The power of story telling in breaking down barriers

[Music]

imagine

you’re sitting in a busy doctor’s clinic

waiting for an appointment the doctor’s

running late

so you’re growing impatient

the door finally opens and i step out

i call out your name as you rise from

your chair

i say hi my name is marwa

and i am the doctor who will be looking

after you today

how do you think you would respond in

that moment

it’s not a trick question but it seems

like a silly one right

the most obvious answer would be

something like

it’s nice to meet you or

how are you going or even

gee doc you’re running late today

but what if i told you that some of the

responses i have received to this

introduction

over the last few years have been things

like

no offense but i don’t like people like

you

or are you even a doctor i didn’t think

your foreign qualifications would

measure up here

or i only speak to people with

australian visas

i chose to laugh that one off by saying

it’s all good mate

i have an australian passport

when i tell my friends these stories

like many of you

they are shocked and yet research would

suggest that my experience

is not a unique one last year a survey

of one thousand and six australians

revealed

that 51 of respondents

harbored negative sentiments towards

islam

and yet that same study also revealed

that 47

of participants had no friends or very

few friends

from a background different to their own

now there was one important bias in this

study and that was that

the majority of respondents were from

the same cultural background

but still it raises an important point

that ignorance amongst other things

can lead to unfavorable sentiments

i mean i don’t consider ignorance to be

a bad thing

in fact i’d like to think that we’re all

tossed into its vast ocean

from the moment we’re born if we

acknowledge

and recognize our ignorance we can use

that energy

to swim towards shores of enlightenment

conversations are valuable lifeboats

in these murky waters because they allow

us to connect with others

to appreciate their perspectives and to

recognize our shared humanity

if we don’t swim or we don’t use these

lifeboats when we need them to

then we risk drowning in the same waters

that ironically could have pushed us

to new frontiers and what happens

when we drown we flail

and we may pull others down with us

it is estimated that the cost of racial

discrimination alone

to our nation is 38

billion every year we live in a nation

of rich cultural pluralism where the

opportunity to find

people of different backgrounds to

connect with should be endless

so back to my point about diverse

experiences within australia

and cultural pluralism

the original owners of this land

represent the world’s

oldest civilization

a quarter of australians were born

overseas

and a further 20 of australians have at

least one parent

who is a migrant so why aren’t we

connecting over our diverse experiences

when i was in primary school i would

often come home in tears

telling my parents that i had been

teased again

much of the teasing as you can imagine

gravitated around

my head scarf or my hijab

one day my father sat me down and he

told me that it sounded like

most of these kids were probably curious

because they probably

hadn’t met someone who wore a hijab

before and this was true

because i was the only kid in my school

who wore one

he suggested that i asked the teacher

for an opportunity

to stand in front of my class and

explain what it meant to me

he said that if i did that chances are

most of the students would understand

and leave me alone

so picture mini-me standing in front of

this class

knees knocking wildly you can’t imagine

how daunting it was

i had very few friends at the time and

even less confidence

so it took some serious mustering of

courage

to stand in front of that class and say

a few simple words

what i said was not particularly

monumental

nor was it really eloquent but it was

enough

enough to humanize me to all those

children

to allow them to understand that

underneath it all

we were the same i was a kid just like

them

and i wanted the same things that they

did

to get through school to enjoy a

carefree childhood and

ultimately to be accepted

amazingly after that day and after that

simple talk i was largely left alone for

the remainder of time

that i spent at that school

it was the most crucial lesson i would

learn and one i have carried with me

throughout my life the power of

storytelling

in breaking down barriers

without knowing someone’s story we fail

to look at them beyond the biases we

attribute to them

or the stereotypes that we attach to

them

we are all human infallible

we all hold these biases even if it’s

uncomfortable to admit

or we don’t have the insight to do so

we have a tendency to be weary of what

we don’t know

or what defies our social norms

but the problem with biases and

stereotypes is that they’re just so

limiting

they reduce living breathing people

with stories aspirations

and goals to voiceless caricatures

and if we let them go unchecked they can

into more damaging discrimination or

bigotry

a few years after this incident i was

now in a different school

i was in year nine and i found myself

being approached by the teacher

about another student we’ll call him

ahmed

he had recently migrated to australia

with his family and was having

extraordinary difficulty fitting in at

school

he was subject to severe bullying and

racism

this took on both a verbal form like go

back to where you came from

terrorists and also physical abuse

he was bashed so many times that the

matter ended up in court

and a restraining order was issued for

his protection

exasperated the teacher came to me a

year nine student

asking ideas on how to help

i told her that what had helped me had

been my story

and that’s how i found myself standing

in front of a sea of seventh grade

students

the overarching message of my talk was

about tolerance and harmony

but i used my own experiences to hone

the idea home

ahmed’s biggest bully sat in the

audience

later that day he approached me in the

schoolyard

as he called out my name and i saw him

coming i swallowed a little harder

images of him throwing ahmed to the

ground and pounding his head came to

mind which i had witnessed

i was nervous had my talk offended him

but my thoughts were interrupted by his

voice

he said i just wanted to thank you for

today

i really learned a lot from your talk

it turned out i had a lot to learn too

dr martin luther king jr once said

i am convinced that men hate each other

because they fear each other

they fear each other because they don’t

know each other

they don’t know each other because they

don’t communicate with each other

and they don’t communicate with each

other because they are separated

from each other what separates us

is courage the courage it takes

to call out our own bias

the courage it takes to recognize

injustice

or even the courage it takes to say a

simple hello

or strike up a conversation ahmed’s

bully

had that courage he had the courage

to engage with my story

to approach me and start a conversation

that allowed us

to connect and dispel some of the hatred

and intolerance that ahmad faced

and most importantly he taught me about

recognizing and addressing my own biases

since then i have made it my mission

to tell as many stories as possible

in as many settings as possible i’ve

also shared some of my stories

in writing to reach more people than i

ever could have imagined

more important than my stories have been

the conversations that they have led to

some of these conversations have been

with people who have found validation

or a voice through my story

perhaps because they too have been

discriminated against

or treated differently for the way they

choose to dress

or for their faith or for other things

like their gender

the color of their skin their accent

or their social status

chances are that many of you today will

be able to relate

as an example if we take you to be the

microcosm of australia

20 of you will have experienced racial

discrimination

in the past year

and although i am a big advocate about

being vocal and telling stories

there are many times in my life where i

have not had the words to say

sometimes this has been due to

a culmination of pointed stares

off-handed comments

constantly having to explain myself

so-called

microaggressions other times

it has happened at moments of great

vulnerability

like the time i was attacked with a

chair and all i could do was curl myself

up to cushion the blows all the times

more than one

when i had my head scarf ripped off my

head and i felt like my pride was ripped

off with it

on one of these occasions i was now an

adult

walking down a street with a friend

a woman approached us and stopped us

she opened her mouth and a barrage of

verbal abuse

was launched at me all racial slurs

shocked the both of us stood in silence

what we didn’t know was that further up

the road

there was a bus stop and at that bus

stop

there was a young man who had taken his

headphones out

and was listening

he made his way down to us and

intervened

it was his words not mine

that made her stop reconsider

and walk away i will never know his name

but i will always admire his courage

my message to each of you here today is

that you

all have the capacity the

power and the responsibility

to dismantle hatred and intolerance

in every interaction that you have

it doesn’t matter if you’re that little

kid who was once bullied and shared your

story

or if you’re that once bully who

connected with that story

or if you’re that ally at the bus stop

who is reframing the narrative

never underestimate the power of your

words

your stories and your conversations

as agents for change and they don’t have

to be big conversations

start with the people around you

so perhaps when you go home today

knock on your neighbor’s door say hello

or maybe when you go to work tomorrow

you know that person who keeps to

themselves and is generally quite quiet

approach them or maybe when you’re

scrolling on social media

that person you once had a spat with a

few years ago but you’re still connected

direct message them

our voices are so much more powerful and

far-reaching

if we all collectively speak up and show

up

thank you

thank you so much