born i was

born in the seventh month

my mother was told not to get attached

to me because i may not make it but my

mother saw me in that incubator with my

feisty little thin arms you know

absolutely uh should i say boxing in the

air and and being really feisty and my

mother said this kid is definitely going

to make it

ever since

that time my journey has not been a very

easy one i’m not going to give you some

sort story because my life is

nothing close to a stop story it has

been a story of a warrior of somebody

who has learned to surmount

somebody who stands in her power in her

magnificence in self-belief

did it happen overnight was i born like

this no no far from it i was a very

underconfident child i was always told

that i’m not goodly looking enough i was

told that i don’t fit into the boxes of

society i have to behave this way i have

to sit that way oh my god my natural

exuberance is too much for people to

take why am i so sensitive oh my god why

am i so emotional why am i so empathetic

you know these wise wise wise really

used to trouble me and i used to think

i’m an alien who’s been dropped on this

planet at the wrong time by the wrong

person

right at the wrong address

but by and by i realized that i was not

ever meant to fit into boxes

i’m a genie in a bottle trust me i feel

like a genie and the day this genie

actually came out of the bottle

everything that she was told about

herself got deconstructed broken smashed

and that’s the day i realized

that i

am unique like each one of you i have my

own life path my own purpose

mark twain said that the two most

important days of your life are the day

you were born and the day you realize

your purpose

when i was born i realized my journey is

not going to be an easy one and trust me

it isn’t it wasn’t

but my purpose when i started finding

that out after a lot of questioning to

the universe was simple

love

i was here to spread love i’m here to

be compassionate to have empathy to be a

sense of

you know

how do you say sense of uh to give you a

sense of security to strengthen you to

empower you to make you believe in your

own magnificence because my story is

one

that actually exemplifies

courage

under

fire or grace under fire so i begin from

my childhood uh my parents uh

you know upper middle class uh we lived

in delhi my mother was a bureaucrat

father was a businessman um all the

possible comforts were given to us uh

but i went through something in my

childhood

and that

was a certain kind of an abuse which

changed my entire perception to the

world

i went through uh sexual abuse at the

hands of somebody who was known to the

family and that really sort of impacted

my uh my relationships later on uh the

fear that you know people said oh

because you’re so exuberant that’s why

you attract this kind of attention

that’s not true that is not true

i did not know how to have uh

boundaries i was too young nobody taught

me that this is not right or that is not

right and i lived in fear

and that fear really took away all my

confidence it took away all that

exuberance that i had and i i fell in

love with books i lost myself in

literature i lost myself in

in a make-believe world i had

make-believe friends i had imaginary

companions and it was great because

i couldn’t really relate to real people

because either they were too harsh or

they were too judgmental or they didn’t

understand uh why i think the way i do

or the way that i i i speak and i’ve

been a monkey since my childhood now you

would say what’s a monkey monkey

somebody who can copy very fast if i see

something i immediately catch it i i can

i can

you know um

kind of uh

sort of

imbibe it very fast i used to uh enact

certain conversations that i had heard

snatches of it in front of my

colony kids okay and they used to find

me very amusing so i realized that

despite being told that i was not

conventionally good looking i was bad at

maths it means that i was not sharp

enough or bright enough i had this one

gift within me which was basically that

i was an entertainer within me i was

very lonely i was i was

miserable i didn’t know what to do but i

have always transmuted all my pain into

my power

and that is my superpower because uh

any any rocks that have been thrown in

me i’ve built a castle out of that

so you can’t keep me down for too long

my my spirit is too strong too feisty

too amazing you can’t keep me down and

nothing and nobody can do that to me um

when i was growing up

because i didn’t understand what

self-love was i started attracting

many kinds of people you know who who

would uh kind of

take a lot away from me and i i just

wanted to please them i was a people

pleaser today in hindsight i i

understand that how detrimental it was

to my mental health so i i took up a

course i studied cognitive behavior

therapy because i wanted to know who i

am until i get to know who i am i

wouldn’t be able to help anybody and

that kind of opened my life you know

understanding somebody’s psyche that

that wounded people or hurt people hurt

people so you can’t be judgmental which

is not to say that hurting somebody is

right i’m not justifying it i’m just

saying that certain people who hurt you

a lot need a lot more compassion than

the others maybe they’re not able to

express so your childhood is your

foundation if your childhood is scarred

or marred or if it is it is not healthy

mentally

it impacts the rest of your life your

relationships your entire worldview your

perception and that’s exactly what

happened with me

well

i decided i am not going to cry over it

i have thrown a lot of pity parties to

myself trust me i’m not going to lie

here stand here and say oh i’ve always

been very very strong no no no no no

there have been moments when i’ve sat on

the floor uh laid on the floor cried

scrammed prayed every possible thing but

you know what the only answer was baby

girl your own savior you are your own

savior you are your own rescue

and then one day i told myself enough

enough of begging for love enough of

begging for support i am going to be my

own superwoman

and this is where i stand today this

journey has been one of ups and downs

that you can can’t even fathom i’ve been

criticized i’ve been called names i mean

like all of us right and i didn’t fit

into any box so i was not good enough

for everybody but the day i realized

that you know what i can’t please

everybody

let me begin by pleasing myself it’s

very tough for me

self love

aircraft

it doesn’t work like that you have to

balance

you can give but if you don’t know how

to take

you live in imbalance

so my relationships taught me how to

understand how powerful how how amazing

i was and i actually thank each one of

them for showing me one aspect of me

that i couldn’t see you know

plain i mean truth was hiding in plain

sight and i just couldn’t see it so

i always believe that every obstacle

that comes is an opportunity for growth

and i mean every word of what i say

every time that i have received hurt

every time i’ve had a heartbreak every

time that i’ve been criticized every

time that i’ve been you know uh thrown

to the wolves i have come back leading

the pack because i have an innate sense

of

strength i believe in the divine my

currency

is faith i know there is somebody up

there who handles everything so

beautifully

so the divine walks with me i am the

favorite child of god and god said i

want to see how you ace it so here i am

standing in front of you this girl who

was not considered good looking enough

uh became the face of 93 was chosen for

feminism in senior 1994 uh thanks to

sushmita sen i need to thank her because

she was the one who actually believed in

me and she prodded me to fill up my form

thank you sush um i came back with two

crowns miss congeniality miss

personality and my whole life changed

one more thing i need to tell you every

time i said never

ever is when i was made to do it so

don’t tempt faith i never say never

again whatever experiences come i

embrace them even as an actor i believe

that every character has come to me to

teach me one aspect of myself to show me

the mirror about the areas that i needed

to work upon

and some characters absolutely tore me

broke me deconstructed me and some

characters made me

see that strength in me that i had not

seen before

you know creativity is a very create the

creative field is a very immersive a

very very collaborative field

so many energies come together and

that’s when something is made i realize

how important teamwork is i realize how

important it is to be vulnerable it’s

not an easy thing but as actors we show

you the naked self from within the heart

the soul the vulnerability of a

character and that makes me

feel like i am very blessed to be a

an accidental actor because i never

wanted to be an actor and it’s crazy

that everything i’ve said no to i have

become so i never said never another

thing that i realized in life was

you know people who criticize you if you

start looking at it as criticism you

will start hating them but if you see

them as people who are trying to show

you something in you

you will make them teachers

everybody that you meet in your life’s

journey is here to teach you something

some come for lessons

some come in as blessings my mom used to

say that some people come for a season

and some people come for a reason and

some people stay forever i don’t know

about the forever because for me forever

only exists in disney movies

so i live in the moment and it’s been a

tough journey for me living in the

moment i’m here i’m now this is me

so

all that i need to

share with you all all that i want to

tell you is

that please wake up that sleeping giant

within you you are simply amazing you’re

magnificent your passions the way you

are the way you talk the way you you

know you you process information is

unique to you

two thumb prints are not same

so two people are not the same please

understand that you are a unique gift of

the divine from the divine to this world

let’s make this world a beautiful place

by actually understanding that love is

the only superpower you know we can make

nuclear missiles we can make nuclear

fossil we can create i don’t know what

not arms and this and that and the other

but the need of the hour is only love

and compassion

hurt people hurt people so next time

somebody hurts you please understand

that maybe this person is really hurting

from inside which is not to say that you

you uh forgive them for what they’re

doing but

make peace for yourself forgiveness a

very important thing which i used to not

you know it wasn’t even on on the

horizon i realize forgiveness

is for your own peace for your own

sanity

you cannot be somebody who’s who’s

prosperous or fruitful or or flourishing

if you keep things in your heart that

are not for your highest good

so delete

everything that is not meant for your

highest good people will come you will

get hurt there will be heartbreaks it’s

okay you’re human right

this

three-dimensional world is your school

and you’re here to take certain lessons

that you chose so stop blaming the lord

above and start taking responsibility

for the lessons that you need to take

and ace them that’s it

and that’s the day i understood one

thing being humble being grounded being

being um you know

it’s my strength

today having walked through

labyrinths of

labels and and names and i don’t know

what else

holding

a very very firm belief in my heart that

wherever life takes me i will go with

the flow i have stopped

going against the flow

i don’t resist anymore i let go and i

let god so my message to you would be

please look at yourself in the mirror

today recognize how amazingly blessed

you are be in gratitude because it is a

superpower trust me the minute you are

in gratitude the universe shifts and

it’s it’s absolutely amazing there is

cause and effect everything that’s

happening to you has been caused by you

start taking responsibility stop lying

to yourself if there is an issue if

there is an area that you need to work

on address it have no shame you are only

answerable to yourself and nobody else

so end of the day remember one thing

you are you you do you

because nobody else can be you this is

mani day saying thank you to sd college

chandigarh for this amazing opportunity

and tedx is is is a platform that you

know i i’m a huge fan of because i

believe we are all here to inspire we

are all here to

make

many of our fellow men fellow women

recognize their splendor their strengths

their passion their their you know what

they are they’re forces of nature

and the beauty is that when you can hold

each other’s hands and say you’re

amazing never forget that so never let

anybody tell you otherwise you are

simply magnificent you’re the most

exquisite creation

of the divine yes turbulences will come

yes tsunamis will come nobody said they

won’t life is not supposed to be a bed

of

roses

well not no it isn’t

so

now you dance through those labyrinths

and

you make it your magnum opus

thank you so much thank you and god

bless