Last 195 Meters The puzzle of motivation

i lean back into the cover

as i whispered the words over into the

radio set sitting in the snow

at a height of 5000 meters

i looked at bravo a few feet away

sitting calmly under a ledge despite the

high winds

which had already started off a little

snowstorm

here was this one man who would not

hesitate

to pull me out of danger even if it

meant

laying down his own life a mountaineer

power excellence

who not only possessed superhuman

climbing skills

but had intricate knowledge of the

terrain as well

bravo’s face had the same smile

regardless of the intensity of situation

but i knew something more which not many

did

there was a streak of anguish

hidden in that smile that one little

nuance

which could be a matter of life or death

in a totally different scenario

the call i had just received shook me

and put me in a dilemma while nuanced

here’s the simple version

jeopardizing the success of the mission

versus

thinking about an individual and i have

to decide

in the next few minutes well

before i talk about my dilemma of that

moment let me tell you

how we reached where we did and for

those of you who have seen jeet ki zid

already

please know that this is not one of the

scenes from the show

it probably would have been too

difficult to capture it on celluloid

anyway

for those who do not know what i am

talking about right now

here is my life in nutshell

special forces officer got shot in

combat with a few bullets in his stomach

recovered went back into combat

got shot again but after the second

injury

i was told that i would never walk again

which meant that while i could still

continue to serve in the army

but would not be able to go back

to my beloved team full of bravos so i

took a decision

i leave the armed forces lying in the

hospital bed knowing fully well

that i’ll not walk on my feet again

i had decided to chart a new path for

myself

it was not that the armed forces wanted

me to leave and imagine that

leaving a well-established career with

complete job security

i was leaving all that for an uncertain

world

which i had no familiarity with what

kind of a decision was that

emotional yes foolish

maybe my reasoning was simple

if i couldn’t go back to my own unit my

team of special forces

i’ll leave the armed forces

today i’ll talk about such emotional

decisions

and the reasoning for such decisions

so back to my trust with valiant soldier

bravo

that time we were on a very critical

mission

in the snowy peaks

bravo was the radio signal of my ace

climber the lead rope for this operation

we chosen the most difficult route to

surprise

and attack the enemy sitting on top of

the mountain

lot of hopes were pinned on our

operation and my hopes

they were pinned on bravo he was

responsible for

traversing the steep climb on ice

fix ropes so that the rest of the team

could reach the top

which was more than 5000 meters above

sea level

just to set the context everest base

camp

is at 5 300 meters the difference here

was

that we were all carrying loaded weapons

and battle loads on our back

we had no sherpas no oxygen cylinders

no prefixed ladders and ropes

we just had one thing going in our favor

we were a team full of soldiers like

bravo

on the other hand what we had was a

super alert enemy

expecting an attack any day

so we had to lie down

covered in white poncho during daylight

and could only move under the cover of

darkness

using a very unorthodox approach for our

attack

due to the degree of difficulty and

sheer incline it was almost an

unimaginable approach which we were sure

of

and we were sure that the enemy would

never expect the attack from that

direction

that also meant that we could only

traverse a max of 100 to 150 meters

vertical elevation each night now

talking about the climbing process here

is how it all works

the lead climber hits one i6 slightly

above the shoulder height than the other

i6

and then uses both arms to support the

body weight

while using one leg at a time to move up

using the crampons

and then fixes the eye spit ons

or the eye screws now typically we have

two lead climbers

who keep alternating the reason is

that the blood flow in your arms it

stops and they go numb after some time

due to thin air with lesser oxygen the

body works at only a

fraction of actual strength each step

up is an effort in itself

to compare the effort every step you

climb

using this technique you are spending

energy equivalent to 15 minutes

of shoveling in your own garden

now imagine that effort when you are

carrying

a loaded weapon and battle load of more

than 30 kgs on your back

and move of this whole team depends on

fixing of that rope by the lead climber

as they you the team uses this rope to

climb

this is an oversimplified version of ice

wall climbing but i guess it’s good

enough to understand the context

we had been climbing for three nights

and the plan was to negotiate

the rest of the climb in two more nights

and surprise the enemy in such

a way that they don’t know what hit them

in such cases

typical firefight lasts for just a few

minutes

to a max of couple of hours

but the preparation and cruelling climb

it takes many weeks and sometimes months

of effort

as the whole focus is to be able to

surprise the enemy

the vertical climb left now was just 195

meters but that was

the steepest part and closest to the

enemy

it was on the fourth evening i got the

radio message about bravo

typically we not only know about the

skills of these

soldiers we know the soldiers

better than probably their own family

members you have to

our lives they depend on the action of

each of the team member

understanding each other’s personal

motivation is extremely important

so bravo’s personal story goes like this

in his late 30s

an ideal son and a husband

he was very well respected back in his

village

but he had one big regret in his life

he did not have a child in fact his

wife had conceived a couple of times

but due to medical issues the child had

to be aborted and the second time his

wife’s life was also in danger

bravo was one of the most motivated

soldier

and was generally happy except this one

fact

his only regret in life the missing

child

sitting at 5000 meters above sea level

on that evening

the message i got on radio was that

bravo’s wife

was expecting again

while i had a few moments of dilemma i

took a decision

bravo was to be assigned a buddy and he

would go

back to travel back to where his family

was

slithering back to the base was a matter

of hours

with all these ropes which were fixed

mostly by bravo

we were on a tough mission we were left

with a climb of two more nights

and then we knew there would be a

firefight it was one of those missions

where

all of us all 20 of us had left

our last letters addressed to our

families

we left those letters at the base just

in case we did not return alive

while i was aware of the critical role

bravo was playing i knew

that i’ll be able to manage with 18 men

and

bravo needed to be with his wife that

was more critical

when i mentioned this to bravo

he broke down

it was already dusk and we were about to

move for the night

every minute was precious but i sat down

with bravo

he was inconsolable

and i started trying to

and here’s how the conversation went sir

i joined your team as the lead climber

so that i could take part in this

operation

now you are asking me to go back

it’s okay bravo you’ve done your bit and

every day is important when it comes to

taking care of your wife at this time

sir it’s the last

195 meters and we’ll easily do it in two

nights

i know that and all the work done by you

will ensure that we do it and trying to

change the topic i said

you have yet to take your anvil leave as

well

sir anvil leave is the last thing

i think of at such times and earlier

today alpha

the other lead climber told me he had

started developing blisters

and i promised him that i’ll lead the

rest of the way

i can’t leave him like that and this is

my regiment’s pride

why are you sending me back

while alpha’s blisters was news to me

being close to both of us he joined our

conversation

and when alpha tried to talk about

bravo’s scared and

bravo just exploded

let me tell you the exact

hard-hitting words which bravata

roughly translated to even if i have a

child now

what will i tell her will i say that i

left the team at the most critical

juncture

it took alpha and myself almost an

hour of convincing till bravo could be

sent back

and two things happened one

bravo reached home and his wife

delivered a beautiful baby

second i learned important life lessons

the comradery in the team defined its

success

or failure bravo was worried about

alpha more than his own life

remember this was a critical and

dangerous mission

he wanted to be with his own team

despite the news about his own family

the only regret he ever had in his life

bravo he was not an exception

he was the rule for the team this is the

story of

all the soldiers in the team and when

you work with such

giants how could you work with

anyone else in similar settings

questions for you ladies and gentlemen

are

what makes people take emotional

decisions

like leaving a well-established career

for unknown

what makes people like bravo risk their

own life

for a cause as nebulous as patriotism

what makes people like bravo put the

team

and buddy’s interest before itself

but personally for me there are no

questions

only fortunate experiences and hope

experiences of being in the elite

company of soldiers like bravo

which give me the strength to take

emotional decisions

like the one i did and to pursue

thereafter

and hope hope that

we will have many more bravos who would

soldier through their life

the way bravo did to give their best

self

in the last 195 meters

thank you