The Power of Norm Breaking

dreams

consider the power of dreams

dreams are what activate us at a soul

level

dreams are our awakened purpose

dreams are the inner flames in our soul

our inner light that’s meant to be

shared with the world

all great things are born from dreams

dreams have birthed innovative

technology

music art dreams are the things that

this life is made out of

but a lot of us don’t work on our dreams

why is that it’s because we’ve grown

accustomed to following the norm

and when we continue on this path we

eventually lose our individuality

when we follow the norm we eventually

become the norm

usual typical and standard

and our dreams get lost in the process

of conforming to norms

norms keep us in our comfort zone and

that is the dangerous part because when

we’re

limited to being confined to the

parameters of a norm

we’re not unlocking our creativity

we’re not forced to think differently

we’re not

testing our true potential we remain

usual standard and typical

our society has many different norms and

to name a few we have

social norms behavioral norms gender

norms

but the norms i want to focus in on

today are occupational

and cultural norms what end up ends up

happening to a lot of us

is our family friends the media

they project ideas of what a successful

career path is

and they start telling us who we should

become

and when that happens we don’t even get

the chance to dream for ourselves

and when we don’t get that chance how

can we dream

big enough dreams to make other people’s

lives better

how can we dream big enough dreams to

make this world a better place

i’m here to give you a sense of urgency

on the importance of dreaming big

and relentlessly chasing after your

bigger dreams

i’m going to be sharing my story to

disrupt

and to activate the norm breaker in you

i’m here to start pushing you to your

yes

when it comes to your bigger dreams hi

everyone

my name is catherine aguilar and this is

my story

on the power of norm breaking i’m a

filipino american who grew up

in cerritos california and i was raised

by two parents

who immigrated from the philippines and

like many other immigrants

my parents came to america with the

american dream

to start a new life to build a new

chapter of success

and to take grasp of every opportunity

that they wouldn’t

have easily back in her homeland coming

to america

for my parents meant that they would be

the pioneers in our family to pass down

a higher quality of life and that meant

setting my brother and i

up to receive the best education making

sure that we

take grasp of every opportunity that

would lead us to a successful

career and then making sure we manifest

that successful career

but the thing is is in my culture

there are only four occupational paths

that are considered successful

doctor lawyer nurse or engineer

and for anyone who follows one of these

four career paths

they’re given automatic respect and

they’re considered

very successful it’s a cultural

norm for filipino parents to show their

love to their kids by

aggressively pushing them to follow one

of these four career paths

which is exactly what my parents did

but if i was being honest with myself

none of those four career paths ever

really fired me up

instead i felt very pressured

to follow something that i knew already

deep down that i didn’t want for myself

but i wanted to be valued i wanted to be

respected by my parents

i wanted to be considered successful by

anyone in my culture

and i thought the only way that was

going to happen

was if i followed my cultural norm

it’s normal to listen to what other

people tell you to do

it’s normal to pursue a career just to

have a career

but norm breakers they have the courage

to rise above the usual standard and

typical way

of this kind of thinking i remember

learning about

occupational norms as early as

kindergarten i was five years old

and i remember sitting through career

day

through a nice lineup of adults who

talked so passionately about their jobs

of being a firefighter

policeman businesswoman and

my teacher she turned to me and asked me

in front of the whole class

catherine so what do you want to be when

you grow up

so did i become who my child had self

hoped and dreamed of

am i proud of the career path that i

chose for myself

did i choose my career path or did i let

someone else choose for me

well i’m

not who little catherine hoped and

dreamed of

no not even close i am

so much more the old catherine was

defined by

all the rules and the cultural norm that

held

so much power over me was actually a

passed down

way of thinking that to be successful

one must become a doctor lawyer nurse or

engineer

that was passed down to my parents and

then passed down to me

and it was completely suffocating

because

my cultural norm of what success meant

was

no longer just a perception it was my

reality

i entered smith college as an

engineering major

and when i left the house to go to

college my parents were

so proud of me they would gush

to all our friends and family that

oh our eldest daughter just left the

house and she’s

very well on her way to being a

successful engineer

just like her dad i tried

so hard so hard to fall in love with the

idea

that i was well on my way to becoming a

successful engineer

and i tried so hard to love all my

engineering classes

but no matter how hard i tried to fall

in love

and no matter how hard i tried to love

my engineering classes

it wasn’t my truth what i really wanted

to major in

was environmental science and policy

smith gives you this thick

book in the beginning of your freshman

year and it’s filled with all the

classes you can ever take

after completing a full day’s worth of

engineering classes

i would go straight to my dorm room flip

open this book

go straight to the environmental science

and policy section

read through the classes look up into my

ceiling and daydream

how amazing it would be to actually sit

in on one of these classes and

love what i’m learning then

my mind would wonder to how cool the

professors of these classes were

so of course i would go stalk them on

linkedin go on ratemyprofessors.com do a

general google search

and after falling down this rabbit hole

i’d get a rush

of guiltiness over me and i’d quickly

close this book throw it under my bed

and snap out of my wishful thinking

if i already knew that engineering was

not the career path that i wanted to

pursue

then why was speaking up for myself

why was breaking my cultural norm such

an intimidating thing to do

one of the answers to that question is

because

when we break norms it requires us to

break

a pattern and to create a new routine

norm breaking requires us to finally

start thinking for ourself

and if i was going to break my cultural

norm it was going to require

me to be the first in my family to speak

up against the passed down wisdom of

what success meant

and i didn’t know if my heart gut and

intuition were going to lead me in the

right direction

but that wasn’t exactly the scariest

part for me

the scarier part was that

i knew i knew my parents came to

america with a big dream the american

dream

and my parents truly invested everything

they had in me

because i was their american dream

i represent every hope ambition

and idea of what america represents to

my parents

and if i was going to break my cultural

norm i was going to

need to take some big risks of my own

in creating my own path to success and i

didn’t know what i was going to do with

a a major and a degree in environmental

science and policy

would i need to go to grad school where

would i go to grad school what kind of

job would i get

would i be able to sustain myself and it

was just a never-ending list of

questions because i was about to venture

down

a totally new and unfamiliar path

but one thing i did know was that

pushing myself

past the familiar pushing myself past my

comfort zone

and truly following what i wanted was

what was right

i mustered up the courage to come out to

my parents that

i wasn’t going to be the engineer that

they hoped and dreamed of

instead i was going to major in

environmental science and policy

and see where that was going to take me

breaking my cultural norm to this day

has been one of

the best decisions that i’ve made for

myself because once i broke my cultural

norm

i was finally able to discover my true

strengths

passion interests i discovered

that i’m a leader a strategic thinker

a creative analytic and i have a deep

passion for public service

my bigger dream is to engage in public

service beyond the boundaries of my own

community

i’d like to be able to fully utilize the

skill set that i’ve worked hard to

cultivate over the years

of translating technical policies and

technical processes into

public engagement strategies that create

transparency

and inspire the community to take next

steps in making this world a better

place

my norm breaking journey led me to some

amazing opportunities that i never in a

million years thought i’d ever have

i was one of the select few chosen as a

white house intern

under the obama administration and i got

to serve as one of the president’s

scheduling and advanced interns and i

later went on to serve as

his public engagement intern and then

i also was able to be the first in my

family

to get to go to study at an ivy league

and i completed my master’s

at cornell university in public

administration

and that led me to completing

fellowships at the united nations

the environmental protection agency and

it’s just all

so crazy because i used to be the small

town girl from cerritos who was so

scared to break

any kind of rule and stray away from the

visions

and the plans that other people had for

me

but had i not had the courage to break

my cultural norm

i would have never discovered these

strengths passions and i most definitely

would have never had these opportunities

choosing to be a norm breaker is not

easy but it’s worth it

because once you free yourself from the

chain of a norm

you start to discover your higher

calling

and you realize your power within and

once you embrace this kind of freedom

you start to evolve into the person that

you were truly

created to be there are three key

ingredients to succeeding as a norm

breaker

passion persistence and patience

you first need to identify what your

passion is

early on in your norm breaking journey

because that’s going to be

your guiding light so instead of asking

yourself

what is my passion break that down a

little more

and ask yourself the simpler question

what makes my heart flutter if someone

were to ask me

what is my passion it’s public service

but if someone were to ask me

what makes your heart flutter what makes

my heart flutter

is being able to connect with others by

serving my community

to make this world a better place see

the difference there

i need you to dive to that depth

the second key ingredient that you’re

going to need to succeed as a norm

breaker

is persistence as a norm breaker

you’re going to experience severe

pushback

you’re going to experience moments of

doubt

and because you’re different people will

bring you down

but norm breakers they have dreams

that are bigger than the lies and the

severe pushback that they receive from

people

norm breakers choose to press onwards

towards their dreams

because their dreams have always been

bigger than themselves

and their dreams are worth chasing after

no matter what

and the third key ingredient that you’re

going to need to succeed as a norm

breaker

is patience as a norm breaker when you

identify

your bigger dreams but after identifying

your passion

that’s going to call for

pursuing those bigger dreams and that

calls for

manifesting the extraordinary and that’s

certainly

not an overnight process

i promised myself that i’m

not going to let norms define me

instead i’m going to dream big and

relentlessly

chase after my dreams because my dreams

for a better tomorrow

a better world they’re for my family

for you for our future

i’m calling you to join me on this

remarkable journey

of being a norm breaker dare to dream

when the norm says it’s impossible dare

to dream when others live in doubt

and despair i’m asking you

to be outrageous audacious and brave

enough to dream

big dream so big that your dreams

are unbreakable unshakable unwavering

non-negotiable i’m asking you

to join me in rising above the usual

standard and typical and together

let’s dream big thank you