To Do or To Undo

ctrl

z why limit the window of opportunity

command z eve took the apple

did we learn from it fruitfully is that

sinning

because to me reliving is the opposite

of winning

there’s always more boundaries for me to

cross in my next inning

more rules to learn or to simply not

follow

but losing continues to be the hardest

thing to swallow but why erase your

mistakes

when you can embrace these bittersweet

lessons but not in distaste

because to replace the past would be

simply untrue

so my only question today is why to undo

and now that you’ve met shah rule i’d

like you to meet

rahu nam to sono hoga

so for those of you who don’t know who i

am

i’m the guy at the end of galliboy who

lost

to ranveer singh in the rap battle i

heard that

now you see what i do

i’m a rapper i’m a music producer an

audio engineer

a foodie a nomad and a romantic

i was born in hong kong grew up in

moscow russia studied in london and for

the last five years

i’ve lived in mumbai chasing the dream a

dream that i’ve had from the age of 13

to be able to record and perform my own

original music

professionally at the highest level now

living in a modern day digital world

where the control z

and command z button is our go to safety

net

i feel that our real life undo buttons

hides within our perfectionist

tendencies be it our need to take

extra precautions when making any little

decision

and when a mistake is made or wrong is

done we beat ourselves up

endlessly desperately wishing we could

undo

what’s already in the past now

i’m a perfect example of having these

qualities trying to be a superman within

my workspace

micromanaging every part of the way and

when one part

falls short i put myself in the hot seat

to blame

however i’ve had multiple moments of

magic

within my journey which have taught me

the benefits of having what i call

the no undo rule so 2015 i’m in london

i’m one year out of a degree in audio

engineering

and by then i had eight years worth of

recording and performing experience

under my belt

young and still infatuated with my

dreams

from the age of 13. i was quickly hit

with thoughts of giving up

after facing tons

of denial and an oversaturated market

of audio engineers which was my backup

and knocking on an unpenetratable

music industry door so

i had to find other ways of making money

through music tutoring

and music production you could find me

in the back of an advertisement as an

extra sometimes

but my parents who had always been a

very supportive

factor in my career and journey they

always encouraged me to try things out

in bollywood

now i ignorantly shut down every

conversation

because i had this magic belief that one

day i would make it in the western world

and things would just go off you know

but in the back of my mind i knew my

chances were slim

so i gave myself an ultimatum one album

six months all in nothing full

power for six months i wrote

recorded mixed mastered produced

shot a music video planned a launch

party

and because i wanted my music to be

heard at the highest level

i found a way to get my music video on

two of the biggest hip-hop platforms at

the time

world star hip-hop in the us and link up

tv in the uk

so come release day which i conveniently

planned to be on my birthday

my birthday present was a hard-hitting

tidal wave

of hateful and racist comments

and at the time i was already dealing

with depression

and now fell lower than ever

what i’d realized is that i was ignoring

the fact that maybe

my music wasn’t good enough or the fact

that maybe my music

didn’t fit that specific market the

western market

so i had to ask myself all these

questions but i realized one thing

even though i’d given myself an

ultimatum me asking myself these

questions

meant i wasn’t ready to give up so i

accepted my failure in that moment

the video was done except in my failure

but i didn’t take it as career defeat

and i took the advice of my parents

and decided to try a different market in

mumbai

bollywood and i can proudly say

it was definitely the best decision i’ve

ever made in my life and without that

very brief

dark moment in my life i wouldn’t be

standing here

in front of you today now i want to talk

about the

the main factors of the no undo rule

that brought me to this point

one i was fearless from the moment i

started that album

all the way through to me getting those

results

i was fearless two i made myself aware

what were the factors that led me to

such results

and i made myself aware what were the

solutions

what’s next and third

have i had fortitude now for those of

you who don’t know what 42 means

it means to have to be courageous during

difficult times

so i was courageous enough to make a

life-changing decision despite me

feeling ashamed or being in a moment of

embarrassment and in darkness

i was able to build the courage and make

a life-changing decision

now a person a big famous figure in my

life

within music who’s inspired me endlessly

is mr kanye west and

kanye west also i know to be the most

fearless man

within the music industry also as a

phrase

which i live by now after these moments

memories have to be our most painful

blessing

now what i didn’t realize that very dark

period in my life the most

embarrassing moment within my music

journey in london

ended up being my most painful blessing

and in life it’s very important to

cherish

these painful blessings and stamp them

in your memory

for lessons of the future

so what i’ve come to realize in recent

years

there is actually one undo button

at a leisure but it is one that is very

hard to push

now since my name is shah ru and i make

the rules

no really i make the rules and don’t

worry you won’t find that i’ve undo

that from the internet my next rule

completely opposite from the no undo

rule

if you haven’t guessed it yet it’s

called the undo rule

now the undo rule stems from reaching

any level of success

and once you reach this level of success

it’s a very high chance

you can get comfortable and your drive

can hit a little plateau

and the only way to move forward and

grow is to

undo certain ways of thinking which

might be holding you back

now i’m sure you’ve all heard this in

the form of nothing great comes from

staying within your comfort zone

so 2016 june brace yourself for another

amazing gemini season story i’m exactly

one year

away from my most painful blessing from

london

and i’m now eight months into living in

mumbai

my entitled nri ac hopping attitude has

fully wore

off by now and by then i realized

besides the commercial mainstream

monster that is bollywood

i realized there was a huge independent

music scene all over india

which also included an up-and-coming rap

community

now i took all measures of my no undo

rule

to get to work i was networking and

being seen in every event

i made friends and uh convinced

every promoter and every dj to give them

give me the mic no matter

what the setting was and as a branding

plus

i was around my nani my grandmother so

much i found my inner cindy senses fully

bloomed

that every time i left the house i was

covered in more gold chains

the liberace buppy larry and mr t

combined

but they were linking road quality i was

an up and coming rapper

i’ve upgraded since

so you could say i was genuinely happy

with where my life was heading

and career and i got a little taste of

recognition in mumbai

and my drive hit a little plateau

so one day i get a call from a dj friend

of mine

he’s like yo yo sharu what’s up that’s

the way he talks

yo shahru what’s up tonight

i’m performing at anil kapoor’s

daughter’s birthday party

do you want to come hang out with me at

the dj booth

and let’s party and right away the

comfort zone devil on my shoulder

spoke to me no

there’s no way you’re gonna go to this

party

especially not being invited or

personally hired to perform at

because by then by now you’ve performed

at every live music venue in the three

mile radius of bandra

for free so i had an ego for no reason

at all

and last minute my no under rule kicked

in

and i decided let’s be fearless i

decided you know what let’s go to this

party

not to just enjoy the open bar which i

did of course

but i grabbed my microphone i grabbed my

usb

filled it up with some commercial

hip-hop medleys

that i could perform at the party and i

headed to the party

with hopes of using this as an

opportunity to wow the a-listers

of b-town so i reached the party to a

few familiar faces

but i get an unwanted stare from

okay maybe i shouldn’t say her full name

but her name starts with

r and ends with ia kapoor

and it was her sister’s birthday and i

was technically crashing

so fast forward a few hours into the

party everyone’s lit

everyone’s going in and i found my

moment i take my mic

i convinced my friend let me take over

the music for a little bit

i plug in and within moments i got the

place turning up

and by 12 o’clock i was singing happy

birthday

to sonam kapoor with her standing next

to me

and every camera phone in the room was

taking a video of us

now you don’t have to clap yes it gets

better

so the next day i wake up

and i find myself on every bollywood

blog every major bollywood blog

maybe my name wasn’t there but i was in

the video

so when i look back at that night in

retrospect

i don’t look at it as a major stepping

stone in my career

it didn’t do much like opportunity-wise

i didn’t started touring at all the

celebrity birthday parties

but the lesson that i learned

to undo the negative thoughts which hang

on the imaginary comfort zone walls

to break them down and tackle any

kind of opportunity and reach

some moment of magic sometimes

opportunities

might end up with nothing but you never

know if you don’t try

so another person that i look up to

and has brought up brought a lot of

wisdom and guidance to my life

is mr tony robbins and a quote that he

has

that is based off a belief from

generations

is that the meeting of preparation

with opportunity generates the offspring

we call luck

now in that specific birthday party of

sonam kapoor’s

i was presented with the opportunity to

attend even though i made myself feel

like i was crashing

i came prepared with my usb and my

microphone and then i got lucky

now if i did if i did listen to the

comfort zone devil on my shoulder

that one time who knows how many other

moments of luck

i would have missed out on and i would

have continued

to stay within the imaginary walls of my

comfort zone

and i would have not grown because that

same lesson

has helped me break down barriers

and turn the smallest of opportunities

into a career

now a big moment in my career recently

made me realize

the aftermath of both success and

failure

can be very short-lived now

there was a grueling one-year waiting

time between me being onset with ranveer

singh

and the actual release of gully boy now

in that time i had to be patient of

course

but i worked like crazy to make sure i

had enough mileage

so that when the movie came out i had

some sort of name

so come release date amazing reviews

great box office numbers but just weeks

later i find myself asking

what next now this is the same question

i asked myself

in 2015 when my video had failed in

london

what next because win or lose

you have to move on with life a big loss

may have you starting from a lower point

but a big win may have you starting and

feeling

internally obligated to aim higher and

win bigger every time

because no matter what in life you’re

only as good as your last performance

now to sum up the few key experiences

that i’ve shared with you today and a

few thoughts

the one thing that i feel

that can get you through both highs and

lows in your life

is having gratitude and having gratitude

is probably one thing that every

successful person on the globe swears by

it’s not something you can turn on or

order off amazon prime

it’s an internal gratitude muscle that

you have to build every day

and train yourself

to be fully grateful for every moment

and thankful for every lesson now on

that note

my next thought which i’m very grateful

for which i know my

generation z and fellow millennials will

love

is to listen to your parents and elders

as much as possible

now your parents and elders may not

fully understand

what you’re going through and you may

not understand what they’re saying

half the time but your parents and

elders are

are have lived hundreds of more moments

of wanting to undo

than you have had now i know we live in

the most connected

and informative time of the human race

but there are just some answers you

can’t get from google

and your parents and elders are sitting

on a gold mine

worth of knowledge and experience dig

through their thoughts and advice

because it just might help you shine and

i’m very grateful

that it helped me shine lastly

i think we can leave the control z and

command z thought process

in the digital world where it belongs at

our fingertips

and in real life we can adopt a control

s

a control save thought process

so we can stamp in our most painful

blessings

and keep them so we can use them as

references

down the line whenever we need them in

the future

so we can ultimately save our lessons

save our mistakes because one day they

can truly become your savior

thank you very much my name is shah rule