Mental health you are not alone

[Music]

[Applause]

yesterday morning

i just opened my messages as you do in

the morning and my mum was standing

right next to me

so i’m just like scrolling through my

snaps and there’s nothing in particular

so i’m okay i look over to my mum

she’s in absolute shock so i start

rethinking did i open

any messages that had offended her or

were in any way inappropriate

but nothing comes to mind so at this

point i just start panicking like why is

she reacting like that

and then she goes is she okay

what the girl who sent you that video

what video she was crying and cutting

her hair

hmm apparently it’s not normal to cut

and dye your hair when you’re not

feeling well

who would have thought oddly enough this

has been somewhat normalized to my

generation

now you might be thinking what is she

trying to say

well i believe that

a bad mental health has been normalized

and most people my age do not know how

to deal with it

this is not something new is it a bad

mental health is not a new theme

why are we not talking about it a

discussion with elder people makes them

extremely uncomfortable like if you just

have interrupted them

on the toilet and to be honest

this behavior does not change with the

younger generation

let me ask you a question how are you

doing today

no seriously how have you been doing

this week

have you really been doing well like you

have been saying

now the weird thing is quite a lot of

people feel uncomfortable when asked

these questions

almost like if you’re not allowed to

answer honestly if the answer is not

well this is an enormous problem

the simple subject of mental health has

been made so taboo

we can’t really think about it but why

why would a subject like this be taboo a

subject that impacts

every single one of us one reason is

there’s a certain non-said rule in

society to be happy

a non-said rule that says you can’t be

sad or have any negative feelings

even though that’s completely normal and

valid

there’s certain toxic positivity that

tells us

if i am sad i am going to make the

people around me sad

my favorite example of this is the other

day when my friend was having a bad day

her cat had died so we were trying to

comfort her

then when my other friend goes

just be happy it’s a great surprise she

did not feel any better

with a bad mental health you need to get

help right

so help can be talking to family friends

or going to therapy

i guess that’s another reason why mental

health is so taboo

there’s so many stereotypes around

therapy you know that place

insane people go to

a therapist is a bit like a doctor for

your mental health right

so why can’t i go there if i have a

problem

even if it’s a minor one it might evolve

it’s also important to go for checkups

on a regular basis

and if you do not feel at ease with your

therapist just go to a new one until you

find one you like

in general you should look after your

mental health on a regular basis

by focusing on yourself and make sure

you are doing well

and i have realized over time that

well-being is divided

into three major parts the first part

being the motions

the second part being the soul and the

third one being

the body they are all connected and are

crucial for well-being

we need to actively look after all three

of them

i’m going to start with the body some

ideas for looking after the body

are sports in general but also more

relaxing aspects like

yoga and stretching the good thing about

this is

it’s ready partly in the school

curriculum just by adding a bit more

of a relaxing part it could be

completely in the school curriculum

and for anybody saying they don’t like

yoga

you have simply not found right yoga

teacher yet like somebody told me a few

years ago

i don’t like yoga um another thing we

can do

for the body is eating healthily

simply by having like you already have

heard it thousands of times

a balanced and healthy diet you should

be good

so this is not going to extremes which

is eating too much or too little of

something or eating too much or too

little in general

i remember when i just got into

secondary school you

once have all this freedom nobody’s

going to stop you from

going anyway for lunch and eating

anything

so i started binge eating like i’d say

most people when they get into secondary

school

chocolate and anything that was off

limits at home

this is the simple reason why there are

no off-limits

or recommended foods because like i just

said

we tend to binge eat them when we get

them if you’re feeling insecure about

your body because people are telling you

you’re not perfect for where you are

they are not the ones to judge the only

people who can tell you if you’re

healthy or not

is you and your doctor because in

general people try to aim

for this ideal body that media puts

forward

that is on one hand often extremely

unhealthy to obtain

but also impossible to a certain extent

the second part of our well-being is the

soul

you know that thing god of the devil is

going to come and take some day

the soul i have divided personally into

four parts

the first part is the connections

connections is connections to for

example other people

but it can also be connections to for

example higher being if you believe in

god

or even um a lake a tree

or your favorite rock simply by going

for walking

in the forest or being fully present

when having a conversation

is enough when i mean fully present so

keeping eye contact

and not being distracted by example your

phone

i remember having this conversation a

few years ago with some mums

and they mentioned that my generation

does not know how to keep

eye contact so i guess we should work on

that

sadly through the wearing of masks the

whole aspect of connection has been

weakened

we started with social distancing and

are now socially distancing

the second big part is communication

communication is making your needs clear

to other people

i have realized that people do not

understand what you want unless you

clearly tell them

for example does my dad know i want a

waffle right now and not just a basket

of fruit

probably not i have not clearly told him

so

you should really make sure to make your

needs clear

the third part is knowing what your

needs are

also prioritizing them by what i mean by

prioritizing your needs

is making sure that you’re prioritizing

yourself

and then the people that are important

to you

i often tend to even have a lot of work

to do not say no to people when they ask

me for something

and just respecting this point means

understanding that

you have to put yourself sometimes

forward and not as a people

and just saying no sometimes it’s okay

we should all do this

now to the emotions personally

this is a very scary one for me i have a

hard time dealing with emotions

because i tend to deny them

not only to myself but also to other

people

so it’s a privilege doing this but it’s

really intimidating too

a good thing for emotions is writing

them down

a good thing about writing emotions down

we could again include it in schools

we could encourage having writing about

emotions in languages in the school

curriculum

which would help students not only try

and force them to understand and know

what emotions they have

but through knowing what emotions you

have you also get to deal with your

emotions

when you write them down you can do it

in any shape or form

you could do it i don’t know a song a

poem an essay or even a whole musical

if you do the musical please invite me i

adore musicals

another way you could also do for dean

was emotions is just naming them

simply by naming your emotions when you

are happy

sad scared or angry will make you feel

better

also just be honest with yourself and to

other people to make yourself feel

better

for me it’s extremely important to

understand

why i feel a certain way why am i cross

for example

when i’m angry it tends to be because

somebody has crossed my boundaries

so here we’re back to the soul part with

connections i try to make my boundaries

clear

and tell people where my boundaries are

that way these boundaries are not

crossed again and i don’t need to fill

this negativity again

now i would say we’re coming to

my biggest message in the talk and

something i really hope is going to

happen

something that’d be amazing to have in

schools is school counsellors

right now in my school we have school

therapists

and in theory you can go there but

people rarely go there

most of my friends and a lot of people

in my generation

not all are very introverted

so they are incapable of even ordering

pizza let alone a glass of water at a

restaurant

on one hand it is extremely funny to

watch for me

but how do you expect these people to go

to the school therapist

they are unable to do so even me being

an extrovert is

hasn’t even thought about going there

because i

tend to want to deal with my problems

myself and in general i just deny them

i also let myself think my problems are

just not important enough

well of course some solutions for

example one of my friends started a cry

count document

she shared it with a few of us and

basically we have access to it and every

time you cry

you write down that he cries and the

reason why i am proud to say

that i’m in first place right now after

having a concussion last week

but it’s not really a solution because

as teenagers we’re going through

so many changes at so many different

levels that we need someone to talk to

we could talk to parents but it’s just

awkward

having a conversation with parents you

know

kind of you just don’t want to talk to

parents about

intimate things friends is neither

reliable source

because in some friend groups sadly the

simple

theme of mental health is still taboo

but

also some people don’t have many friends

so having a school counselor would be a

reliable source

people could always go back to to ask

for help

to have somebody to talk to um

the good thing about school counselor is

it’s a grown-up who’s specialized in it

so they know what they’re talking about

on top of that

it’s a good and neutral opinion and

advice

the school counselor would have to be

mandatory for example

every two weeks for at least 20 minutes

because

like we said before with a school

therapist not many people go there

because they don’t dare to we need

somebody to come to

us they’d also have to mingle amongst

the students that way we feel

comfortable talking to them because

again we don’t want to talk about

strangers

with strangers about our emotions i’d be

extremely weird

and i think the most important part that

the school counselors would bring wisdom

is making mental health less taboo

because us teenagers

future adults would be used to talking

about emotions

the body and the soul for anybody who

is struggling right now or going through

a tough time there’s absolutely nothing

wrong with you

just continue you are not alone

to everybody students parents teachers

anybody involved in schools we are the

ones who can make a change

by working together we can integrate the

free parts of well-being

in the school curriculum and have school

counsellors

we need to work together to be able to

do this no voice is too small

by working all together we can make this

happen stop mental health being taboo

thank you

[Music]

you