Instead of calm down say this

[Applause]

calm down

that’s a phrase that has called exactly

zero people

in the history of humankind

especially when it’s being yelled at us

or when we are the ones yelling

at someone why is it

that we use such an inefficient strategy

what if i told you that there are

simpler kinder

more effective ways not only to help

others calm down

but perhaps more importantly to help

calm ourselves

regardless of anything that’s going on

around us

and sometimes it can be quite a bit

i want to invite you to close your eyes

for a moment

and imagine a 14 year old 8th grader

who has flown school and needs to repeat

8th grade all over again

imagine that same person at 16

losing a loved one to a tragic car

accident

imagine that person later are 18 years

old

discovering an infidelity in their first

sentimental relationship

at 22 trying to get through university

within the boundaries of a precarious

financial situation

the stressors the expectations

weighing heavy on this person’s

shoulders

what if this person later in their 30s

goes through an international divorce

with children

in between imagine that person being

torn apart

from their child who now lives on the

other side of the ocean

with your eyes closed imagine the same

person

in their mid 30s discovering for the

first time

breathing consciously paying close

attention

the sensation of the air on the tip of

their nose

feeling the air in the back of their

throats

the sensation of their clothes against

their skin

as their lungs expand with their

inhalation

and contract with every exhalation

imagine this person with the tools the

perspective

the resilience gain by simply

being able to breathe through the ups

and downs

that life brings to all of us

imagine this person with the ability to

simply

be less reactive

feel free to open your eyes

and look at this person

and i so wanted to be next to my

daughter

but there was a court and a judge and an

ocean

5 000 kilometers 3 100 miles between us

sundays changed for me they were no

longer about going

with my daughter to the park to meet up

with friends

or learn how to ride a bike i remember

one day

walking up diagonal avenue in barcelona

seeing a girl about five years old long

black hair

happily riding her bicycle just like my

daughter

i started weeping right there and then

my daughter had just moved back to the

states

a few months prior after i lost custody

on what was as it is often the case

yet another ugly divorce for many months

i’ll have serious panic attacks i was

depressed

i didn’t know if i would see her again i

was overwhelmed

through the grief not only that my

marriage had failed

but the uncertainty about my

relationship with my daughter

life is full of ups and downs

and i used to categorize the downs the

stressors

as adult-only issues

but if we take a moment to reflect the

truth is

that we have stressors throughout our

lives regardless of age

gender socioeconomic status

belief system through this crisis

i came to identify with a quote from

matthew quick that read

the world will break your heart 10 ways

to sunday

that’s guaranteed

and having what at the time was an

immense

sense of impotence and uncertainty

and a broken heart i found myself

with no access to effective tools

to navigate all those emotions i had no

strategy

no way to calm myself down

much less help my daughter calm down

help her understand that yes things were

going to be difficult

but ultimately okay

in the midst of all that i started

listening to this

video on youtube and i apologize

for the pronunciation it was called

tranquil it was a mindfulness meditation

in a language where the only word i

could grasp

was respire breathe

and in just three short minutes

my panic attack would subside

and i would just feel this energy inside

of me

that’s when i first discovered the world

of mindfulness meditation

the second time i went through a divorce

i was lucky

to be able to count on the benefits that

mindfulness meditation has to offer

i was less reactive i was able to focus

more clearly on where exactly i wanted

to spend

my energy and my time

i was able to continue being an involved

father of two

despite the hardships that we were all

going through i discovered that i could

focus my attention

purposefully on breathing

and by doing so all the clutter

all the chatter all the noise the

negative narrative

inside my head would go away discord

that i could focus again

i could move away from merely reacting

to the events that were happening to me

around my life

and choose how to act based on my values

on my needs

on my children’s needs i discovered that

i didn’t have to find

a guru or a master someplace far away

to find a quieter place inside of me

i just needed to practice mindfulness

meditation

like a child practices riding a bicycle

now when we talk about emotions when we

are dealing

emotionally with a situation we need

tools

in our own native language

through my journey i discovered that if

you didn’t speak

english or french or live in one of the

richer economies in the world

not only do you have less options or

materials

to find out about the benefits of

mindfulness meditation

but also your access to relevant

high quality scientific information was

supremely diminished

that felt unfair almost all of the

content i found was primarily in english

and not available in spanish why does

the spanish-speaking world

have to wait so much longer to benefit

from the positive effects of mindfulness

both for our mental and physical health

what can we do to bridge that gap

a study conducted by the wh so in 2017

founded in latin american countries of

low and medium income status

almost exclusively all spanish-speaking

there are only between two to 6

mental health care professionals per 100

000 people this highlights a

massive gap between the needs of the

population

and the resources available

so that they can take care of their

mental health

let’s bear in mind that there are

over 400 million spanish speakers

around the globe in the journey of

facing difficulties

i’m not alone there are others

flunking 8th grade facing difficult

situations

injustices and just like i was

with no access to tools that helps them

come back to a state of calm that allows

them

to be focused productive effective

being born and raised in colombia

i felt a profound urge to share with the

entire spanish

speaking community what

i had learned along the way in its

simplest form

mindfulness meditation is the practice

of focusing your mind’s attention

on something in particular such as your

breath

through scientific inquiry we humans

understand

what is it about this practice what is

it about this ancient tradition

that actually helps us calm down

appease our minds so in 2017

i decided i was going to do my part to

help

people in my community around the world

calm down to help them navigate

their own ups and downs so i embarked on

democratizing

mindfulness meditation to spanish

speakers around the globe

when i run round tables in colombia to

find out what is it that people do

to calm themselves down to take care of

their mental health

one girl describes signing up for a

mindfulness meditation class

the class was on saturday mornings at 9

00 am

she lived on the other side of town

so for her taking care of her mental

health

meant not being able

to do activities with her friends on

friday evenings

because you have to get up at 6 45 in

the morning to make it to class on time

the class was two hours long

so by the time she got back home her

entire saturday morning would have

vanished

that’s a big price to pay for something

that isn’t widely known

in her culture to be effective

what was the solution then in my

eyes a sound solution

was to deliver science-based mindfulness

meditation

and make it available so that people

could take care of their mental health

wherever they were whenever they needed

through a mobile app

in january 2021 four years

after i poured myself on this project on

this journey

our first clinical study was published

in the

international journal of environmental

research and public health

in switzerland it is to date

the first study conducted

exclusively with native spanish speakers

as participants using an app in their

native language

the study was led by a team of

researchers at the university of burgos

had 164 participants and the results

were fascinating

for one people increase

their levels of mindfulness

they decrease their negative emotions

increase their ability to forgive

themselves and others

they were more creative and

perhaps most important of all they were

more satisfied

with their own life and who doesn’t want

to be more satisfied with their own life

english speakers might be familiar with

names like

john kabat sin sara lazar

davidson daniel goldman

maybe even know their work

but even if we don’t know exactly the

accomplishments of these scientists

dedicated to

researching the benefits of mindfulness

meditation

their names sound familiar to us

that sensation of familiarity

perhaps even trust is exactly what

happens

to spanish speakers when we hear names

juan pablo pisarro ruiz maria caminos

colar

javier garcia campagno nuria ordonez

mario

names of researchers devoted to the

needs

of our community in the spanish-speaking

world

discovering mindfulness meditation will

not make

hardships disappear from anyone’s lives

it didn’t make hardships disappear in my

life

i went through a lot of grief through my

second divorce

launching a startup and putting it all

on the table

to the point of turning your pockets

inside out

maxing out credit cards even throwing

your 401k behind it to at least

get a chance to make a dent

in this massive need for effective tools

to take care of our mental health is

full of uncertainties

even having that phone call

where my mom would ask me so when are

you gonna get a real job again

and i’ll be thinking this is the most

important job of

my life so far thanks to the advent

of technology i’m able to help

thousands of people who have long been

denied access to scientifically proven

mental health care resources

i have at least one truth inside of me

and that’s what i like you to take today

learn to pay attention to your breath

learn to calm yourself down

and you will be able to write the ups

and downs of life

with a different perspective a different

error around you

matthew quick did say the world

will break your heart 10 ways to sunday

that’s guaranteed

and he continues

and i cannot explain that

or the craziness inside myself and

everybody else

but guess what sunday

is my favorite day again

there will be times when we lose

ourselves

when things seem so impossibly difficult

when things seem lackluster even things

we really used to enjoy

and when our hearts break things will

most likely never be the same

but that doesn’t mean they cannot be

good again

i still go through hardships in my life

of course and i see others go through

them

but the way i react to those hardships

has drastically improved

the last time my daughter got sick from

the anxiety of boarding a plane alone

instead of telling her to calm down

i embraced her and said

breathe thank you

[Applause]

[Music]

you