Breaking barriers through food and passion

[Music]

[Applause]

my story is a bit unusual

i studied law i did a phd in law

and in 2012 finally i submitted my phd

and i was invited to do my phd

fiverr which is the oral exam and

i knew one thing for sure this was like

for me

the moment of great change and the story

of

my academic legal life was going to end

only i knew it i hadn’t told anybody as

yet

and what i really wanted to do and i

knew this from the very beginning when i

started my law degree

i wanted to cook but i actually wanted

to feed people

this gave me the greatest pleasure i

felt my most powerful

when i was able to serve someone

something i had cooked

in some ways it was my way of showing

affection and love and

being able to give them something that

took them home

for me food was always about giving

people

that emotional moment when they ate the

food

and i knew that you know i’m not going

to become

a lawyer i’m going to cook i want to do

something

but at that time you know in england in

fact

anywhere in the west everywhere you

looked it was male chefs that you saw on

television

uh and you know on in the media it was

always about men who were cooking in

kitchens

the greatest irony of it all is that you

know in every south asian

home you go to you will invariably find

a woman

but in every south asian restaurant you

go to not just in india pakistan

bangladesh sri lanka

but almost everywhere in the world you

would usually find

a man cooking in the kitchen and it was

you know a desire for me that i wanted

to cook

but there was no road or route in front

of me

i happened to then have this

conversation with my neighbor who told

me

you know there’s this thing called

secret supper clubs that you can do

which is

to host a dinner in your own house as if

it’s a restaurant

and that’s when i knew i had found a way

forward i’d found a way

to serve food of my home of my heritage

without you know having to go through

the stress of you know where would i go

you know how could i do this business

because there were no

examples nobody around who was doing

anything at that time

and then when i started investigating

supper clubs i got an even bigger shock

because i realized that it supper clubs

are being done by a lot of people of

east asian origin

you know singaporeans and you know

cantonese food from hong kong

you didn’t have any indians doing supper

club now this really worried me because

i was concerned that you know

people think they know indian food in

this country

there’s been a long history you know

indian restaurants have always been

you know around forever and ever it

seems and people have an

idea of what is indian food which is not

necessarily what is indian food now i

was worried that you know

if i served my narcissi kofta my chicken

chop

my luchi aloo dum nira mish you know

and it didn’t resemble the kind of korma

and sweet sweet kind of you know

things that people were passing off as

kurma a lot of make

make made up dishes like balti you know

which is a bucket

and also chicken tikka masala

everything was full of ghee and cream uh

in this country

even with all these setbacks that you

know nobody you know knew what indian

food was really

i was concerned you know i’m talking

about 2012 so

you know many years uh from now it was

before

uh people things have changed you know

and there’s a lot of regional food now

but at that time there wasn’t

and you know i just decided that you

know i was going to risk it and i was

going to do a supper club

but i was i lacked confidence and i

lacked money

both the money was just you know thank

god i just needed to buy

one big pot to make biryani i had got 50

pounds from an aunt for eid

which was quite a big thing because you

know once you reach a certain age no one

gives you any money for eat

and i bought myself a pot and that’s how

i started but i

remembered my own heritage and i knew

that you don’t start

anything new without an

auspicious way to start that you do

something good for others

so the first few supper clubs i did in

my house was all for hunger charities

these were organizations that were

british that were feeding people in war

zones

in famines in where there were floods

and

you know i was contributing the entire

money

from the supper club towards these

projects because i felt

that this way i was feeding the hungry

first

so in those war zones in those feeding

camps

where there was famine and they were

fighting to save the lives of children

through my suburb club i was donating

the entire money

and i felt this is like the right thing

to do this is just the way that you

should start

and of course this makes me sound a bit

um you know

conventional traditional you know but

then i was also not

conventional and traditional and

something else which i liked to my

husband

because i knew he would hate this you

know

american academic he likes students but

doesn’t like people

so i thought if he doesn’t know there’s

no harm done

so i waited till he went away he was to

do a lot of kind of research trips he’s

an academic so

i knew exactly when he was traveling and

while he was away i did supper clubs and

it was very very exciting because

i had all these people around in my

house and

in the beginning i was of course doing

all of this for charity and raising

funds and talking about you know

the work that the charities were doing

but then you know

i then got the confidence that yes you

know maybe i can

you know do it like a not like a

business but like a profession i can

start cooking

and i wasn’t alone in this entire

journey i had already made friends with

some amazing women

who i had met who were from south asia

who were nannies and cleaners

you know around my area and these were

part of this journey they were with me

throughout

but then as you know all stories like

this have to come to an end it wasn’t

that i was caught

my children complained a lot and i

thought you know enough is enough you

know i cannot do this to my entire

family

to cause so much disruption so then i

took up an offer at that time you know

it was too exciting and we were loving

cooking

and this time it wasn’t just me we had i

had other women who were involved in

this

and i could see the transformation in

their lives it was giving them a lot of

self-respect and honor and

they were feeling less isolated you know

as immigrants in this country

and i took up an offer to do a pop-up

you know which is like you know you pay

a very small rent and you go into a

kitchen

in a very very very trendy pub in soho

which is you know

very much part of london lifestyle you

know where people go out

the evenings you know people go out

drinking it’s very trendy

and i failed completely because you know

no one wanted to eat indian food it was

very unusual to have you know people

don’t want to eat indian food they think

this is something heavy and greasy and

you know you don’t you don’t have this

when you have you know

a pint of beer with your friends it

wasn’t seen as cool enough

wasn’t trendy enough everybody over

there looked like you know aging rock

stars

you know there was like you know they

were like bikers outside you know

heavily tattooed men

lots of kind of piercing they were not

interested in my food

i was not willing to lose i did try

and one of the things that i’ll always

remember is that i tried to you know to

get people to eat

you know i thought let’s give the best

thing that we have which is deep fried

samosa

you know these guys will eat it because

they will love this whole idea of

something that is who doesn’t like

samosa

i tried to give them samosas and i

remember one guy don’t write it on me

i don’t want your curry love that day we

sold nothing

i remember crying when i went up

i tried the whole day to sell just one

dish

and i had failed and i knew that i’ll

come back

tomorrow even though i was totally

crushed

but then my christmas was going to

change dramatically

i had in this country the most well

respected

70 year old food critic of the evening

standard which is like the free

newspaper you get in the tube stations

you know huge london following you know

very iconic critic you know

with a lot of kind of gravitas that

people took her very seriously

she turned up for her 70th birthday i

didn’t recognize her because i don’t

know

what she looks like i don’t know how any

food critics look like at that time

and then she wrote this absolutely

amazing review

which came out on a thursday and the

queue was outside

the feeling of having

achieved this spectacular

you know dream b was suddenly

someone big there were queues of people

and the no curry love he stood for three

hours to get a table

to eat i never gave him a bill i told

him

this that you sat on my table and ate is

enough

he told me please forgive me i sell my

half but i will not take your money

i couldn’t i couldn’t get myself to take

his money

but you know it’s just a lesson

i could have left that night i could

have walked away

and my dreams would have been finished

but i picked myself

up to fight another day and i’m so glad

i did

i’m so glad i did and it was really

you know then very successful and we

were like buzzing and packed and

everything

and then of course as all things happen

something that’s happened in my life and

had to stop

but this happened with my son i

discovered you know i’m typical indian

mother

i checked my son’s notes and thought

he’s got no notes

and i told him do you take notes in

class and i realize he doesn’t

he has gcses and he’s going to fail so i

thought fine you know i’m going to do

the very ami thing and i’m going to

close my business go home

and sit and write his geography and

history notes otherwise this boy is

going to fail

and i said you know with very short

notice i was saying goodbye to everybody

saying you know i’m so sorry i have to

leave i’m so sorry

and then i told this gentleman who was

eating regularly in our in our

in the pop-up at the in the pub that i’m

so sorry

sir i have to leave and i hope you enjoy

it he said what are you doing where are

you going i said i’m going home because

my son is going to fail his exams if i

don’t go and make his notes

you told me your story cannot end like

this and i said yes it does

when you are from you know my culture in

my background

your children’s exams are very important

this is how your story ends

he told me no tonight i’m going to talk

to someone tomorrow i’m going to go and

have a look at this

space i have i’m a landlord and i

thought

sweet man he’s being so nice to me just

to make him happy i’ll go

so i went you know it was just behind

the pub

but when i walked in something hit me in

there

i saw this as another moment

of change in my life and i said no

i’m gonna do it i had no money it was

very tough

i went through a lot of struggle to open

the restaurant

but we did it we opened an all-female

restaurant

run by housewives home cooks

the average age of a woman cooking was

we just opened and it was you know we

had a lot

of loyal people who had come to supper

clubs in my house

but then you know just like the fame

ashley game changer

i got an email from out of the blue from

the executive producer uh brian mcginn

of chef stable

and he said i know your story and i

think you’re fascinating and we would

like to

you to be the first british chef on

chef’s table

initially i thought this is a hoax i

thought this can’t be real

how does he even know who i am but you

know they had these stories coming out

in the media you know people had been

fascinated by the story that i was this

housewife you know but

just all women keep cooking in the

kitchen and we had opened a restaurant

you know very very

unusual for that time and

eventually i spoke to him and to

my great delight he was very open-minded

very open-hearted like you know what do

you want to do

i said first thing i want to do is i

want to tell the stories of my women too

this cannot just be the story of myself

and he told me we’ve never had

any other chef asking us to show their

team

but i know i stand on the shoulders of

giants

these women who have come from deprived

backgrounds

lack of education abusive relationships

they had now become so powerful they

were lifting me up

so but they were great and you know for

those who have seen the episode you will

see

not only were they featured in it they

have their names on the wall next to

their faces

this was very important because in our

culture nam

is name but nam is also fame and i was

someone who didn’t have

you know a godfather or someone you know

there was no nepotism no connection i

didn’t have a mentor

this was my strength came from this team

of women so i really

you know we really all just cooked the

way that we knew how to cook

we cooked with patience we cooked with

love and this term

ibadat we serve with ibadat which is an

urdu term

but it is the way and the grace with

which we serve people

it is meditation it is prayer and that’s

what was part of you know

our tradition in this restaurant and

yes a lot of people would ask me you

know wow you have

you know a team of unprofessionals and i

would tell them

they have life experience in their 60s

they have lost and won and lost and won

from teenage times they have served food

to people

they have the kind of experience i want

i want people who know how to cook with

patients

with suburb who step back and cook

because

they their only experience was not to

impress

but they cook for people they loved this

is the experience i wanted so for me

this was the professionalism that you

know i really needed

and you know in my kitchen there was no

hierarchy

we were all equal this is very different

from this kind of you know

regimented kitchens that you have in the

west where people are paid different

wages

and in most cases women of color women

are paid less

there’s so much hierarchy you won’t find

women being able to cut through

that middle section they stay in that

place because it’s the men who dominate

the top

and i always you know i can make this

description uh which you know you will

all recognize

this for us is our second innings

none of us are going to get a chance to

come out and bat again

this is our final time and for us

we hit every ball out of the park so

that kind of drive and ambition and

desire to succeed that comes from my

team of women in their 60s

is unbeatable we cannot lose

because their attitude is every day

we will win every day is our victory

the desire to succeed and perfect comes

from them from where within

and i just you know

always think of a poem you know of

rabindranath or you know i’m half

bengali

this thing of akla cholore that

you light the path not for yourself but

for others who come behind you

and for all of us you know the whole

team

we know the world is watching us we need

to succeed

so that the legacy we leave is that

you can be powerful and you can be good

you do not need to hurt you do not need

to crush other people

to become successful and this is the

greatest legacy

of deuteronomy express our journey is so

unconventional

we’ve had no one supporting us you know

from the industry i have no network

but we were so good the world couldn’t

ignore us

and our passion and desire people saw

and they felt it and they tasted it in

the food

and i just think that you know never

ever give up

when you hit the hurdle and you fall

stand up because this is your test as we

say this is your imtihan

you need to rise above every hurdle and

in removing the hurdle

you remove the hurdle for the person

coming behind you and this is what i

want to do

i want to in my lifetime see women

surpass me

i want to see women great with great

glory in the kitchen

i want to see on our back for south

asian women

who cook in their houses who have never

been paid

who have never been given the glory they

deserve they have

nourished and nurtured generations our

time has come now

and this would be dodgy express’s

biggest legacy

if people will remember us as housewives

home cooks but at some point we ruled

london