Battling Depression Anxiety and the Mental Health Stigma

i don’t want to be here anymore

this was a phrase that my parents heard

me say to them one january night when i

was in 7th grade

i hadn’t had symptoms of depression and

or anxiety before this moment

and i felt like the thought had overcome

me within the previous 24 hours

before this moment i was completely

overwhelmed

and thought to myself that it would just

be easier if i didn’t have to do

anything anymore my parents were

terrified

and so are the many other parents

friends and families

whose loved ones have also spoken these

words

unfortunately some people have kept this

phrase inside themselves

to the point where it is too late and

they are no longer at a place to get

help

why is a phrase so scary so terrifying

something that people feel like they

will be judged for saying

the stigma against mental illnesses

especially depression and anxiety

stems from a long line of shame for what

you are feeling

the history of mental illnesses dates

back to ancient egypt and rome

called hysteria it’s it

was believed to be linked to the uterus

and corals and

and symptoms included paralysis and

hallucinations

women did not reveal their symptoms due

to the fear that sharing was too

intimate because of where it was

believed to stem from

the uterus given the lack of

understanding

and humiliation surrounding hysteria

women were reluctant to come forward

to get treatment for the women who did

come forward

there were little to no treatments

available in the middle ages

the church believed that hysteria was

caused

by a link between the woman’s uterus and

the devil

religious ceremonies and exorcisms were

forcibly performed

on any woman showing signs of mental

illness

in the 1600s it was discovered that

hysteria is not linked

to the uterus but to the nervous system

and brain

making people even more fearful of the

power of a mental illness

now that a man could get a diagnosis too

men were supposed

to be strong the idea that they could

struggle from something

was terrifying in the 1975 movie

one flew over the cuckoo’s nest the

audience is drawn

in by the horrifying depiction of mental

illness

randall mcmurphy’s diagnosis of a mental

illness

prompts a series of events inside the

psychiatric hospital where he is a

patient

which ends with him being sent into

electric shock therapy

the depiction of this horrific therapy

as the only treatment for his mental

illness

contributes to the societal belief that

this is what treating mental health

looks like

but it’s not anyone can get treatment of

any kind and there should not be no

shame surrounding it

all feelings man or woman are valid

well my first symptoms of depression and

anxiety arose in seventh grade

it wasn’t until freshman year recently

after i had moved to deerfield

that i had my first panic attack i

distinctly remember the chilly september

night

i was sitting at my computer writing a

draft for an essay for world history

all of a sudden my hands became tense

and shaky

and i felt as if i was going to snap my

computer at any moment

i couldn’t breathe and i felt like the

walls were closing in around me

after calming myself down and talking to

my mom we both decided it was time for

me to go see a therapist

i was scared of the idea only people

with big

problems go to therapy and that is a

perfect example of how the mental health

stigma arises in everybody

i’ve been conditioned to think that

therapy was this thing you go to in

extreme circumstances

not to help with a little bit of anxiety

a year later

in october of 2019 i was diagnosed with

generalized anxiety disorder and major

depressive disorder

following this diagnosis i began taking

medication

and going to a more intensive therapy

program known as dialectical behavioral

therapy

dbt three

out of every 10 adolescents 13 to 17

year olds

struggle with an anxiety disorder and 2

out of every 10 adolescents struggle

with the depressive disorder

and 50 of the adolescent population

struggles with a mental disorder which

could be anything from

obsessive-compulsive

disorder to bipolar disorder almost

half of the adolescent population

struggles with their mental

health yet it is something that we as a

society

don’t talk about making it difficult for

those who are struggling

to speak out one of the biggest reasons

that teens are afraid to share their

struggles is because

they feel like they can’t show weakness

in middle

and elementary school i was the person

that people went to for advice

the person that people went to to talk

to i wasn’t allowed to feel weak

i covered up my depression and anxiety

by pretending i wasn’t struggling at all

the mask is one of the most common

coping mechanisms

that i and many others use when

struggling with a mental illness

it’s not an easy thing to do it’s not an

easy thing to put on the face every day

of a person

that isn’t truly yourself it’s

exhausting

the fall of 2019 was one of the worst

times in my life

and very few people knew it i would walk

through the halls

at school smiling and saying hi to

anyone i was remotely friendly with

for fear that they would find out that i

was struggling

there was one day around halloween that

was one of my worst points

i’d gotten to school early for a club so

the school was practically empty

two steps inside and tears started

streaming down my face

i couldn’t do it i couldn’t keep

pretending that i was okay when i wasn’t

i called my mom from the bathroom

sobbing please let me come home

i can’t do it i can’t keep pretending

a couple of days before i had asked her

if i could go to school late

because it seemed too hard to put on my

smiling face that day

and she reluctantly said yes this time

she told me to stay at school for the

first two periods and then call her back

i attempted to put myself together and i

stepped out of the bathroom

only to run into one of my teachers

without a beat

there was a smile on my face as i

greeted her good morning

i went on with my routine saying hi to

anyone i was remotely friendly with

because i was so afraid that they would

find out that i was struggling

but just because you struggle doesn’t

mean you are weak

it means the opposite it means you are

strong

it means you can be here and live your

life while fighting what seems like an

uphill battle

i’ve given you my story i told you some

statistics

so now mental illnesses can mess with a

person’s life

to the point where they don’t act like

the person that they want to be

look at it this way if someone broke

their leg

you would sign their cast help them

carry their books

or even text to check in on them and

make sure they’re okay

if physical health injuries get so much

attention

the mental health diagnosis should too

check in on your friends and family

members who may be struggling

i know the conversation is hard to start

but a simple

hi how was your day and let someone know

that you were thinking of them

and that they aren’t alone we aren’t in

ancient egypt anymore

we know that depression and anxiety are

not caused by a link between you and the

devil

they’re caused by a physical chemical

imbalance in your body

and while medication and therapy can

help heal a person

the everlasting fear surrounding having

a mental illness

can make someone not speak out about

their struggles

i started the conversation with my peers

by posting my story on instagram

it was an extremely vulnerable act but

it led me to start a conversation

about my mental illness it doesn’t have

to be an instagram post

but tell one person one family member

about your struggles

someone who loves and cares for you will

never

judge you i

do want to be here i do want to live my

life

and while my struggles with depression

and anxiety

were something i would never wish upon

anyone

they made me who i am today they made me

stronger

i want you here all of you i know it’s

hard

i know it’s challenging

but you can do this and don’t let the

fear of what other people think of you

stop you from doing what’s right for you

you can do this