Its Okay to Not Be Okay

[Music]

wet hands

under running water make sure to cover

the back of your hands in between

fingers

and your thumbs and then take a clean

tower to drive off your hands

it is done isn’t it except it

isn’t and this

is not a corona wireless hand

washing guide i was seven

my friends i was seven and have been

trapped in the washroom for the past

15 minutes

boy what are you doing in day washing my

hands

just a moment

and i feel compelled to keep on washing

drying washing drying

wash and dry wash and dry soap and water

soap and water

i feel if i ever stop something

bad would happen like the spell of

backlog will fall upon me

or my family or i might one day cross a

road and get knocked over by the car

i have no idea if i can stop washing my

hands

and i’m even more unsure when i can get

out of the washroom i have what you

would call

ocd obsessive

compulsive disorder

imagine having obsessive intrusive

thoughts that act like a bully in your

head

that force you to do things

that you otherwise wouldn’t

and this compels you to perform the act

if you want to feel

less anxious and less fearful

this has been my situation

for over 20 years

before i even know its

name i

felt confused ashamed

and most upon not furious so

furious that the water tap i have broken

a few

you know you turn on you turn off and

you’ve just broken that right back then

i can’t control my mind

my mind control me

and it took me ages to get ready i have

to open the drawer i have to close the

drawer

have i locked my car have i not locked

my car

walk by the asia’s right food live food

right food left foot oh an intrusive

thought came in

and i have to keep on inspecting my

thoughts is this a thought that i want

no then what is it that i want you know

i have to keep on performing

acts like this and if you are in a hurry

waste even more time and when you want

to feel a little bit peace

it paralyzes you my mom would say just

control yourself hugo

my friends would say you’re so weird

what are you even doing

for the first 13 years or so no one

educated

me on my condition my parents didn’t

know about ocd my teachers

feels that certain people are just need

freaks the school syllabus

has nothing on anxiety depression

suicide or mental illness in general

i wonder why is there a physical

education subject

but there is none on mental and

emotional

health and that’s why

i make this a mission for my life i work

on it

i advocate for it and i’ll coordinate

efforts

for mental wellness because as i

struggle with my condition it helps me

to empathize with a lot of people

that are having the same issues

the hunger for this solution and the

curiosity why is it that some people

feel that this is a non-issue

they can even joke about this in

instagram captions

why and i realized

the biggest challenge as i’ve worked

with youth with autism as we conducted

empathy circles

across multiple countries in southeast

asia

we realized the biggest barrier is the

stigma

you see my friends you might be asking

hugo

if something is good why is it not more

readily embraced

the reason is very simple how many of

you who are listening to this

have ever heard someone tell you big

girls don’t cry

if you are man if you cry you’re awake

you go for therapy that those are only

for those

psychotic people

this is the stigma we are facing

since we are young

if you have a problem people will tell

you think positive you go just think

positive

just imagine that just be strong

think positive you are angry just come

down

susan just calm down when in the history

of world

when we utter the two words come down

has a person ever come down

but this just showed the ignorance of

our general population on how to support

someone

with mental health challenges

and the stigma surrounding mental health

is so strong that two years ago

in a mental health association meeting

when the professionals gather

thinking of a name to name their

organization

of course the phrase mental health would

pop up isn’t it so

and they most of them agree we shouldn’t

put the phrase

mental health in the name of the

association

because the general public associate

mental health

with crazy people just think about this

so why hugo is this stigma so prevalent

in our communities

the reason is because of the gap

the gap exists because the state where

we are now state of

current mental health literacy and our

desired destination where everyone is

always celebrated and have

access to health care

there is this gap and in my experience

there are

three reasons for this gap number one

the lack of absence of mental health

literacy in schools and workplace

number two conversations surrounding

mental health are not being normalized

they are still a taboo

number three there is a lack of

coordinated effort

between stakeholders for the mental

health agenda

if we look at this national survey right

national health and morbidity survey

around 424 000 of our dollar since our

children

are suffering from mental illness

let’s think about this

suicide idation has rose from 7.9

to 10

one in five suffer from depression

two in five suffer from anxiety one in

ten are feeling stress

and one in six is a victim

of bullying this is what plaguing our

youth and adolescents

you might assume if it is so serious

people will pay attention right but just

think about this right numbers don’t lie

locally there are 10 000 schools right

about 3500 secondary

6500 primary schools and out of all of

these schools there is only

one counselor assigned for every 500

students

and 90 percent of the counselors are

untrained

our youth and adolescents really going

to counselors

as a punishment rather than help they

would rather go to

confessions forums to post anonymous

comments asking for advice

let’s look at the national statistics

forty-four percent of malaysian says

corvit-19

impacted their mental health over 500

000 of adults are suffering

from depression there is only 1.27

psychiatrists per

100 000 of our malaysian population and

i’m just quoting about local statistics

and there is only one percent of the

health budget that goes to mental health

i have not even go to other countries

that we have reached out in southeast

asia so this is the scenario

without education access mental health

will remain a persistent

and invisible silent pandemic how do i

even

talk about this right it’s not an

accident it’s not a physical condition

this is what a sister lamented about

her brother who committed suicide

last year

you see this stigma is so prevalent

and is so deadly luckily we learned that

conversations can shatter stigma

in one of our events when a beauty queen

actually shades

how she has been taking anxiety pews

when she was younger

left the audience bewildered how could

someone so confident in front of cameras

so

eloquent and socially calibrated have

such issues

when a social media influencer committed

suicide and was found

14 hours later she is alive she’s safe

there is nothing you can flush out of a

system already she took

just too many pills she lost seven years

of her memory this show us that

everyone could be suffering from mental

health conditions

and challenges there is no certain look

you could be smiling

and you could be suffering

in order to recognize this we recognize

that our communities have hurt

mentalities you know what is done by

many would be acceptable and what is

done by key

opinion leaders will be followed that’s

why we encourage people to speak up

because as you speak up

more people will have the courage you

give them the permission to do the same

and as more and more people participate

that it will reach a tipping point

where this will surely become

normalized and we see this over and over

when the leaders speak up in an event

the silent majority feel it is okay for

them to do so as well

we learned that to bring meaningful

reform we have to bring together

stakeholders

right whether it’s parents teachers

lawmakers to come together

to make a change because students will

grow up to be teachers managers leaders

lawmakers and as reason as this

there is a 38 year old disabled man that

was sentenced to six months in prison

because he attempted suicide by hanging

himself with a nylon rope

on december 29th this is the kind of

world we live in ladies and gentlemen

clearly our mental health is not just

about us it’s about

taking care of ourselves and also the

people around us

and when we begin to recognize this fact

we can

start with better literacy better access

better support better policies

the agenda is to close the gap or close

to a billion people worldwide 970

million to be exact

is suffering from some form of mental

illness anxiety depression

eating disorder substance abuse disorder

and when we are talking about 147

billion estimated by 2030 the kind of

course of

treatment for anxiety and depression

disorder

when we look at next left and right of

us there are people that are suffering

from mental illness that we do not know

popular

statistics says one in four and in some

countries could be higher

learn to check in on people around us do

they have sufficient sleep are they

relapsing into bad habits

do they have a toxic relationship do

they have a conducive working

environment

don’t let i’m fine stop you from caring

for someone increase our mental health

literacy

get certification get training get into

mental health first aid programs suicide

first aid program

learn upgrade ourselves do you know

what’s the difference between a

psychologist

and a psychiatrist what type of

therapies are available have you done

your assessments recently

what are the best practices do you keep

a journal for your thoughts

do you know how to love yourself

self-care

is a skill set and as with all skill set

it takes

training and continuous education

thirdly be an advocate for mental health

if you’re an employer

give your employees an access to

counsellors

to websites for resources if your

parents learn to communicate with your

children

if you are lawmaker petition and push

for the decriminalization

of suicide everyone have influence and

everyone can be an advocate

right let someone take a mental health

leave give them the resources give them

the help

invest in your people have peer support

groups

lastly as you join me in this long

journey

i recall someone telling me that she is

of a different sexual orientation

and she feel that she cannot bear to

take the risks

to tell her loved one because she feel

there is a possibility

she might even lose the very people she

cared about

we can turn this around ladies and

gentlemen and i learned this

about 15 to 16 years ago when i was in

japan i was in a student

exchange mission in japan and when i was

based in the kanagawa prefecture japan

we took a trip to tokyo and one of the

most beautiful thing is learning about

the art of kimsugi

the art of repairing broken pottery with

gold

silver or platinum

and what is so special about this art

form is that this 400 year old art form

it is transformed something that is

broken into something that is more rare

and more valuable than before it just

reminds us as

humans being we all have our feelings

our mistakes our mental illness

different

severity levels and we all need help

it’s okay to heal from it it’s okay

to learn to educate ourselves learn

to support one another because together

we can get through this together sharing

being vulnerable being courageous

and being proactive we can change the

landscape for mental health

and remember you are not broken

you are not alone whatever challenges

you are

facing right now just like the art of

kinsuki

the broken tree layer with go

you too have been transformed into

something that’s more resilient someone

who is more beautiful

and bo ladies and gentlemen

i’m hugo tan and it is okay

to not be okay thank you