Flamenco Is My Fight

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[Applause]

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ah

[Music]

so

i was diagnosed with ewing sarcoma a

deadly form of bone cancer when i was

five years old

at the time i was just beginning my

dance journey

i went from the sounds of classical

piano while i plead at the bar

to the sounds of irritating beeps and

authoritative voices

telling me to be a good patient i was

not a good patient

i ran away from my hospital bed often

it took 10 doctors and nurses just to

hold me down to give me a shot

eventually they had to put me in a crib

with a net over it

even then i think i was already dancing

flamenco

this was my first solia

the part of the flamenco dance where the

individual dancer expresses

their joys and sorrows

flamenco is both the national dance of

spain and the up your stance of the roma

people

the roma people were a persecuted people

they migrated from india over a thousand

years ago and settled all over the world

but especially

in spain

both the spanish government and the

catholic church did not look too kindly

on flamenco dance until well into the

20th century

just like anyone who feels different

separate or marginalized like a

five-year-old girl with cancer

flamenco is about owning

one’s identity

the first time i met a flamenco dancer

she came in the form of a doll called

miss spain

from her long ruffled skirt to her lace

top and the red rose in her hair i was

smitten

she went through a lot during my

childhood her clothing became tattered

and torn

my brothers tried to behead her

eventually a leg went missing

but i loved her she was my favorite doll

and she survived well

into my adulthood

over the years the chemotherapy and

radiation that had saved my life

kept me from living

i tried to dance but it was getting

harder

one day

my doctor told me

my bone cancer had returned

he extended my left leg and placed his

hand karate chop style below my knee

within a week

i was an amputee

i survived in case you hadn’t noticed

i eventually learned how to walk again

but visibility was scary

i retreated into academia where i had

great success

i lived all over europe

i learned new languages

i had lots of romances

this was the time of my paseo

or passage

a time when i felt excited

and hopeful

about my future

but i sensed

something

was coming

i was 33.

i was living in switzerland working at

the united nations

when i fell ill

i was hospitalized and diagnosed with

acute kidney failure

just like my five-year-old rebellious

self

i ran away from the hospital and found

myself standing next to a field

of sunflowers

but yes

i asked myself

do i want to stay

do i want to live

i returned to the hospital

the doctors and nurses were furious with

me

but i was proud

after a few weeks recovering in the

swiss hospital

i was forced to come back to the united

states

where i continued my dialysis treatment

for 11

years i became one of the first amputee

yoga teachers in the united states

i wrote lots of books and articles about

yoga i got married and divorced

and eventually

received my beloved kidney transplant

i had survived and i needed to dance

flamenco again

guajitas

i dance flamenco for hours each week

it is where i go my sacred time to

express

all the hidden layers of joy and sorrow

that are part of my story

i dance flamenco to prove that i am

alive

that i have survived

and that joy is my birthright

just like the roma people

who created this dance

i stake my claim

and demand

my right to be here

this is my story

this is my dance this is my

soleia

um

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you