The Psychology Behind Personality

before

coming to this school i’d been in my

older one for

nine consecutive years if you think

about it

it’s a double-sided coin because on the

positive side

you basically know all the ins and outs

of the place

you become an expert about everything

but on the negative side getting too

comfortable for me

wasn’t all that great

getting too comfortable meant that i

didn’t really care

how i presented myself and that came

with its fair share of downsides

if you would have asked any of my past

mates what they thought of me

they’d probably tell you oh she’s really

quiet you won’t hear much from her

i was mostly branded my whole life as

the shy one and

i didn’t really like it it felt like it

could never change

but when i figured i was going to

transfer i thought to myself

this is this is perfect it’s my

time for me to basically leave the

stigma

there wasn’t going to be shy unlikable

quiet me

it’s going to be a new me habiba

2.0 i had a very simple plan

with the biggest aspect that i was going

to become extroverted

basically i was going to wait till the

first day of school i’ll go up to people

and i’ll talk to them i’ll make jokes

i’ll basically stun them with my newly

acquired charisma

so fast forward to the first day of

school my head was held high

and my dreams were bigger than ever

i went into class and approached the

first person i saw

i went up to them very enthusiastically

and i said hello

i’m the newcomer hi my name is haviba

a little less enthusiastically she

replied yeah

hi um you’re a newcomer yeah welcome

i was like yeah yeah um i told you my

name’s habiba i just came

i just came now your school’s really big

and

she she just looked away

i thought to myself it’s fine don’t

panic um

maybe maybe you approached her wrong or

maybe you should have been

maybe you should have been a lot more

enthusiastic maybe a little less

i just thought about it and i figured

that

that what i thought was stupid there’s

no

there’s no such thing as becoming

extroverted overnight

i am i am the shy one i am a quiet kid

no one likes me i can’t do this

i thought to myself well it’s pretty

unfair that i was born this way

because you know i’m born an introvert i

can’t really go up to people and talk to

them i can’t

i can’t start a conversation i can’t be

charismatic this isn’t my thing

why do specific people have more friends

or acquaintances but i don’t

what’s so special about those people

if i would ask someone amongst us right

now to

tell me what they like the most about

the friend

they’d probably say oh they’re so much

fun to hang out with

or we have a lot of common interests or

i love

their personality so with that lead in

mind it got me to start researching

about

what is a personality this question in

fact has been asked for hundreds of

years

with one of the very first answers being

found by philosopher hippocrates where

he theorized

that basically the personality was based

on four fluids

found in the human body the yellow

the black the red and the white so

to iterate he basically meant that if

you had more

yellow bile in your liver you tend to be

really extroverted

if you have more black bile in your

kidneys you tend to be really

detail-oriented if you have more red

blood in your heart

you’re very talkative and enthusiastic

and if you have more white falcon in

your lungs

you tend to be really calm and peaceful

his theory was that basically your

personality could be a mixture of these

four fluids

or one of these fluids could be leading

your personality

another theory was found by physician

franz gao

where he theorized that one’s

characteristics or traits

were based on the distances found

between the bumps

on their skull these were only

two of the theories out there and there

are multiple theories out there

but even with all these theorizing

psychologists have yet to pinpoint

an official explanation to what a

personality

is however it was jotted down as

a pattern of unchanging traits and

special

characteristics a personality is made

from

a lot of different aspects you have a

societal

culture inheritance relations and so

many more

so you could notice how you’re very

outgoing like her mom or very

soft-hearted like your dad

but even with all this variety humans in

fact have

a lot in common in a psychological book

called personality in nature society and

culture

there’s a famous quote that says every

man in certain respects is like

all other men like some other men and

like no

other man so everyone here

with no exceptions shares their need for

sleep

and for food some of us share our

undying love for pizza

and every single one here has a specific

pattern

or habit or inclinement that no other

person can possibly relate to

but even with all this aspect and

variety

psychologists in fact pinpointed five

traits

that can be found in every single human

being

however with a scale

these five traits being

conscientiousness

agreeableness neuroticism openness

and extraversion so to iterate in

conscientiousness

you could be basically very organized or

could be really careless

in agreeableness you could be really

friendly or you could be really

uncooperative

and neuroticism you can always be really

anxious or you could be really calm and

collected

or an openness you can prefer a routine

or you could be a lot more spontaneous

and an extra virgin which probably most

of you

are the most familiar with as people who

like to go out

and party and meet new people and the

others who like to stay home

and read books and just do nothing

however this is a widely held

misconception

the two terms introvert and extrovert

were popularized by swiss psychiatrist

carl jung

where he basically stated that a person

is an introvert

or an extrovert depending on how they

tend to turn

mentally so introverts turn inwards

and extroverts turn outwards it’s almost

like recharging your battery

introverts recharge in solitude while

extroverted charged by being with people

and meeting new people and

going out his point was that

these were basically the two extremes of

a scale

meaning that every person falls

somewhere on the scale

and if you were right in the middle

you’d be called an ambivert

it is no secret that being extroverted

is usually a lot more preferred

it’s nicer when someone is the light of

the party they’re the ones making the

joke

they’re the ones introducing people to

each other but aside from the

social aspect or the societal aspect

introverts in fact have a lot of

positives

with one of them being that they prefer

having deeper

talks they like to know what really

boggles your mind what really is on your

mind

this also might be a bit of a shocker

but introverts are

great leaders with some examples being

bill gates or abraham lincoln

another positive about introverts or

actually positives

is that they’re careful they’re

attentive they’re prepared they’re

detail-oriented

they think well before they act they’re

good listeners and on top of all that

they’re great counselors

so your introverted friend is basically

your free therapist

so to sum it up introverts reflect

more and act less well extroverts

act more and reflect less

finally i think i made no effort to hide

the fact that i am

introverted maybe even excessively

but as a matter of fact it’s very

important for you to reach a point where

you’re very

understanding and content of yourself

but no matter how understanding you are

this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t

adjust yourself to the situation you’re

going through

so let’s say your friend is having a bad

day and you tend to be really

introverted

we play yourself up in an extroverted

way to try and cheer them up

or let’s say your mom’s friends are

coming over or cousins who are coming

from all across the country

we do these things out of appreciation

and consideration

so to answer my first dilemma is

can i change my personality i think

through this journey i truly realize

that there’s no such thing as becoming a

new person overnight

you can’t really become extroverted

overnight the true rebranding or

changing

is understanding your personality

knowing your positives and working with

what you got

to make yourself and your loved ones

happy

when we all gain a wider understanding

of the variety

people carry themselves every day will

be able to

have a wider tolerance for people will

be able to understand them easily

we’ll also be able to cater everyone’s

positives in a way

that will benefit our society so make

sure

to always keep an open mind and to know

that difference

is a strength not a weakness thank you