Embbracing Pain

i go running in the hills

next to my home and i love it

feet kiss ground spirits soars

eyes soak up early green and

crusty ground sound of crickets

scent of bark mind awakens heart

opens i lean into life life

with intervene and i run

[Music]

running keeps me going even on days when

i

feel like the sun has forgotten to rise

it’s been a couple of years now since i

started running

but before that for the longest time

without me even realizing my mind

had constantly been on the run

i had been running from my pain

the pain of unmet needs and unfulfilled

dreams

i had been running from my own humanness

trying to get rid of my brokenness

pain is something we all know it’s part

of being human

it’s unpleasant it’s unknown it’s hard

our brains are wired to resist pain

after that the postmodern pressure of

having to be happy and flawless

all the time in the name of being strong

and positive and productive

we are asked to either ignore or

transcend

our difficult emotions

but denying pain doesn’t make it go away

unresolved emotional pain reappears

in the disguise of fear anxiety lack of

self-worth

over-confidence perfectionism busyness

[Music]

anger

constantly turning away from the small

and big pains we inevitably feel

comes at a huge cost

deterrence cynicism insensitivity

addiction consumerism violence

is the price we as a society

pay for stigmatizing our humanness

and promoting the false belief that are

absolutely painfully existence

is possible global stats

show that alcohol addiction

is the cause for one in every 20

deaths each year

1.6 million people worldwide

lose their lives to violence

it is said that pain that is not

transformed

is transferred

unfelt and unacknowledged pain

is unlikely to be transformed

the challenge for us is to find a way

to be with him hold it feel it

such that it heals into deep compassion

and wisdom what would happen

if we stop running from our pain and

paid attention to it

instead of striving to always be happy

what would it take for us to aspire to a

state of

inner well-being there is room

for both pain and joy

instead of demonizing the seemingly

unacceptable parts of ourselves and

others

what would happen if we

made a genuine effort to understand and

empathize

with the underlying feelings

perhaps we would find the humility and

courage

to appreciate our shared humanity and

discover the joy of being true to

ourselves

and the privilege of being moved to

tears by another person’s game

perhaps we would become more aware of

our own habitual condition patterns of

thinking and feeling

and gain some insight into the way our

mind works

we might be able to right-size our thing

instead of

exonerating it or belittling it

you might feel gratitude

for being able to find a sense of

peace and hope in surrender

but unless we try we will never know

in my case it took some big hard blows

from life

for me to realize that by evading the

pain that was real for me

i was living in denial and missing out

on the opportunity to live

a truly authentic life

the consistent practice of mindfulness

meditation made me see for myself

and experience directly the value of

turning toward pain rather than away

from it

i know now that i have the ability

to stop running and pause

i have the choice to stay and calmly

look my pain

in the eye and say yes

i see you

as i offer kindness to my pain i become

less resistant to it

i soften i feel safer

i suffer less i’m able to catch a

glimpse of the silver lining in my cloud

and see the light that unfailingly

shines through

even the darkest of times

amidst deep thing unable to make some

room for joy

for instance when i go running in the

hills i often see small

children playing by the side of the

street

instantly i remember and miss my own

kids

who have been alienated from me

as i learn to allow and acknowledge

the pain of separation i am also

able to allow and appreciate the delight

in exchanging smiles and high fives and

flying kisses

with those little boys and girls

one of us has the capacity and choice

to stop running from our pain

we have the power and freedom to choose

to stay with it

taro brock a teacher of mindfulness

and author of the book radical

compassion

offers the acronym rey r-a-i-n

to help us navigate this process of

meeting

with mindful presence and grace

the r in vain stands for recognizing

what’s going on

recognizing the feeling that’s arising

to do that we need to pause

turn in word and pay attention

the a stands for allowing the experience

to be

there as it is acknowledging

and accepting the feeling with trust

and with calmness without resignation

i is for investigating with interest and

care

as we stay with the feeling it settles

such that we can see what

lies beneath and finally m

stands for giving ourselves nurtures

through self-compassion

this is just one of the many ways in

which

we can relate to our pain with

mindfulness

and heartbeats let me give you a small

example

[Music]

of my own experience earlier

when i felt emotionally stressed i used

to become frustrated with myself

and try to push away the stress or

i or i got caught up in thinking but now

i catch myself doing that

and then i simply pause

and i invite the stress into my

awareness i sit with it

i hold it with love and care like i will

hold my child

i talk to it kindly like i talk to my

best friend

i cry if i need to i hug myself

i say to myself it’s okay

it’s okay to not feel okay

writing poetry helps me stay with the

discomfort of difficult emotions

by expressing them i recently

wrote a poem and i would like to share

it with all of you today

my hand gently reaches for the door of

my heart

and opens it to let in all the pieces

that i had

long locked out they kept knocking and

pounding but i shut them away because i

thought i

had to be a certain way

but now i’m learning

that to be holy i first need

to be whole so now

i vow and welcome with dignity

and with honor each one of these sacred

outlaw pieces

into the limitless sky of my soul

fear come here and sit in this cushion

chair

you are safe in this space

doubt come rest and relax

amidst bugs of self-care that blossom

into faith

anger come talk to me let’s hold hands

and walk away

tell me how may i offer kindness to your

name

loneliness how i long to hold you in my

arms and weak

and sing to you of times gone by of

loves and lovers of broken friendship

a song that soothes you into

sweet sleep

self-judgment there you are come to me

let me make you a nice warm cup of tea

shave broken child with pain and blame

look into my eyes i see you

i see how earnestly you care

i hear your whisper prayer

guilt come lean by my side

let me share the burden you carry let us

together

cry come

on come all precious human

vulnerabilities it’s time now to find

belonging in this boundless space of

heart that has no rigid walls

it’s time for you to be held by humble

brothers

to be encouraged with tender decorates

to melt into deep acceptance

it’s time for us to celebrate celebrate

the promise of grace

to embrace the beauty of night

the loveliness of light above

all to know the simplicity of

this truth here

none are not invited

here all are free to come and go

here all our home