The demise of guys Philip Zimbardo

but today I want us to reflect on the

demise of guys guys are flaming out

academically they’re wiping out socially

with girls and sexually with women other

than that is not much of a problem so

what’s the data so the data on dropping

out is amazing boys are more than 30

percent more likely than girls to drop

out of school in Canada five boys drop

out for every three girls girls

outperform boys now at every level from

elementary school to graduate school

there’s a ten percent differential

between getting bas and all graduate

programs with guys BR falling behind

girls two-thirds of all students in

special ed remedial programs are guys

and as you all know the boys are 5 times

more likely than girls to be labeled as

having attention deficit disorder and

therefore we drug them with ritalin

what’s the evidence a billion white of

wiping out first it’s a new fear of

intimacy intimacy means physical

emotional connection with somebody else

and especially with somebody of the

opposite sex who gives off ambiguous

contradictory phosphorescent signals

and every year there’s research done on

self-reported shyness among college

students and we’re seeing a steady

increase among males and this is two

kinds it’s a social awkwardness the old

shyness was a fear rejection it’s a

social awkwardness like you’re a

stranger in a foreign land they don’t

know to say they don’t want know to do

especially one on one opposite sex they

don’t know the language of face contact

the nonverbal and verbal set of rules

that enable you to comfortably talk to

somebody else

listen to somebody else there’s

something I’ve developed here called

social intensity syndrome which tries to

account for why guys really prefer male

bonding over female mating it turns out

from earliest childhood boys and then

men prefer the company of guys physical

company and it’s actually a cortical

arousal we’re looking at because guys

have been with guys in in teams in clubs

in gangs and fraternities especially in

the military and then in pubs and this

peaks at Super Bowl Sunday when guys

would rather be in a bar with strangers

watching a totally overdressed Aaron

Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers rather

than Jennifer Lopez totally naked in the

bedroom the problem is they now prefer a

synchronistic internet world to the

spontaneous interaction and social

relationships what are the causes well

it’s an unintended consequence I think

it’s excessive internet use in general

excessive video gaming excessive new

access to pornography the problem is

these are arousal addictions drug

addiction simply want more arousal

addiction you want different drugs you

want more of the same difference so you

need the novelty of the arousal you need

to be sustained and the problem is the

industry is supplying it Jane McGonigal

told us last year that by the time of

boys 21 that he’s played ten thousands

of video games most of that in isolation

as you remember Cindy Gallup said boys

don’t know the difference between making

love men between making love and doing

porn the average boy now watches 50 porn

video clips a week and then some guy

watching 100 obviously and the porn

industry

and the porn industry is the fastest

growing industry America 15 billion

annually for every 400 movies made in

Hollywood there 11,000 now made a point

important videos so the effects very

quickly is it’s a new kind of arousal

boys brains are being digitally rewired

in a totally new way for change novelty

excitement and constant arousal that

means they’re totally out of sync in

traditional classes which are analog

static and interactive passive they’re

also totally out of sync in romantic

relationships which build gradually and

subtly so what’s the solution it’s not

my job I’m here to along it’s your job

to come but Canisius but who should care

the only people should care about this

is parents are boys and girls educators

gamers filmmakers and women who would

like a real man who they can talk to who

can dance who can make love slowly and

contribute to the evolutionary pressures

to keep our species above banana slugs

no offense to banana slug owners thank

you