What my burn scars taught me the power of kindness

[Applause]

i remember

being real into the operating room for

one of my many surgeries

with my mom by my side

my hands were sweaty my heart was

pounding

i tried so hard to control my tears

so my mom feels bad but i just

can’t i was just

eight years old that

was my 40th surgery

going in and out of the operating room

began when i was 14 months old

it was november 2009 and we were

vacationing chinatown

my then babysitter was pushing me a

stroller along a busy street market

when someone accidentally tripped and

spilled boiling water

all over my body

i was rushed to the hospital and placed

in the icu

the doctor told my mom that i had a very

little chance of surviving

my mom was having none of that clearly

all she wanted to know was how long will

it take my daughter’s recover

my mom has an amazing ability to see the

positives when it comes to me

the hospital condition in guangzhou

china was not the greatest

so my parents had me transferred to a

better hospital in hong kong

that week in hong kong was absolute

torture for my parents they had to make

a life-changing

decision for me to be air ambulance

to vancouver children’s hospital just

days for her christmas

this meant that i be treated at home

with the support of our closest friends

and family

i spent two months in the hospital going

through surgery after surgery

and was finally about to go home just

before the 2010 murder olympics

what you may not know is that scarred

skin

does not stretch so surgeries are needed

to increase mobility as a group

when i was three years old my mom’s wish

from usc run

now i can only run but i can dance

over the years my parents took me across

the world

la chicago boston

france and even korea to find the best

plastic trojans for me

it turned out that all journeys led back

to vancouver

it was there that i got the best care

that i could

all thanks to a caring and amazing

plastic surgeon

dr beshear my parents

the plastic team at children’s hospital

and members of the bc firefighters burn

fund

have been my heroes they are a huge part

of my physical

and menstrual recovery

i won’t stand here until it’s been easy

no no it hasn’t

but i have learned to face fear

pain and yes sometimes anger

there are times where i felt angry

towards being in the wrong place

at the wrong time and there are times

where i felt angry at why we were in

china in the first place

when i know better now i could have

happened anywhere

to anyone the way that i learned to deal

with this

is their acceptance once i put away

blame and resentment

i found it easier to afford

i don’t look like other kids

when most people meet me for the first

time they may notice my scars

and think to themselves i wonder what

happened

some give weird looks and that’s okay

people are just naturally curious

one way how i dealt with the stairs is

my mom’s reminder

that people just curious and not trying

to judge me

so most times i respond with a smile

responding to stairs with kindness

instead of embarrassment lets others

feel more comfortable to be around me

when other people look at me i smile at

them

if i’m lucky they’ll smile back but at

least i don’t think i mean

going through trauma as a kid can either

be what makes me or breaks me

trauma is a fact of life for so many

people but it doesn’t have to be a life

sentence

my scars have become a part of me it

makes me who i

am when i look at myself in the mirror

i see scars but i also see me

and instead of filling myself with pity

i fill myself with hope

i tell myself that i’m smart i am

morally and i’m good enough

if i’m not kind to myself then how can i

expect other people to be kind to me

my accent has taught me i choose not to

be a burn victim

because i am a burn survivor

i choose to respond kindness over

resentment

i choose to live a meaningful life

rather than just staying alive

experiencing trauma changes you and the

best way to live with it

is to leave something bigger and better

than our limitations

we are not defined by our past

our past prepares us for the future

i hope that whenever you see a person

with a disability

or scars like me you’ll choose

to respond kindness give them a smile

because a smile will go a long way today

i live with purpose and i’m excited

about the future

a future where i can thank my parents

for all their love

and support a future

where i can be a plastic surgeon just

like dr rasheer

who has a brilliant mind and a caring

heart

and a future where i can be an

inspiration to everyone

who has suffered trauma

i choose to believe that people have the

best intentions

i choose to see a world of kindness

we are who we choose to become

you