Escaping the prestige trap How to reshape our definition of success

[Music]

for as long as i can remember

i have been obsessed with the notion of

prestige

from the clothes i wore to the clubs

that i joined i assessed the value of

the things in my environment

based on how prestigious they were how

highly was it regarded by my peers and

my general society

in fact if you google the word prestige

you will find

that it’s defined as widespread respect

and admiration for something

based on its perceived value but what is

that perceived value prestige is a very

interesting social construct that’s been

with us since almost the very first

civilization

it’s a unique form of respect that

grants the beholder

a certain level of power in our society

holding a lot of prestigious titles is

almost anonymous to holding a lot of

power

one of my favorite quotes actually is

from spider-man

when uncle ben tells a naive peter

parker that with great power comes great

responsibility

i guess what he was trying to say is

that with great prestige comes great

responsibility

but is that actually true so

i went to a very very competitive high

school a place where your level of

success

was more often than not determined by

how prestigious of a summer internship

you got or how prestigious of a

university you got into

so naturally when i came to college i

continued to carry this very

narrow-minded definition of success

i defined my success based on the

prestige of the clubs that i joined or

the scholarships that i earned

in fact when i stepped foot on campus i

entered with a singular goal

of attending the midterm foundation

fellowship the most prestigious

scholarship the university of georgia

has to offer

and so every club i joined every

activity i participated in every person

i talked to

i did so with the one goal of getting

the foundation fellowship

and when it came time to apply my

meticulous planning and

months and months of hard work

eventually got me to an interview

but even after being so close to the

finish line even after sacrificing so

much

i wasn’t selected you see i

was a victim of the prestige trap the

prestige trap

is chasing what others think is

important rather than what

we actually think is important i was so

consumed by this one idea of success

that when i didn’t receive the

scholarship i

genuinely believed that i had failed in

life

my quest to attain the most prestigious

status at this university

came at the cost of my mental health my

friendships and most importantly

my belief in my own abilities

but what happened to me isn’t anything

unique

we see this all the time everywhere in

our society

we’re taught to chase prestige because

it opens doors for us

we should work hard and take advantage

of our education our resources and our

opportunities

to get into a very prestigious school we

should then work even harder

at said prestigious school to land a

very prestigious job

and then we should continue working hard

at said prestigious job

to accumulate so much wealth that

eventually

we can all enter a position of such high

privilege

that our children can repeat this entire

process for their children

i believe that this cycle of success is

what prevents us

from truly pursuing things that we find

true value

in our end goal should not be some

prestigious title or some prestigious

honor

but rather it should be a meaningful

pursuit that we find

true intrinsic value in for example

a recent study from 2017 found that

almost

40 percent almost 40 percent of

harvard’s graduating class

took up a job in either consulting or

banking simply because they were

considered

elite professions now there’s nothing

wrong with consulting or banking but

when you’re coming from a school like

harvard

and have access to some of the best

faculty resources and privileges

those students might have been able to

affect more genuine and impactful change

in fields that they were actually

passionate about fields such as

education criminal justice

alternative energy or even climate

change

now don’t get me wrong i’m not saying

that chasing prestige is completely bad

if i hadn’t gunned for the foundation

fellowship i would not have pushed

myself

to work as hard or perform at the level

that i did but i paid a heavy price for

it

what we shouldn’t do is chase prestige

blindly

before we blindly apply to that

prestigious program

job or scholarship we should take a

minute and really ask ourselves

do we actually want to do this we should

try and find value in things that

actually bring meaning to us

and to those around us passion should

come before prestige

not the other way around the key driver

of this cycle of success should be the

things that we actually care about

things that we value things that excite

us things that we’re passionate about

not things that will only bring us more

validation in society

you see people chase prestige because

they want to feel

powerful they equate that feeling of

recognition and power

with success but i disagree success is

not feeling powerful

or holding some fancy title success

success is the culmination of our values

and how we choose

to express them and ultimately practice

them

i for example overvalued prestige to

such an extent

that i completely neglected my other

values of mental health

friendship and self-belief and at the

end of that entire experience i came out

feeling

incredibly unsuccessful but i soon

realized that i don’t need

the foundation fellowship to accomplish

the things that i still want to

accomplish

we must reassess our definition

of success we must sit down and really

ask ourselves

what do we actually value what do we

actually care about

and how can we actually make some sort

of tangible difference

in the world around us

now i understand that not everyone can

afford to sit down

and ask themselves those exact questions

because they

are too worried about where their next

meal is going to come from but for those

of us who don’t have to worry about that

for those of us

who are privileged we must prioritize

meaningful change before titles when

uncle ben

told peter that with great power comes

great responsibility

what he really meant is that with great

privilege comes great responsibility

spider-man’s ability to save lives and

fight off some of the most powerful

villains

is not some prestigious title or some

prestigious honor it is a privilege

a privilege that he capitalizes on every

single day

regardless of what other people say

about him

we too must learn to use our privilege

to make value-based contributions as

opposed to title-based contributions

and if we don’t know what our values are

if we don’t know what excites us if we

don’t know what we care for

that’s okay but so long as we keep an

open mind and so long as we continue

trying new things i

am absolutely certain that each one of

us will be able to find a unique way

to express our true values our true

passions

and ultimately our true selves

the reason i say all of this is because

if you look at the word prestige a

little bit closer

you will find that it’s derived from the

latin root word

prestigious which literally means

illusion so let’s not spend our lives

chasing illusions thank you