How to Build Power Wherever You Are

how many times have you said

if i only could focus a little bit more

i’d be able to get through this

or if i could adapt to this new

situation

i i want to get to this new thing but i

haven’t let go of a new thing i can’t

let it go

if i can only adapt to this new

situation embrace this new normal

then i’m gonna be all right or if i had

more time

uh extra night uh an hour

something a moment that i could really

help this project

fly or if i could just get a little bit

more energy

a good night’s sleep a nap something at

the bottom of this cup of coffee

that would be amazing and i could truly

shine how many times have you said that

i know i’ve said that countless times

usually when i’m praying to the gods of

deadlines

but what i found over the years as a

entrepreneur as a creative

as a public speaker and speaking to

literally thousands of them

is that we always have that we always

have the ability to focus

to adapt to uh have time

and to have energy you can call them the

fates f-a-t-e

we always have them they are actually

part of

our human experience if we don’t have

any more we’re not alive

if you have zero energy you’re not

functioning and so as long as we’re

living and breathing we

can continue to create and make amazing

things

we have that ability we tend to get

confused though

because those resources that focus that

agility that time and

energy tends to change depending on our

personal

and professional circumstances for

instance

if you’re 85 year old a retiree

then you’re probably hyper focused f

because you spent nine

decades spending time trying to figure

out what you really care about

that’s actually the blessing of being

that old but

you might not be as agile a because

you spent nine decades figuring out what

you care about you don’t need as much

stimuli to figure out what your life

meant what matters in your life now

you might have a lot of time t because

if you’re blessed enough to

have no major health issues and be in

good shape

otherwise then you’re only focused on

yourself

and or your partner and lastly energy e

you might not have as much now i have

good friends that are in their 80s even

in their 90s we talk regularly

they have a lot of energy they

understand we understand

that they are the exception to the rule

so we start to get into trouble

and start to have challenges when we

start to see

what we lack compared to another person

we start to feel guilt and shame

when we worry about how someone else is

executing something

and not how we would execute it or vice

versa

we start to ch shame and judge other

people

when they’re doing things differently

than how we would do them so let’s say

this 85 year old retiree

is connected with a 25 year old grad

student

the grad student their focus f

might not be that great because they

have so much stuff going on

and they’re only 25 they’re still trying

to figure out for lack of better term

their life

purpose but they might be really agile

a because they’re trying to figure out

their life purpose

you know when you’re in your 20s that

next book

the next quote the next class you take

next person you date

could end up changing the course of your

life

that is amazing so of course you’re

going to be adaptable different things

because you don’t know what’s going to

change

the course of your life time t

might not be that high i remember being

a 20-something grad

student and i know my time was spent

working on my dissertation

i know my time was spent trying to

figure out how i was going to make a

living to pay for the grad school

and lastly i was just trying to have a

social life in between all that

time was very much a premium but energy

though

that’s off the charts because you’re 25

it’s until you get older where you

realize how much energy you actually had

when you were 25

right but what happens when you get

these two people in the room

85 year old retiree and a 25 year old

grad student

imagine the younger person saying hey

let’s work on this project together

let’s get this done let’s make an impact

on the world let’s just do a couple

all-nighters and we can get it done this

week

it’s probably not going to work that

well right

because remember 85 year olds focus or

main thing

is focus and time so that’s powerful

enough to make the grand canyon

but it’s not necessarily powerful enough

to make you stable and strong when

you’re doing all-nighters

or imagine 85 year old going to 25 year

old and saying hey

we care about this we’re both passionate

about it

why don’t we spend the rest of our lives

focused on this one thing

you probably get laughed after and

that’s because there are different

places

so we tend to have challenges because we

look at what we lack

if we’re having a hard time focusing

then we tend to not pay attention to how

much time we might have

if we don’t have a lot of time we have

more time

then we tend to not pay attention to how

adaptable we are to different

circumstances

that’s where our strengths lie and they

vary from moment to moment

and life to life now this has been an

interesting year

to study this stuff for a numerous

amount of reasons

but two in particular back in march

every one of my social circles from

friends and family to

to clients the people that i saw from

afar

suddenly went into one of two camps i

don’t mean politically

i mean as far as time you can call it

pandemic time

so there were a group of people that had

more time

than perhaps they ever had in their life

since they were children

or babies their time resources went

through the roof

and now they’re trying to read war and

peace

now they’re learning how to code now

they’re making bread from scratch

i don’t mean getting a starter from

somebody down the street or going to a

bakery

i’m talking about feeding the yeast day

in

day out i have never done it but i heard

it takes a lot

you need a lot of time for that suddenly

they’re able to do all these things that

they wanted to do

and trying to fill up this time

hopefully in a healthful way

so that’s one group then you have this

other group

who actually have their time reserves

diminish

significantly they are their first

responders

bless them for all the work they do for

still to this day

for months they’ve been time deficient

and try and take care of all of us there

are the people who are food insecure

we’re financially insecure the

unemployment rate is off the charts now

still

and they’re just trying to get through

the day i’ve been broke before

it takes a lot of time to just get

through the day

and people are really struggling right

now just to get through the day

and then there are those who have health

issues

that are significant during this

pandemic

or taking care of people in particularly

vulnerable situations

such as people who are physically

challenged or people who have

um very young children or people who

have

older older relatives that are taken

care of

i have a seven-year-old and a

four-year-old my partner and i have not

had

a day of peace since march 11th not that

we’re counting

but with this former group who has more

time than they ever

experienced before what an opportunity

within the pain within the challenges

within the suffering

mentally and otherwise that all of us

are facing right now

this particular group who has more time

than ever

has such a gift

again how many times have we said if

only had the time for this

then i would do that imagine if the

universe swept

in and said i’m gonna move that boulder

here you go here

now what are you going to do this isn’t

from a place of

judgment or that you should be

productive it’s not a treatise on that

it’s more a level of self-honesty if you

believe that you would do this thing

if you had more time and you have more

time

and you’re still not doing that thing

then there must be something else that’s

stopping you

it doesn’t matter whether you do it or

not what matters is why

so remember there’s two things that came

out this past year

the first one is this pandemic time the

second thing

isn’t really new well it’s new to some

people

and it has to do with time and it’s more

of a reckoning

perhaps more of a recognition for all of

us

my friend and fellow author nila for

merchant

when i talk to her about this about

these resources these faiths this focus

this agility

this time and this energy she said well

what about the headwinds

and i just nodded the headwinds that

are against you when you’re a person of

color

the headwinds that wrap around you and

try to hold you

when you’re born a cis woman the head

ones that

try to push you down when you’re part of

the lgbtq

community what about those

the late author tony morrison said the

very serious function

of racism is distraction its goal

is to stop you from doing your work

the very serious function of racism

is distraction it stops you from doing

your work

so you can replace that with respect to

mrs morrison

with any type of ism and you’ll probably

have a similar effect

you might be affected by these isms

that’s when i say that i bootstrapped my

company

it’s different to you than it is to me

that’s why we don’t have the same 24

hours in a day

because we might have these same

resources these

these this focus this agility this time

this energy this these fates

but how they come out might be different

because they might be deluded

or disturbed or disrupted

that means that if your main thing is

energy

then a lot of that energy might be spent

yelling and fighting to get into as they

say in hamilton in the room where it

happened

where people are making judgments about

your life

and the life of people like you your

energy is spent

trying to get a seat at that table if

your main thing

is time then a lot of that can be spent

healing or unwinding

a life of setbacks

and challenges towards you or people

like you

and that might not stop with you that

could be unwinding damage

from a generation or two

or ten if your main resource is agility

then you’re bobbing and weaving going

around the

traps the setbacks the the roadblocks

that are put in front of you

consciously or unconsciously by people

or by people who created systems

to do just that and if your main thing

is focus

then it might be a little wavering

sometimes because you have to worry

about the target on your back

but i want you to understand and i need

this to be understood

by you that

your resource could be deluded could be

denied

could be stopped

but they will always be there they will

always be at your disposal

they will always be part of you and no

jim crow laws

no lavender laws no voter suppression

no no gaslighting can stop you

from having your life force from having

your fate

from having your power and that very

combination of things that you have

will help rock a world that’s better for

all of us

so if your main thing is

then you’re able to see beyond the

distraction beyond the circus

you’re able to see what’s important keep

your eyes on the prize

if your main thing is agility then

you’re able to bob and weave

and run circles around the people or the

systems that consciously are

unconsciously trying to keep you down

in a way where you might actually

destroy those very systems

if your main resource is time then

you’re able to understand this is a

marathon

not a sprint and that time bends towards

justice

as one wise man said and if your main

thing is energy

then people can look you in the eye and

they understand that you will not stop

until that battle is won

our particular chemistry your particular

chemistry

your particular resource allows you to

perform an alchemy

a change from lead to gold in this world

that is your secret

and those proverbial headwinds will

always bow towards

the positive power of human nature

your simple task is to figure out what

your best nature is