Letting Paint Dry

[Music]

hi there my name is daniel j

watts i am a 2020 tony nominee

and i’m a storyteller this is my new jam

me you don’t really let paint dry

one of my mentors said to me one day he

meant it as a compliment

yeah i guess you’re right i grinned back

pseudo shyly

as i took said compliment and placed it

on my head like a half crown

i’ve always i’ve always taken pride in

being the kind of artist that’s

always making moves

we were having one of our catch-up

sessions my mentor and i

july 2019 i between shooting episodes of

the marvelous mrs maisel

and moving into my new apartment uptown

in harlem

i just returned from paris

i just gone out there to hang you know

shop a little take in a couple museums

sit down at cafes and watch the people

go by you know try parisian

let’s defend what night little did i

know that my vacation would turn into a

workation and i would be asked to

perform with my friend ray

as he headlined the international music

festival afropunk

okay i might have known a little bit but

i wasn’t gonna let that paint dry

um

upon my return dave chappelle was making

his broadway debut

followed by an invite-only impromptu jam

session

i had an invite i jammed at the session

hey

that’s all right a week from then

titus burgess’s album would be released

on which i had two features and two days

prior deadline would announce broadway’s

tina musical

finds its ike turner and last og

co-stars

daniel j watts

and i’ve not yet started painting like

this

the week before rehearsals my mother and

i would travel to clarksdale mississippi

memphis tennessee and nutbush tennessee

to see how a younger ike turner might

have maneuvered through life

then back to nyc to finish shooting

basil then a quick trip to la for an

album release concert

then back to new york city to start

tenant rehearsal

four weeks of rehearsal three weeks of

tech four more weeks of previews and now

it’s november and it’s opening night

my family oh my family which consists of

my

my mother my two aunts my two cousins

and my 91 year old granny fly up to

support

they are drenched drenched

in southern pride and basking in

familial glory

as tina turner pretends to give me a

light smacking around at the curtain

call in front of 1500 people

it was awesome

skip over to thanksgiving which means

it’s basically christmas so you might as

well say

it’s a new year happy new years 2020

spoiler alert things are going to get

wild

fast but i wasn’t about to let that 20

20 paint get dry

first off performances of my one man

show

overlap with my eight shows a week at

tina fully equipped with no days off

and a midnight performance on a friday

night the night before two show saturday

wet paint wet paint wet paint

but leading into february i’m starting

to feel the effects

everything’s starting to blend

i’m only three months into my one year

contract and i’m already feeling like

i need to break i need a vacation

moving into march and now taking on the

role of arc turner

has started to take its toll and i can’t

tell

whose trauma is whose i can’t tell whose

trauma

is huge and there’s news of this

mysterious

illness making its broadway debut

um but this paint though

all cylinders are firing i’m firing all

cylinders because there’s tony buzz

gotta pack those interviews in which

means suits purple suits

blue suits green suits you it suits me

and is that a hazmat suit aquamarine

and as it seems the paint is beginning

to dry

i ask myself do i really want all this

i mean all of this the fortune and the

fame and the celebrity because dave

chappelle said to

david letterman that the more you invest

into yourself as a celebrity the less of

yourself you get to own

and i asked myself

am i really going anywhere like what’s

my sense of direction because

i feel like i’m not going anywhere or

like i’m running in place on a hamster

wheel that i don’t know how to get off

of and it’s like i have to ask

permission to do the thing that i know

that i need to do for myself

and then and then and then and then

the world finally stops

and because everything is in flux

i am forced to take a much needed

reprieve as that mysterious illness has

been granted an extension

and though i know the answer is not for

a while

i kept asking myself when’s broadway

coming back

because even though i really really

really need to take this break i really

really really really

really need a check and i keep checking

the status on this mysterious illness

because i need that paint to dry

now and now everyone’s dazed and

confused our grays turn to blues i’m i’m

off all of the socials but i stay glued

to the news because

i’m watching the paint dry that will not

dry

fast enough for me to keep going

skip to the summer skip to the summer

now the country’s on fire

i’m back on all the socials

because my one man show has been revived

and revamped for the virtual space so i

can comment on the deaths of ahmad

briona and george broadway still doesn’t

know when it’s going to come back

but now it’s in the hot seat for all of

its past transgressions

and i think it might be time for me to

take a break from the city

three weeks in north carolina two weeks

in l.a one week in portland

i come back to new york broadway still

doesn’t know when it’s going to come

back i need something to take my mind

off of all these pandemics and the next

thing i know

i’m painting with my feet i needed

something live

and in color that wasn’t live and in

color

and now i realize i’m obsessed with

diving

in colors watching them

splatter swirl and blend and do all the

things people shouldn’t be doing right

now

and as i’m in the midst of my deep dive

i realized i had to learn how to let

paint dry

i have to stop

and take a break because if i don’t my

yellows

and my blues will make green

even if that’s not what i really really

want

and then i started to think about all

the other times when i wasn’t letting

paint dry when i

wasn’t taking time away to let things

heal

like like when i was still dancing on

two sprained ankles even though the

doctor told me

i needed to take a break for a while

when i was

trying to force closure in a newly

broken up relationship

because i didn’t want to deal with the

healing process or when

or when i fussed out my my reps because

because networks haven’t called to offer

me a deal a week after my one man show

all the times when i didn’t want time to

take the time it takes

to reveal itself to me

all the times when i didn’t believe

that what i had already done was enough

and that i didn’t have to keep going

back in

with more color

broadway can’t come back

it has to come forward

and when it does it has to be more

expressive

with the colors that it uses

and unfortunately i can’t finish this

piece for you right now

because in order for me to do what i

really want to be able to do

i have to let this paint dry

and that’s something that i’m i’m still

really really really

learning to be okay with

but i know it’ll be worth the wait thank

you

you