Living in our Power

so

i hope that at this point in the

evolution of the world

most of us realize that we live in our

stories stories that we tell ourselves

based on what we’ve experienced

so these could be stories about the

world and how it works stories about

ourselves and our role in the world

stories about what’s right what’s wrong

what’s good what’s bad

but there are two things that i think

most people don’t realize about our

stories that these two things i

definitely didn’t realize about living

in our stories

a little slow in these things and the

first one is

that our stories don’t stop we never

stop telling ourselves stories all we

can do is change the stories that we

tell ourselves

and the second thing is we don’t

understand

and appreciate the damage we can cause

to ourselves

our communities and our society with

some of the stories that we tell

ourselves

so this is one of the newest stories i

found hiding in myself

and that sounds a little creepy and it

is creepy it’s really freaking creepy

when you realize you have all these

thoughts ideas and stories hiding inside

you

so this is uh this is one of the newest

stories i found

inside of me and it’s one that i’ve

realized is one of the most damaging

stories i’ve ever

told myself and it starts like most

stories do

um when i was a kid so i was born

in the middle of a 10-year war and that

war was

an indirect consequence of huge

political change that was happening in

the country

but both the war and the political

change were direct consequences

of abuse of power

and when i was four years old we left we

left the country we left as refugees and

we moved to italy

and italy was our processing center i

was old enough to go to school so i had

to go to school

but the only school that had space or

that was available was a catholic school

so now you have an iranian muslim

refugee going to a catholic school

in the 1980s in a small town in italy

you can imagine how much fun that was

the nuns had no idea what to do with me

i was so far outside their idea of what

could exist

in their communities that unfortunately

they did what most people do

they chose fear instead of curiosity

they ignored me they isolated me they

locked me in the closet and they

wouldn’t let me speak or play with the

other children

what they did was combine their fear

with their power

and take abusive action well one year

later we moved to our final destination

where i saw yet again power being abused

in the education system in the judicial

system and on the streets over and over

and

over again so now we have war we have

revolution we have mistreatment by

teachers we have police brutality

i saw the actions the consequences and

many

many times the complete lack of

consequences

of abuse of power across three very

different cultures and countries

and this is a bit of a side note but i

do want to make this clear that

abuse of power is not limited to or

concentrated in

certain societies and that other

societies are immune to it

no abuse of power is everywhere

now going back to the beginning of this

talk to the stories that we tell

ourselves

the story i told myself was that all

power

leads to abuse and that power is

inherently bad

and i told myself this story because

that was the main reference of power

that i had until that point

well fast forward to the the adult

version of me

the person who wants so badly to be in a

position of power

so that she can do just a little bit of

good in this world

and also because i never

ever wanted to be actively abused by

power

again now pause and think for a minute

how challenging it is and how incredibly

messed up it is to want power to create

amazing positive change in the world and

to protect yourself

and protect others and at the same time

secretly silently and sincerely

believing

that all power is inherently bad

now i had known already that my

reactions to power and people in power

were a little bit exaggerated

um i feared it i stayed away from it i

became silent in front of it

i made myself invisible so that i

couldn’t be

abused by it but i

genuinely thought that it was because

well everyone else just has this magic

skill in terms of power and power

relations that i just don’t have

right like i missed school the day that

they taught that

so i decided to school myself instead

i practiced looking people in the eye i

practiced speaking

up i studied leadership and management

but it didn’t work and it didn’t work

because

even though my actions changed my

stories around power

didn’t so even when even when i

finally did get a seat at the table

i still didn’t speak up when it really

mattered

i did not speak up when it really

mattered

and this this really confuses people who

know me

because i’m loud i’m bold i’m outspoken

but only in the spaces where i feel safe

to be so and that’s what i’ve had to

unlearn

that i personally will never feel safe

unless

and until i change my story and i

learned to speak

up and live into my power

so i started to tell myself a new story

a story that

power is a mighty but neutral tool

power is a tool of both the past and the

future

power asks the person who holds it power

asks that the person who holds it

decides

what beliefs and systems of doing and

being they’re going to bring from the

past

into the present and what future they’re

going to create with that

power authority leadership these are

tools of culture and legacy

but power itself is neutral

power is a chameleon power takes on the

intentions

of the person who holds it

and way way too often i have seen the

intentions of people in power

wrapped around their insecurities

bringing

fear ego command and control racism

sexism and every other type of ism the

worst parts of culture bringing those

forward to build their legacy on that is

how

many people choose to use their power

and i am very clear that that is a

choice

now for me with this new story the story

that

that power is a mighty but neutral tool

i have chosen to change my focus

and i am now actively looking for

examples of power and leadership that is

messy but human that makes mistakes but

owns up to it takes accountability for

it

examples of power and leadership that

lead from the heart and not from fear

and ego

examples of power and leadership who ask

themselves and examine their thoughts

and question themselves and ask

how can i be better and not just do

better

and by by changing my story and changing

my focus

my actions are starting to slowly change

as well

i’m starting to call things out and call

people in

i am starting to claim my spaces

i am starting to say no to what i know

is wrong

and saying yes to opportunities of power

and with every single decision that i

make with

every decision that i make using my

power

i’m consciously asking myself what is

the culture

i want to bring forward and what is the

legacy i want to leave behind

so i’m starting to harness my power own

my power

and live into my power with positive

intent

now what are the odds that the girl you

heard about 10 minutes ago who was

locked in the closet

by adults who feared her could be

standing here or sitting here with you

today

what are the odds that any of us can

take our stories our narratives

and and and make them mean something

something different something else

something better

in my experience the odds are pretty

damn high

and trust me i am i am not where i want

to be

or where i personally need to be in

terms of speaking up

and living into my power but i am close

i am really freaking close

standing here sitting here talking to

you on this platform speaking my truth

this is power thank you

[Music]

you