Last 195 Meters The puzzle of motivation
i lean back into the cover
as i whispered the words over into the
radio set sitting in the snow
at a height of 5000 meters
i looked at bravo a few feet away
sitting calmly under a ledge despite the
high winds
which had already started off a little
snowstorm
here was this one man who would not
hesitate
to pull me out of danger even if it
meant
laying down his own life a mountaineer
power excellence
who not only possessed superhuman
climbing skills
but had intricate knowledge of the
terrain as well
bravo’s face had the same smile
regardless of the intensity of situation
but i knew something more which not many
did
there was a streak of anguish
hidden in that smile that one little
nuance
which could be a matter of life or death
in a totally different scenario
the call i had just received shook me
and put me in a dilemma while nuanced
here’s the simple version
jeopardizing the success of the mission
versus
thinking about an individual and i have
to decide
in the next few minutes well
before i talk about my dilemma of that
moment let me tell you
how we reached where we did and for
those of you who have seen jeet ki zid
already
please know that this is not one of the
scenes from the show
it probably would have been too
difficult to capture it on celluloid
anyway
for those who do not know what i am
talking about right now
here is my life in nutshell
special forces officer got shot in
combat with a few bullets in his stomach
recovered went back into combat
got shot again but after the second
injury
i was told that i would never walk again
which meant that while i could still
continue to serve in the army
but would not be able to go back
to my beloved team full of bravos so i
took a decision
i leave the armed forces lying in the
hospital bed knowing fully well
that i’ll not walk on my feet again
i had decided to chart a new path for
myself
it was not that the armed forces wanted
me to leave and imagine that
leaving a well-established career with
complete job security
i was leaving all that for an uncertain
world
which i had no familiarity with what
kind of a decision was that
emotional yes foolish
maybe my reasoning was simple
if i couldn’t go back to my own unit my
team of special forces
i’ll leave the armed forces
today i’ll talk about such emotional
decisions
and the reasoning for such decisions
so back to my trust with valiant soldier
bravo
that time we were on a very critical
mission
in the snowy peaks
bravo was the radio signal of my ace
climber the lead rope for this operation
we chosen the most difficult route to
surprise
and attack the enemy sitting on top of
the mountain
lot of hopes were pinned on our
operation and my hopes
they were pinned on bravo he was
responsible for
traversing the steep climb on ice
fix ropes so that the rest of the team
could reach the top
which was more than 5000 meters above
sea level
just to set the context everest base
camp
is at 5 300 meters the difference here
was
that we were all carrying loaded weapons
and battle loads on our back
we had no sherpas no oxygen cylinders
no prefixed ladders and ropes
we just had one thing going in our favor
we were a team full of soldiers like
bravo
on the other hand what we had was a
super alert enemy
expecting an attack any day
so we had to lie down
covered in white poncho during daylight
and could only move under the cover of
darkness
using a very unorthodox approach for our
attack
due to the degree of difficulty and
sheer incline it was almost an
unimaginable approach which we were sure
of
and we were sure that the enemy would
never expect the attack from that
direction
that also meant that we could only
traverse a max of 100 to 150 meters
vertical elevation each night now
talking about the climbing process here
is how it all works
the lead climber hits one i6 slightly
above the shoulder height than the other
i6
and then uses both arms to support the
body weight
while using one leg at a time to move up
using the crampons
and then fixes the eye spit ons
or the eye screws now typically we have
two lead climbers
who keep alternating the reason is
that the blood flow in your arms it
stops and they go numb after some time
due to thin air with lesser oxygen the
body works at only a
fraction of actual strength each step
up is an effort in itself
to compare the effort every step you
climb
using this technique you are spending
energy equivalent to 15 minutes
of shoveling in your own garden
now imagine that effort when you are
carrying
a loaded weapon and battle load of more
than 30 kgs on your back
and move of this whole team depends on
fixing of that rope by the lead climber
as they you the team uses this rope to
climb
this is an oversimplified version of ice
wall climbing but i guess it’s good
enough to understand the context
we had been climbing for three nights
and the plan was to negotiate
the rest of the climb in two more nights
and surprise the enemy in such
a way that they don’t know what hit them
in such cases
typical firefight lasts for just a few
minutes
to a max of couple of hours
but the preparation and cruelling climb
it takes many weeks and sometimes months
of effort
as the whole focus is to be able to
surprise the enemy
the vertical climb left now was just 195
meters but that was
the steepest part and closest to the
enemy
it was on the fourth evening i got the
radio message about bravo
typically we not only know about the
skills of these
soldiers we know the soldiers
better than probably their own family
members you have to
our lives they depend on the action of
each of the team member
understanding each other’s personal
motivation is extremely important
so bravo’s personal story goes like this
in his late 30s
an ideal son and a husband
he was very well respected back in his
village
but he had one big regret in his life
he did not have a child in fact his
wife had conceived a couple of times
but due to medical issues the child had
to be aborted and the second time his
wife’s life was also in danger
bravo was one of the most motivated
soldier
and was generally happy except this one
fact
his only regret in life the missing
child
sitting at 5000 meters above sea level
on that evening
the message i got on radio was that
bravo’s wife
was expecting again
while i had a few moments of dilemma i
took a decision
bravo was to be assigned a buddy and he
would go
back to travel back to where his family
was
slithering back to the base was a matter
of hours
with all these ropes which were fixed
mostly by bravo
we were on a tough mission we were left
with a climb of two more nights
and then we knew there would be a
firefight it was one of those missions
where
all of us all 20 of us had left
our last letters addressed to our
families
we left those letters at the base just
in case we did not return alive
while i was aware of the critical role
bravo was playing i knew
that i’ll be able to manage with 18 men
and
bravo needed to be with his wife that
was more critical
when i mentioned this to bravo
he broke down
it was already dusk and we were about to
move for the night
every minute was precious but i sat down
with bravo
he was inconsolable
and i started trying to
and here’s how the conversation went sir
i joined your team as the lead climber
so that i could take part in this
operation
now you are asking me to go back
it’s okay bravo you’ve done your bit and
every day is important when it comes to
taking care of your wife at this time
sir it’s the last
195 meters and we’ll easily do it in two
nights
i know that and all the work done by you
will ensure that we do it and trying to
change the topic i said
you have yet to take your anvil leave as
well
sir anvil leave is the last thing
i think of at such times and earlier
today alpha
the other lead climber told me he had
started developing blisters
and i promised him that i’ll lead the
rest of the way
i can’t leave him like that and this is
my regiment’s pride
why are you sending me back
while alpha’s blisters was news to me
being close to both of us he joined our
conversation
and when alpha tried to talk about
bravo’s scared and
bravo just exploded
let me tell you the exact
hard-hitting words which bravata
roughly translated to even if i have a
child now
what will i tell her will i say that i
left the team at the most critical
juncture
it took alpha and myself almost an
hour of convincing till bravo could be
sent back
and two things happened one
bravo reached home and his wife
delivered a beautiful baby
second i learned important life lessons
the comradery in the team defined its
success
or failure bravo was worried about
alpha more than his own life
remember this was a critical and
dangerous mission
he wanted to be with his own team
despite the news about his own family
the only regret he ever had in his life
bravo he was not an exception
he was the rule for the team this is the
story of
all the soldiers in the team and when
you work with such
giants how could you work with
anyone else in similar settings
questions for you ladies and gentlemen
are
what makes people take emotional
decisions
like leaving a well-established career
for unknown
what makes people like bravo risk their
own life
for a cause as nebulous as patriotism
what makes people like bravo put the
team
and buddy’s interest before itself
but personally for me there are no
questions
only fortunate experiences and hope
experiences of being in the elite
company of soldiers like bravo
which give me the strength to take
emotional decisions
like the one i did and to pursue
thereafter
and hope hope that
we will have many more bravos who would
soldier through their life
the way bravo did to give their best
self
in the last 195 meters
thank you