Mental Disease Empower Others by Sharing Your Story

i graduated

from pharmacy school with my doctorate

of pharmacy

in 2008. i spent the next

10 years working as a community

pharmacist

in 2018 i decided to start teaching

pharmacy students

so i began working towards my doctorate

of education

with a focus in curriculum and

instruction

as a pharmacist the idea that i could

have mental diseases

is completely foreign

what’s even more foreign to most if not

all people

is the fact i openly talk about my

experience

i am a pharmacist and i

have mental diseases i’ve been diagnosed

with anxiety

attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

agoraphobia obsessive compulsive

disorder

and complex post-traumatic stress

disorder

i’ve dealt with depression after giving

birth to my son

in january of 2016.

this is commonly known as postpartum

depression

so why does all of this matter one

in five adults will suffer from some

form

of mental health challenge in their

lifetime

the average delay between onset of

symptoms

and reaching out to get help is about 11

years

of those people only 45

of people will actually go see a doctor

get help

or talk to a doctor for me

it took approximately 10 years

suicide is the second leading

cause of death in those individuals

aged 10 to 34 years

i’ve attempted suicide twice and i’ve

survived

i had to spend five days in the hospital

after my first attempt in 2016.

i was only 32.

mental health issues are not uncommon

yet these numbers are alarming

you are more likely to die by your own

hand

than you are by somebody else’s

had it not been for my sister-in-law

taking the time to tell me

that my odd behavior was troubling

i may never have realized that i needed

help

discrimination is not uncommon either

most people don’t realize that you can’t

question somebody on the basis of their

mental health

or struggles it’s happened to me

and it happened to me in the last place

i would have ever imagined it to happen

these stereotypes and misconceptions

make it almost impossible

for us to be successful because we’ve

been told

it’s not possible while overcoming

mental diseases

or mental health issues tonight

i share my story to normalize the

conversation

around mental health and mental diseases

i share because as a pharmacist

i’m not immune to the struggles of

mental health issues

i’ve had adhd my entire life

so there is nothing that i have achieved

or succeeded at without the presence of

neurodivergence

choosing to share with my patients lets

them know

i not only empathize with them but i

sympathize with them

because i’m trying to navigate and

understand

what it is to overcome mental disease

i provide them a safe place

free of judgment fear and shame

a space of understanding and community

i’ve been told i shouldn’t share my

story i should hide it

in fear of what it might do to my career

sharing these things out loud publicly

could complicate my personal life

as a medical provider people may believe

that i’m not able to take care of my

patients

hiding all of my mental health issues

should be

important because somebody might think

that i’m unable to take care of myself

or my family shame tells me

i should hide these parts away

never speaking about them

guilt tells me to bury them in the

deepest parts of the closet

never to be discovered

people including myself fear being

labeled

self-stigma occurs when somebody has

been

diagnosed with a mental disease and then

they begin to internalize those negative

stereotypes

which then lets them believe they have

this spoiled identity

the impact of this on any individual

who’s been diagnosed with a mental

disease

can lead to lower self-efficacy and

self-esteem

whether depression schizophrenia

borderline personality disorder or

anxiety

there is this fear that once this

diagnosis occurs

it will dictate who the person is

a diagnosis becomes a personality trait

no longer a human being who has

lived a life full of accomplishments and

defeats

a person with depression

turned into their diagnosis and

subjected

to the stereotypes prejudices and stigma

hearing the term mental disease

automatically puts people

into this mindset of generalized

stereotypes or assumptions

rarely do outsiders understand what

mental disease is

or how it affects each one of us

differently

in order to combat this misunderstanding

our society needs to start to set these

stereotypes and assumptions aside

to get to know the identity of a person

first before they judge

or come to conclusions about the

individual

in october of 2013 two

short weeks before my 30th birthday

i was arrested for a dui

it’s one of the many obstacles i’ve had

to navigate in my life

the only trouble i had beforehand with

the law was a few speeding tickets

it was only a matter of time before my

destructive drinking

caught up with me emotionally

i believed i was a bad person

i began making myself feel worse

because getting a dui

was now a personality trait

this is when the book daring greatly

came into my life

it’s written by dr brene brown

it was about to teach me a valuable

lesson

i wasn’t a bad person i was a good

person

who made a horrible mistake dr brown

talks about the importance of leaning

into vulnerability

to identify our guilt and shame

when we are forced to reflect upon

ourselves

we can learn and grow from our hardest

moments

in this space i learned about accepting

my uncomfortable moments

to allow me to heal and feel less alone

for me my favorite quote is this

vulnerability is the birthplace of

love belonging joy

courage empathy and creativity

it is the source of hope empathy

accountability and authenticity

if we want greater clarity in

our purpose or deeper and more spiritual

meaningful spiritual lives vulnerability

is the path

this was the beginning of me

fully embracing my vulnerability

when i’m able to let my guard down and

connect with my patients

on a personal level they know i

understand their struggles

it lets them know they are not on this

journey alone

yes it’s different for each of us

but we’re united through our experiences

oh and by the way as of today

i am 822 days sober

life is complicated there’s no denying

this fact

whether you have a mental disease or not

life is hard however

those of us with mental diseases may

struggle just a little bit more than

those without

but we are able to manage if we decide

to do so

we aren’t incapable of raising families

we can have successful careers

we can be accomplished doctors

athletes teachers scientists

just to name a few anything

a person can do without

mental health issues we can do

justif as bet as good if not

better the time has come for us to step

out of the darkness and

into the light labels

don’t matter stereotypes

and prejudices don’t matter

public stigma doesn’t matter

what truly matters is the human life

that’s being overshadowed by all of

these other things

all this unnecessary and unneeded noise

i matter my voice matters

my story matters just as

your story matters your voice matters

you matter all the negative

things that have been said about mental

diseases

or those who overcome them is simply

wrong i plan to

silence all of the misinterpretations

and falsehoods through speaking out

against them

the most effective way to challenge

the false stigma stereotypes

and prejudices which currently exists in

our society

is to openly prove them wrong

my name is dr ashley perkins

i have mental diseases but i am not

nor will i ever be my diagnosis

thank you