Knowing Your Power

[Music]

as often as we act

like people can read our minds i have

bad news for you

they can’t that means we have to express

out loud what’s in our heads so

if you have aspirations personal or

career goals that you

want to achieve you need to tell people

so they can help you

no one accomplishes anything of

significance

all by themselves some researchers say

don’t tell anyone your aspirations and

some say tell

only the right people i say tell

everyone tell the universe why because

i’m not smart enough to know

who the right people are you never know

who can help you

so give everyone a chance i had just

gotten my first executive level role at

ibm

and i knew that i wanted it overseas

assignment in japan at some point in my

career set

because that appeared to be a strategic

step toward the c-suite

now japan wasn’t a huge market for ibm

i didn’t know any japanese executives

but that

didn’t stop me from telling people that

one day i wanted an opportunity

to work in japan who did i tell

every ibm person at my level or above

whenever i had the opportunity

now one clarifying point how you tell

the universe

is very important you can’t be arrogant

or act entitled no one wants to help

people like that

instead share it as a future aspiration

for instance i’d say one day i’d like

the opportunity to work in japan

with my executive management experience

and strong marketing and sales

background

i’m sure there are several roles that i

could compete for one day

notice what i did i shared my future

goal

yes but i also gave the listener an

understanding of my skills and my

experience

people need to know what you bring to

the table

as well as what you want to do in order

for them to think of you

when opportunities arise fast forward

almost two years

i did indeed get a job in japan it was

facilitated by tim mcchristian

who remembered that i had said i was

interested in working in japan one day

if the concept of sharing your goals and

aspirations scares you

you aren’t alone turns out a lot of

people are afraid

a 2015 study revealed that one of the

top fears for americans

is fear of failure the only thing

outranking fear of failure was fear of

horror movies

and that was only ahead by one percent

so

why do you need to push through the fear

and take the risk

well risk and opportunity

are two sides of the same coin if you

don’t take risks

you won’t get opportunities more

importantly though

people can’t help you if they don’t know

what you are trying to do

in my experience when i tell the

universe what i want

the universe ultimately helps

more than a decade ago my late husband

scotty

was diagnosed with terminal cancer we

fought it for years

agreeing that we would live life first

and fight cancer second

then we went through a very bad period

he lost

40 pounds and dropped to a mere 160

pounds

on his 6 foot 2 inch frame he could no

longer walk

and his immune system was so compromised

his oncologist said

he could only eat foods prepared at home

in addition to that his chemo treatments

blood transfusions

doctors appointments all required him to

be at the medical center three to four

times a week

he wouldn’t let me quit working stating

in no uncertain terms

that if i quit working that our whole

life would be about cancer

and if that was the case then what was

he fighting for

whoa so i can’t quit

but i also can’t manage being a ceo

taking care of him

getting him to all these appointments

and cooking all those meals from scratch

so what did i do i told the universe

i told the universe that i needed help i

reached out to our extended family to

friends professional colleagues

neighbors you name it

and what happened people helped

family members and friends took turns

staying with us to support scotty

and get him to his myriad of

appointments friends and colleagues

volunteered to run errands

or signed up on a google doc to bring

meals home-cooked meals mind you

for almost five months the universe

sustained us and scottie got better

he lived another four years does sharing

your wants and needs make you vulnerable

it does but vulnerability

is an unavoidable side effect of

ambition

executed right yes it can feel

terrifying to reveal your dreams

and your goals especially if you suffer

from imposter syndrome like i do

imposter syndrome that little voice in

your head

that little voice that is telling you

you don’t deserve that

you’re not good enough or smart enough

that voice that highlights all of the

negative consequences that could

possibly happen by sharing your goals

and aspirations

trust me dealing with that little voice

with imposter syndrome

it’s hard but you can do it here’s how i

do it

first realize that studies show

that most people suffer from imposter

syndrome

women more so than men and women of

color

the most that means imposter syndrome

it’s in the air it’s not personal

because it affects

everyone so it isn’t real that voice

it’s like tv it looks real it sounds

real

it can even feel real but it’s not real

therefore embrace that knowledge

and try to shut that voice out just like

you turn off that television

if that doesn’t work fake it fake it

act like you’re confident take a deep

breath shoulders back

and move forward acting like you know

what you’re doing

because eventually you will you always

figure it out

don’t let fear or imposter syndrome stop

you

from telling universe what you need and

what you want

remember no one achieves anything of

significance all by themselves

once you stop being afraid to express

yourself

you will be able to take control over

your life and get the help

you need to achieve your goals and

[Music]

aspirations