Getting Where

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something that i think about often

is how and when we grow and i know that

we are always changing

we are always evolving always being

reborn in some way

but i find that i’m more present to that

growth when i’m being present

to what i’m feeling in my body and this

year i have felt

a plethora of emotions i’ve felt anger

peace joy frustration sadness

so many more emotions but the more i

have been

present to what i have felt the more

present i’ve been to the change

happening within

these songs were all written before the

pandemic but they all deal with this

rejection or embracing of what i’m

feeling

so i offer them to you as little

offerings as beacons

of times when i have rejected my body of

times when i have not loved my body

and times when i realized my body is all

that i have

this first song is called am i safe

and it is about the experience of

fearing

what’s going on within and how that

makes

what i feel something really scary

but it also deals with how my friends

and relationships have helped me embrace

what i’m feeling

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so

am i safe here

in my body there’s

not much

to turn to besides me

i said for

you to go home i don’t

feel safe when you’re

here

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each time i feel my own body

support all the breaths

that i take i think

of those who sit with me and

give up

their hands from

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i choose to

to believe in you

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too

this next song is called talc and it

extends out of this image of a tree in

winter

and one of the ways you can tell a tree

is alive

in the wintertime is you cut underneath

the bark and there is green

and so the idea in this song is that no

matter what something looks like from

the outside

that usually there is some sort of

growth or change occurring

within

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sun has set on the canyon tonight

and i can’t get you out of my head

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all my wondering and all my

daydreams lead me back

to you again in the winter

with a part of me that seeks

to cut you down

away lord with

a part of me that sees

you on the ground

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watch me now walk around

my words like someone who don’t know

what they’re saying

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watch me now human

as they come try to love you

better better

i wish for green

green green

when you cut beneath the skin

i wish for green green

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after religion

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love do you have use for me love do you

have use for me

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i’m so soft the water dropped me dry

i mean loose among the walls of the

canyon

i’m so soft touch me

and i’d fall

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is

but the valley is

so green

this last song is called get and where

and when i think about my own growth

i mostly think about all of the tiny

moments that have made that growth occur

so all of the minutia that has allowed

for that and so this song

is about all of those little moments

i may seem young perhaps not

with all my wondering when all the old

women with gray in their hair

tell me mistakes are the only fear to

getting where you really wanna go

i can’t say that i often see

the world with much clarity

unless i’m looking at the grass

the window planes the helicopter getting

where

i really wanna go

yes i’m getting away wanna go

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some days i find it hard

to receive

thank god for my look at me

thank god for my friends who look at me

don’t please allow some space for

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he

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really wants to go

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then i may not tell you to your face

but man i’m trying to take up space

and i used to never say if i

would rather sleep a cry

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yes

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and

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yes